I love sports, books, music, films & good food. I've been called a lot of things, a Trophy Husband is the nicest of the lot. I occasionally tweet song lyrics.
Do you love her?
Us men need to ask ourselves often when it comes to our partners or significant others because I'm not sure we act like it.
Do you love her?
Not because she's smoking hot, not because she gives you everything she has and everything she is.
Do you love HER?
Till you take two bites of the second one and now you're full (of regret too).
Maybe they should be making mini shawarmas as accompaniments.... A shawababy or a shawa-maybe.
Marriage is too important a decision to be left in the hands of your emotions.
I feel like this is something that needs to be talked about more. Just because you're in love with someone does not make them an appropriate partner for you. We all need to be more astute/discerning.
Happy 10th anniversary to my beautiful wife.
I love you immeasurably but more than that, I really like you, like a lot! You are so fun, kind and the very best person I know. You are my army of 1 that always fights for me, and I feel safe with you. Thank you being my partner GGβ₯οΈ
In the fight for equality for women, a lot of people say "feminism is going to break up marriages and families"... You know what? That's okay.
If your idea of a successful marriage is dependent on the oppression of women, then it's not really worth it at all. Scatter it all!
I, therefore, hereby impose a 24-hour curfew on all parts of the State as from 4pm today, 20th October,2020. Nobody, except essential service providers and first responders must be found on the streets.
Delve was always going to come across as linguistic rodomontade to them that codified the of use fall instead of autumn and comforter instead of duvet.
Do you love her individuality? All the little things that make her who she is. Do you respect her interests no matter how strange they may appear to you? Because newsflash, our interests are just silly & foreign to them, but they learn about it, they get involved. What about you?
Do you love her? As an entire human being with her own flaws and battles, or are you expecting perfection from her at all times, while you mire yourself in mediocrity?
Men get frustrated on every little wrong thing a woman does, almost as if she's meant to be always perfect.
We don't allow women the same benefit of doubt we allow ourselves. We give them no scope for growth. It is inherent how most men expect their wives to automatically make their lives better, but ask yourself, "is her quality of life better with me?" mentally & emotionally
I've said my thoughts on this many times and I'll do it again.
365 days in the year man, so if you can't think of a different moment to propose other than than her moment of achievement, accomplishment or spotlight......... Then I don't know.
"Women are too emotional and they let it rule them, not us though, we men are logical"
We are quick to call women emotional firstly because they acknowledge their emotions; and then they frequently and healthily express those emotions; that sounds quite logical to me, no?
One of the funniest narratives I've seen hoisted around here is that feminists are unhappy women. Or that their partners, husbands or boyfriends are unhappy.
A guy asked me how he should choose a wife/partner. I told him I don't have any advice other than this;
Marry a Feminist
You see women sit through our unhealthy relationship with sports and its stars, and they take this on, champion our teams, watch 7 hours of the golf coverage with you.
Do you even bother to find out her interests? What she'd like to spend her weekends doing other than watch you?
Anything less than perfection in a woman and frustration sets in. However we're always quick to say "I'm still learning" in response to actions we should have learned by age 16.
Oh, how a woman allows you to grow out of your massive flaws some even learn to love you WITH them!
Do you love her enough to change, to improve to the level she deserves. Do you love her enough to make yourself uncomfortable in short term while learning all about her interests. Do you love her not as property but who she is?
Do you love her as a person? Do you love HER?
Do you know the difference between infills & just gels? Do you know the merits/demerits of closure vs full frontal. Do you even know whether she's a 4a, b or c? Do you know her favourite authors? Sometimes we know but we're so disinterested, we disregard it, call it silly. Awful.
Sometimes we get lucky and her interests are similar to ours, but more often than not, they just inherit it...because it means they get to understand us just a little more, a bit better, but mainly because they love us, and our individuality. But we can't be arsed to do the same.
Some of us men just love what the woman represents. She represents respectability, or progress in life, we don't love the person just the idea of the person. It is why things that make her who she is can upset you so much. You don't love her, you love everything she reps & brings
Do you love her?
Do you enjoy making her life easier? Or are you the reason her life is harder every single day? Do you think women in your life enjoy doing everything they do? Or do they do it because it makes you happier and your life easier? The cooking, cleaning & whatever.
When us men utter the phrase "marriage is about compromise and sacrifice" we're not thinking of us compromising. In fact the only thing we men really think we're sacrificing is all the women we think we would've had if we weren't doing you the favour of being with you. Laughable.
Do you love her?
Not as your property that you own but as an adult with agency? Here's another newsflash, marriage, long/short term relationship does not mean you own her. She is allowed to have friends outside of you, she's allowed to spend her days and nights as she sees fit.
So, I'm starting a new job today as an Executive Director in financial services and I'm pleased, proud & nervous.
However, I'm also particularly grateful for my family and friends. Especially my friends cos family has to love you right?
My friends have been amazing these....
The funny thing is that these are the same men who'll turn and say "why don't you have your own life" when it's cramping their style. When they've isolated you from every friendship and sisterhood, they'll get mad at your dependency on them. Men can be clowns π€‘ sha.
Do you love her?
Love her enough to read this and think about all the things we men are doing wrong. Do you love her enough to apologise sincerely. Do you care about her at all, because if you did you'd respect her agency, you'd show kindness & understanding every chance you get
Jamaica π―π² winning gold medals at Olympics and a functioning presidency but want to get mad cos they lost an online poll??
Allow us abeg, we're a country run on pure vibes πππ
#NS10v10
Do you love her?
Do you love her loving her career, her pursuit of excellence in her chosen field. Or do you only want her supporting your own pursuits. Is her career only ever a second thought to yours. Is your ego more important than her success? Would you ever put her 1st?
While on the subject, the only time is woman is obligated to feed you is when you're still breastfeeding. If food is all you want from a woman, there are professionals for that.
You want her to be your friend, chef, cleaner, sex worker, cheerleader and you don't do the same?!
You claim to love her but want to control every aspect of her life; who she's friends with, what time she leaves, what time she gets back, what she spends her money on, how you spend your weekends.
God forbid you don't get your own way, you'll sulk like a toddler or lash out.
This is why a growing number of women are eschewing traditional titles like wife or girlfriend in favour of 'Partner'. This is two adults with agency coming together to make their collective lives better, easier and full of love. Two adults doing life together.
So we're now paying privately for our security, we're feeding ourselves, paying heavily for our medical needs, getting educated via online platforms, and shunning traditional banking & media.
So precisely what positive impact is Nigeria/government adding to our lives?!
#EndSars
I don't know which protests are on tomorrow but want to preempt what happened today. We will get securuity to as many places as possible tomorrow morning to avoid any problems from the jump. If you are an organiser and a protest is on tomorrow DM
@SamuelOtigba
,
@EndSarsResponse
I'm willing to start a research grant to better understand why food has many Nigerian Men's reasoning in an eternal headlock???
It has to be a curse, kilode?!
A woman that attempts to request for take away on a casual date is not a spec!You request, we will pay but just know that you left a footprint
Secondly, if you empty your plate of rice on a first date, you've left an impression! I know someone that even chewed the chicken bone
I include myself in 'anybody' as well...and it's my job to protect you, sometimes even from yourself.
You can't help that you're a feeder and a pleaser, and unfortunately friends and family often are the ones that take advantage of pleasers (oftentimes it isn't intentional).
My last retweet reminds me of how Dayo doesnβt like me cooking for his friends π heβs like βna ...youβre not anybodyβs chef. Only cook if you want to cookβ
If you really think the man that eats off being 'the only person that can talk to SARS' is trying to
#EndSARS
#EndSWAT
... I have an airport to sell you.
I love positive workplace energy, bosses that understand your value, compensate accordingly and understand it's not forever. Don Jazzy just comes across as a solid dude. Mans just wants to make music, make coin and enjoy life.
I really hope the move pays off for Tiwa Savage π.
This Cassie/Diddy issue is why we have to really start advising boys coming up to keep themselves.
If he was walking in the spirit of a husband or showing he was husband material, maybe she would have wanted to marry him. Instead she just used him & no ring for him. Such a shame!
Whenever my partner says "I love you" my immediate instinct is to say "Why?".
I'm not asking for all the reasons in the world why she loves me, but rather the specific thing that triggered her saying it in that very moment. I ask so I know what behaviours & actions to repeat.
So based on what I've seen so far;
- Erica asked for answers for a week now.
- Laycon not forthcoming cos he's been less than truthful.
- Nothing wrong with blasting him (long overdue tbh).
- Plenty wrong with body shaming him.
- Kidd not being supportive AT ALL.
Back to you.
Lol today I unlocked a new fear I never knew I had... The fear that they'll bring Azul to my table when I ordered quietly and humbly ordered Asun ππ
7 lessons I've learned to share with fellow men.
1. Learn the meaning of feminism. Not what you think of it, not the derogatory term you use for women that challenge you, but the true meaning of the word. Stop waiting for women to educate on feminism, that's not their job.
Let's start here; There's no emotion in this life that is gendered. None.
So, of course men need reassurance. So what you see as security is that many men haven't learned to vocalise their emotional needs cos that takes vulnerability and often, we see that as weak & 'unmanly'
So teasing is a love language for me, I do it to all my loved ones.
However I have learned 2 important things as I went from a teenager to a man;
- You should never tease them with anything they are self-conscious about.
- You should always uplift them more than you ever tease.
Happy 60th birthday to my wonderful mother.
I'm immensely proud to be her son. Her kindness, present smile and her relentless strive for excellence in everything she does is so inspirational.
She just completed her PhD last week, so that'll be Dr Mother to me I suppose ππ.
I think i'm very objective.
I know I'm not conventionally attractive. No one will see me and be all hot and bothered like the romance books and films preach... however, when it sneaks up on you (like wine drunk) you will just randomly think "wow, he's good looking you know?"
The second and often overlooked is that choosing a partner should consider other things like does the person improve or diminish my quality of life? Is this person emotionally capable/equipped to be a partner? Do they increase my chances of attaining my goals? These are valid Qs.
This topic has shown a lot of us NEED therapy. Cos I can't understand how folks are sharing the stories of them being abused by their parents with so much glee & a sense of anticipation to do the same to their kids.
Heartbreaking that this has been normalised as discipline/love.
Many men will say, these ones are in the minority or call them boys not 'real men', some even go as far as animals but they're wrong...these are men.
We are the common denominator here. Men are the ones that did this, men also watched or unlooked while this happened. MEN.
I'm not saying being in love with your partner isn't important. Of course it is, but that only matters if you actually love the person. Do you KNOW them and then love them? Do you care about their person, their eccentricities, their hopes, dreams, future and are you kind to them.
Last night asked E what she thought & she said "what people are seeing as patience could very well be a woman who has learned from experience not to say anything that'll provoke" the wolf pack leader
Makes you wonder how that will have gone if they were alone & no camera rolling
I am generally not a "look at me now, haters" person however as I start as a Director at a bank, I remember 7 yrs ago at my Consultancy's leaving drinks, a person I was friendly with, drunkenly said "you won't last 6 months, you'll be back here with me"
Anyway, look at me now.
@WendyA__
Stole 5 dollars from my mother's purse but because I used to talk in my sleep, I ratted myself out to mum when she came to my room to wake me up for school. I whispered "mum can never know I took money from her". π