Alistair Canlin @alcanlin Twitter profile

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

8 years

Some words that were spinning round my head spewed out and ended up in #Twisted50 Get your copy #amwriting #horror

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

Why on earth is this irrelevant member of an irrelevant party still being given a platform to express his blinkered and backward views #marr

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 month

Are we forgetting Boris’ apartment? He shafted the country up the arse when he was in power #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 months

Political extremist given a massive platform by the BBC so that they can spout their hate to a wider audience #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

It’s Labour’s fault It’s COVIDS fault It’s Europe’s fault It’s your fault It’s everybody fault We’re fucking perfect The Tories are delusional and will destroy Britain #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

I’m all your nightmares at once, I’m an intelligent woman with a crucifix Sister Agatha is 2020’s first heroine #Dracula

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 months

#exitpoll predicts thirteen seats for Reform…. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ENGLAND???? #GeneralElection2024

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 month

“Look at my track record… I stood up to dictators…” Fool couldn’t even stand up to Boris Johnson #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

I still seethe with anger every time I see this man… what he’s done to Britain, the short sighted inward looking fearful nation that he’s responsible for creating #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

For what it cost to furnish Boris Johnson’s flat every life in Grenfell tower could have been saved #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 months

Please England don’t get scared Please England don’t loose your nerve Please England don’t drag everyone down with you Please England don’t vote Tory And please please please dear god England don’t vote Reform #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

“Why don’t we use the money from cancelled Christmas parties to help fund refugee charities?” One of the most humane thing ever said on Question Time… and Fiona Bruce quickly moves on allowing no response #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

“Boris did a lot of talking, but said nothing… “ Rosie Jones nails Boris Johnson, all bluff and bluster and zero content. Nothing but a crooked snake oil salesman #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

Television Show Idea: Williford & Cooper Investigate Willifre & Cooper investigate crimes against historical figures using a time machine that Cooper invented and hides in the basement of the university #UniversityChallenge

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

Viv contemplates killing Stephen for the 2,643rd time #RaceAcrossTheWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

That’s how you write a fucking finale! #HappyValley

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 months

A tetchy argumentative petty little man can’t admit he’s made a single mistake in government… Britain has become a small minded, backward looking, sad little nation under conservative rule #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

Asked about crime against women Boris Johnson replies “What we need to do is concentrate on real crime” His bumbling words are dangerous, and offensive to everybody #bbcbreakfast

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 months

According to the dinosaur Michael Howard looking after worker’s rights is a bad thing because it stops rich people making money #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 months

David Cameron the man who destroyed Britain on a whim, an act of petulance to appease the hateful side of his party, ane now that hateful side has a stranglehold on the nation… this weak man is responsible for it all #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

“We’ve only just turned the corner…” 14 years… 14 years of fucking desperate misery… and they want us to thank them for the last two months? Do they think we’re stupid? Their incompetence has ruined this country… ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! THE TORIES CAN FUCK OFF!! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

We have the second largest death toll in the world “Now is not the time to measure such things” THEN WHEN THE FUCK IS? THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT HAS FAILED THE BRITISH PEOPLE! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

Rose breaks my heart #TheSplit

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

10 months

He wants you… he needs you…. But he knows nothing about you… cares nothing for you… but he’s going to pretend… he’s going to lie… he’s going to bribe… he’ll sell you something that will never happen… and he expects you to fail for it… don’t #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 year

“We need more time…” You’ve had thirteen years!!! #BBCLauraK

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

Tax avoiding criminal given a massive platform by the BBC to smooth out his image while not once being questioned on his criminal activities #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 months

Still blaming Ukraine and a pandemic for the country’s woes, obviously nothing to do with their own inept incompetence #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

Audience member accuses Priti Patel and her ilk of being arrogant... her response.... to look arrogant #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

The awkward moment when Alfie realised that women can lie #RaceAcrossTheWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

A happy ending.... what a bloody delightful change!!! #TheNest

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

And the winner is… #Ireland #CrownTheWitch #BambieThug #Eurovision #Eurovision2024

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

The harbinger of hate given a platform to spout more of her hate and idiocy… Suella Braverman represents a Britain that I don’t recognise, and don’t really want to live in… a small minded, backward looking island of xenophobia #BBCLauraK

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

When Tosh knows you’re full of shite #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

It’s not Christmas until #CallTheMidwife has ripped out your heart, made you sob like a bairn, and then moments later makes you soar with happiness

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

“The motivation behind winning is winning” Alfie would kill every other contestant if he could #RaceAcrossTheWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 months

“I love my country” Woo Woo batshit crazy lunatic claims that Tory voters are on strike… that’s it it’s the voters fault, not your own parties crippling incompetency that is destroying the country #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

You’re naked it’s not your eyes they’re looking at This Nun is stealing the whole show #Dracula

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

Bonnie Greer’s reaction to Mail journalist discussing racism is more succinct than a thousand tweets #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

A lesson on how to destroy the government, just repeat to them what they actually did #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

10 months

“Because we’ve managed the economy responsibly…” He actually believes these lies!!! But worst of all, he actually believes that you believe his lies #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

“The NHS is a miracle!” Bonnie Greer dropping truth bombs #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

8 years

Was that you being a supportive boss? Yeah, any good? Bloody awful One of TVs best double-acts #broadchurch

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

The Cake Fridge… can there be any better place on earth? #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

11 months

Every compassionate person is Layla Moran right now listening to the noise coming out of Esther McVey #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

God I've missed this beautifully awkward duo #TheEndOfTheFxxxingWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

Racist defends racism by being racist #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

8 years

@lilyallen @realDonaldTrump

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

“We in Wales should follow Scotland...” To be honest the world would be a better place if we all did this #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

Can anybody explain to me how @EilishMccolgan has not been nominated for this year’s #BBCSPOTY ?!?!?!? She practically ran the distance of the moon and back this year #spoty

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

“We thought we could get away with letting children starve over the summer, but unfortunately we were caught” James Cleverly fails to say #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 years

Migrants = Humans http://t.co/Htqyg6sD2o

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

When you’re bored halfway through your performance and you decide to find out how the piano works #Eurovision

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

The nation listening to a Tory MP #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

@SusanCalman @keviclifton Could you get anymore British than a ballroom dancing contest disrupted by a storm called Ophelia #savekevin from #StormOphelia

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

The nation hearing yet more government lies #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 year

“It is not our policy to comment on intelligence” Because there is none in this government #BBCLauraK

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

Oh Barbara #callthemidwife

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 months

“He’s just spewing out stuff” Alan Cumming nails modern politics #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

The best thing about #KeepingFaith is that the characters are allowed time to breathe, to grow, to be real. You care for them, you care what happens to them. The whole thing is beautiful

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

“I would like fewer restrictions…” Not one single clap, not even a ripple, tumbleweed drifted across the studio #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

“The virus has lost its potency” Proclaims village idiot #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

I don’t care about the Ireland, give it back to them...👀 The ignorance of the little Englander is utterly terrifying! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

@MooseAllain As seen in Glasgow

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

We are all ⁦ @Bonn1eGreer ⁩ as she has to listen to Melanie Phillips witter on #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 months

“I want to save our country from Keir Starmer….” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Shameful pathetic name calling politics… it’s all they have left…. The Tories are finished #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

Laura: “There’s a question of principle here” Grant Shapps stares aimlessly into space… not a single clue what a principle is #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

“They’re not worried about the country, they’re just worried about their own jobs” Gina Miller nails the Tory Party’s position on Brexit perfectly #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

Seriously? Craig David is singing to the Queen about that week he pulled a girl and shagged her for a few days.... #Queensbirthdayparty

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

Blames strikes for ruining the NHS… yet strangely they seemed to make absolutely no effort to fix the industrial dispute #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

STOP SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER! SAYS WOMAN WHO CAN’T STOP SHOUTING!!!! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 year

@SoVeryBritish The Spy Who Had A Bit Of A Soft Spot For Margaret In Accounts But Didn’t Want To Say Anything Just In Case It Made Things Awkward

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

The voice of the British people #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

16 days

Total hypocrisy from the man whose party leader literally fucked the country up the arse while he was in power #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

16 days

“Stop selling the murdering bastards arms” Not an exact quote, but the feeling is identical #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

Can someone just hug me please #RaceAcrossTheWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

When you know there might be a queue at the cake fridge so you come prepared #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

Now that’s one hell of a backyard #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 months

Fraser Nelson no more speaks for Scotland than Jacob Rees-Mogg speaks for… well… me #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

The passion of Ed Miliband is almost uncontrollable #BBCLauraK

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 months

@colleenmmcg Dream of Bad Things

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

@SoVeryBritish Glasgow has turned up in a very flashy outfit, looking particularly gallus, and headed straight to the fridge and is drinking you out of house and home…. But you’re rather loving their banter

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

Somebody should sneeze in the studio and scare the shit out of them all #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 years

#callthemidwife can rip your heart apart with kindness

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

“We’ve followed the science every step of the way” Did you fuck! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

My eyes twitching like crazy, so I’m either having a stroke, or I really need my bed.... Romance #Shetland style

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

Timothy West doesn’t say a single thing in the entire scene… but he completely steals the whole thing… a superb actor #GentlemanJack

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

Martin Lewis trying his very best not to scream at the idiocy that surrounds him #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

So so disappointing that #Dracula lost its way in the end

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 years

Not so much a review of the papers, more a platform to Sarah Vine’s opinions on Boris’s underpants, foreigners stealing funding from Britain’s flood defences, and some inconsequential shit about the royals #marr

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 years

That awkward moment when you realise you've not gotten away with murder #HappyValley

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

9 years

I'm voting for her! #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

6 years

Every viewer during this series of #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

I read an article in the Daily Mail and it taught me everything I needed to know about international diplomacy #bbcqt

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

11 months

“I wouldn’t have used those words, but the sentiment…” A half hearted attempt at being a politician, Grant Shapps lets himself down as a human being again and again… the sooner the despicable cronies go the better #bbclaurak

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

5 months

A proper brother sister moment #RaceAcrossTheWorld

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

4 years

The real miracle of #TheAWord is how they all manage to get a perfect phone signal

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 year

It’s amazing what you can pick up from the middle aisle of Aldi #Germany #Eurovision #Eurovision2023

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

2 years

As the cases of sleaze grow more and more every day the government stooges that are put up in front of the media to defend the horror show that Boris Johnson’s government has become become more and more obscure #bbcbreakfast #torysleaze #borismustgo

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

7 years

Perez & Tosh, the best double act on television #Shetland

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

1 year

It’s sad that we still need David Attenborough to remind us how we are fucking up the planet… he must be so tired of repeating the same message again and again… one day we will listen… please god one day #PlanetEarth3

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Alistair Canlin

@alcanlin

3 years

“Europe should let us win Eurovision otherwise we won’t send our drunks over and shit on their beaches” #bbcqt

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