Christopher @bobbybalmoral Twitter profile

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@GhaderAlkhawal1

Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Can't believe this logo made it to a presentation without anyone saying "I dunno, are you sure it wouldn't look better if we just use an 'o'?"

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

You lot are all triple vaccinated because you're responsible people. I'm triple vaccinated because my father's from Yorkshire, and he told me that I should take anything I can get for free 👍

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

My uncle passed away relatively suddenly on Tuesday, and I'd like to share what is possibly the greatest long-game practical joke I've ever encountered, & one which should cement his place in the annals of history. A short 🧵 follows:

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

7 years

@JJRyan64 @Cheoffors @branchenergy @lauriemac123 @joelgaskell @andy_murray @DietmarHamann That's not how one #hashtags , sir. Be better at this.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

6 years

@sumarumi @Ollie4TheMany @paul_marsh_ @sainsburys If you aren't vegan, I wouldn't worry about it, pal.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

"Changed yer fucken story awfully quick there didn't ya Agnes"

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 months

@Beska Hi mate do you know that a bird probably dropped it?

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Fred Durst looks like he's about to give a mission in GTA Vice City.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Turns out, my uncle, a grown-ass man, hadn't been staring at the bird, he'd spent years seeing if he could teach it to swear and this innocent Mynah bird had, in a thick Yorkshire accent, told a kid on a school trip to "fuck off", before chanting "Sheffield Wednesday".

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

TLDR: My uncle was a legend and I will miss him terribly.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Alt text: A logo that should say "locum", but due to poor design choices, appears to be a proclamation of affection for bodily fluid

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

@UrOrientalist

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

We did it. We are now hiding for a bit ❤️

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 months

We went for a roast earlier today, and were informed that we were one of two tables who'd won a free roast in a Yorkshire pud. They didn't give us any indication that it was literally a whole ass baking tray 😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

6 years

This image is everything.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

These horrors are the worst thing that's ever been invented.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Patient's wife asked me if his echo confirmed that he had a heart. This is a common joke, so I dutifully forced a laugh, and she followed it up with "great so can that machine tell us if he's got a fucken soul, then?" This job is great sometimes.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

BEHOLD! THE GREATEST LEAD APRON IN THE WORRRRLLLLDDDDD!

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

9 months

Milestone moment for me, as my first IMPULSE patient has been recruited and scanned. Enjoy this absolutely non-awkward pic to celebrate. @DanXAugustine

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Ambulance crews are understandably concerned about being unable to find fuel when out and about, and Joe Public is getting shitty with them for daring to mention it. Incredible stuff.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Anyone else tired of it all? Work? Tired of it. Off duty? Tired of it. Being tired? Fucking tired of it mate.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Thought I'd hit the jackpot at work, as I've found four pens throughout the morning. Turns out there's a hole in my pocket, and I've been repeatedly celebrating finding the same pen 🙄

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Had my first proper "you know you don't have to wear mask mate" on the bus, today. Yeah mate, everything you've said is true, but if I were you I'd simply MINDMYOWNFUCKENBUSINESS or whatever.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Anyone else spend 2-3 hours every single morning getting over the sadness of 'being awake' 🥲

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

The cost of living in the UK keeps going up, but the overall experience of living here gets markedly shitter every year. I hate that for us, cheers xx

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Lmao what 😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Spent my drive home making sure there was no space for everyone who tried to jump the queue by ignoring the massive "lane closed, 400m" sign on the ring road. All Audis, if you're interested.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Went 'round our wedding venue today and LOOK HOW PRETTY!!

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

Don't bother looking at the comments; this is a chip butty. End of discussion.

❤️kayjay💥

@kazzaloveslife

4 years

What do you call this??

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

1 year

In 2017 I discovered I could eat two full curries from a salad bowl. In 2023 I discovered I can run a full marathon.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

I didn't go to my department Christmas party last night, but it looks like Cardiology's reputation as healthcare's reprobates remains intact.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Unavoidable chaos at work as a PC built in 2002, which a morning's list hinges upon, isn't powering up. 👌

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

This hotel is about 4mins from my front door, but it's air conditioned and I think £136 is a bargain for some cold ass sleep.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

1 year

Cried at the end

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

1 year

How is a whole-ass pony absolutely fine, yet a watch is like cracking open a phial of smallpox in a matron's face? I would like to wear a watch AND see a pony in the hospital pls.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

1 year

@david_r_morgan Is it the one on the right?

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Our wedding package is called the "Luxury Package", and it doesn't include chairs. 🙃

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Loool the official Tough Mudder photos are out and this is the most badass I've ever looked in my life

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

My sister's dog has decided that this is quite far enough

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

A lad in the gym asked if I was done with my skipping rope. I said it was my own skipping rope, and he said "yeah but are you done with it?" The nerve.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

Take your weird monument, and shove it up your arse. Start by giving us proper single sign-on, and an IT system that can handle more than 20 simultaneous users per trust without grinding to a halt. 👍

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Got a letter from the chief exec this morning because a patient said I'm amazing 🔥

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Patient asked me if I'd thought about leaving the NHS, today. I said "no", but I meant "yes literally every single minute of every single day".

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

I've just spent a whole haircut being told how selfish the NHS were for accepting claps during Covid. It's a decent haircut I just agreed and said I worked at the bus station.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

To his surprise, the staff member said that the Mynah bird, which is famously able to mimic the human voice with enough repetition, was no longer able to be displayed by the public because it had somehow developed some bad habits...

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 months

The England men's team are doing a pretty good job of ruining football for England fans. The English VAR team are doing a brilliant job of ruining football for all of Europe.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

@IGN All six Stadia owners will be crushed by this news.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Credit to mojo1287 on Reddit for this absolute gem.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

My boss sometimes asks me why I don't post more educational diagnostic cardiology stuff on here. My trace of an ICD causing VT got 1 like. A tweet about semen got 27k. That's why.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

There's a rather large aviary near us. When I was a lot younger & my uncle visited from Rotherham, he used to be very excited to go so he could see his favourite Mynah bird. We wandered around the aviary, & he spent his time there staring at this bird through the mesh fence

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Shaun Bailey still hasn't been told that his party control the Metropolitan Police.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

New experience: Patient was very angry with me because he set his own watch forward one hour instead of back.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

The driver who caused my wee car accident yesterday estimated my age to be "early twenties" to her insurance company, so I wish her the best day ever 🥰

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

This carried on for a few years, until suddenly the bird was no longer there, and had been replaced by a bird whose breed now escapes me all these years later. My father assumed the worst, & asked the staff if the bird had died.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Can't believe we get this AND claps

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

All of the nurses in the lab are eating Fruit Pastilles lollies and they didn't get me one. I genuinely hope that every single one of them is laced with piss.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Great start to the day 🔥

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Lmao my dad just told me he and my mum will no longer be able to have lunch for my birthday next week, as they've decided to go to Madeira instead . The lunch was pre-arranged. By them. 🥲

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Pre-wedding gym session ✅ @TharushaGunawa4 ironing my shirt ✅ Get married 🟩

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Here he is. Carnage the therapy dog.

Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

There's a really cute, well-behaved dog called "Carnage" on BBC Breakfast right now.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

If Southgate's lads win tomorrow, I will risk my already dodgy professional reputation by replacing "Kind regards" with "It's coming home" in all work emails for the remainder of England's tournament.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

This storm is obviously a hoax, and the government's way of controlling the populace. I've got a copy of the Magna Carta in my window, and I'm going to protest these draconian weather warnings tomorrow at 8am. #ScamStorm

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

@Jeremy_Hunt Mate wait until you find out what Jeremy Hunt did to the workforce. You'll be furious.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

1 year

A whole year married to this absolute hottie 🥰

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

I've had nearly 24hrs to digest my feelings on the first work Xmas party I've done since I stopped drinking. It turns out loud, busy places make me very very nervous unless I've had some pints, and it was difficult. I'm also worried that I'm boring now?

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 months

@Beska Has anyone told you the emergency tank is (for whatever reason) insufficient yet?

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

@loki1706

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

I'm half Scottish and half English. I've been dreading tonight since Euro '96 and I've already had a mildly threatening text from each parent 👍

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

6 years

Reeeeeeeally?! What does Rahul have to do to booted? Bake Prue's specs into a fucking battenburg?! Ludicrous decision. #GBBO

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Today I helped a FY1 with her ICD deactivation paperwork. I printed the forms, sorted all the info for her, walked her through the how and why of both the admin and the necessity of the process. I didn't shout, get snippy, or impatient, because it's only her third day.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Found a wedding harpist that can play the Jurassic Park, and Legend of Zelda Great Fairy themes, so obviously she's getting hired.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

I don't understand why patients seeing their GP f2f are demanding the GPs tell them why they're not. My dude, you're in the f2f appointment...

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

During the twilight hours, the infant thrombus can often be seen frolicing upon tiny valvular trampolines. Witnessing this in captivity is rare, but that makes it all the more breathtaking.

kazi ferdous

@fazalabul

3 years

Adorable 🥰 baby thrombus

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Imagine being objectively SHITTER than Matt Hancock. We really are up against it, aren't we?!

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Boomer medics: It was much harder in our day. Suck it up snowflakes. Also boomer medics: I will die if I see a woman's knees.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Personal trainer: So what are your end goals in the gym? Function? Strength? Aesthetic? Me:

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Told a dude that his pacemaker was in very good working order today, and he laughed in my face before saying "yeah whatever mate", and I don't know what he meant by it.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

@ShammaBoyarin It's impossible to have bad music if you've got one good song, and all the others sound exactly the same as it.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Me: I'll squeeze in one more quick PPM assessment on the ward before I go. The PPM: Failure to pace, some VT, and a sprinkle of probable VF. This is why people cry.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

4 years

Really starting to miss the classics, like norovirus.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

AHAHAHAHA I PASSED MY ESC EXAM 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Wedding payments day today

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

This is a terrible, terrible way to manage a team:

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

19 days

Now that the "protest" here obviously isn't going as planned I'm seeing a lot of "Bristol's a shit hole anyway" talk, like a drunk slagging off a bar AFTER they've been refused service. Go home. I'm sure you've got families to disappoint.

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@bobbybalmoral

3 years

I, a man in his mid 30s, got asked to stop giggling in a meeting today, because someone sneezed and it sounded exactly like a chihuahua barking. No regrets.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

7 years

@Cobratate I'd be amazed if medical science could even hope to come back to this concrete "proof"

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Patient today fought against me for his entire scan, literally doing the opposite of what I asked when I asked for it. I asked if everything was ok, or if I could do anything to make it a bit easier, and he said "no it's ok mate, I just don't really want to be here" 😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

A woman behind me in the canteen queue tapped me on the shoulder, asked if I was waiting, and when I said "yes", replied "can I just go first?" and walked in front of me. I actually admire the absolute brass neck on her.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Happy 1st of December you animals

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

A US doc posted a photo of his helicopter, and is now kicking off because people gave him some stick for it, when they don't understand he only paid the LOWER end of the $100-500k price bracket. This place is incredible 😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Imagine stating that "junior docs are bullies" before launching into a solid stream of bullying and still thinking you have the moral high ground.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Trying to arrange delivery of some patio slabs, and this is what I'm up against:

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

@TharushaGunawa4 @StrangerNews11 @almirondesign Imagine not letting him change his awful hair for all these years, and then doing him in in the final series 😂

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

Lots of "do I HAVE to wear my mask when you're doing the scan?" today, as though my clinic room is the Vatican City of the trust, and not subject to the same policies as the hospital that surrounds it 🙄

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

"Hello sir, could I interest you in 'gettingmesomefuckenfood'?"

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

3 years

"KEEP THE BLADDY NOISE DAAHN AHT THERE. MY 'USBAND'S BIN ON NOIGHTS"

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

"nan down" is a close second.

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Got these fondant lads in the oven 🔥

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Christopher

@bobbybalmoral

2 years

Does anyone else have a nemesis at work? Like, is there someone on another department that's essentially the Joker to your Batman (or Batman to your Joker, you evil bastard) who keeps periodically cropping up to make life that little bit more difficult?

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