Umami @UmamiByTheSea Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

bookshelf posting feels more personal than sending nudes

2

26

Last Seen Profiles

@howuwuw

@Kat45621904

@ivivuuu

@Aymaijr

@PetCordTrainer

@AlrashdGha22280

@Panthar415282

@QChain_official

@mac_kitt

@NenekStwku

@brendanmreid

@Dharmen56982387

@kinkykrabmaster

@ErikStolz1

@parkuskus

@uozura_official

@ErikaJohan84710

@Azereus

@nuwh65

@Rose08761558402

@OKlypych

@JesycaG95383

@EDQZ9Hj9LJgYiGy

@davidermes

@annajelinek13

@TWall_214

@stw_pdg

@Gemoy6968

@stw46

@yfg

@NenekStwku

@neal_don

@Infosos_es

@cafe_de_lespoir

@Spenr0w

@hirokux2x5

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

still a divorced single dad but no cancer in sight. it’s a beautiful day

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

i’m speedrunning life: divorced, have a kid and a tumor before 40

5

1

105

40

102

8K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@mrsballs69 i used ustedes to a group of women in Mexico and they all started laughing at me

20

34

6K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

I used to work with several industry food scientists and they would not touch traders joes with a 100 ft stick for these reasons plus others

zeta

@zeta_globin

3 months

the heavy metal contamination in trader joe's foods + the microbes in their frozen food from no cold chain is in fact wrecking your enteric & actual nervous system they really do have no quality control, it is upton sinclair's jungle

53

83

2K

29

138

3K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@mrsballs69 actually…brb getting a plane ticket to mexico

4

2

2K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@dklmarxist > me an autistic 12 year old > write a poem for a girl I like > proceed to have every girl in the school recite it back to me as I walked down the halls > mfw the pain made me stronger, now I am unstoppable

8

21

2K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@mrsballs69 later that night one of them drunkenly told me she would wait for me if I ever left my wife, she was my (now ex) wife’s cousin lmao

2

3

1K

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

@nolemonnomelon It gives short term relief, and yes your muscles can form both trigger points and scar tissues that most effectively get removed by manual therapy. HOWEVER, usually those got there because of muscle imbalances or bad movement patterns so a massage will only temporarily help, they

8

5

884

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@luusilva_g @dklmarxist It’s provocative, it gets the people going

5

4

798

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@megantheevalium This guy would do great with my ex wife, sounded like my life for 8 years

0

1

539

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@SWENGDAD Weaponized social anxiety is literally ruining the world

1

15

378

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

11 months

@thechosenberg Good relationship in your 30s >> single >> shitty relationship in your 30s

1

5

334

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@thechosenberg 50/50 chance she has bpd

6

4

334

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@heyincendiary @mrsballs69 honestly I was a couple glasses of wine deep and meant to type usted but 🤷‍♂️

2

0

184

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

@nolemonnomelon Source: I’m a certified personal trainer and worked at a massage company for years

2

0

180

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@thechosenberg The requests to give up kids is probably not common but, as a single father, single mothers have absolutely no interest in me, whatsoever. They always say “their kids are enough”.

2

1

167

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@AlignDeez probably not terrible but they tend to have shorter self lives than other grocery store’s fresh stuff. also every other grocery chain QAs products from their suppliers but TJs doesn’t, they just accept everything and hope it’s ok

3

2

173

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@thechosenberg Can confirm as an former autist formerly married to a Latina

7

0

154

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@mrsballs69 >be me >fire off a tweet I think 4 people were gonna see a few glasses of wine deep in a hot tub >accidentally use plural instead of singular which makes the tweet not make sense >wake up to over 133k people seeing my tweet >still gonna go to mexico

0

3

166

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@user84829272 I’m pro choice but 23 weeks is way too late to allow abortions. I’ve seen 23 week NICU babies grow up to be strong and happy children. They cry and they try to yank off the cables and calm down with touch.

4

0

123

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

@typeclonghouse you can be sued over this lol. You can get a portapotty or pay them to travel to a bathroom but this is super basic worker rights enforced on both the state and federal level

2

134

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

6 months

I think it’s a little more complex than imagination. I think most people, in this modern world, feel like they aren’t on top of their existing hobbies and responsibilities. It’s hard to dive into something new when you feel like a failure with what’s on your plate already.

inkolore {☉}

@inkolore_

6 months

It's pretty crazy the extent to which people's lives is literally bottleneck by their imagination of what their life can be. Like there was tweet floating around about "what hobbies are there past 25 besides cooking and exercising" and someone quote-posting, saying how they

199

7K

76K

1

11

109

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

i’m speedrunning life: divorced, have a kid and a tumor before 40

5

1

105

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@brightswordlol from what I was told the suppliers know TJ’s doesn’t QA so they send stuff of different poorer quality or things that didn’t pass internal QA specifically to TJs

3

0

102

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

5 months

@gbrl_dick masterclass in parenting

0

88

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 years

@Kantrowitz 5 star gerrymandering right thar

0

2

69

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

11 months

@chinesegon @jjohnpotter “But I NEVER tip” as his wife is packing her bags and calling the divorce lawyer

1

72

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@andrewnicon @thechosenberg Fuck I’ve been exposed

0

66

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@growing_daniel Port 3000 already in use. Read the room bro

0

68

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

@DeepDishEnjoyer russian girls love ugly rich dudes

1

63

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@BurakYngn @luke_metro Unfortunately that’s not how defense contractors work

0

58

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

5 months

@dissproportion probably in the arena, trying things ☹️

1

0

54

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

@JLBornstein @nolemonnomelon What Bret said here. You can look up “corrective exercises for desk workers” on YouTube and there is a lot of good content. If you have decent insurance, say you have neck pain and go to a physical therapist. They will be able to do more targeted fixing

Brent?

@bumpernackle

2 months

@JLBornstein @UmamiByTheSea @nolemonnomelon You can do exercises the work opposing muscles (eg desk workers often benefit from core and back exercises) as well as taking breaks to stretch and move around as often as possible.

0

1

11

0

53

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@watusi_dance @mrsballs69

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@heyincendiary @mrsballs69 honestly I was a couple glasses of wine deep and meant to type usted but 🤷‍♂️

2

0

184

0

50

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@thechosenberg Mexicans have an interesting type of racism. Not the lynching racism but making fun of the darkest kid in the family for being dark kind of racism.

0

46

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@man_ditch I’ve honestly learned indoor only cats are the devil. Cats that go out during the day and come back at night love life and people. Cats that stay indoors all day have the psyche of a death row prisoner.

2

1

45

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

7 months

@Duderichy unfortunately I have witnessed this scenario more often than I would have myself believed to be realistic

0

48

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@Daikichi_Dad @stereolabfacts @gnome_txt Just an average Reddit user

0

47

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@granolamomblog my two biggest tweets in months were both sent 2 glasses of wine deep sitting in a hot tub lmao

2

0

46

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@suedecadence @dklmarxist I’m not, I’m owning life cause shit like that made me stronger. If that kind of shit didn’t ruin me, nothing will 💪

3

0

47

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

10 months

@thechosenberg They say you gotta taste a flavor 11-15 times before you actually are able to like it

1

2

44

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@mimi10v3 You don’t become a high achiever by being content. Reaching some arbitrary level isn’t going to magically changed your brain chemistry when your whole pathology is centered around success.

1

0

41

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@luke_metro I doubled my salary within 2 years after switching from EE to web

1

0

40

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@SWENGDAD I see even a lot of dudes that game turn it into a job, like they get pissed if they lose and don’t understand they are supposed to be relaxing. If anything, gaming conditions you to always have a task and I think distracts from enjoying for enjoyments sake

2

38

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@poisonjr I - V - vi - IV, then a chorus of V - vi - III - II - I

1

0

36

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@wonderer_wander @thechosenberg Most single fathers take less than 50% custody and it’s economically pretty hard for single moms so it makes sense to me why they don’t want to risk making their lives harder. I don’t take it personally, just an observation.

1

0

36

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@chickenstrip007 @CartoonsHateHer They are actually ballsacked shaped fruit, thank you very much. The name Avocado comes from the Nahautl word for testicals

0

1

33

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@hollowearthterf I hate these kind of men. As a single father, I do all of this stuff because I want to show my son healthy habits and not have him live in a disgusting home. Bro needs stickers to get him to clean up puke. The smell of puke is all the motivation I need to clean that shit up

1

30

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

5 months

@AlecStapp did no one learn about the Haber-Bosch process? is that not technology?

2

33

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

10 months

@ymeskhout Getting those yeeks yoked

0

30

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

5 months

@Noahpinion Rona is like those doll parents from Coraline, seems ok at the surface but kind of has like an evil vibe honestly

1

0

28

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@visakanv Realizing the goal isn’t to be happy, it’s not to be successful, it’s not be fulfilled. The primary goal is to have a relaxed nervous system that’s not reacting to things in a heightened way. Once you achieve that, you easily build the reality you want

1

29

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@AlignDeez tbh I was eating there frozen food a lot years ago and I got a stomach problem so bad I nearly had to be hospitalized. Can’t guarantee it was from TJs but I was having their shit almost every day. Once I stopped I never had anything like that again

2

0

26

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

6 months

@DeepDishEnjoyer just missing a misuse of the word “priors” or it would be truly top tier

0

28

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@SWENGDAD I got my butt grabbed by a girl at a concert. I had to act mad because my wife saw but it honestly made my day

1

0

22

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@roxas_loverr @roboticparts @SWENGDAD It’s not disturbing. As a dude, I don’t want a date anyone, regardless of gender, who is too scared to ask a question to a server but would be ok to have their partner do it. It’s one thing to be ethically against something, it’s another to be a coward

3

0

25

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

hopefully the tumor is benign but won’t know until after surgery

5

0

24

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@powerbottomdad1 truly living the American dream

0

25

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@roxas_loverr @roboticparts @SWENGDAD And I don’t want to have kids with someone who is a coward. How are they going to advocate for the kids? How are they going to advocate for me if I need it? It sucks but major social anxieties make you an unfit partner to a lot of people

2

0

23

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@mimi10v3 This used to pissed me off but now I just try to appreciate they are outdoors and being healthy and enjoying life.

1

0

23

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@zeta_globin @AlignDeez i’ve told several TJ stans and they literally got upset at me and tried to argue lmao. it’s impressive what a cult they have cultivated

1

0

22

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

Recently 2 YC cofounders reached out to me for advice on their product. It was the most autistic dude I’ve ever talked to paired with one of the most attractive women I’ve ever seen associated with YC. What a powerful combo, completely unstoppable

5

0

21

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@anothercohen @Tyler_Palmer9 When Ligma Beach is too crowded, I head a few miles south to Bophedes Cove

0

19

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@a_musingcat So much this. I used to be a embedded hardware/software engineer. Shit did not pay well, the job was way harder, and the expectations on juniors was insane. I was making like $60k leading like $12m contracts.

2

0

19

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

Lore recap: Learned to program at 7 years old, html and C Realized I hated computers when I hit puberty and joined a surf gang Went to school for EE because my anti-government terrorist uncle taught me electronics so I could follow in his footsteps Worked for the military

3

0

18

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@a_real_society A shop in a small coastal town centered around rustic handmade home and garden decorations

0

17

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

@Blackpunkbird @nolemonnomelon Yes exactly the same as static stretching! Static stretching is better to do before workouts in some cases because it can help with the movement patterns. It varies but the benefits probably dissapear in less than a week, even less depending on the movement patterns that are

2

0

19

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@xlr8harder Sama and yud cucking Elon is a timeline I would do anything for

1

0

17

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@FatherMcKennaa The pupil dilation while on LSD actually makes it really easy to see at night. I know exactly what these guys are talking about, being in nature on hallucinogens can feel pretty effortless honestly

1

0

18

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

lfg

3

0

17

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@SWENGDAD People give me weird looks when I show up and stand around without a dog

1

0

16

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

@granolamomblog @nolemonnomelon A lot of people report great results but there is no scientific basis for it so idk tbh

0

17

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

me and who

1

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@skooookum I love when my breath blows back in my face and I simultaneously get hair in my mouth

0

16

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

@skooookum me imagining

0

16

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

this is that brat thing everyone is talking about, right guys??????

1

0

16

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

16 days

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

21 days

My 5 year old son got a love letter from his classmate. He then wrote her a song about how cute she is. Wouldn’t be surprised if I’m a grandparent in 11 years at this rate

2

0

9

6

0

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

the sierras are my happy place, highly recommended if you are looking for grass to touch

3

0

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@ken_wheeler Changed my dating app profile from SWE to Marketer (my role is marketing adjacent) and the matches literally 5x’d.

1

0

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@skooookum definitely past the statute of limitations

0

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@MDOrphevs

1

15

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

5 months

@thechosenberg now I know what I’m gonna order for dinner

0

13

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

I had a rough childhood and was depressed since I was really young. 3 things in my early twenties completely eliminated my depression & changed how I experience life: 1. Diaphragmatic breathing 2. Mindfulness practiced through Shamata meditation 3. The Metaphysics of Quality

Dylan O'Sullivan

@DylanoA4

3 months

If you’ve never read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, it’ll change you

186

2K

16K

2

1

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

26 days

Honestly, if you have time to constantly keep up with one or more huge Twitter group chats, you don’t have enough going on in your Real Life

4

0

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

Going to see what all the fuss is about

4

0

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@ken_wheeler @growing_daniel Goated

0

13

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

6 months

I think we really need to reframe viewing ourselves and others as deficient if we aren’t as good at logistical mastery as others. I think it’s a similar reason to why less people are having kids. When I ask people if they want kids, the usual response is “someday, when I have my

2

1

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

25 days

Beautiful hike this morning in the hills above Studio City. It’s been a life-changing week for me, I’ve decided I’m going to put everything I can into transforming myself into the person I’ve always wanted to be.

2

0

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@HotForMoot Foes With Benefits

0

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

My Be/accH Manifesto, a thread:

2

0

13

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@creatine_cycle @Soul0Engineer Muscles literally cure autism

0

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

i did this once and got a job offer the next day. risk aversion is a modern disease. your ancestors took innumerable risks just to allow you to exist, honor them and take chances in life

charles 'ruh-roh, rhaggy' davis

@charizardavis

4 months

just put in my notice at work and my boss was like, "oh, so do you have another job lined up?" and i said, "no. i just don't want to work here anymore." and reader, when i tell you how loud the silence was after that....

887

10K

232K

1

0

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@thechosenberg This happened to me at a friend’s party. Was talking to a girl for a few hours and then hit the pipe that was passed to me, she looked at me disgusted and left the party (she didn’t even come with me to the party, that was the first time I met her)

1

0

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

i planted this as a little sapling when i was 10. please plant your own seeds before it becomes too late to watch them grow into something beautiful

0

1

14

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

4 months

@ashleygjovik @chickenstrip007 I told you clean rooms had nasty chemicals haha

1

0

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

6 months

A gay guy once told me that a lot of gays that move to West Hollywood are one of the few gays in their small town. When they come to weho and experience the wide variety of gay personality representations and ways of living, it’s a culture shock. It shakes their entire

0

1

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@natsmacv @mrsballs69

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

3 months

@heyincendiary @mrsballs69 honestly I was a couple glasses of wine deep and meant to type usted but 🤷‍♂️

2

0

184

1

0

12

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 months

Mise en place 😌

1

0

13

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

2 years

@wnbagirlfriend One night in WeHo, I walked by an apartment building lobby with a group of drunk buff gay dudes waiting for the elevator. They were all touching, kissing, and taking each other’s clothes off. Hard to differentiate the bodies, it was just a swirling mass of bronze and hair gel

1

0

9

Umami

@UmamiByTheSea

1 year

@roxas_loverr @roboticparts @SWENGDAD There’s a huge correlation. Asking a waiter a question is extremely low stakes. What if you have to advocate for your child at their school, or they get in trouble, or they have health issues? Or your partner? Those situations tend to be confrontational and uncomfortable.

3

0

11