Forced my guy to book a therapy session after his breakup. He swore he was okay. Picked him up after the session because I was proud of him. The ride was quiet for the most part. When were almost at his crib, he held my hand and said, “Bro, anka girl noo ku me…”
I was at this wedding reception yesterday when one guy went into one of those 360 spinning photobooths, did an extremely violent gbese and kicked the camera. He owes the booth owner money now
I was at bloom yesterday when they brought a bill to the table next to me. Next thing I heard from that side was, “HEY, WHO TOOK HENNESSY!” E over them.
Ordered food that got delivered about 15 minutes ago when I was in meeting. Got out, realised it didn’t have my drink in it and called the delivery guy. Dude was quiet for a few seconds and said, “Boss, I want to be honest wiv you. I drank it.” Ah?
You watch Suits and think being a lawyer is all glam and tailored suits. Then you get called to the Ghanaian bar and before you realise, Aunty Rose is trying to pay you with yam.
My boys took me to Club Onyx to celebrate. Stepped out to make a call at the car park and a random dog started chasing me and didn’t stop till we got to Christ the King. Ah chale
I used to think I could never give up bread. My fitness trainer couldn’t get me to stop. Jesus couldn’t. You, my guy, have done the impossible. Thank you
@NAkufoAddo
.
Driving through Makola is crazy. I hit a guy a guy who just crossed the road out of nowhere. I thought he was hurt but he just relaxed on the bonnet and said he’d got off at the next junction
Heard on radio someone donated 20,000 face shields (that people did not buy, obviously) to a hospital. When asked why he’d made the donation, he started crying apparently, and said, ‘ɛnnyɛ bibiara enti o, papa yɛ na ɛyɛ me dɛ.’
Thing with covid is, you can’t even let your guard down just because you’re meeting one person you “trust”. That’s how I got it. Whoever you meet is the sum of whoever they’ve met
I just heard that somebody was caught stealing at Teshie. While people were swarming around him, a macho man showed up from nowhere, screamed ‘this no be Woors3!’ and gave him a dirty slap.
You hustle through the week, quietly taking on all life’s challenges…then when you gather a bottle or two on a Saturday, someone walks up to your table and says ‘you always dey chill.’
They always want to talk about the champagne but never the champ’s pain smh
Dzorwulu traffic police stops me. Greets nicely and proceeds with a safety tip. “Always anticipate a car in a curve. Don’t overtake on a bend; don’t assume there’s no car coming. Slowly drive in a pot-hole than swerve it on top speed” 🤝 I can’t believe this
@GhPoliceService
😅
They laid a nice route – the legon bypass – to join the haatso-atomic road and left out the last 100 meters to remind everyone that life can never get too comfortable in this Ghana place
Saw a video of Ibrahim Mahama playing golf. When he hit the ball, someone screamed, ‘Wow you’re the best. Wonders will never end.’ Then the rest of the guys started clapping. Wasn’t even a great shot. Lmaooo
🚨ICYMI🇬🇭✊🏾🗣️: President
@NAkufoAddo
has finally commented on the recent protests against galamsey and the arrest of anti-galamsey activists during an interview with
@FRANCE24
.
“I'm not responsible for jailing people in Ghana. The courts in Ghana are independent institutions,
You’re better off just telling your girl what you want for your birthday. One of my guys slack make ihn girl buy polo shirt with about 9 horses. We call him Red Dead Redemption to this day
#DNBP
I really thought Bawumia’s presidential candidacy was going to be laughed to scorn based on what we’re going through. The fact that he has massive support even blows my mind.
So I was stopped by an MTTU officer for running a red light. This dude sat in my passenger seat and had the audacity to tell me, ‘bra offender, sɔ wo a/c no kakra na wiemu ayɛ hye.’
As corrupt as Ghanaians think Ghana is, and as much as they complain about their taxes, they still pay them.
Because Ghana - while by no means a wonderful country - is at least a functional one.
The basic things actually work, and taxpayers see some value for their money.
We were both in school at Holborn on a Friday talking about how we’d give anything to eat omotuo that weekend. She sent me a snap of herself eating omotuo in Ghana that Sunday. She was back in London and in class on Monday.
Nowadays when police stop me, I just move my head a little so they see the wig and gown in the back. Then it’s brief silence…
Them: ‘Ei counsel!’
Me: ‘Ei aban!’
At the gym today, I was getting some reps in on the rear-delt machine when a macho man came over to ask if I was finishing soon. When I said no, this guy inched closer and tickled me. Ah?
People who don’t know how to mind their business in a gym really piss me off. I dey squat ridee some macho man come hold my ass dey scream, “clench your ass cheeks, clench them!” My evening all spoil
I feel bad for people like you. You spend your whole lives trying to please those in power, thinking they’ll throw you a scrap. But that’s all you’ll ever get—a meaningless crumb. To them that’s all your life is worth.
Let's have an honest and holistic conversation with
#StopGalamseyNow
. Let ask the critical questions. Elaborate on workable short to medium term solutions.
Truth is we can't hashtag our way out of a canker. We can't apply failed solutions.
We need solutions that bite!
I’m down for documenting this movement. An hour of videos, accounts and people articulating why we’re protesting. I’m willing to help with scripting and creative directing
#DNBP
#OccupyJulorbiHouse
The most annoying thing about companies that don’t even pay well is that they’ll use you till you can’t feel your back. 8-5, overtime here and there. The 5 sef you want go house then the boss dey clear ihn throat.
So my friend got edibles. She had some that morning and left the rest in the fridge. Big mistake. Krunked and barely awake, next thing she heard was “Temi, I’m possessed. The spirits are working. This is an unusual feeling!”
Same CID officers dusting for prints at mine when I got robbed. One of them got on the roof for no reason and somersaulted onto the ground (ah chale). That was the last time I heard from them though. Useless.
I remember when thieves broke into my house and we had to go pick up CID officers to come and "investigate". They came with digital camera to "capture fingerprint". Till today we no hear from them. But as for riot gear we get am in abundance. Wona priorities dey toss pass.
Silverbird packed over 100 people in a poorly ventilated lobby lit with disco lights, and threw in a DJ. Dude was even giving shoutouts and announcements. I can’t believe they put me through a Taifa nightclub experience before I could watch a movie that I paid for
Ghanaians stress me sometimes. Submitted a tender for a contract. Didn’t win. Fair. Why am I now being asked to help the person who won for a quarter of the fee?
My father once said there are very talented people among us who are doomed to fail because they have no one to help them. I disagreed at the time but I finally get him
Interviewed two Ghanaian legends,
@StephenAppiah
and Azumah Nelson for the Game Changers issue of the
@EMYAfrica
magazine. Can’t wait for you guys to see this one. Out next week! Photo by
@Gilbertasante
.
I find it so crazy that we’ve normalised political corruption in this country. We’ve even given it a monicker — national cake. I get that we’re laughing to cope but when you deep it, it’s actually very sad.
When they finally let the screen doors open, we had to push to get in. Damn near stampede. Someone randomly took off MY glasses and screamed ‘THIS IS SPARTA!’. Then I want mad
‘Fatherhood is by faith.’ My evidence law lecturer said 80% of his clients who’ve had DNA tests found out at least one of their kids wasn’t theirs. He told us he just assumes his kids are his and lives his life in happiness.
Hardest part about talking to someone new is keeping a straight face when she’s straight up lying about her life. Ma’am, according to page 74 of my research notes...
A few weeks ago, my brother, myself and the team at Carbon AV wanted to produce the perfect stage performance. After weeks of putting it together,
@EFYA_Nokturnal
and
@akwaabamusic
delivered.
Going to work after a rigorous leg session at the gym. My car’s jerking on N1 so much that a troski driver pulled up asked, ‘ah abrantie woonya stroke anaa?’
My legs dey shake crazy