anise @AniseNot Twitter profile

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

I’m sorry I tweeted too much I will chill out

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

Mom can you pick me up the Long Covid People are pretending they have cancer now

Dianna Cowern

@thephysicsgirl

3 months

Dianna decided to shave her head to make it easier on herself for her journey with #LongCovid and #MECFS . Many people struggling with this disease choose to do this if bed-bound for extended periods of time, like Dianna has been. Hopefully she can avoid crashes, and reduce the

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

6yrs ago I was 35hrs deep into a 54hr active labor & all I wanted in the whole world was a Cinnabon & I asked all of my family & my bf & my bff if someone would please bring me a Cinnabon after baby was born & there were multiple Cinnabon locations within 10mins of the hospital I

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anise

@AniseNot

4 months

She looks like a beautiful child Any man who thinks she’s “hot” is a pedophile I am not lying

Aimee Terese

@aimeeterese

4 months

Miranda Kerr was modelling from the age of 13. She’s 13-15 years old here. Sure you can insist she’s not hot and that any man who thinks she is, is a pedophile. But she’s gorgeous. And you’d be lying. So whatever.

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

Changing baby's diaper in the women's bathroom at a nature center & what is very clearly a man in a dress walks in & gets a view of the full monty before I can shield her from his offensive gaze 5 years ago I would've called the cops in this situation

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

This kind of content has no effect on me whatsoever. It doesn’t make me mad, it doesn’t make me pine for anything, it doesn’t inspire me or influence me in any way My wavelength is so far removed from this stuff. No feelings about it other than it’s obviously set up for content,

max (derogatory)

@maxafrass

7 months

People who wfh taking their lunch break

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

At a nightclub ~13 yrs ago one of my sisters thought a guy was cute, so my other sister w no warning, physically shoved her into him, then made a really big deal about it He was on vacation from England. So he returned home, sold everything, came back & they’re married w 2 kids

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

If someone has a baby & the labor was messy & they say they are hungry & tired just bring them food & leave them alone

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anise

@AniseNot

6 days

There are no fat parents at a gifted private school function. In fact there aren’t even any ugly parents at a gifted private school function, just saying. Very diverse crowd, but it’s like a well cast movie, everyone is pretty This should be studied

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

Still took me almost 2yrs to defeat the people pleaser within & realize I needed to be more of a bitch sometimes

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

@nicholasig13 Word of advice: Stop being so sentimental. It is a chair. You will not be nursing the baby. Find someplace else in the house for it

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

My son is thoroughly hypnotized by pretty girls. He will do or say anything to get their attention. It has always been this way

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anise

@AniseNot

8 months

An old woman I was friends with died a few years ago when I was pregnant & she left me a few things. Some inexpensive jewelry & a couple books about relationships & children I kept the books but never opened them. Last night I finally opened one looking for some insight into

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

How does that whole saying go? The wives of poor men stay at home The wives of middle class men work full time The wives of rich men stay at home The wives of extremely rich men own little businesses that cost their husbands $10k/month

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

Kid birthday party invites be like: JAXON IS TURNING 6!!! *PLEASE CHOOSE A GIFT OFF OUR CAREFULLY CURATED WISHLIST. GENTLY LOVED USED BOOKS ARE ACCEPTABLE* Where: THE PLAYGROUND WITH NO PARKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY When: SUNDAY @ 8:30AM SHARP Details: We will provide

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

It does actually feel very uncomfortable to be a woman in a bathroom with a baby & no one else within earshot & a mentally unstable dude walks in

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

“This was my mother’s nightgown. She wore it throughout my childhood & she’s dead now so you need to wear it. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. This is not negotiable”

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

Recently changed my parenting approach away from any focus on emotions & feelings 5yr old was having big difficulty w emotion regulation, mostly at school. Following the more recently popular parenting advice out there, I’d started putting big attention on identifying, talking

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anise

@AniseNot

8 months

What if I took a vacation all by myself? And just took long baths & ate dinner quietly & had a coffee at 4pm & stayed up late working on my embroidery & listened to audiobooks & no one could comment on how I was spending my time What if I did that

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

I had family try to guilt me into an ugly family nursing chair & I hurt many feelings by refusing I did not want it. I wanted my perfect looking baby nursery. I bought a super uncomfy blue velvet chair & ottoman that was way less comfy than the family chair, but so cute & I

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

If you are a married woman with children (especially small children) & you don’t have your own secret Emergency Fund where you regularly hide small undetectable amounts of money, you’re a fool

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

We're gonna need private baby changing areas aren't we?

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

The happy family

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anise

@AniseNot

2 months

Spending time with some new kids & ordered delivery pizza but then their mom seemed annoyed when I told her & placed an order for her own pizzas because her kids “like a different kind of crust” than what we ordered You guys this is so weird

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

Pretty sure she even said “My sister thinks you’re cute” then walked away & left them to talk it out

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

@TriplePineAcres I think I will, every time I think about it I feel furious

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

Infants are easier than toddlers I will die on this hill

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

The 2 trans in my corner of twitter I gave a small digital chance to—that ended up being arrested for cp—totally disabused me of any lingering hope of decency for men who wear dresses

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

People love to hate California but anyone actually from CA will be haunted by its mystique & beauty for years after, while the people I know from NV or PA or OH can walk away with nothing but the deep seated knowledge they will happily never return ever again

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anise

@AniseNot

10 days

Huge ass tweet, warning My son who has been “top 3 naughty kids” at his 2 previous schools absolutely thriving after a month at the private gifted school He’s reading on his own, writing legibly, advanced to a higher level of math, taught himself chess, speaking basic Spanish,

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

@BuffaloByGodDan @Cinnabon 😂🙏🏻

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anise

@AniseNot

8 months

Willful amnesia of similar behaviors during Beatle Mania, Elvis’s whole fandom, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, Hanson Are the men so upset bc the young girls are losing it over a female entertainer this time?? Can they handle girls being excited

Will ✧

@willnotclap

8 months

Taylor Swift has destroyed this generation 💀

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anise

@AniseNot

22 days

I have 4 friends with severely autistic children. Doesn't that seem like too many? I don't know that many people

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

@whenwehaveeyes It doesn’t even register to me as perfectionist mommy content It is literally just a girl dressing up & filming a bit for social media

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

I think he’s saying men want to have so many children they get to enjoy seeing their teen daughter playing with her baby sister

Dimes Square Degenerate

@EBITDAddyLBO

9 months

Men only want one thing and it’s this

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

Just so we are clear, gentlemen: Simply retiring your wife is no longer sufficient Financially supporting her in a money-losing vanity business is now the Ultimate Man Flex

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anise

@AniseNot

19 days

Women to women: “Why aren’t women having more children?” Same women: “IF YOU DON’T DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO BREASTFEED ON DEMAND FOR 18+ MONTHS INCLUDING DRASTICALLY CONTROLLED LIMITED DIET, PUMPING EVERY 2 HOURS ROUND THE CLOCK, GAINING EXCESSIVE WEIGHT, DEPRESSION, MANIA,

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

Groceries have doubled & most clothing is made of horrifically weird fabric that I can hardly bear to touch with my fingers The world is so much worse than it was 3 years ago

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

She will never leave him

Kevin → Plant Daddy

@KevinEspiritu

9 months

Men, this is how hyped you should be when your girl makes you stuff

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

If you have a crowded messy house that never stays clean & you want to change that, the first thing you must do is clear out the storage spaces Start with the garage or sheds. Get rid of everything you don’t really need to keep. Throw out trash. Do not store things for others.

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

Almost no focus put on his emotions & regulation methods. Big focus on his interests, activities, achievements, basically anything outside of his own head It would appear that when he is not constantly being consulted on his feelings, he tends to just move out of fits & funks

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

@allseeingpinkey No, no. Am absolutely certain the grown man walking around in women’s clothing, with visible facial hair, using the women’s restroom in an empty area with a men’s restroom available is the one actually in the wrong here

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anise

@AniseNot

4 months

@thechosenberg Because if they loved something & ate all of it you will go buy much more of it & they will never eat it again This is the known rule of feeding children

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

The most crushing realization for me AS A WOMAN, was that no one was gonna bail me out. There is no rock. No man was ever gonna show up with some beautiful vision for the future & make everything ok. Not even my dad. I was gonna have to make the plans & figure it all out for

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

If a woman stops sleeping with her husband it’s bc she’s not into him anymore She might love him, but she’s not “in love” & likely repulsed by him in some way That’s just the truth He can woo her again & she will start doing it with him, or do nothing, grow resentful & cheat

Billem Dafoe

@Billem_DaFoe

8 months

This happens to so many men. I know a guy going through it right now but he refuses to cheat and instead is always angry with his wife and resents his family. I told him, he’d be a better dad and husband if he just found a release. Even just one offs on business trips would do.

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

(& I chose the man not the bear, I'm no lilting flower)

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

One of my sister’s husbands seemed like the most perfect man, she met him at church, our parents had been friends forever, very good family. She was a 23yr old Cindy Crawford doppelgänger with a ~$200k inheritance in her pocket They fell in love, quickly had 2 kids together. It

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

When I go see a doctor while uninsured they’re like “I just need make sure you’re aware this visit will cost $230 if you’re paying out of pocket…” And I’m like “Well that’s cool I can easily afford it because I’m not paying $1200/mo for family health insurance + copays”

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

The elites don’t want you to know that you can literally make your kid a milkshake & put egg yolks & coconut or peanut butter & heavy cream & protein powder in it & they will consume 500+ extra calories of nutrients every day while thinking they’re having dessert, esp w sprinkles

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anise

@AniseNot

4 months

Fr if you think sexual thoughts when you see these photos please seek Canadian healthcare

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

Can’t wait for women like this give birth lol, you’re in for a surprise sweetheart

Tarah Talk

@tarahtalk

5 months

@ClosingScore @stillgray According to the Mayo Clinic, it’s safe for women to exercise a couple of days after giving birth. Although, I suspect the problem had been long-standing before she gave birth. Because, you know, feminism. .

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

@ClawYousay Yes that’s the part that perplexes me, many people genuinely don’t seem to realize this is acting, it is fiction

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anise

@AniseNot

2 years

@JesseKellyDC

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anise

@AniseNot

8 months

My friend was Joan. She was English. Became a nanny in Norway as a young teen in the 1950s. Liked to tell me about her wild travels & the handsome gypsy guys she dated when she was younger. She loved Django Reinhardt & Adele. Smoked like a chimney & loved a cheap bottle of red

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anise

@AniseNot

28 days

I’m gonna tell you guys about the sweetest thing My 6yr old has a paraplegic great aunt on his dad’s side who lives in another state. Her husband who is also paraplegic has been in between hospital & nursing home having extreme health issues that aren’t resolving & has mostly

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

One time I went on a week long backpacking through the mountains with 2 guys. Another girl was supposed to come but she had a mental breakdown the week before They were both very strong & fast hikers. I have stamina but not always fast. I tried to keep up, but was clearly slower

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

As a lifelong “Vote Blue no Matter Who” Democrat I have decided to vote for Trump this election

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anise

@AniseNot

2 years

In my town they closed the forest THEY CLOSED THE FOREST How can one man tell another man they are not allowed to walk in the forest? How is this something anyone thinks is within the power of one human to enforce on another?

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

People claiming women have “always been this size” clearly never had a vintage clothing addiction Almost impossible to do if you’re the modern average size

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anise

@AniseNot

7 months

@zephray_wenting Why did I just read this whole thing as if I had any idea at all what you were talking about

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anise

@AniseNot

10 days

@nealjclark1 My older brother’s girlfriend Annika, they met in the woods, they wore thrifted corduroy coats, she is still imprinted in my mind as the coolest girl ever

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

Am I really supposed to have kids breakfasted & rested & dressed & dropped off at a location within 5miles of my home by 7:45ish every weekday morning for the next 15yrs of my life? No wonder my parents took us out of schools so often & quit sending me entirely by 7th grade

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

Today this small corner of twitter banded together in the heroic effort of getting me a free Cinnabon & I am so honored you guys 🥹

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

Women used to be thinner bc they would eat like a soft boiled egg & a single piece of wheat toast for breakfast If they got jiggly they skipped dinner It wasn’t rocket science & probably not even seed oils. Seeds oils just made mass quantity tasty fried foods super accessible

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

I was raised by nannies & daycares It sucked. Have this memory of being like 3 & sitting inside my mom’s closet wrapped in her robe, smelling her smell, missing her so completely bc she was gone on a work trip for weeks Some sad shit. Don’t do that to your kids

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

My face when he asks me if I drank any water today

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

Ran into a girl I know today, pregnant mom of a little toddler, 3rd trimester, & she managed about 3 polite sentences before she broke down bawling. Hasn’t slept in weeks, kid being a terror. So I convinced her to send her kid to my house for a sleepover So I have 3 kids tonight

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

I tweeted during our tablet trials with my kid. We had moved close to my family for the first time since he was born. My family was getting annoyed he was so energetic while all their kids were sedate (they were pacified with their screens). They actually bought him an iPad. We

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

@siriusandlucy I am offended by a person from a population subset with such a high instance of pedophilia looking at my baby’s naked buns

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

My life was relentless teasing & minor humiliations from siblings & then being told by my mother “You are not cute. You will never be a cheerleader. You are sturdy Slavic farm stock” The best compliment my mother ever gave in my childhood was “You have classic features” Grandma

🧊impossible princess ♨️ (Remastered Edition)

@therapykiss777

3 months

wonder how the mass thought experiment of never calling your daughter beautiful or pretty is going to go

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anise

@AniseNot

18 days

Been waving to the nice looking stroller mommy walking the neighborhood every morning, feeling like I should introduce myself. Today I almost did, but as I got close I realized there is a dog in that stroller

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

No one really wants a bad dog which is why shelters are always full You can’t blame anyone for not wanting to sign up for 15yrs of raising an unpredictable animal with the power to kill them Just my humble opinion Stop guilting people for responsibly dog shopping instead of

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

@bluthwayne77 It's been over an hour already, but I will definitely be more prepared next time

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anise

@AniseNot

3 years

I just traded an actual goat for a home inspection—who tf am I even?

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anise

@AniseNot

10 months

My parents have been married almost 45yrs Dad has always stressed that you will eventually deal with major bullshit from any relationship. As his friends were leaving their old wives & getting new young wives he would shudder & say “Now he has to train a new one” lol His advice

bird

@oliveegger

10 months

I think the idea that “soulmates” are your perfect match and everything should be easy in a relationship with your soulmate is incredibly damaging to normal, potentially beneficial romantic relationships

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anise

@AniseNot

10 days

This is basically just me pontificating about mother’s intuition I had this bright beautiful kid who was doing so poorly & I knew it was the environment, not him Finally assessed the options, got him into a good situation no matter the consequence & now he’s thriving THIS IS

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

The happy update is she’s a very successful happy single woman who can’t seem to settle down with a new guy no matter how much $$ or good looks they have & she owns 4 houses & regularly takes extended luxury vacations with her kids (who all love her) so she’s doing really good

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

It’s unfortunate my generation was raised on a steady diet of “YOU ARE A UNIQUE GIFT!! YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!! IF YOU CAN DREAM IT YOU CAN DO IT” hype This is at least half the root of prevailing depression & anxiety among adults “But but but—you said I was special 😭 you

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anise

@AniseNot

8 months

Oh! And she saw an irl actual flying saucer in rural England when she was 14

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anise

@AniseNot

11 months

Kid’s school has an Absolutely No Costumes Whatsoever policy on Halloween but we arrive at drop off & the entire staff are wearing costumes So the kids can’t, but the adults do?? 🤔 What fun killing retard came up with this evil rule?

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

The best way to keep kids out of the weirdo shit as they grow, is to keep them active & confident in things that interest them so they don’t become a low self confidence sponge for whoever is the strongest personality in their sphere Hoping to raise kids impervious to peer

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anise

@AniseNot

6 months

@KILLTOPARTY This is where she needs to turn the tables & insist she wants him to be on the receiving end When he protests she asks why he’s being homophobic

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anise

@AniseNot

2 months

“Thank goodness I paid $100,000 over the last decade to keep up health insurance so I didn’t have to pay $25,000 for my hospital birth” It doesn’t add up you guys, take a look at the math

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anise

@AniseNot

2 months

same topping, not gluten free or anything, they just prefer thick crust apparently (her kids ate from both pizzas)

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anise

@AniseNot

2 years

@BunAndLeggings When my kid was a little over 2 he started asking me about “the people” “Mama who are the people who come into my room at night?” What do they do? “They talk to me & tell me I’m a good boy & ask me if I want to play with them” Terrifying stuff

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

Been finding a lot of acrylic nails sporadically around the yard. Can’t figure out where they come from. So today I find a pile of 7 acrylic nails on top of the little waterfall in the yard. I’m so confused about it, but forget it. This evening 5yr old pulls out a handful of fake

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

I’m not harping on this dude, however, double stroller + 1 in a baby sling & you’ve got this covered with like 1/1000 of the complication level

Tracy Beanz

@tracybeanz

5 months

ONLY a man could do this. And a damn good man at that. I love how men will invent and build something to solve any problem. My dad is like this. Amazing. ♥️

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anise

@AniseNot

19 days

I tell you the first time I gave my son a bottle of formula when he was 4months old & something like 6th percentile for growth (down from 25th) I couldn’t even watch. I closed myself in my room & bawled my eyes out like a psycho because I had failed him Now that he’s 6 & we have

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anise

@AniseNot

2 years

Knew this guy who was very depressed. Relationships never worked out, he was broke & miserable in his job. Burnt out training for higher positions. Never did very well He sold everything & disappeared. Later found out he’d gone to Seattle on a whim. Bought a hot dog cart off

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

A frustrating thing happening in the world is in day to day life at least half of the people I encounter are basically brain dead I swear it didn’t used to be like this Is it drugs? Is it phones? Has it always been like this & I’m just getting old & noticing it?

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

This one “mom” at kid’s school turns out to be “grandma”. Idk why she has custody of her grandkids, but she always seemed left out at parent functions. So I swapped numbers with her & we’re taking our kids to an activity on Friday She seemed so so so stoked & must’ve been bc

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anise

@AniseNot

2 years

I know giant butts are all the rage right now, but I like my compact Eastern European ass It is the ass of my people & I shall don it proudly

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anise

@AniseNot

5 months

Will never understand when Taco Bell comes up & people immediately saying like “Better clear out the bathroom” How? Why? It is some food, it’s pretty tasty. It’s like a tortilla & some cheese & tomatoes & lettuce & refried beans & ground beef with some thickeners & texturizers

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anise

@AniseNot

9 months

No one carries a thermos full of coffee around anymore People used to always be lugging around their thermos full of coffee Maybe I’ll start carrying around a thermos full of coffee

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anise

@AniseNot

3 months

Ok there was some drama on the local mom Fb bc one mom saw an 11yr old fishing alone & he hooked a small alligator & was headed to the water’s edge to try & salvage his tackle. The mom demanded he go back on the boardwalk & cut his line. He protested & she insisted until he

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anise

@AniseNot

15 days

Woman are actually so easy to understand, all we really want is to be relentlessly pursued to the point of obsession by a capable & attractive man with a well appointed waterfront home

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anise

@AniseNot

1 year

@LeaMaric Ok I was in a Reddit bumpers group for the month/year my son was born, these women were obsessed with being miserable & if you posted anything about being happy or not miserable, everyone would be like “This is insensitive to the members of the group that are less privileged”

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

Men are supposed to give women a house when they want to marry them Then she gets to make it pretty & she loves him forever & also loves her house

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anise

@AniseNot

7 days

If you learned how to couples dance properly & took your wife out for a little spin on the dance floor from time to time she would have sex with you way more often. I swear, just trust me on this one Also when you’re walking through a crowd with her, put your hand at the small

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anise

@AniseNot

1 month

I personally would like to see "Dad Twitter" where you guys all argue about what you're feeding your kids & whether or not it's child abuse to use plastic dishes or hire a babysitter to go shopping

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