Accidental Chair @bvb1123 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@sedi_sello23768

@DouglasCha86652

@BradMBradford

@peachRin_v

@ddu_bbh

@kakokyudance

@bokeplokalmalam

@tjbranca1

@meghagarg453

@jrad_is_fab

@skilledwork_org

@ProbablyNim

@kazki_arhai

@levi_kelly10

@mersnciftucrtli

@turbanlisever69

@thantun4

@Emilio610831818

@emheesun

@FutureTF

@vvividlyyy

@bokeplokalmalam

@dfo7E2Ur9hLR0XR

@ow_ydot

@elenamandarina_

@PettyPoodle22

@croesoeryri

@Hijabbacol2883

@kinoko07_game

@Sykkuno

@Nuria_Salas

@chy11967128

@CoachSavino

@JediSympathiser

@Dylan_Arroyo14

@allforbuddie

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry You then: I really need this for both of us. Him, then: No. I don't care. Him, now: Oh, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions! Tell him that not having sex is a 'lack of planning' on his part.

10

41

4K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

29 days

@ask_aubry If he hid this from you until after he thought you couldn't say no he's obviously going to spend your whole relationship hiding things from you until he thinks it's the "right time" to tell you. Oh yeah, and I'd bet good money he expects you to be the main caretaker of a baby

14

48

3K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 years

@solomongeorgio @WittyHendrix I read all those fucking words in all those huge fucking books then watched who knows how many movies there were and you come to me, in my house, on the day of my daughter's wedding, and boil all that down to ONE SENTENCE?? The nerve...

6

32

3K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

26 days

@judgementshae As they say, "The ax forgets, the tree remembers"

2

87

3K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry You can't go on a boat with a period. The sharks will smell the blood and attack. Boating 101

18

12

2K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

27 days

@adammocklerr Yes, Trump hears immigrants are getting visas and immediately thinks they're getting credit cards loaded with money from our taxpayers. He also hears the term "asylum seekers" and thinks that some immigrants are coming from insane asylums. That's why he keeps bringing up Hannibal

40

389

2K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

27 days

@ask_aubry He did this to himself. You don't get drunk and fuck someone unless you wanted to fuck them while sober. Keep your kid. Let him visit. Do not let him take her even for a night. He's already broken your trust. Don't let it happen again.

3

16

2K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

6 months

@ask_aubry Apparently to the alt-right "facts don't care about your feelings" unless you're a lonely man who's upset about being rejected by women. Then your feelings and the abhorrent actions of violence you decide to do are the only things that matter. And of course this is all the fault

7

62

1K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@benedictsred Conditioner is just shampoo that went to college and got a fine arts degree

1

25

1K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 months

@ask_aubry Apparently having a doctorate and a Nobel Prize means you can't cook. And dude, help take care of your own children if you want them that much.

12

1K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry It's like some guys think women are a completely different species from men. It'd be hilarious if it wasn't so depressing.

4

1K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@ask_aubry Really, if sexbots solve your supposed problems then that's great because it just proves you never wanted a woman in the first place.

13

29

1K

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@ask_aubry Unbelievable. Can't believe she'd stop talking to him after such a stable genius request. He absolutely dodged a bullet. s/

2

4

986

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@theliamnissan This guy - I beat my wife and she involved the cops and left me. How do I demand she come back, apologize, and accept my leadership. Pretty sure I can force her to come back to me

7

14

991

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 months

@ask_aubry Khloe as your boss I am extremely aroused by your Facebook pics. Obviously you can't block me (company rules) so please cover up more so I'm not forced to pleasure myself to them. Thanks. Good talk.

1

0

963

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

29 days

@ask_aubry He's 30 going on 15. Leave. Don't look back. Men who are weird about periods have just a huge red flag on them. It's never going to end. Periods are just a regular bodily function and there are guys out there who have a fifth graders attitude of "ew, icky, gross". If it's that

8

16

965

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@hecubian_devil Oh no! I never thought the leopards would eat MY face!

2

1

901

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

5 months

@ask_aubry This guy has a career in a cemetery the way he, without any promoting, dug his own grave in a matter of sentences

5

3

882

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

5 months

@ask_aubry Advice to the dude: As soon as you suggest to the girl you're talking to that you see her as a "cock sleeve" you've ruined all chances of any sexual, romantic or even friendly relationship. I can't believe I have to say that.

9

22

852

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

27 days

@il0venostalgia Elisabeth Shue

14

5

814

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry This "woman" is a 36 yr old jobless man, living in "her" parent's basement. What? You think something seems amiss? Perchance?

1

4

730

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

5 months

@No7Sammy This man reviles women. He has no feelings for them at all. He just wants to be with his boys. No girls allowed. In my day we had a term for men like this: homosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

10

9

696

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

10 years

This is your captain speaking. Grr..this is your captain growling. Mooo..this is your captain mooing. I can do anything. I'm the captain.

15

285

636

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@ask_aubry These are the same men who think being pregnant at 35 is "geriatric pregnancy" and menopause starts at 37

18

3

644

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@ask_aubry Man: Hey, you should not have tattoos or a job and want to have my kids and submit to me Women: No, I don't think so Men: Then I'm not going to date you Magazine - "The Dangerous Rise Of Men Who Won't Date "Woke" Women

12

43

657

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

30 days

@ask_aubry This guy's friends: Hey, you've got a good life and people like you. We love your personality. Don't be so sad. This guy: No, I must think about dicks. Big dicks. Little dicks. Girth. All dicks. Can't you see my life is hell?

1

3

632

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@PicturesFoIder As a 53 yr old I can tell you that you become more attracted to more mature ladies naturally. You can still appreciate the beauty of the younger women but unless you're a creep you keep it to yourself. Besides, part of the attraction to women close to my age is we have similar

11

7

605

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 months

@ask_aubry When you lower your dating pool to an extremely small amout and still can't find anyone, maybe it's time to think of the common denominator and look inward.

4

2

615

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry "I'm fine with just being friends" "*Makes extremely overt sexual suggestion** "Why doesn't anyone want to be friends anymore?"

3

4

607

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry Imagine the thinking behind "What a hot child" then deciding to create a post showing her as a child and as an adult and thinking, again: "This needs a caption about hot much hotter she was as a literal child" Then thinking, great post!

2

3

575

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

10 months

@ask_aubry Girl, just throw the whole boyfriend out

1

3

552

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry The main problem with the "Trad Wife" trend is that most men who want a trad wife have no desire or discipline to be a trad husband, they just want to have a woman who does all the household chores and submits to him while he does whatever he wants. Oh yeah, plus a lot of the

15

29

550

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 month

@ask_aubry Yeah. I stop taking these posts seriously whenever they say their woman has to be "submissive". Aside from calling women "females" it's the biggest red flag out there.

1

7

550

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry Sir, that's not how that works. That's not how any of that works

0

534

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

29 days

@ask_aubry Having been put in a similar although not as extreme situation by an ex who turned anyone who could help me get away from her against me let me just say. It's only going to get worse. I stayed trapped for almost four years until I escaped with help from my best friend who never

2

17

534

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@ask_aubry Anytime a man says that men should control themselves around women and adds a BUT I always know the post is eventually going to devolve into how it's women's fault, actually. Every. Single. Time.

3

10

491

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 months

@LolOverruled Then the baby pulled a pistol on the nurse, "We gotta problem here?"

1

5

485

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

5 months

@ask_aubry Remember, in most cases escalate. Once the abuse is out of the bottle, it won't go back it. Almost always the abuse continues to get worse and worse. If you want to stay with him get him in therapy. Change this deep doesn't happen alone. Unfortunately you always have to be

9

7

444

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

10 years

CNN just renewed the missing plane for another season

15

352

396

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

10 months

@GOPJosh20 To hear a group of kids identify as alpha makes in this year of 2023 is equal parts hilarious and cringe. Alpha men never refer to themselves as Alpha males so by default you're automatically beta.

5

6

419

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 months

@ask_aubry This guy's synopsis: Real life girls are icky. I want me a cartoon lover. Oh, and if tentacles are involved then that's fine. Better that "yuck" real girls with *gags* arm hair. He seems well adjusted.

2

4

414

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ConSelfOwns They're just saving everyone's time from going to the polls

0

408

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry Oh, he's dated many anime waifus and he's positive real Asian girls are exactly like that.

1

409

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@notcapnamerica Holy shit, West Virginia! My expectations were low but fucking hell

6

4

408

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

My wife and I were happy for 24 years. Then we met.

7

173

353

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry "Let's bring back slavery but just for immigrant women" - this guy, thinking he made an intelligent observation

0

3

388

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@thechadx2 Yes. I need no context.

0

1

352

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

25 days

@DannieD01 His family tree only had one branch and they cut it down

11

6

348

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

5 months

@sheologian This just in: apparently some men have no idea that women are just like them and actually eat. This man needs waifus and sex dolls to never bother actual human women.

3

332

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@ask_aubry Sorry he's sick. He still owes you. Period. Let them downgrade their lives. It's not like you're putting them in the poor house. I guarantee if you waive the payments he'd be in recovery in no time spending all that money that was rightfully yours.

0

5

331

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@BadMedicalTakes I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for $500, Alex

2

3

324

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry Quotes like this is why comprehensive sex education is needed in every school.

4

6

318

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

28 days

@ThatEricAlper Pees every time they're leaving the house to run errands.

3

2

321

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@jarvis You're still premium, Jarvis

1

0

313

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

9 months

@ask_aubry "I'm so lazy and incompetent I'm physically and mentally incapable of lowering the toilet seat for someone I'm supposed to be in love with just because" - There, fixed the caption

0

4

285

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

27 days

@Bluestate1984 @adammocklerr It's scarier because his followers believe him. It's like the absolute worst game of telephone ever.

1

15

290

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

27 days

@sweetiepiebri I'd say your pretty face, butt...

1

13

229

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

I'd be a horrible gangster: "You ain't got the money? That's ok. Just pay me when you can. It's alright, see I'm not even mad."

3

141

251

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@ask_aubry Alright. Stop. Hammer Time!

5

1

267

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@ask_aubry Sounds like Nate needs to be on a government list somewhere

2

262

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

Twitter is a great place to get hilarious jokes that no one in real life find even the slightest bit funny.

5

127

237

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry This guy- "I didn't want to have sex. I just wanted to have a pillow fight and give each other face masks, you know, because I'm a High Value Man"

0

1

248

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@RestrictedVids "Honey, it's ok. No one can see" "You promise" "Of course. Look how dark the panels are. No one can tell" "Well, ok then..."

1

0

235

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 month

@ask_aubry Waaa! Waaa! Poor me! I keep harassing women and no one thinks about how I feel about it. Waaa! Waaa!

1

221

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@ask_aubry Somebody's gotta teach these guys female anatomy. It can't be be cuz I'm gonna hurt a bunch of feelings

2

5

220

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

6 months

@ask_aubry So apparently the only qualification for public office is "fuckability"? Well, if we accept that this disqualifies Trump then I'm open to the arguments

5

1

219

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 years

@LynnSharig8 @Thorpa10 Funny. Until now I thought Clapton's lowest point was his massive heroin addiction in the early 70s. Way to find a way to sink lower, Eric!

7

12

195

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

If I was rich I'd be considered eccentric and everyone would be delighted by my escapades but since I'm poor I'm bipolar and need medication

5

106

192

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 months

@ask_aubry Anyone who wants a "daughter-wife" should be imprisoned for life without parole. There's no saving that.

0

1

206

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 years

@solomongeorgio @WittyHendrix No, I can honestly say you didn't lie. Next do Lord Of The Rings. I have read or seen none of that and I'd love a one sentence synopsis. Jk lol

7

1

198

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

So..is there a Credible Hulk?

12

101

183

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

My cat hates when I give her a bath. I guess she doesn't like how my tongue feels.

7

104

185

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@ask_aubry It's always projection. Accuse the other side of what you're doing.

4

5

193

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

8 months

@ask_aubry For the last time - let women wear what they feel comfortable and think they look good in. You not being able to control your perverted thoughts is not women's fault. Learn some damn self control and stop blaming the wrong people that you have none.

0

6

189

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

9 months

@TheRightCant Conservatives confuse being mean and shitty with being funny. That's why there are a miniscule amount of actually funny conservative leaning comedians

5

0

181

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 months

@ask_aubry Texas tourism board slogan: Come to Texas! We hate women, immigrants, and the LGBTQ+ community! But we got the Alamo.

1

3

182

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 month

@ask_aubry ...and everybody clapped. And the cashier, he was Albert Einstein

3

1

184

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

Cop: What did the man look like? Me: He had a mustache, about 5'8"- Cop: That's a big mustache.

2

86

165

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

29 days

@ask_aubry So, as long as your Christian, killing kids is ok if you deem the mother "evil" (a famously subjective term). At this point Christians need to just admit they don't care about the safety of children, they just hate abortions because that's one more life they can't control. This

6

14

178

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 months

@ask_aubry Stocked up toilet paper. Not like the COVID rush but ilke maybe an almost empty pack but a full package next to it. Shows he likes ahead.

4

0

181

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@ask_aubry That's not a red flag, that's a red flag, red curtains and a red sofa

7

0

174

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@definitelyvita TV's always been progressive, at least until FOX news and the conservative Christian networks. But no one wants to admit to be against progress, the conservative class (once again) stole a word from AAVE and turned it into they and their voters could use it as their Boogeyman

1

14

171

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

When I'm at a party and say "I'm bi" everyone wants to hang out. Then I add "polar" and everyone walks off shaking their heads. It blows.

2

68

158

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 months

@DoomScroling @risaruart Right, because men never play with their *checks notes* penises

4

3

167

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@jlock17 @BadMedicalTakes Oh, the Athenian Section?

3

1

160

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@silentstrangr G-Raff

4

3

155

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

26 days

@HalfwayPost "starting to"?

2

157

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

7 months

@ask_aubry This guy: Women always have terrible experiences on dating sites because they always pick the wrong guys. It's their fault. Also this guy: I have awful stories from meeting girls on dating sites. It is also their fault.

1

2

157

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 months

@ask_aubry Something wholesome on Twitter! Don't let Elon and his fanboys find out. Great post!

0

151

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

2 months

@PostingOften It's a dog lying down on a mountain and I will accept nothing else. No questions in this trying time please

6

3

146

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

The only thing I learned from The Muppet Show is that apparently it's ok for a frog to fuck a pig.

7

69

127

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

I was trying to explain Twitter to a friend After about 3 tries I finally said "it's like Facebook only it's fun & nobody knows who you are

6

54

130

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

22 days

@sweetiepiebri You're very pretty. Way more than a 6

2

3

123

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 months

@ask_aubry OP: I'm disgusting and can't get a girlfriend. Someone needs to build a machine to match someone to me who would normally never date me but then they can't leave. It would only benefits incels like me. This is a great idea and should immediately be implemented. I am owed a

4

0

140

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 year

@ask_aubry OP: As a man I have no impulse control so if you women are too sexy for me you can't say anything if I can't control my sexual urges. Thinks to himself: Yes, what I said was a good thing and no one can argue with it.

2

0

141

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

9 months

@ask_aubry Sounds like he finally smelled what the lady was cooking. Seriously, at that point all bets are off. Gas warfare is completely called for. Plus I bet he doesn't bother her again.

3

0

141

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

3 years

@catcavespdx @3catSmith @gabriel_bogart @solomongeorgio @WittyHendrix Maybe the real ring is the dweebs we met along the way...

1

3

136

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

4 years

@pilau @WittySassBasket I was a server and a bartender for over 25 years. I can't count on both hands how many times I was told "this ice is too cold". Service industry workers deserve hazard pay just for dealing with the general public.

0

2

135

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

1 month

@ADHDForReal You: Time to study! Deadpool voice: Fuck no, we're looking up the history of metal on Wikipedia You: No, I gotta- Deadpool: Some say heavy metal started with

1

8

136

Accidental Chair

@bvb1123

11 years

The dollar store: for when you don't feel like dressing up for wal-mart

3

59

119