Go buy wine 🍷 with this voucher. £40 instead of £119 for 12 bottles of a variety of good wines. You are welcome pals, whatever gets you through the 💀pandemic💀
How is it that men are always the problem. A man killed and critically hurt those little girls. Now men are doing this in response. What if one of the bereaved families live in those houses? Can men just sit the fuck down for once? You’re always the ones causing all the problems.
@itsnashflynn
Oh GOD. Reminds me of when I was sitting my niece when she was about 3. She said “who’s that Tep?” pointing at thin air on the landing.
“Who?”
“That man”
“what man? What’s he doing?”
The next words she uttered sent a shiver all the way down my spine
“Just hanging there”
A lot of bitter old women commenting on this with “well I had to go through this so should you” vibes. Go and lay down in the bedroom of the house you bought for a tuppence and calm down.
BREAKING: Scientist’s gaping ring changes what we know about the universe
They say the structure – which measures 1.3 billion light years in diameter – is so big it theoretically shouldn’t exist.
I once sent a series of embarrassing DMs and I panicked and asked my friend for advice and he told me to copy and paste an entire Shakespeare play into the chat because the other person would never be arsed to scroll back that far.
I did. It worked.
Has anyone, ever, in the history of capitalism, had their CV “kept in the database for future consideration” and been contacted 3 years later with a “we rummaged around in our CV drawer and think yours would be good” email?
Final stages of lockdown and they’re protesting against lockdown in a way that would reverse the getting out of lockdown plan.
Smartypants, they are not.
(Plane lands)
The lesser beings: jump up immediately and stand around in awkward positions for 20 minutes while they organise the plane door thing.
Me, an intellectual: Wait, seated.
It’s selfish and it’s stupid and it’s achieving nothing. I really hate to imagine that maybe a family of one of those little girls is in there, or one of them is home and trying to recover. Absolute disgusting sewer rats of people.
My work is making us go back in twice a week. £120 a month that I haven’t had to think about. It’s not progressive at all and most people live 1.5 hours out. They’re going to lose people and don’t see an issue. Really very annoying times. Bring back lockdown.
I beg jobs to start posting their salary? You want me to jump through hoops just to tell me the maximum salary you’re offering will be 15% less than I was on? It’s okay if you can’t afford my CV, but just be honest.
@cmsdrums
@JaidevRamya
@BritishGas
@alexhilton
On the end of this account is a social media manager doing his/her job. I used to do that job and you don’t have any control over it, and there are usually guidelines of how you are meant to respond. Take your fury out at BG, but this isn’t the channel to do it.
This is absolutely hilarious. Just a room full of the people least equipped emotionally, mentally, physically to deal with orange powder have to now deal with orange powder.
Guys, I’ve adopted a dog by accident. This is not my dog. I don’t know whose dog it is. I came on a little Minibreak due to all the stress, then this dog just… invaded my life?
Me, looking at the application form for my own job they want me to reapply for:
WHAT DELIGHTFULLY LOVELY AND WELL-PRESENTED APPLICATION FORMS THAT I DESIGNED! Oh you want to see my examples of work? *gestures wildly to everywhere*
The role I started today has marked another milestone in my own personal measurement of success.
I’m here against all the odds, and I am extremely proud of myself. The imposter syndrome is very, very real. But I’ll enjoy each moment. That’s all 🥴
Have had a busy day filling out new starter admin. Pleased to appoint Keith Kettle as Head of Accounts, and Lindsay McPherson as our Senior Relationship Manager.
#workingfromhome
This is dirty tricks/a stitch up/dark arts. Take your pick. Team Rishi want the candidate they know they can definitely beat in the final two and that is
@Jeremy_Hunt
I literally do not care what anybody says, I’ve had half my life under a Tory government. Boris. Liz. Rishi. Keir looks like a prime minister. I actually feel hopeful for the first time in 14 years.
“I used to follow you for your hilarious tweets”
WELL now you can follow me for my hot as fuck takes on systemic abuse of women, ethnic minorities, and children, you low down piece of shit.
Since this has blown up, please share this tweet. More time at home means more time for domestic violence. If you are suffering, there is a way out. People will help you.
For those not suffering, listen to your neighbours. If you hear or feel that things are amiss, intervene.
For any1 wanting to leave an abuser please make the call
You’ll be found a safe place to stay, police are still operating & responding to domestic abuse calls.
Please reach out, the services are there to help.
National Domestic Abuse 0808 2000 247
Live Fear Free 0808 80 10 800
Hiya lads, me again. I’ve just heard that in Barbados, an apple pie is $2.45, in Jamaica, a raspberry pie is $2.38, and in the Bahamas, a blueberry pie is $3.45!
And those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.