Suman Biswas ♬🩺 Profile Banner
Suman Biswas ♬🩺 Profile
Suman Biswas ♬🩺

@amateursuman

11,574
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2,007
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Anaesthetist. Vocalist, lyricist, pianist, formerly ½ of Amateur Transplants (London Underground Song etc - I used to be your ringtone). Solo album!

wearing PPE
Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
And they say Germans have no sense of humour... German newspaper headline written in English in a German accent! #brexit
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
13 years
DELETED SCENE FROM ALIENS: "I can't open the milk!" "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream."
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Converting the ExCel venue into a massive critical care hospital is very impressive. Just ironic that they didn’t use The O₂.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
6 years
Medical student was very pleased to be allowed to scrub in for surgery ...so I put my hand up for a high five ...and now he needs to go & scrub up all over again 😈
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
We made a new tiny human! World, meet Pandora Biswas!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
I wanted to write a Haiku, But I wrote a Limerick in lieu. The Limerick's strength? It's the same length As Haiku 1 plus Haiku 2.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
Today’s quiz: Jeremy Hunt or Arnold Rimmer?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
8 years
Best one I've seen so far! ( #JuniorDoctorsStrike placard, I mean!)
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
In costume at work just while at lunch - Happy #WorldBookDay !
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
@TeaAndCopy At work, typing “808” into a calculator, then handing it to a random colleague saying “It’s for you - it’s Bob”
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
12 years
DELETED SCENE FROM ALIENS: "I can't open the milk!" "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream."
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
@MeltdownWRIF Define “personally”. Regularly looked after a total of fifty ICU patients in the last couple of months, but most of them weren’t that chatty.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
13 years
Roses are red, Violets are red, Everything's red: Retinal haemorrhage.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
The UK & US names Paracetamol & Acetaminophen were created by selecting different sections from the same chemical name PARA-ACETYLAMINOPHENOL; ie. 🇬🇧 PARAaCETylAMinophenOL vs. 🇺🇸 paraACETylAMINOPHENol
@MedCrisis
Medlife Crisis (Rohin)
5 years
What are the best words in medicine? I don't mean like "cured" or "home", I mean etymologically, phonetically or with an interesting back story? I'll start with a few favourites that come to mind...
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
1 year
Why is working overtime mentioned as a perk for junior doctors? Anyone can earn more by working more hours, no? Except JDs get very little say over which anti-social hours they’re expected to work…
@CarverEmily
Emily Carver
1 year
I'm not against doctors being paid more. But worth noting, this £14 an hour figure is only for a newly graduated doctor's first year in the job, it equates to £29k a year and then continues to go up. You can also earn more doing overtime/ weekend / night shifts, I believe.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
I’ve fixed your headline for you @guardian : “NHS cancer scans left unread for weeks because of understaffing Tax penalties force doctors to stop covering the gaps”
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
1 year
I do not do private work, and I don’t have a six-figure salary. I would like to be paid fairly for the work that I do now, not based on what SOME doctors might be able to earn further down the line. How is that unreasonable, @SteveBarclay ?
@transkeidoctor
Tom Kemp
1 year
@ShaunLintern @SteveBarclay I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING SIX FIGURE SALARY OR ANY PRIVATE WORK, AND WHILE MY DECISION TO TRAIN AS A DOCTOR WAS A VOCATION IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG AND FRANKLY DAMAGING ROAD TO AN EXTREMELY TAXING CONSULTANT ROLE, WHICH I DON'T RESENT BUT WHICH SHOULD BE REMUNERATED APPROPRIATELY. FFS
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
♫ It’s a drug we’re testing out To tackle COVID-19 Paracet- hydroxychlorobendrozithromicin ♬
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
Surgeon asks for a sandbag (to help position the patient). “A SANNNNND-BAAAAAG??‽” says I. . Nothing. . . Philistines....
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
In case of Emergency, meet here and sing Bohemian Rhapsody
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
1 year
Found these drug syringe stickers when I was tidying my desk. Can’t think what I was possibly keeping them for… 😏
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
If, for whatever reason, you’d be interested in hearing @susie_dent saying the word “fuck” again & again & again, you really should listen to episode 3
@GylesB1
Gyles Brandreth
5 years
This is our new podcast. Out today. Me and @susie_dent from @SomethinElse . It’s all about swearing, FFS.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
6 years
@drandrewmackay The word 🚁 gets its name from Helico- ("spiral", eg. Helicobacter) + Pter- ("wing", eg. Pterodactyl). It's not Heli-Copter, it's Helico-Pter!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 months
Since the double-act folded ~13 years ago, Adam plus our regular warm-up guys Paul Sinha & Mike Wozniak have all gone on to become household names. Meanwhile, I once almost hosted a TV series but the pilot clashed with a Consultant interview... (I lost out on both jobs😔)
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
Could we perhaps lockdown a bit earlier this time? Maybe BEFORE the NHS gets completely overrun, all of Planned Care gets shut down, and thousands more die of a disease they needn’t have caught? Just an idea…
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Unwinding after weekend night shifts by recording an old song of mine!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
8 months
• Suturing the central line; • Using a nice pen to chart the BP/HR/etc readings; • Feeling the spinal needle “give” & knowing you’re going to see CSF; • Sitting down at last; • Complimenting a colleague; • Being the very first person to wish a newborn Happy Birthday.
@veggieequallife
Dr Tanya
8 months
A wise soul said to me "If you actually like the most mundane stuff in your line of work/speciality, then you know you actually love what you do." Doctors, what's the seemingly 'boring' thing in your speciality that actually secretly brings you bliss?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
If you aren’t following it, the problem with the 1% pay rise offer for NHS consultants is NOT about the relative value of OTHER peoples’ work. Because the Govt is not simply looking at a finite pot of money and wondering who deserves it the most. 1/4
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Just learnt that a surgeon I worked with in my first Anaesthetic job, many years ago, died recently. I remember that every single time he asked for antibiotics, he would say: “Can you give the patient something expensive beginning with “Cef-“?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 months
I’m surprised - but also v.flattered - that I’ve recently become quite popular on OnlyFans. Lots of attention for my old videos. It might be because the other guy in the vids is a celebrity now But it’s my throat doing all the work - so perhaps I deserve more of the credit…
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Can’t believe that in this day & age, scrubs are still being labelled like this
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
@SeosQuinn @MichaelRosenYes @ClarkeMicah Doctor here. On my ICU we fight our hardest to save every patient, regardless of their underlying health conditions, age, gender or ethnicity. And people like YOU who do not take this disease seriously are responsible for it spreading so widely. Welcome to the real world.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
@brillfish Does Frank have any military connections? eg. to Major Haemorrhage or General Malaise...?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Sadly the time has come to delete all my emails from 15ᵗʰ November 2016, the day when a single test message was sent to every NHS email address by accident, but then HUNDREDS of people Replied All with messages like this:
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
THE GOVT SAYS DO NOT PANIC-BUY FACEMASKS. ALSO, DO NOT PANIC-WEAR FACEMASKS AROUND OTHER PEOPLE. Right, that ought to do it…
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
12 years
Roger Daltrey wrote a Doctor Who Guide for WorldHealthOrg medics. It's called "The Who's WHO Dr's Dr Who Who's Who"
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
10 years
Surprising my wife with a theatre trip. I *really* hopes she likes musicals about people pretending to be cats.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
💔
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
1 year
@souramoo @liz_watret It’s actually for 173hrs/month salaried work plus ??hrs of unpaid overtime for: •overrunning clinical work, •studying for exams, •preparation of material for Teaching, •Audit, •Quality Improvement, etc
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Now that we’re past the peak of infections in the UK, if you’re wondering when this will all be over, think of the pandemic as the Marvel Comic Universe and we’re ⅔ of the way through Iron Man 1.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
🙄
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
It wouldn’t be right to offer the caption “Fibber/Nazi Sequence”
@ellardent
Andrew Ellard
5 years
What an utterly miserable array of choices.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
Just back from an awesome, month-long family holiday in Australia, starting a new Consultant job tomorrow, jet-lagged & opening Christmas cards now! Happy New Year everyone!!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
SALPINGOOOPHORECTOMY - purely because you pronounce each of the THREE “o”s individually! Meaning “surgical removal of Fallopian tube and Ovary”, its etymology breaks down to “taking out, through a hole, the Trumpet and the Egg-Maker”
@MedCrisis
Medlife Crisis (Rohin)
5 years
What are the best words in medicine? I don't mean like "cured" or "home", I mean etymologically, phonetically or with an interesting back story? I'll start with a few favourites that come to mind...
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
@WelshGasDoc Intense night shift on Labour Ward; finally managed to trudge away to the on-call room around 4am to lie down, nauseous & broken. Woken by bleep only a few mins later, so groggy. Midwife had lost her pen - wondered if I’d seen it. I had not.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
12 years
One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
6 years
In the last hour I’ve seen three instances of colleagues going above & beyond, purely because they recognised they could make someone else’s life better by doing something that they did not need to do. Reminds me why I love this job. The people.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
Since when did we have to publish a long thread of tweets every time we simply support a colleague...? 🙄
@gradydoctor
Kimberly D. Manning, MD
5 years
1/ “Can I run something by you?” It was Saturday. I was already gone. She was still on the ward. I didn’t respond to that text. Instead, I called her directly. Me: “Hey.” Her: “I’m so sorry to bother you, Dr. Manning.” Me: “Never be sorry.” *silence* Me: “I’m all ears."
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
6 years
Could not figure out why I’ve been humming Shake It Off to myself all afternoon. Then remembered a patient I’d seen who had a broken ankle with “talar shift”.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
Covid’s coming home
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
Roses are red Violets are blue So is the patient Call 2222 #gasvalentines
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
10 years
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
11 years
IT'S CARNAGE OUT HERE! ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE! Managed to hit 3 so far with my car. And a vampire. And Batman.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
@richardosman These products often don’t work as advertised…
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
They call it “BNF for Children” but there are still loads of really difficult words in it
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
So, er... when the upcoming lockdown ends and everyone goes mad with festive shopping & celebrating and then getting together for Xmas, should we expect lockdown number three around... February 2021?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
If you’re struggling to understand why 40&50-year old doctors don’t want to take on extra work on top of their full-time contracts any more, pls read my last few RTs. (Spoiler alert: it’s because UK tax law changed; they‘d need to pay back even more in tax than they would earn)
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
I wonder if rolling into the Consultant car park with the radio playing Smack My Bitch Up goes against the Trust Values...
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
2 years
Interesting chest x-ray. Worrying the number of people calling tension pneumothorax purely because there is tracheal shift though. What do you SEE?
@EM_RESUS
Sam Ghali, M.D.
2 years
Here’s an impressive Chest X-Ray of a 50 year old man who presented to the ER with shortness of breath What’s the diagnosis?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
6 years
@medicalaxioms Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin & any four others 😂
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
2 years
It’s true what they say, being an Anaesthetist is just like being a Pilot. I landed an Airbus A320 today.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
9 years
Q: How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Perfect
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
The differences in how people deteriorate and die from cancer, chronic illness and frailty via @psirides #dasSMACC
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 months
I made a mistake in my previous tweet, sorry. Not OnlyFans. I mean TikTok
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 months
@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
In costume at work just while at lunch - Happy #WorldBookDay !
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
2 years
No-one talking about Wordle this morning. Is today’s word BRUNO?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Daughter demanded Peppa Pig Pasta for lunch. Turns out she wanted pasta shapes. Not carbonara.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
If we’re not having a second referendum, how about we confirm how many of the original 17.4m are still alive compared to the 16.1m, and update the government’s mandate accordingly?
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
10 years
It's one for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, Four to hear the options again, Or hold & you'll be put through to an operator
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Hey, the ENT surgeon is trying to get hold of you.
@kambabe
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
10 years
Someone's been going round Putney doing this to the No Entry signs http://t.co/UQkdpjAxKp
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
10 years
Roses are red, Violets are red, Everything's red: Retinal haemorrhage. #rosesarered #ValentinesDay
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Yes!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
In my first junior doctor job, MY OWN BOSS once carelessly introduced me to another consultant as “Semen” and I didn’t feel I could talk back to correct them. Can anyone beat that?
@ericabuist
Erica Buist
4 years
Erica Bust.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
I’m today’s Anaesthetic Senior Supervising Hospital Operations & Liaison for Emergencies
@drrob22
Rob Martin
4 years
Similar to the Cardiologist of the Week (leaving us non-cardiologists asking "who is the COW?" whenever we enter CCU) we will now be having the Geriatrician Of the Day....
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
8 years
Remember: GO TO HOSPITAL IF YOU NEED. Non-essential work has been cancelled so consultants can run a normal service for all emergencies.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
I was greeted with a banner this morning! #Vasectomy
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
2 years
@BBCDoctors
BBC Doctors
4 years
From today's episode - starring Joe Pasquale and Joe Pasquale! Watch the whole programme now on iPlayer:
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
1 year
PUT THAT BACK!
@OGdukeneurosurg
Oren Gottfried, MD
1 year
Such a powerful structure to hold in one’s hand.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
Confession: Until now, I hadn’t listened to our Xmas album “Have Yourself A Sweary Christmas” since @amateuradam & I released it in 2010. It’s *really* good, and I’m very proud of it!
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
ULTRATSOUND
@flyrainbowcorn
Rainbow Corn
3 years
RAT ULTRASOUND
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
What if the Govt’s plan, to bring elderly retired doctors back into hospitals to deal with Coronavirus, is just a way to reduce the number of living doctors claiming a pension...? 🤔
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
Enduring new hospital Induction again today, hopefully for the final time. Highlights include Security Officer saying “If you notice a suspicious package, please do NOT pick it up and bring it to my office”.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
To be clear, “peak in hospital admissions” only means that every day, even more people have been admitted to hospital than on the day before until now Tens of thousands more are still going to be admitted. Thousands more people will die in weeks to come. THIS IS FAR FROM OVER.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
@startle65 <Attenborough voice> The SHO, by, spraying the consultant, has marked him, as their own. For the rest of the day, the other juniors, will sniff the consultant, and then, turning tail, hunt for WPBAs, elsewhere.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Only 28 sleeps til Virusmas
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
9 years
Anaesthetists everywhere, here are the Difficult Sudoku Society's 2009 guidelines (via @AAGBI ) http://t.co/EzXJPlDzTe
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Suman Biswas ♬🩺
2 years
@jameshannah If my memory of school Maths is correct…
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Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
We are no good at striking. We know patients would be the ones who’d suffer most & we don’t want that. So are looking at how to make a stand but with least inconvenience to sick patients. Because otherwise we keep letting the Govt devalue us. 4/4
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
5 years
@ellenmaryg Fiddle with the radio, Change the CD...
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
@SmoothRegulator @noodles_nood As in: antibacterials, antifungals, antivirals, Noradrenaline, Steroids, Potassium Chloride, etc. And also insertion of a urinary catheter, nasogastric tube, bowel management system, central venous access, endotracheal tube (or tracheostomy), etc.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
4 years
Postpone death
@JeremyCom
Jeremy Padawer
4 years
Poorly explain what you do for a living.
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
7 years
Took my baby daughter to one of my gigs for the first time, and she's learnt to swear already...
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
3 years
The Govt has considered NHS consultants’ current salary, which has already lost 30% of its value over the last 10 years due to inflation, and faced with the opportunity to let our salary catch up a bit, instead decided that they WANT it to fall further behind inflation. 3/4
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@amateursuman
Suman Biswas ♬🩺
11 years
Roger Daltrey wrote a Doctor Who Guide for WorldHealthOrg medics. It's called "The Who's WHO Dr's Dr Who Who's Who"
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