Girl was playing with boy at park. Boy's dad tells me boy is autistic. Boy is bubbly, social, good eye contact, plays pretend, seems to be of normal intelligence. Dad says boy freaks out when there are loud noises. This does seem like an expansion of diagnostic criteria.
@panda_gongjunim
In old books, men who kept wives constantly pregnant are sometimes considered "harsh husbands." I know a lot of big families with honorable dads but it still tracks when the wife is having babies 11-12 months apart 4-5 times.
@QuetzalPhoenix
I met my husband as a teenager. I asked for his standardized test scores on our first date. He came from a poor working class background but his scores were super high. Now we live a nice life because I bought low and held. I love him.
@queenofn0pants
Tbh the kids diagnosed with it in the 90s were absolutely noticeable within 20 minutes. So this makes me think increasing rates are about expansion of diagnostic criteria.
@panda_gongjunim
Yes omg atheists paint those biblical laws as oppression but actually please consider me unclean for 6-8 weeks after childbirth!! So unclean I can't even cook!
@AniseNot
My husband does the "dumps info about nerdy topics thing" and over the years I've just coached him a little on when to do this and when not and how, and now you can't tell. He also used to wear lines in the carpet pacing as a kid. No pretend play. Hmmm.
@made_in_cosmos
They wanted me to wake the baby up so they could kiss him goodnight. I was 5% tempted but obviously not. The first rule of babies is don't wake them up, I tell them!
@realgirl_fieri
Easy to be chill about the kids' sleep schedules if you're not the one who will be getting up all night with them! Sometimes, we're just defending our basic physical needs that are constantly being missed!
I have offered to introduce a lovely 20 year old woman from church to a 29 year old man from my friend's church. 29 year old guy said not interested, she's too young.
Many women cannot enjoy sex when there's the constant threat of interruptions and chronic exhaustion. Children who take forever to put to bed and constantly get up can wreak havoc on your sex life. Falling asleep independently at bedtime is good for marriages.
@Chrystal4you
I'm sorry 😕 If rates of this are increasing that's a huge public health concern! But if it's just more diagnoses of awkward engineers....not sure.
@missmulrooney
Haha the boy I loved in 2001 everyone told me was gay but I wouldn't hear it he was so nice and his shoes were cool. He is now a gay flight attendant.
@wasphyxiation
Oh absolutely. People cope like hanging with toddlers is the greatest most fun thing ever but actually adults do want to do something besides work and attend youth sports events.
@realgirl_fieri
It's honestly just bigotry. Children and elders are not an optional part of humanity but as soon as you fall outside of able bodied working age people society expects you to be warehoused out of sight.
@PetiteNicoco
Since this world is not my home and I'm only passing through I won't let a politician stop me from doing human things. This is a resolve I made when I became a Christian while my liberal compatriots melted down over Trump.
@emilykmay
I followed this fitness influencer who was a marine, and he had kids and said: my wife asks me how I remain calm while everyone's screaming and cut to a clip of a drill instructor screaming at him. I found this validating.
@Empty_America
Okie is a slur that's almost been forgotten but my oldest relatives remember it. I had to read Grapes of Wrath to start to get the concept.
@Kairo_Anatomika
A book I read suggested the enormous population was a rebound after the old world diseases killed off 90+ percent of native people, before many had even seen a white man. The pigeon population looked like that because their major predator had just been wiped out.
Good men offended, but among the bottom quintile there's a dark pit of useless men. Many nurse's aides I worked with partnered with jobless men who did no childcare or chores. They drank and got into legal trouble. This is a class divide.
Let's just ask: if your partner said "I want to help you more with your half of the chores. Can you make me a list of the ten things you most want done, so I don't get in your way (?)," would you view this as unreasonable or an imposition on your "emotional labor?"
@ladyloodeeloo
There was a post on here recently like---look how pretty and vivacious Kamala Harris is at her age and like yeah, boss babe! I'm happy with my choices but I'm also pretty sure my entire IQ went to my most recent baby's thighs.
@clhubes
I'm a little anxious that everyone is so fragile and traumatized that my kids are gonna claim trauma over some completely new made up thing and be affirmed by a bunch of strangers, like "I'm traumatized by eating off a paper plate going no contact"
@IngriPauline
Pediatrics is full of unfunded mandates. It's basically, "We recommend you stay awake all night." I had one say I should set a timer while nursing at night, so I don't fall asleep. Miss me with that!
@realgirl_fieri
SAHM twitter will state that the exact opposite is true. Like "I was shamed for breastfeeding" vs "I was shamed for formula feeding," this depends on class, race, religion, sub-culture, online algorithm bubble, FB page, etc.
My 4 yr old son once said I should wear more jewelry so I could be pretty like grandma. So, some people still notice and love grandma more than anything in the world.
@oliveegger
This is because we can't imagine having sex with someone who doesn't want to. It sounds utterly humiliating; whereas, by revealed preference at least a good chunk of men don't mind.
@AniseNot
I mostly agree with this and think it's nuts to write a script if the mom is only getting a few broken hours. If a non mom wasn't allowed to complete a sleep cycle for months would we expect them to feel well?
My middle class hood is full of hardworking husbands who also shuttle kids around, have jobs, change diapers as needed. In the lower classes, a great many men are useless and much lazier than the women.
Some women I know, who are all over 80, didn't breastfeed because it was thought to be vulgar. I know one woman, 89, who says she did it anyway but got a lot of pushback from older relatives. So, I'm glad this attitude was corrected.
Unbelievable how immune to this I've become. Sleep sanity is good. Parents matter, your marriage matters. It's also ok to do some cosleeping at some stages, some sleep training at other stages.
I just got sucked into an Instagram post about sleep training:
We co-slept with all of our children. No one told us not to.
And it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It was a guttural instinct that felt right.
Reading the comments, it appears that this is a big thing with
@Empty_America
Patriarchy is required to get men to work. These women are living in matriarchy, where women do everything and men (not always the kids' father) drink and fight. It is the primitive state of man.
@owenbroadcast
Omg I love you haha. They could suffocate in the pouch. Fall out of it. Why is it so hard to get things done without the pouch? Here's an $8000 joey holder the $100 ones were all recalled.
The baby ate guacamole and woke up from a nap and started speaking 2 new consonants. This is why women are superstitious. So many patterns, surrounded by pre-literate savages (children). Don't expect me to be rational.
@ladyloodeeloo
All parenting recommendations are written for the most dysfunctional quintile of people who can't do nuance or set up good incentive structures. So much is healthy user bias all the way down.
@mrsmeganeverly
Aww shucks. You know what, I believe I know the keys to getting a baby to sleep through the night. Like I actually believe there's a method, and it's not just "kids are all different there's nothing you can do." But, most people don't want to hear.
@wanyeburkett
Yeah I mean people would get this if it were your wife. "I like you bro but your wife is ugly and annoying I don't want her around." A man who loves his wife would not think that's just cool.
@wanyeburkett
All spanking research is horribly confounded by genetics and the healthy user bias. The smugness is off the charts on this one. And dare I say the smugness indicts whole cultures many of which are ya know, non white so progs should step more carefully here.
@oliveegger
For me, the willingness to bear this came after, not before. I'm not saint and my before self wouldn't have tried if I'd internalized this requirement. But now I'm changed.
If you're alone with a baby all day the baby thinks you have been exiled from the tribe and feels insecure. The baby doesn't trust you. The baby senses impending doom.
Yesterday I learned about depths of crunchiness hitherto unplumbed. Broke: fed is best. Woke: breast is best. Bespoke: goat milk derived weston a price toddler formula is best
I promise I never forget people are people, even when I call them alcoholics, supervisors, mothers, children, elderly, diabetic, whatever. I don’t know why we would need to refer to people as “persons” constantly or we forget. I’m not that dumb, I promise.
@shagbark_hick
It's not that bad. Worst case scenarios are bad, but I've been involved in a large homeschool group and people there homebirthed, didn't vax, had 10 kids, lived in ramshackle old farmhouses, had kids getting up at 4am to do farm chores.
There's an honor culture instinct in me that agrees with this. 16 year old pregnant by her prom date ...let's make this work. 10 year old raped by molester.... c'mon...
No genuinely masculine man would ever allow his 10 year old daughter to give birth to her rapist’s baby. Something is deeply CUCKED within you if you would allow a child molester to pass on his genes at the expense of your own progeny, and that’s why this woman is so upset.
On
@clhubes
My friend who wants children will bring boyfriends to the park with me and the kids to see if they can act relaxed. I feel I must try to advertise parenthood well but she assures me we're not on stage. I don't want to ruin it for her!
Reasons my sister thought she couldn't have a baby:
1. climate change
2. overpopulation
3. may not be able to replicate parents' standard of living
4. Husband had bad childhood.
In this case, she just needed to hear a different perspective. Now she has a kid.
Lady in my church got divorced. Husband is painting it as a "she was unhappy" situation. I heard the other side, he has been unable to hold a job for 25 years, constantly fired for porn related infractions. Pays to hear the other side.
@Empty_America
The higher the investment in the kid the bigger the possible disappointment. The randomness of conception is a psychological barrier protecting us from even higher levels of disappointment. OTOH, if the price was right, I'd use this tech too.
At the school, only 3 children get to do anything productive all day. The three children with Down Syndrome tally milk orders and go class to class passing them out. Everyone else preparing for an email job I guess.
@Empty_America
Core memory: Hearing in 2nd grade: manatees will be extinct by 2001 if the course isn't changed. I resolved to check up on this as an adult. Good news, 2nd grade me, things changed!
@wanyeburkett
CICO preachers are repeating an unhelpful tautology. MIMO (money in money out) is just as useful for money management. CICO is the midwit position...
@KaeleyT
Wow. IME not only are these guys, ya know, guys, but they embody the worst stereotypes of men. Predatory sexuality, aggressive mansplaining, making every conversation about himself. It's like they read a list of feminist complaints and said hold my beer.
@SpiritedSparr0w
Yes this is bad! But what I want to say is, the moms I interact with on here are super prone to guilt and I'm like ...the bar is low. You should see how the other half lives don't worry about like...a drop of seed oils.
@realgirl_fieri
Yes at 3 they do occasionally have a point! Also, my 3 year old is the only one giving it to me straight about my outfits, hair, etc. Everyone else is lying!
How I started putting babies down awake at 3 months (not approved by the science)
1. try doing something other than nursing to sleep
2. try swaddle/bounce/white noise to sleep, putting swaddled baby in bouncy seat or swing
3. jiggle bounce seat and swing to settle baby
@rayengroves
Like maybe if you have 1? Have kids, it'll make you unafraid of dying. That's how I feel. Pregnant with toddlers, which I have been many times is so horrible I sorta believe God likes tormenting women. K back to being normal.
@made_in_cosmos
In my experience 3 yo girls have been very baby friendly. It's "our baby" but also our baby does things with "her" babies. Photos of baby with her doll, feed play food to stuffed animals, set a place for real baby, etc.
@clhubes
I guess they just follow me around. Stacked wood the other day I said help out or find something else to play. I mean, I said it kindly, with encouragement. I assume this is how my ancestors all did it.
My wokest high school teacher was a menstrual-cramp denier. It was so important to her to impart to us that they're all psychosomatic. An opinion so unpopular with 14-15yo girls that it diminished the power of some of the woke stuff.
I'm afraid this is me after all this childbearing. I know some women exercise through pregnancy but...I just couldn't, like if I did any exercise I was so shot for the day I couldn't take care of my kids. So yeah I'm frail now.
People do not become frail due to one single event. It’s usually the culmination of multiple events, such as a recovery in the hospital, from surgery, or an injury or unnecessary brace/boot. Each event robbed you of 8-15% of your muscle mass…
Thus, with the loss of function,
@SpiritedSparr0w
Plausible, likely even, but some anthropology book I read said baby talk is found in all cultures even extant stone age ones so I can't rule out that there's something to it.
@sewistwrites
I think we're supposed to spend thirty years in the "season of motherhood" and then effortlessly parlay this into a career as a conservative commentator right?
@wanyeburkett
This is one of the unstable truths, that school shootings are a tail risk of the magnitude of other risks you don't even think about. I suggest we do nothing. Any of us could get caught by horrible tail risks and I have only sympathy, but it's not a big risk.
@wanyeburkett
Hmm I'm not sure, I just read it and these folks are extremely unusual. They are autistic atheist rationalist types. He does most of the childcare. They both work full time. It is a very strange situation by any metric.
@RichardHanania
Sure, but the more you can control, the more disappointed you'll be when your kid is still a fallible human with weaknesses. Inflated expectations are something to consider here.
@megbasham
Yes. Also, Mormon culture has us beat on this. Let's do more than zero to get out young people to meet each other. Heaven forbid we do anything but sit around waiting!
I’m so sick of reading articles about pregnancy in which mothers are referred to as “people who are pregnant” 😵💫
I’m sorry, but i don’t buy that it’s triggering for the non-binary crowd to be called a woman but it’s somehow NOT triggering for them to be pregnant 🤦🏼♀️
I wore an ankle length red skirt to church. An 89 year old woman told me when she was young, that skirt said "prostitute." Look how far we've come. Any ankle length skirt is very very modest today.
I respect crunchy mom's and their sourdoughs and home remedies and I dabble in this stuff myself but you may be working too hard. The really fat kids all have egregious fat habits. It's not like...they have a pb&j everyday for lunch.