Kuna ndugu alinizimia simu intentionally a couple of months ago when I was in the pits, niliieka kwa roho walahi. Saai missed call zimefika kumi na moja tangu 9:32 am
Chauffeured my mom to a wedding iko na huko kwa kichaka, sasa mimi kama an intellectual nikaenda kutafuta sumu. It's almost time to go na hazishuki. 🙆♂️
A creamer over a squirter ndio ukimaliza una smear hio thufu kwa msedes halafu usioge, wacha ikauke. Next morning utakua unai peel off vile tulikua tuna peel off office glue kwa mikono tukiwa primo. 👀😏
Madem huwa entitled asf bana, hadi saa ya mechi mtu anakuambia 'babe cum for me' for you? FOR YOU!!??? Ama 'dont cum yet' as if unaeza shikilia kama brakes za bike.
Not my old man asking me how to join X so he can listen in to the space.
Nimemshow it's a subscription service atakua alikataa pesa monthly akalenga.
Smh.
Unaanza kufuga sheep and it dawns on you mbona wakristo tunaitwa Kondoo. 😬💀💀💀💀
They are the most brainless, clueless, can't think for themselves animals I've come across. 😩😭
Huku ocha nikuskiza Musyi FM 24/7 sasa news leo ni ati huko Kitui an eagle dropped a snake midflight ikaanguka ndani ya gari ikauma dereva, vile watu walianza kuipiga waiue eagle ikarudi akaichukua. Dude giving the report said it was 2 people in disguise. 😱😱🤭🤭😂😂
So guys, sometimes my hormones are so ruthless that I become very suicidal a fortnight or less towards my periods. I also dissociate from people around the same time because I become overwhelmingly sensitive and my emotions are out of control. It's almost like going crazy fr.
Siet! It's been 3 years already? 😳😬
Anyway here's an update, farming is cool and fun..... BUT!!! and this is a very big but, it's not for the weak, both physically and mentally.
Getting a "Aki I'm still sore 🫣😈🙈" text at 10 am on a Monday morning inaeza kufurisha kichwa bana. Unamea pembe, and rightfully so juu it's been more than 24 hours na bado unakumbushwo without having to say anything. 🤭💪🙌
Guys, if you are in Thika or can access Thika from wherever, a patient, Judy, urgently needs 0- blood at St. Mulumba Mission Hospital. Please DM if you can help or RT for awareness. Thank you
Someone DMd me after this tweet, akanifanyisha interview and turns out I passed. PSA!! Nimetoka soko mimi, I now have a girlfriend please act accordingly. Thanks and God bless. 😊🤗
I'm not one to say my L's publicly but last year nilikulwa moja hapo funny asf. Niliattach 3 images and 1 clip ya nyama mumamaz akafungua kama ameghost. I tried to get closure a week later akaniwacha on read. Huwa inanikula kichwa sana what went through her mind 😅😅🤭😂😂😂
Raising a child is such a task but it also has it's fulfilling moments. Seeing a baby cry because you're leaving or them getting excited when you get back home in the evening is some top tier honest and genuine love to experience.
I lost myself sometime last year and it's been a journey trying to recover. I kinda have accepted that I won't fully get back to being myself or it will take an even longer period to do it.
Calling all cat lovers! To celebrate this milestone, we're giving away a purr-fect cat bed!
To enter:
1. Reply to this tweet with a photo of your adorable feline friend.
2. The photo with the most retweets by Saturday 2nd March wins!
Good luck!
Lmaooo karao na land cruiser wamejaribu kunishika juu sikua nimevaa mask, nimewaachia hapo waki discuss vile mwenye alinipea jina Musembi hakua mjinga. 😆😂😂😂😂
Vile Captain Rubani Shoba alisema, unafanya small small tings hapa na pale huku ocha unajipata na tu kuku inafika siku kama ya leo una Identify, slaughter, weigh and fry one kujirudishia shukrani. 🙌👌