*6 year old me showing social worker my action figures*
This is Randy Orton. This Undertaker. Here's Rey Mysterio. He's small but I like him best.
Social worker: do you like living just with your mom?
Me: *through gritted teeth* mom says I can't play with Chris Benoit anymore
Kissinger in Hell: The pendulum of scorn and praise is ever-swinging, young man. Those who condemn me enjoyed the fruits of my labor. In 100 years, my ultimate legacy will be my work with China far more than Cambodia.
Mac Miller looking guy from Euphoria: what is you talmbout
Nice group of friends bro, it'd be a real shame if the twin forces of time and circumstance were to erode your connections and turn you all into strangers
Talking to my 9 year old nephew: you will experience such unimaginable joy in your life
Talking to my 11 year old nephew: it doesn't always get better. Some of us are fucked
Talking to my 13 year old nephew: stop saying that word in rap songs man we're not allowed to
@catholicdad420
Every time I see one these tweets I think "this can't possibly resonate with actual human beings" and then I click and without fail it will have tens of thousands of likes.
@archivesdork
@Trillburne
He doesn't really get why Boston has its own baseball team when it's essentially a suburb of New York, and New York already has 2 teams. Just root for the Yankees or Mets if you live in Boston
I tell ya, my pals are calling me a cuck in the groupchat. They're saying I'd let them have sex with my wife. I'm like "Hey fellas, she don't even like it when you boys come over for dinner!"
@felixfromchapo
I remember when I first heard this on YouTube when i was 15 I was like "what is this gay bullshit" even though I kept on hitting repeat as soon as the song was done
Meet my best twitter friend. His @ is child_endangerer and he's on his 4th account for saying slurs and sending death threats. All he does is quote tweet teens posting bad mental health takes with the phrase "I'm inside your house." He's honestly the biggest sweetheart I know.
Person on here that's 31 talking to a 22 year old in chats:
oh is that a widdle baby? You have homework due tomorrow champ!
Same person in their DMs:
you're so mature for your age. I could start over with you. I could do it right this time.