Sanjib @baawraekraag Twitter profile

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

this morning, maa plucked some hibiscus flowers while dressed like one herself

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

in my hometown, there’s no cinema hall, we have to travel 40km to watch a movie. mostly because of this, maa hasn’t seen a movie in a hall for ages. today, we both went to watch one. she posed for photos, watched the movie, and seemed quite happy. ah, i live for these moments

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

one of my professors said this to me a day before the exam, and now i can't stop thinking about it, haha

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

"earlier she used to be busy with her kitten, training and feeding them. now that they are going outside on their own, she just sits here like this all day, probably thinking about them. she is just like me." maa then laughed and left. i am still processing what maa just said.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

i think NTA is one of the worst things that has happened to the indian education system. today was NTA's first attempt at organizing the NET examination offline, and everything was so poorly managed at the center that it had us in a panic before even entering the exam hall

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

12 days

whenever i leave home, maa gets very emotional. yesterday i looked into her eyes-they were moist. i knew if i hug her, she would end up crying, so i simply said, 'aahu.' she glanced at me for a moment, gave me a kiss on my forehead, said, 'xunkale aahiba' (do come soon). i cried

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

my niece calls miku her best friend, and when miku doesn't respond to her she often feels let down by their friendship. it seems friendship can be difficult sometimes :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

a calm saturday morning, it's raining outside, maa is washing clothes and playing with miku while i'm documenting things and making breakfast for the three of us. life is good today.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

the centres where it was conducted didn't even have any facilities to keep our belongings. they gave us exam centres in far-off places and expected us to come only with an admit card, without bringing any bags(?)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

'queer' not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it & that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live ~bell hooks happy pride month <3

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

not applying for phd this year cause many of us don't know how to write a research proposal or approach a research idea. we can seek help from others, but that's not the point. I wish we had an mphil prog. we plan to pursue academia, hardly aware of research methodologies. sigh!

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

when we asked where to keep our bags, mobile phones etc, they asked why we didn't bring anyone to take care of our belongings. i don't understand why people don't realize that not everyone's parents could accompany them and wait outside the exam centre until we finished our exam

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

let's not talk about them not allowing water bottles and then not having any drinking water facility at the centre even the invigilators hardly had any idea about their responsibilities. when students asked questions about the OMR sheet or q.booklet, they seemed rather confused

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

20 days

maa came to my room, asked me to translate something into english. when i did, she smiled "my son knows english." she continued, "when others sent their kids to english medium schools, i prayed for the same. then you got into navodaya. i was so happy." she teared up this morning

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

WHAT THE HELL!!!!! are they kidding me? is this real or some reality show going on that every day they come up with some new twist? i feel like crying. i am done with this, not gonna to appear this time. (bina net ke PhD me admission de do koi, please)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

there was so much anxiety because of the poorly managed system. if they are switching the medium from computer to pen paper, there should have been more preparation. this lack of management was utter nonsense and only created chaos in the name of exam

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

After a lot of arguments, they told us to keep them in some room and said, 'you're keeping them here at your own risk; we are not accountable for them.' okay, understandable, but how can one concentrate on the exam when you are told this right before entering the exam hall?(haha)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

8 months

it feels like i'm watching 'ram ke naam' by patwardhan live

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

brother is sending me photos from kerala, with the text, 'trying to take photos like you do. it's a nice feeling, though.' i saw the pictures, and i can sense how much love he has put into them

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

i’ve never been organized, my table usually shows my mental state, & right now, it’s a total mess. i want to study for the exam, read books that have been on my list forever, and finish the second draft of the script that’s due in ten days. but, i can't seem to get anything done

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

i think adulting is never about meeting new people and making friends, but rather about those times when you feel helpless and wish to talk to someone, only to realize that there's no one in your contact list you feel comfortable calling to share your thoughts with

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

every time i open or post something on instagram, i end up feeling sad and wanting to cry for no reason. everyone on there overwhelms me; it’s just too much. i don't like anything about that app. people there feel so familiar yet so distant to me

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

being a history student outside the university campus is scary. kahin se koi bhi aayega and ask, 'you're a history student, right? Shivaji ka date of birth batao?'

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

my brother wanted to adopt a dog. then they came home, and now we're obsessed with them miku and yamuna in a frame

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

maa says the common thing between miku and me is that we both like marie biscuits

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

22 days

they asked, 'how's your day going?' i told them about the rain and sent this video - that’s how i’m passing my days

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

she did all these weird pretty things with my hair, then named me 'bonkunwar'

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

6 months

flowers for me, flowers for the new beginning, flowers for all the courage i have gathered, and flowers for all the time i didn't give up

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

this morning, i woke up with uncertainties, and the weather certainly isn't helping. it’s all about preparing my mind to start the whole thing again.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

across the table, you will either find me smoking or being awkward; in either case, there will be flowers for you

lex in tx

@alexissTyler

3 months

show me a picture of you from across the table looking pretty

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

i often stay silent when my peers in college or at the office used to discuss childhood fantasy series like harry potter and any other western children's tales. i've been teased; they were shocked when i mentioned that i haven't seen or read them

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

sitting on the verandah with a cup of tea, so much work to do, but how can i miss this rain and my joba drenching in it?

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

woke up thinking about how my meds are causing massive hair loss. then google aunty had to show me this picture from three years ago. great, now i'm even more insecure. pls send me suggestions to reduce hair fall(?) i don't like the idea of being bald

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

it was a shitty day, but she showed up while I was having lunch. it brightened my mood. we shared chicken, and then she left :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

from a student who desperately seeks answers and alternatives

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

spivak is a mood I am doing anything but studying for exam

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

today was all about observing the cats who chose to settle at our home

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

'will you go out with me to pick up some flowers?'

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

8 months

today dilli feels familiar yet so distant. it's as beautiful and unbearable as it was a few months ago. but i suppose i have nothing here to crave for, i have lost interest in it, and as i click this photo, i am wondering what was it about dilli that used to keep me intrigued

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

today i found my old diaries from class 5 & 6. back then, whenever something went wrong, i wrote that it was probably god punishing me for having feelings for people of the same sex. it’s sad that i was made to think this way and believe that admiring someone like that was wrong

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

last time i had a crush on someone, i sent them a postcard with a poem, anonymously (creepy). they received it, post a story on insta thanking the person who wrote that poem. i never told them it was me. i blocked them and moved on. that's how i deal with my emotions - i escape

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

my morning is all about reading gariyoshi in the winter sun and getting food delivery from my borma's place

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

this day was all about thinking about @bairiechain and our friendship. last five years, we spent a few days of every season together. when i lacked the courage to face the world, she held my hand and showed me there is a world for me too...

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

yaar baccho ko kyu trauma de rahe ho, hatao yaar yeh CUET, 12th ke marks se hi admission de do. this boy called me up, told me how he probably won't get into anywhere and now he has to take a gap year and do coaching(?) for cuet. these students are too young to deal with this

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

4 months

one thing i miss a lot about dilli's summer is the amaltas that i see everywhere. it makes the city full of yellows, but at the end of the day, it remains in my memory as a city of extremes (no offence)

Neha Sinha

@nehaa_sinha

4 months

A rebellion against the heat. Look, I can survive. Amaltas. Asola.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

my mother and i spend most of our time together when i am home. we talk, cook, and make short videos together. here is one of them (since this tweet is getting attention, i thought of sharing it :')

Sanjib Kalita (@sanjibkalita_) • Instagram reel

www.instagram.com

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

23 days

today, my trainer told me he hadn’t expected me to have this much strength. perhaps this strength comes from being in a boys' hostel since the age of 10, making myself 'strong' enough to fight off all the bullies who targeted me simply because i was different

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

my parents are going on a trip at the end of this month, and they have already started packing. every day, my father brings new things for the trip. today, he brought two pairs of salwar kameez for my mother. she has never worn them before. so excited they are :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

tomorrow i wish to wake up and hear the good news, which will be good for me, good for us. i don't know, but even if there is little chance, i don't wish to lose hope yet. for the first time, for this night, i wish to believe in a miracle. i am praying for a miracle tomorrow.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

since my childhood, she has been preparing me to attend the pride parade, so nothing was in my hands :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

either you are a cat person or a cat; there is no in-between

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

together we could go for a walk, i'll bring something for us both to drink; a bouquet of rajanigandha and a playlist for the walk back. you bring your stories

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

4 months

last midnight, i saw this post that said, 'in twenty years, you would give everything to be this age.' so, i left all my work and impulsively decided to visit cherrapunji. and here i am, not regretting tho :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

anywhere you run in this world, love will be there to greet you

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

23 days

coming from the namghor, maa handed me a laddu (made of rice flour) and said, 'tumar priyo'. it's the beginning of 'bhado' month, in my childhood, i used to run to the namghar every evening just to eat this. as i take each bite now, i think of the things i often forget to embrace

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

28 days

i feel intimidated by people who are seen as 'prestigious' or 'influential' in society. my cousin is getting married into a family that’s seen as prestigious in our town. they’ve been visiting us lately, and every time they come over, i get this strange feeling

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

center for hindu studies inaugurated with a 'hawan' in du? and here i am compelled to read about hedgewar, savarkar, the works of golwalkar, and some rakesh sinha just to clear a stupid exam to get into academia? so pointless & messed up. nothing surprises me these days ugh

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

9 months

oh, i miss dilli's winter, i would have been on the streets in the evening, draping my naga shawl and having chai with my friends

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

in my old diary, i came across this note i wrote when i was 19. four years later, i still feel the same haha, i am scared of everything...

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

9 months

it's raining here. after almost six months of wasting my time over an exam, today i don't find any purpose of waking up. woke up late, not feeling like eating or doing anything. it's just a sad, a bit cold, and a lonely day. guwahati has hardly been kind to me.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

it's raining cats and dogs here, and on my way back from the gym, i decided to drench myself completely. life is too short, at least for me (haha), to miss out on this rain. people waiting under sheds looked at me like i was crazy.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

9 months

some people's whole personality is that they studied in delhi university

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

16 days

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

just realized, those who were good at studies in school or college are the ones more insecure about their lives now

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

this person, some months ago, beat his wife and forced her out of the house. now, because he is suffering from jaundice, she has been brought back to take care of him. everyone is calling her an 'adarsho naari,' praising her for being so understanding and kind(?)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

tired of reading queer thinkers who present a very politically correct image of queerness. the queerness i am aware of has never been this correct & polite. It is messy to the point where it becomes hard to digest. we need thinkers who acknowledge this and think along these lines

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

20 days

when i say that writing and speaking in english is a privilege, people often shrug it off. i’ve been mocked for not speaking the language as well as others; i’ve been othered in spaces where people express themselves in english while i fumble and hesitate.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

not a fan of cricket, but i hope INDIA wins in 2024

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

20 days

thoughts, efficiency, and experience are all questioned if someone can’t speak or write the language properly. i cried, and still do, fearing i won’t get anywhere because my command of the language is poor, and i struggle to think and speak in it.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 month

i could have been a good athlete, a good writer, a good student, or a good artist, but the issue is i excel at procrastination, so here i am

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

for them, it's a basic cultural experience that everyone has, but they are unaware that it wasn't accessible to me and many others like me. i used to feel bad when people asked, 'how could you miss such basic things?'

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

my uncle just said i'm the last person he wishes to talk to. when I asked, 'why?', he replied 'that's why.' cause I question your decisions? you can't just expect me to remain silent when you plan the marriage of my 22-year-old cousin without her consent. I am so frustrated rn

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

i wish i could have explained that what was basic for them was a luxury for me because i didn't understand the language, and it wasn't widely available in my space. i still struggle with the language.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

some of them don't even have the required degrees. someone who has read child development their entire life, how are they going to teach sociology? i don't understand

Rituparna Patgiri

@Rituparna37

1 year

If you are still expressing shock at what happened in IP College, you are really living under a rock. Just check out the profiles of the people who have been recruited. We had no chance. This was never about merit anyway.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

october ended on a good note (last day of the month with ipu)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

october, for me… for me, october is so much more than shiuli or the film 'october'. it reminds me of the excitement of picking shiuli from our yard early in the morning, something I used to always look forward to. (1/n)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

I'm counting down the days to december, not for the UGC NET, but to see Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal as lovers on the screen :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

when there is nothing going on in your life, you can just wake up and decide if the day will be good for you. today, i woke up with a pretty good mood. the weather is also in my favour. i think it would be a great day. okay, bye

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

it's a 'privilege' that i gained access to their world in my teenage years or now; otherwise, people from my background can never imagine hanging out with those whose lives were surrounded by english comics or fantasy series

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

13 days

till now, NTA has canceled two re-NET papers. with what motivation am i supposed to sit for tomorrow's paper? this is such a shitshow ugh

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

20 days

my mother will never know how this language has made me feel in those spaces - the bubble and privilege it creates are real, and one cannot escape them.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

7 months

i came to the cinema hall to watch an assamese movie. at the ticket counter, the person said, 'you're the only one who came to watch this movie. thanks, but we can't screen it. we are refunding your ticket price.' :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

8 months

ghosting (and soon blocking) all the people who are trying to give me anxiety about the ugc net result. i hardly care about it now. please don't make my life more miserable; i am already on the verge of breaking down. please :')

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

i bought this flower a few days ago, just to feel good and alive while looking at it, but it decided to die on a day when i needed it the most

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

8 months

it's been almost seven months since i left dilli and now i'm starting to feel like i might never see my friends again. it's hard to accept. i'm here, missing them and missing dilli. i count on having them, but do i? this distance is weighing on me, knowing it will always be there

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

this is so funny hajhabsgsnhshs

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

another day of people asking, 'why did you take history if you're not applying for upsc?'

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

today @niyoror_xubaax brought me to the place he always wanted me to visit. i took pictures of him, he clicked the flowers

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

23 days

i gathered all the 'strength' i could to fight. now as i think about it, i’m proud of my younger self for protecting me, but i hope for a world where no queer person needs to gather 'strength' or become physically 'strong' just to protect themselves. it’s cruel, sad and ...

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

this is what we need in pride parades. pride is about claiming, creating & voicing space for 'others.' attend pride, voice for palestinians, address manipur violence, stand for queer lives. spread love not only through free kisses or hugs but also by discussing injustice

Shambhavi Sharma

@sshambhavii

10 months

Preparations towards Delhi Pride march tomorrow. Queers Against Genocide! Free Palestine!

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

4 months

i like how people of this generation are crazy about a certain elite aesthetic. they all seem quite identical, from the songs they listen to and the movies they watch, to the people they admire. sometimes i wonder if they'll have anything of their own left. (i'm no different)

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

from now on I don't think I have the guts to switch on any fan in the world

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

2 months

this society is so messed up, i can't stand seeing this anymore. i tried talking to people around (my uncle, to be specific), but oh boy, i was called unemployed (which i am) and told that if i have nothing to do, i should sleep and stop interfering in other people's matters

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

4 months

working on this film in the last few months, i've realised how important self-promotion is. i mean, no one cares until you show them. if you don't promote yourself and remain shy, then this fast-paced world will leave you behind(?) ugh

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

25 days

oh i like the audacity of these men who sexualize and objectify women all the time, yet now think that putting up a story makes them any less a part of the problem

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

3 months

with everything happening in the education system and students suffering from disappointment, i often think about my queerness. being queer and having to stay at home until i clear the exam and get into somewhere is killing me inside.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

1 year

talked to a friend who is working in uk. when i asked him how his job was going, he replied "i keep questioning if this is what I need." he sounded sad. i couldn't help but think about our first day of college when we were confused but happy. oh no, we are growing up, i hate this

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

10 months

yes, attend the delhi pride tomorrow and witness some fancily dressed cis gay men saying, "omg, why are you using the Jai Bhim slogan? isn't bhim a hindu god? are you an rss person?"

delhiqueerpride

@delhiqueerpride

10 months

See you all on Sunday, November 26! At 12pm, Delhi Queer Pride 2023 will begin from the Tolstoy Marg -Barakhamba road intersection and ends at Jantar Mantar at 5pm The closest metro station is Barakhamba, Gate No. 3.

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

17 days

nobody will remember: - what history is - why you are in history - what changes you made in society people have to remember: - shivaji ke mammi ke pita ka naam kya hai

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Sanjib

@baawraekraag

11 months

I wrote this review essay for @guwahatiplus . I emphasize how 'Tora's Husband' is beyond @rimadasFilm 's usual storytelling, how the narrative challenges the societal construction of identity, & how Das presents the clashes between social, economic & medical aspects of the pandemic

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