I am so very sad to announce that the bleeding took over and the twins have passed. It happened swiftly but peacefully at home and now I will grieve and recover.
My 8yo requested that we say an extra prayer that "this baby sibling makes it". The losses have been hard on him. Third trimester now, so odds are good!
He's so excited. He's been making all kinds of plans to give his time and energy to helping take care of this little one 💕
My oldest has recently discovered a love of reading. Husband wants to support it because he hates reading and wishes he didn't. I have been charged with stocking the library with a few good books.
Tell me, what books should an 8-11 year old be reading? What is worthwhile?
Last year was so dark & hard.
4 tiny souls passed onto eternity.
I nearly died. Nothing made sense.
Last week, I cried all through Mass, and offered the Lord my poor broken heart.
What I didn't know, but He did, was that He had already given me this beautiful gift once more.
Appointment tomorrow to find out if we've made it to the second trimester this time. I should be 14 weeks. Latest I've lost a little one was ~13w5 so a strong heartbeat no symptoms would be big good news.
@SteveSkojec
What is the contradiction? Eternal rules are not vengeful, they are just true. What happens when you walk away from oxygen? You suffocate. From food? You starve. That's not punishment. It's the absence of what you need to live.
If God is, then to be without Him would be torture.
Appointment tomorrow to find out if we've made it to the second trimester this time. I should be 14 weeks. Latest I've lost a little one was ~13w5 so a strong heartbeat no symptoms would be big good news.
First actual prenatal appointment tomorrow. Hoping I'll hear a heartbeat. Hoping it won't be another referral to an "I'm sorry" ultrasound.
Hoping hoping hoping.
As my 8 year old keeps saying, "hope this baby sibling makes it".
I've been staring at this image all day and even though i knew it i still almost don't believe it. The sonographer said they are both chilling on the right side, which puts them nearest where I tied my St. Gerard relic 🤍
Had a conversation with a college student who told me that 26 was still "super young" to get married and have kids.
Or maybe we can all grow up when we hit adulthood??
On the big Catholic news of the day, it is good to remember that Cain killed his brother rather than admit that his own sacrifice was obviously deficient.
I loved the twins from the moment I knew they existed. They knew only love until their death in my womb. I want to understand why they would be given only to be taken away but that is not for me to decide.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Most marital issues shared in Catholic women's groups stem from the same premise, "well my husband isn't Catholic so I can't convince him to behave." 😬😬😬
Conversion should happen first or it's not likely to happen at all.
And it will matter.
It was brief (I'm only 10 weeks and the doppler is limited) but like the tiniest little horse galloping in the distance, I heard baby's heartbeat.
Praise God forever.
Casual reminder that today's public school kids cannot read nor write in staggering numbers. State regulations didn't prevent this. Get back to us when your own house is in order before you start reaching in to strangle my right to educate my own children.
In the US, 1 in 17 kids is now homeschooled, but lax state regulations mean we know little about whether they're receiving the education they deserve.
Think we shouldn't be concerned abt educational neglect? Read Tara Westover's Educated or Heather Grace Heath's Lovingly Abused
After my first miscarriage, I was fearful the next two pregnancies and didn't buy anything significant.
I'm not hesitating this time.
I'll laugh. I'll cry. But I won't hold my breath waiting for it all to go wrong.
I choose to be hopeful.
I bought a ring sling.
Let's do this.
She scanned in silence. They turn the monitor away at these places. Asked me to wait. I waited alone. I had been there for over an hour.
Finally a doctor. "I'm sorry. There is no heartbeat". Twice in a row, this time a shock. 15wks, missed miscarriage.
It has been a hard year.
I wish that I could muster a saintly reaction to humbly accept my circumstances with grace but honestly right now i just want to cry, complain and throw things.
I'm tired of being kicked around.
I'm just. Tired.
St Francis, pray for me.
St. Dymphna, pray for me.
The twins would have been one about now. Or we'd have a two year old in the fall. I alone will remember them. My own private heartbreak.
Thankfully I have no meetings today so I can cry at my desk in peace.
I'm seeing so many bounce back posts.
Please take it easy for at least 3 weeks after you give birth. The first two weeks should be bedrest. That giant placenta? It leaves a wound that size inside that needs to heal, for which the treatment is rest, nursing, and lots of water.
TLM High Mass was packed today. The overflow was standing room only. No special event. Just Sunday.
Everywhere you turn a baby or a toddler or an altar boy. Warms the heart.
I don't need a doppler at home.
I don't need a doppler at home.
It's so tempting.
Y'all don't know (unless you do & I'm sorry) how comforting it is to know baby is still okay after recurrent losses.
2 more weeks and baby will have outlived the babies I lost.
God is with me. 🙏🏻
If I'm being honest, since my last three labors were late miscarriages, there is a heaviness to this waiting.
I don't fear labor but the last one esp was so hard. They were precious and perfect at 12 weeks but they were already dead. It's hard to describe the scar that leaves.
I saw babies yesterday and it made me smile without pain. I will always miss mine but the immediate sting is gone. That is a gift from the Lord.
The twins, my third miscarriage in a row, 1 year gone now. I have been so dreading this anniversary but at Mass I felt such peace. 💛
Last week, I got chased down by an usher yelling "Ma'am!" into an otherwise quiet low Mass. My crime? Not pumping the hand sanitizer on the way in when I was "invited" to.
I was mortified & livid and now I'm stressed about what will happen this week. How long will this go on? 😭
Regular baby check today. Baby was bouncing around in there like a pinball! Midwife was able to pin him down for a few seconds for a heartbeat. 150bpm & my belly is measuring right on track.
All signs point to happy and healthy.
Deo gratias.
Officially (according to available stats) under 1% miscarriage risk! I should be at ~.5% until the very end.
I think this new baby thing is actually happening.
"How's baby sibling?" asked my 8yo. Then he adds hopefully, "I hope this one survives".
I was happy to report that this is very likely. We've reached viability week. Deo gratias. 🙏🏻🤍
Trying to write a Christmas card like: "How have we been? Grieving all year. I nearly died. Still tired. Sorry. Here's a cute picture of the kids who aren't in the cemetery."
✨️ Love from our family ✨️
7 weeks.
With my last pregnancy, I was convinced I was having twins at 8 weeks, which was confirmed at 9wks until we sadly lost them at 12wks.
So far, I have some of the same symptoms but not the troubling ones. It will be interesting to see what happens. Grateful for this day.
Kids need time to get home.
Kids need time to process the day.
Kids need time to see the sun.
Kids need time to for family.
Kids need time for daily chores.
Kids need time for leisure after a day of school.
When you spend all day at work you don't need more work after hours.
Schools finish about 3:30, yes?
And your kids go to bed about 10pm, some later.
But the idea of an hour of homework is horrifying?
Out of 6.5 hours, you can’t find the time for an hour’s homework?
I won't be able to make my Mother's Day trek to the cemetery this year. Blessedly, I'm too freshly postpartum.
My sweet sweet little ones. I'll always miss you. 💐🤍🤍🤍🤍
I will not resent the short time I carried my son. Many prayers of thanksgiving that my petitions to Our Lady of Sorrows for smooth delivery and opportunity for burial came to pass, and for the outpouring from friends and strangers across the twitter-sphere.
God is good always.
Be it known that in my current state, my husband has taken on all of the household diapers, dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping.
Revoke his trad card if you will, I will continue praying in thanksgiving that God gave me such a man to care for our family.
It's in those quiet moments now and again that I think about how far along i would have been by now.
It's always tempting to say, "i *should* be x weeks pregnant" but that was not His will. Thank you for this heavy heart, Lord. Let me bear it well.
Unless you’re trying to conceive there’s no medical reason to have a period. We have an array of pharmaceutical and surgical options for minimizing or eliminating periods, which are at best inconvenient and at worst disabling. Seriously fuck menstruation
April 1st is a loss anniversary for me -- when I heard the dreaded "I'm sorry" in an appointment a few years ago and we prepared for delivery & burial.
I'm grateful that this year it falls during Easter & we are joyfully awaiting birth this time.
Love you miss you little one 🤍
Miscarriage can be isolating bc the babies didn't matter to others yet. The whole event traumatic but very private.
It's not welcome to grieve so small a life as loudly. They were "just" x weeks. I feel for mothers who only see lines on a test before the loss. That must be hard.
@LVolente
@fighthefall
I've said it before, it doesn't matter how poorly you homeschool, it's worth it to keep your kids innocent.
My heart breaks for all the children that will be exposed to things like this. I just can't. 🤯
St. Michael, defend us in battle.
The first several times I prayed the Litany of Humility, i hated it. It was embarrassing. I was angry & defensive. I still don't like in the moment hearing that almost *everything* boils down to pride, but it's true.
Working on that has been such a beautiful gift. Also hard ha.
Only one of my sons has ever wanted to say Mass. He gathered up supplies from their toy kitchen and borrowed a jewelry box from me to make a tabernacle.
It is precious.
He may or may not have a vocation.
God only knows. But it surely didn't come from me pushing him.
I don’t find photos of little boys dressing up like priests playing Holy Mass cute. I can just imagine the whacko mom that sewed his little vestments because SHE is so sure he has a vocation. "But it was his idea!" Stop. Teach him why it's not like playing fireman.
I was only treated as an object when I lived a secular life and dated secular/non-practicing/weak men. What passes as normal in non-Catholic life is misery.
Women, don't sell yourself short on the lie of modernity. That's how you get OnlyFans instead of a husband who loves you.
I'm more and more convinced that we lost important tiny things by no longer cultivating the domestic life. Education became such an idol that we crammed as much in as humanly possible yet i don't even how to make a meal. The home things are just supposed to happen in the fringes.
The moment I went trad in my heart - i was puzzling over why not receive in the hand as i was taught, when I learned that in the EF baptism, they consecrate your tongue, just as the priests hands are consecrated, and i knew these aren't just different flavors.
We were robbed.
@Happyholistichs
I suppose a relationship that starts out with, "You're lucky i didn't murder you" is going to fail the practical on self-giving love.
This culture is rotten.
Coming up on the anniversary of the ultrasound confirming my first miscarriage. I'll be praying for all of you mamas who have lost children, but especially those who have heard those dreaded words.
May you find refuge under the mantle of Our Blessed Mother.
I don't remember people getting up in arms about Bible in a Year podcast. That was a form of rebranding.
@massoftheages
aren't trying to change the Mass (just the opposite). They are just trying to reach people. 🤷♀️
Isn't that what Mother Angelica, abp Sheen did before them?
Every day I have to choose not to be afraid that I will miscarry a third time in a row. Baby
#5
earthside, take 3.
6 weeks and counting is a blessing.
A milestone.
A surrender to prayer.
St. Francis, pray for me to find cause for joy in this road wherever it takes me.
I saw an IG account "are you tired of the religious overtones of so many homesteading accounts?"
No.
Not in the least.
In fact, they all ought to be more religious. More Catholic. More!
I used to think very naively that because I had born children, perhaps it wouldn't hurt so much to miscarry. I was wrong.
Instead I am learning what it means that Jesus died for each of us as if we were the only person on earth. Every soul is infinitely treasured.
@slnanina
Yes, I used to think about this while cleaning the sink at work. Why are we recreating life at work? I don't love these people. I love my family. I could be cleaning my own sink, with my own family's dishes in it.
If you are not trapped (some are not able to leave), don't work!
Physically, I am exhausted, emotionally I am drained, but coming back over here today, I've been blown away by all your prayers.
Thank you. What a gift. ❤️
I am so very sad to announce that the bleeding took over and the twins have passed. It happened swiftly but peacefully at home and now I will grieve and recover.
My IG feed is a hornet's nest of angry moms on the IVF thing. One referred to her children as her "grade c embryos". If that doesn't make your skin crawl, I don't know what to tell you.
The whole thing of it is tragically dystopian. We want what we want no matter what God says.
In light of recent unhinged tweets I've seen: Stop watching p*rn. It's melting your brain into seeing depraved s*xualization in every day normal life and that is dangerous.
Just let women exist without being afraid that our every action triggers depravity in your mind.
Two sweet unwitting coworkers upon my pregnancy announcement, couldn't help but ask, "How are you feeling?? You must be so sick of hearing that!"
I didn't have the heart to tell them that in fact no one was asking. I should really find friends in my real life this year.
Some sins are scandalous while others are not. Best not to talk about anything which could leave anyone toward unchaste imagery/environments.
Walk away. Ask your guardian angel to remove every bad image from your mind. "Take from me anything which does not glorify God!"
Abortion is the ultimate act of knowing yourself, defining your needs, and setting boundaries. Abortion is a healthy relationship. Abortion is a love letter to your past, present, and future.
As soon as 18 weeks rolled around, baby went from zero to dance party in there.
In four pregnancies, I've never had this much movement so soon. Flutters sure, but this is next level and so frequent. And that's with an anterior placenta up top, so I'm only feeling the lower half!
Hot take: women working prevents us from doing vital unpaid work, supported either by a husband, or by a parish, depending.
Caring for others in our community, for example, (sick, elderly) is not a business. It is a critical failure to turn this into a wage job.
@nicolita_d
Yes. I had to go up to L&D for a post-miscarriage d&c (my babies were already buried by then). They had a quiet section portioned off where you couldn't hear the rest of the floor & a symbol on the door to remind the nurses. That was kind, but even so it was hard to be up there.
Catholic Moms, have you read this book? I loved it. So thoughtful and approachable. I've implemented some of the things that she discusses to very happy result. Highly recommend.