Smirgolbaggins @__sammich__ Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@haevizn_

@SenadoAtletico

@Yura_Nord

@ethans_words

@OBF13

Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

6 years

The stupidest I’ve ever felt was in a high school English class when I asked “Is waving a verbal cue?” This girl called Gloria, turned around waved at me & said “Did you hear that? Fool.” The teacher had to sit down because she was laughing so hard. 😭😭😭

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@__sammich__

6 years

Parental love is not unconditional. Dead this lie. e.g Queer kids can't come out to their parents. Non religious kids have to fake their parents religion. Parents love what they project on their kids & get angry when they don't live up to them. Please @ me if you disagree.

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@__sammich__

1 year

Agreed. But first, France has no gold mines on their land. So all the gold in your government reserves that keep your country alive. Return it to Benin and the rest of West Africa. Also when France "left" Africa in the 50s/60s they burnt down libraries, hospitals & schools. So..

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@__sammich__

10 months

Most Beyoncé fans won’t care & I get that, but this film is showing in Israel and after what we’ve seen, it is uncouth. That country must be boycotted and sanctioned like South Africa in the 80s

CC UPDATES backup 𐚁

@AlbumB8

10 months

AMC theaters will be serving an exclusive ‘Alien Superstar’ cocktail in honor of RENAISSANCE: A Film by Beyoncé starting Nov. 30th 🎟️:

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@__sammich__

1 year

the “Good Woman” and the “Nice Guy” are the same same same person. Entitled. Entitled as fuck

Cost of living crisis

@un0themones

1 year

Single life is killing some people

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@__sammich__

3 years

Two men died today. If they had died in the era before social media. The colonizer would be sanitized while the Rapper would have been dehumanized. Social media might have its ills but reducing the chokehold media conglomerates have on telling stories, news, the truth is a win.

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@__sammich__

1 year

Always a good time to bring this back lol

Zaza Man

@Zazamyodor

1 year

What’s an insult you’ll never forget?

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@__sammich__

10 months

Kenyans. Land rights are fundamental everywhere. In Kenya even. Sign this petition. Forward it widely. RT. We are struggling differently but we can give each other some support.

Ogiek Peoples' Dev. Program (OPDP)

@OgiekPeoples

10 months

"...I was born here. I gave birth and raised my children here. I buried my parents here. This is my home. Where am I supposed to go?" Sign this petition 👉 to #StopTheEvictions @OHCHRKENYA @guardiannews @bonifacemwangi @LBecologies @HakiKNCHR @NGECKenya

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@__sammich__

3 years

The students who I used to tutor in Wajir. Despite the pandemic. Despite not having the resources of Nairobi. One got a B and the other B- and my excitement can’t be contained 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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@__sammich__

4 years

@Shanaa_John @Gawgie A baby? In my uterus? Who put it there? Not I, your honor

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@__sammich__

6 years

Kenyans are admiring the Croatian president. 1. As if you'd ever vote for a woman. 2. As if you'd vote beyond your tribe and actually relate with people on a policy. Stop admiring political leaders you'd never vote for. You are just embarrassing.

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@__sammich__

2 months

Who woke up with anger in their heart against this government? #REJECTFINANCEB İLL2024

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@__sammich__

8 months

I recently told someone that I’m so grateful for the noisy bitter twitter feminists. They are the reason the switch flipped for me at 21. I’m a better person because of their brilliance. I’m a better thinker because of them.

Buhle

@buhle_matsha

8 months

Thank you to all the Feminists who challenged the system so I could get an education, and not just so I could read and write. You fought for us to have more, not the bare minimum. I don't take this lightly. Thank you for paving the way for us to dare to dream. I appreciate you...

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@__sammich__

4 years

I never found Hasan Minhaj attractive. But seeing him uncomfortable on that Vanity Fair video stating how attractive he is & that he is hotter than most famous white men because we celebrate mediocrity in them, really did it for me. What are his fans called? I’m ready.

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@__sammich__

9 months

He is talking about Ghana but thankfully it fits for Kenya too. Wickedness

Black

@Hvmfree

9 months

I hate it when people call this government clueless because they’re not. They’re WICKED.

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@__sammich__

1 year

Can I just say, there is matata everywhere and extra, please stop 😭😭😭

Africa Archives ™

@Africa_Archives

1 year

Nairobi city. The capital city of Kenya 🇰🇪. Hakuna Matata.

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@__sammich__

3 years

A red flag to me is a guy who says he reads & only reads financial books or self help books. Then thinks fantasy books, romance books or anything that isn’t non fiction isn’t proper literature or learning. I haven’t been proven wrong

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@__sammich__

2 months

Are any of you feeling unable to participate in your own regular life? Like to do work. To watch things. To go for a run (or your physical activity) to enjoy eating. Since the protests, I’ve felt constantly angry at the country but disillusioned to work

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@__sammich__

9 months

At this point, we just need collectively beat up our politicians in Africa

BBC News Africa

@BBCAfrica

9 months

Anger in Namibia over Dubai COP28 trip by president's children

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@__sammich__

2 years

I would like everyone to hold on to the fact that having a PhD is more of an indicator of endurance and expertise in a very specific niche knowledge area, not an indicator of overarching intellect.

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@__sammich__

1 year

I thought it was Viva la Revolucion?????????? Alar.

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@__sammich__

1 year

@Xp20012 Not without our shit

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@__sammich__

1 year

His skin looked like warm ugali. It was free of color, smooth and just as warm. He had a rope tied on his neck, choking him. it was the clothing that the men of his tribe wore to show seriousness. He called the land, Eng. what a funny name, I thought.

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@__sammich__

4 years

Any of us who identified as over achievers & disciplined in high school found ourselves struggling & doing less in our 20s finally realized we were never disciplined/ an overachiever. We just excelled in extremely structured & authoritarian situations. Or bado tunajidanganya?

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@__sammich__

3 years

France’s Hijab Ban and Iran’s Mandatory Hijab law all come from the same place of policing women. Just because one is done in the name of secularism & another is done in the name of religion doesn’t change the fact it is misogyny. In both cases.

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@__sammich__

2 years

Ombachi’s kid will go to the Olympics for something. Combined nature & nurture. His father is an athlete plus he has created the environment to learn & try new things. To grow. Perfect combination.

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@__sammich__

1 year

I hope Black Americans fight back against teaching Slavery as if it benefited the enslaved. It will destroy your identity, fill your children with self hate. See Africa where we are taught the benefits of colonialism. See what it has done to us. It is a violent racist act.

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@__sammich__

5 years

Kenyans, that thing you are feeling in your heart. That weird warm feeling that makes you hold your head up high, makes you stand tall. That is pride in your country 😂😂😂 I know it has been awhile, so I just thought you needed a diagnosis.

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@__sammich__

3 years

Beating children doesn’t do anything but teach them to fear. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of being human. Fear of you. There is no benefit to it. Just say you don’t want to do the work of creating a healthy teaching culture & stop pretending to care about discipline

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@__sammich__

10 months

I thought Ruto was detached but Museveni has shown Nigga went round his country and said “Ewww you live like this?”

Daily Monitor

@DailyMonitor

10 months

QUOTE: “I have been peeping through my car window as I travelled here for this function and I have kept wondering to myself how do these people (in Busoga sub region) live through this sort of poverty? I have screened through all these villages where I have passed but the houses

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@__sammich__

10 months

Ghana knocking out Kenya for top spot in neocolonialism. Happy for us 😭😭😭

Accragyal 🇬🇭

@mansrodede

10 months

This is currently in Accra, Ghana. How the fuck are we gonna find these “missing kids” ?

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@__sammich__

6 years

@stephtaji She was lol. I still remember where she was seated. Where I was seated. The time of day 😭 it is like trauma

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@__sammich__

3 years

I’m not going to gender this. But If you are a person who prides themselves in their resilience? In not needing anyone? Always “we move”. You are killing your self. Find community. Seek softness. All this hardness. It is killing us.

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@__sammich__

3 years

The one thing about marriage proposals that will never sit right with me is when they are surprises. You are being surprised with a life long commitment? Why? It should be treated like the contract it is. Pitch the proposal. Discuss. Make a decision.

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@__sammich__

5 years

Unless a DM shows some harassment. Airing DMs of people who are shooting their shot is just rude. (It also shows that you aren’t used to it, me thinks)

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@__sammich__

1 year

@namenkere You mean the gold mines all owned by the French and former colonizers who mine it till today to prop their gold reserves? Can you read what I wrote before bend over to defend the French

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@__sammich__

2 years

I cant imagine hating on kindergarten graduations etc. I think if you've ever taught a kid to do something like reading, the struggle those little humans go through to learn how to read. Honestly, I'd give them the world ata. Like.

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@__sammich__

3 months

Some of us studied abroad, the depression that eats at you. Being a foreigner in a world that hates African foreigners will drive you to suicide. People fundamentally understand this, we want to live and work on our land. Stop making us leave

Syindu

@pmusesya

3 months

Y'all rejecting and saying no to the gospel of abroad jobs must be puzzling to these guys. They grew up in an era where going abroad was an achievement. Mnawashangaza mkisema you don't want to go abroad. 🤭🤭🤭🤭

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@__sammich__

6 years

This life thing has no pause button. I’m constantly pursuing something, overcoming something, healing from something, moving on from something. There is always something. Why?

Shosho Light

@carolinespencer

6 years

Nini inasumbua roho yako

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@__sammich__

2 years

People think colonialism was the only way for Africa to develop, when really human beings inherently would have developed at their own speed. And it would have reflected their culture and environment

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@__sammich__

3 years

I really really really really really want you to realize INTROVERT and SHY are not synonymous. Someone can be introverted & not struggle to speak up. Someone can be extroverted & nervous about speaking in public. This is possible

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@__sammich__

2 years

Listen, the name Megan has carried Twitter this December. If it is not Thee Duchess, Thee stallion or Thee Reporter, they've really spoken up. Well done

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@__sammich__

3 years

Let me tell you. Kids ain’t shit. How do these class 3/2s come to the staff room, look around & say “Wapi huyo mwalimu waria?” Unprovoked. Unasked for. Lol. Just small pinching. Allow me that

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@__sammich__

5 years

Can I say something weird that I know? Wangari Mathaai was born on April 1st. Winnie Mandela died April 2nd. Wangari Mathaai died Sept 25th. Winnie Mandela was born on Sept 26th. I find it so interesting and weird lol

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@__sammich__

3 years

Thinking about the girls in high school (we weren’t allowed novels) who kept us entertained with their own self written novels. The way we used to pass around their work. And it was also erotic 😂 Anyway, I hope they are happy & prospering & take up writing seriously

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@__sammich__

1 year

A lot of you aren’t creative enough. If a man starts quizzing you about current affairs, just turn into a conspiracy theorist. Lean into the crazy. I mean talk about flat earth, talk about the lizard people. Just disturb the fuck out of him. This is good advice

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@__sammich__

3 years

The fact a country is at war & they still have time in that region to make space for racism specifically against Africans is both unsurprising but still so jarring.

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@__sammich__

2 years

Right now, Africans are made to look down on their traditional architecture. In 20yrs, Scandinavian researchers will be talking about “Natural based homes made from raw materials and can be self constructed” lolololololol and they’ll be talking about huts

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@__sammich__

5 years

There is a company I want to work with & I’ve really tafutad them. Sent their head of Design this email yesterday. He replied with “So it seems your persistence has paid off” & has proceeded to schedule an interview soon. 💁🏽

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@__sammich__

3 years

If you run your own business, what websites do you use to create invoices? To track payments etc

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@__sammich__

4 years

A movie using Africa as the inspiration & blue print is on a platform that is unavailable in Africa. I haven’t stopped laughing. Irony came & died in 2020

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@__sammich__

4 years

I don’t know why people in relationships in Nairobi keep mocking us single people. When we know at least 83% of your relationships are more of a group project than anything else. I suggest you get an STD panel done before you worry about our heat levels lol

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@__sammich__

1 year

At 18 expecting people who have no idea who they are outside their childhood to select a career path that is meant to shape their entire life & if they don’t we label them failures at life.

Phumajongosi

@KhulumaniSibisi

2 years

What's the weirdest thing society accepts as normal? 🤔

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@__sammich__

5 years

Have you heard what Kipchoge said? That everyone who watched him and tweeted with him during his run was part of the run 😭😭😭

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@__sammich__

10 months

When I was 17, I genuinely dreamt about becoming UN Secretary General. It was a genuine goal. So it is extra amusing to be tweeting with the same helplessness and frustration as the current SecGen lol. So in a way, I achieved it.

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@__sammich__

4 years

Don’t send me any “Happy International Women’s Day” just send me money & food. Don’t list all the ways I inspire you, najua, send me Mpesa. Just let’s stop all this lip service & give women money 😭😭😭

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@__sammich__

2 months

Good Morning, I’ve decided that I shall do what I do best. Teach. Teach all the way into 2027. I’ll be part of the plan to improve voter education & we need to register in time. That is what I’ll hold on to so that I don’t fall into despair. Jumuah Mubarak. 💛🙏🏽🇰🇪

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@__sammich__

3 years

When I asked @ViktartMwangi to do a mural at my place. Love it 💛😍💛

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@__sammich__

3 years

I just want to say, I randomly sigh every few days in genuine relief, that I am not a mother. I honestly can tell you, there is no part of my life that will improve because I have a child.

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@__sammich__

1 year

Btw just so we are aware. This isn’t feminism This isn’t women empowerment. This is just rich women seeking to get richer off of who they are having sex with. Simple.

Nation Africa

@NationAfrica

1 year

The County First Ladies Association, which is made up of spouses of Governors, says county bosses' wives need a special kitty set aside to enable them help their communities.

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@__sammich__

1 year

The lesson isn’t “some ladies want a clean path to success” The lesson should be those in positions of power shouldn’t get away with predatory behavior against women.

Penelope Nankunda

@NankundaPenny

1 year

I lost a job in one of Ugandas most prominent media houses after working for less than three weeks when I shut down the boss sexual advances at me and honestly I am glad I did.Some of these mini god's needs to learn that some ladies actually desire a clean walk to success.

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@__sammich__

2 years

So to clarify, KOT men don’t want to have vasectomies, they don’t want to pay child support, they don’t want to pay for the child’s education? Anyway, Happy Valentines Month ❤️❤️❤️ Men seem like great partners. I hope you spoil them. They deserve it. Mashallah etc

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@__sammich__

1 year

@1Siirski @omondiJdonaldo Didn’t have enough characters, I’m not paying a white man to debate a clearly racist leaning account lol

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@__sammich__

3 years

I think I’d be able to handle this cold if I had more money in my account.

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@__sammich__

4 years

Me I don’t know what kind of people you are. But my character isn’t built through suffering. Mine is built through reading, trying new things, learning from my mistakes, listening to other people. Suffering chips away at who I am. I don’t romanticize suffering.

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@__sammich__

8 months

I really hate listening to white people lecture about wildlife and environmental conservation in Africa because it is their culture that has destroyed things for fun. Trophy hunting? Unregulated capitalism? Meaningless war to own resources. Just maybe leave Africa alone

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@__sammich__

2 years

Telling a white woman she is more Kenyan than actual kenyans is why we need to bring small small shaming. Small small bullying. Small.

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@__sammich__

2 years

Twirl for daddy.

Kenyans.co.ke

@Kenyans

2 years

The things we learn from President Ruto wouldn't fit in a thesis - Ndindi Nyoro

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@__sammich__

3 years

I don’t mean in this in a low self esteemy way or like to tear myself down or call myself a burden. But I’m quite replaceable. I’m not a loss. Everyone who has removed me from their life has gone on to live perfectly okay/wonderful/happy lives. I’m okay with that.

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@__sammich__

3 years

Someone needs to explain where all this money in Nairobi is coming from. Two more apartment blocks are coming up on Othaya road. The number of restaurants have increased. But the economy isn’t healthy? So what is happening?

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@__sammich__

6 years

I used to wonder why I didn’t like minimalist decor then I discovered maximalist decor & my heart can sing 😍😍😍

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@__sammich__

5 years

I’m FULLY in support of women shaming men for not paying child support. You shame women for getting pregnant. You shame them for being single mothers. You shame them for abortion. Nope. Nope. Nope. The shame shall be shared equally.

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@__sammich__

4 years

One of my first internship in a factory (only female engineer) I was asked to make tea, I said I don’t know how to make tea. He went and made tea for himself. Then I went & made tea for myself too, and then winked at him. Didn’t have a problem with him again

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@__sammich__

5 years

I met an interesting guy today. Smart & a gorgeous voice. We vibed. He asked for my number & i decided to just do it lol. He just texted me & called instead of saying “I’m going to sleep” he said “I’m off to lalaland” Lol. I’ve deleted his number. What kind of behavior?

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@__sammich__

3 years

Being an African woman is hard. If you aren’t mourning the harm happening in your own country to fellow women. You see women in Nigeria, Uganda, South Africa, Chad etc suffering the same fate. And black women outside your continent are hurting too 😭😭😭 My heart.

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@__sammich__

2 months

To David Chege, I’m sorry you lost your life this way. I’m so deeply sorry. We will not forget you💛💛💛🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾 I’m so very truly sorry for all the life losses incurred. Shame on the government

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@__sammich__

7 months

An announcement: I think people need to understand that hating can be a multitasking experience. You can hate Uhuru. You can hate Ruto. You can find space for Moi. Even the first Kenyatta. There is so much space for hatred of terrible leaders. What is the issue? HATE ALL OF THEM

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@__sammich__

3 months

I’ve said this before, I teach STEM subjects but be very careful of a public education policy rooted in gutting the humanities & arts. Because those are the subjects that encourage critical thought & analysis not math & coding.

Malaiksssbabyy

@Malaikssssss

3 months

Also a big up to our highschool literature teachers for effectively pushing us to chambua those setbooks and get the deeper meaning and understanding of what they were talking about👏👏we are woke sana

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@__sammich__

5 years

Imagine a woman’s only gym in Nairobi 😍😍😍. I’d genuinely pay good money for that.

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@__sammich__

6 years

From all of this, today is my first day lol

Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

6 years

There is a place I want to do an internship at before I move back home. They rejected me😭 And then I told them to think about it a bit more because I felt it was a bad decision. Lol. I have a phone interview tomorrow morning.

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@__sammich__

4 years

Thinking about those of us that are unemployed & can’t post the chasing the bag vs spending the bag. Because the bag we are chasing is Kenyan & too fast for some of us 😂 Don’t worry babes :) Your time. My time. Our time will come to sing our own praises & be cute too lol

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@__sammich__

6 years

Honesty is offensive on two occasions. 1. When it is delivered by someone who lacks compassion 2. When it is received by someone who lacks self awareness.

🐑

@Jebetn_

6 years

Do you find honesty offensive?

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@__sammich__

3 years

I hope you guys realize it isn’t just boda Guys who are dangerous. Taxi drivers. Matatu guys. Office men. Politicians. Whoosh. Just a danger everywhere.

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@__sammich__

3 years

My roommate & I are like wives. I wash the dishes. She cooks. She misplaces things. I remind her where they are. She buys me things, I take care of her when she is sick. I get it, men, I get it. Wives are great.

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@__sammich__

1 year

Btw they can’t speak because they are taking so much money from Africa till today because of the CFA, and when Guinea during independence saw it for what it was, “A colonial tax” they did the below to show the other countries

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

6 years

Once more, we shouldn’t make it okay to replace public systems with charitable acts. These politicians should be working on healthcare & livable wages not random “acts of kindness”

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

6 years

Babu Owino offers to settle legal, hospital bills of man accused of attempting to smuggle daughter out of KNH

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

5 years

If a man uses their job to get a woman’s contacts for their own personal gain. To harass a woman. No woman is obligated to protect that mans job. He clearly doesn’t care about his job so why should she? Shame him. Expose him. Get him fired.

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

10 months

@church_hive It was posted on her website part of the locations

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

If I ever met Magoha, I ask for the courage of the man who slapped Macron, the bravery of the man who threw a shoe at Bush. Because this man deserves violence

NTV Kenya

@ntvkenya

3 years

Protecting The Girl Child: CS Magoha warns female students against agreeing to teachers advances that lead to many cases of teenage pregnancies in schools. #NTVWeekendEdition @Nuru_AbdulAziz

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

10 months

Hollywood is going to make a movie, of a young white man forced to go Gaza and faced with the emotional dilemma of siding with Israel. Then he is going to refuse, beaten and will be the one to rescue an entire hospital of Palestinian children.🥹🥹🥹

Lowkey

@Lowkey0nline

10 months

Palestinian survivors from al Nasser neighbourhood in Gaza have reported seeing US soldiers on the ground with the Israeli occupation forces.

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

Jorja Smith is testing the limits of pretty privilege and I respect that. A scientist. A pioneer.

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

I need you all to start calling it what it is. It isn’t World War three. It is Euro-Russia-USA war. Me, the part of the world I’m in, is not part of that war. We’ve got our own stress

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

5 months

All the ways I want to improve myself costs money. So yes, money would make me ridiculously happier.

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

2 years

I cant even talk about unemployment for fresh graduates without experiencing anxiety, shame and anger all at once. If you've not experienced that level of repeated on going rejection & being repeatedly told that you must not be doing enough or something

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

10 months

Male Allies or whatever are supposed to speak up in Male spaces not in women’s space. They are supposed to direct their voice at other men not at women. Stop letting them guide feminist conversations in women’s spaces

Tiaraoluwa 💕

@TheOluwabukunmi

10 months

Feminism 101:

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

I teach Math for adults too. One hour is 2000Kshs. You don’t have to tweet like this. Bless

🔶Sóçrãtês Phílósóphíês🔶

@Kevoh__

3 years

Larry Madowo alizaliwa 1987 na bado hajafikisha 40 years aje? My big siz was born 1989 na ako 39. Makes no sense

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

💛💛💛

2022 AFRICA

@2022AFRICA

4 years

Which type of parent are you going to be?

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

3 years

The best thing I did was befriend older women. Women in their 30s, 40s & 50s. Women who are married. Single. With child. Without children. Just doing their best, carving out happiness in their daily lives. Trying new things. Makes me realize that this life thing can be great

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Smirgolbaggins

@__sammich__

4 years

Btw I’m not a strong black woman. Please please. I’m sensitive & I love being babied & spoilt. Please treat me with gentleness & kindness. I really need you to know I was not built for suffering or struggle. That’s me.

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