Yomi Kazeem @TheYomiKazeem Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@Tom_Williams192

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@MrGud_Bussy

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@1Fatneff

@korn_176

@DecisionDeskHQ

@yukainaousama

@KHUXion112

Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

"Us that are on the queue, are we stupid?" - an angry Nigerian inside GTBank.

YabaLeftOnline

@yabaleftonline

2 years

If you’re good in English, start a sentence with “Us”

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

1 month

Nigerians before coming to Canada: I'm so grateful for Canada's immigration program. I hope my application is successful. Nigerians, after getting to Canada: the Canadian government needs to stop this immigration program. Too many people are coming here.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

3 years

Wife and I decided to outsource Christmas cooking this year. Food landed at 10am. Everybody don chop before noon. No stress And so by the power vested me in as the olori ebi of my household, I have decreed a new Christmas family tradition: no cooking whatsoever on Christmas day.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 months

Man City - Premier League Man Utd - FA Cup Liverpool - Carabao Cup Arsenal - "A journey to remember ❤️"

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Omo, Ojuelegba is blocked. An army convoy was turned back. I never see this kain thing before. 😭😭😭

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

"Politics is local" "Party structure" There's nothing profound about it. Just the ability to wield violence and weaponize poverty. May God punish all of them.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Our housekeeper just quit. Someone promised her a "good job" in Egypt. She has no idea what the job is, or who the employer is. My wife & I tried to verify details. She refused. Her pastor says it's a gift from God. She leaves on Friday. It's hard not to feel scared for her.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Na pastor wey follow protest #EndSARS go collect offering on Sunday. The rest can go and collect offering from IG of police.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Big Sheggz. Small votes.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

1 year

The gap between a pro and a regular player is wide like Atlantic Ocean. For instance, that Maguire that people constantly insult, if e catch you for monkey post? You go cry. The basic skill level required to play professional football is CRAZY.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Laycon FC. Let's go. Elemi lo ma last.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

@anesuxashley @Griffinreborn LMAOOOO. I thought the same thing! God knows why he doesn't give us these ideas. 🤣

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 months

Serubawon!!! Striker wey no dey wear shin guard. You think say na ordinary eyes?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Sarah Bellum

@tamsully12

2 years

WITHOUT GOOGLING Can you name a famous General?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

For the first time in my life, I saw someone preach about Christianity on a plane. [I've only ever seen this in public buses in Lagos.] It went well for the preacher. Until another Nigerian yelled at him: "Sit down and shut up! This is not a danfo." He sat down - and shut up.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

I've been married for 8 months. My meagre experience tells me marriage is more about compromise - big and small, on both sides - than about stubborn "take me as I am." In the end, find someone worth compromising for and whose compromises you can live with. Forget Twitter yarns

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

7 years

Gundogan tackles Wilshere. Both get up and walk away unhurt. A modern day miracle.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Nigerians have an abusive relationship with sound. At events, in restaurants, at bars, we have music on so loud we can't hear ourselves speak. It's often bad sound and speakers too. It's so foolish, yet so common. I can never understand it.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

99% of parenting is stopping children from killing themselves.

MR AHMED 🇳🇬

@UncleMohamz

4 years

Wow 😯 Sharp reflexes from the father

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Omo, nobody should paint Kidd as the bad guy because he can't give Erica what she wants o. When Erica didn't give Laycon what he wanted, na Laycon and him generations una insult. Keep the same energy, otherwise na Sango go kill you.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

In all this, Banky W's competence is simply assumed. Only because he is a celebrity. As if being a celebrity instantly translates into being a solid public servant. As if Desmond Elliot doesn't exist.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

If you're wondering how 72.5% of Nigerian prison inmates are serving time without a sentence, juts look at what happened yesterday. Young men, who did nothing, would have been framed for MURDER by the police, despite contrary video evidence. This is Nigeria. #SarsMustEnd

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

I hope Ozil and Bale stay at Arsenal and Madrid and milk their contracts. Clubs blacklist players who refuse to be sold but complain about players not respecting contracts when a player wants out. Ozil and Bale have nothing to prove. Stay. Milk your contract. Screw the clubs.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

If we're being honest about #Anikulapo , na Arolake spoil Saro life. The guy was on his own, building his clothing startup with seed funding from his sugar-mummy investor before the Queen brought her wahala and derailed his life. Can we all be honest about this?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 months

You sef wan win league? @Arsenal

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

That #GangsOfLagos fight scene between Obalola and Kazeem is hilarious. Someone tries to shoot you and realizes he's out of bullets. He then asks you to drop your gun and fight "like a man" and you...drop the gun??? I go first laugh for 10 minutes before I shoot.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

8 days

This generation is obsessed with the aesthetics of everything, not the actual thing itself. Love. Marriage. Travel. Food. Friendship etc.

Charms

@The_amakaaa

8 days

So many people obsessed with the aesthetic of love & relationships, not enough people putting in the effort to grow and nurture love & relationships 🙃

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

3 years

Anyone that knows Maduka Okoye should please tell him not to publish any public apology. It's a thing footballers do these days, and while it might be well-intentioned, there's really no need for one.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

If a man says half of the things Erica said to Laycon on national TV tonight, all of our TLs will look very different - regardless of how justified his motivations were. I think that a simple fact we can all agree on.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

9 months

"Pep should go to Roma, let's see how he will perform." "If Jose was at City, he can do what Pep is doing." Ladies and gentlemen, Jose being at Roma and Pep being at City did not happen by accident. Stop using imagination to torture yourself.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

One way to improve our mental health is to #EndSARS .

LSMOH

@LSMOH

4 years

Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay ! In Lagos, we remain committed to improving access to Mental Healthcare & ensuring that all people have access to services that will promote their mental health. #MentalHealth #MentalHealth4All @followlasg @jidesanwoolu @ProfAkinAbayomi @LagosMiND

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

DJ Cuppy stopped supporting Arsenal and its been greatness since. This is why you should never support a club that has never won the Champions League.

Cuppy

@cuppymusic

4 years

REVEAL! As @ManUtd fan, I’m PROUD to be a part of their official jersey campaign! ⚽️ READY FOR THE NOISE! #GGMU 🔊🔴 #ReadyForSport #CreatedWithAdidas @AdidasFootball

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 years

Day 10 in isolation: my wife has been begging to pierce my ear because my earlobe "feels like it will be sweet to pierce." Nobody said anything in marriage counselling about things like this.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

The Vee hate is illogical. The girl was herself in the house - what did she do that was so horrible? We've seen people with worse manners come on this show and you people carried them on your heads. But Vee is where you draw the line? Una no serious.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Hi @ManUtd , every time my daughter watches a ManUtd game, we win. Every. Single. Time. But the game tonight is way past her bedtime. In other words, you're on your own. Good luck and God speed.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Saying Laycon is only popular/being voted for because of the Erica thing is being shamelessly dishonest sha. To achieve this level of popularity across different social classes, online and offline, in such a short time is incredible. Omo Ologo.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 months

I used the word "dithering" on a work call with a Nigerian colleague yesterday, and both of us just started laughing.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Nengi has great spirit, even (or especially?) when she loses. And it's a lesson to be honest: her game could have been derailed by different misconceptions about her. But her personality has slowly shone through. Love to see it.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

These housemates are super silly for letting Neo and Vee play Bonnie & Clyde with their destinies. You're there hustling for N85m, two people are playing Love Is Blind and you're letting them?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

3 years

Penalties are tricky things. You'll pick a spot in your head and your leg will just do what it likes. I scored one penalty in Babcock, off the top corner crossbar and in. Till tomorrow, I don't know how I placed it there. Boys dey hail me say my penalty mad, me sef dey nod. 😂

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

7 months

He's talking to you during a game? That's true love.

whoriffic

@tempwhoriffic

7 months

you can be talking serious things with a man over the phone and you'll just hear him shout "GOALLLLLLL"

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

It's not turning anybody into anything. Simply revealing things about them.

‘Tunde Omotoye

@TundeTASH

2 years

I don’t like what politics is turning some of you into.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Third straight game we've conceded from a corner. This is God punishing us for that stupid One Corner rubbish that some of you were doing.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

I'm voting for Groovy based on his pitch. He sold himself. He gets my votes. 👍🏽

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Nigerian HR folks never miss a chance to play god. Carry the job to heaven. Nonsense upon ingredient.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

When all the giggles and laughs are done, I hope you realise that it's very weird to describe other people's partners as clowns, unprovoked.

Jola

@Jollz

2 years

If you like continue retweeting Michelle Obama’s relationship advice to make yourselves feel better. I will sha remind you that the clown you are with is not Barrack so you better know what you are doing. You’re welcome. Don’t mention

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

600 years for Illicic's wife.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Do you what's mad about living in Nigeria? A trailer explosion will kill 100 people today yet there will be no kind of policy check to avoid a repeat. That means another trailer explosion WILL kill 100 another day. Staying alive in this country is literally a lottery.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 years

My #IsolationXI . Legends Edition.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

SARS officers kidnapped and robbed me back in 2012. It left me traumatized for months. They threatened to take me to Epe and "dump" me there. I got out alive and unharmed, but many do not. #EndSARS #EndSarsProtests

Eromo Egbejule

@EromoEgbejule

7 years

My good man @TheYomiKazeem writes on being kidnapped by #SARS and on what we already know - that the Nigerian police and its units employ needless brutal force way too much.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

If you've lost a parent and you're watching this BBNaija presentation tonight, I'm sending you love. ❤

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Qatar, what did you put in your stew?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

If John Ogu doesn't start at the World Cup, we're going to scatter everything. Gernot Rohr will tell us whether this is his country or our country.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 years

Ighalo for score make tomorrow be public holiday.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Nobody at Arsenal can boldly say Ozil didn't make a 25-man squad because for footballing reasons. They need to come clean and stop looking silly. Because every time Arsenal lose and evidently lack creativity in the final third, the Ozil question will pop up.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

7 years

You all need to thank me. #Marvel

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Football heartbreak happens on a steady sha. Your club will lose and you will dodge highlights for one full week. You'll leave Supersport and be watching National Geographic like say you be Tarzan.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Pastor Fred. You are blessed.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Croatia no get God?

House On The Rock

@HouseOnTheRock

6 years

We declare over the Super Eagles of Nigeria and NFA, that God will lift up the light of His countenance upon them, the heaven will favour their cause, they will bring forth excellence and God will give them victory after victory in Jesus name. #BecomeYourVision

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Another person's success isn't your failure. Be happy for others.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

9 months

PDP boys have more smoke for Obi than Wike is among the top 2 most hilarious things about Nigeria - and it's not No. 2.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Take note of how politicians are responding to the people they serve. Take note of all that is going on right now. They will come and ask for our votes in 2023. We will remind them. #EndSARS

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

My friend lost her job last week for not having a NYSC certificate. Nigeria's president, known for his "anti-corruption" stance, has been silent on allegations that his finance minister forged her NYSC certificate. The minister still has her job. This is Nigeria.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Saudi Arabia minimum wage: N305,000. Nigeria minimum wage: N30,000.

Muhammadu Buhari

@MBuhari

4 years

Further afield, Egypt charges N211 per litre. Saudi Arabia charges N168 per litre. It makes no sense for oil to be cheaper in Nigeria than in Saudi Arabia.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

My mother died on my birthday. Words can't express the pain and emptiness I feel. It was a long goodbye and I'm grateful for the life she lived. I also know she's in a better place. But I still don't know how to deal with this. It is well. Rest in peace and glory, Iya Lati.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

3 years

I've been having conversations with friends and family, trying to rethink my life goals and figure out the things that matter most to me. And, after deep thinking, I've realized that all I want in life is for Yinka Ayefele to hail me in one of his songs. 🙏🏿

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 months

Condolences to Thierry Henry on missing out on his first trophy as a manager. It's his latest failure as a coach since he kicked me out of the New York Red Bulls dressing room in 2014. It won't be his last. 🙏🏾

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

For folks asking: it was an international flight. Preacher was a Nigerian man. Person who asked preacher to shut up was a Nigerian woman.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

10 months

For 150k ticket right now, the plane will pick you up at Ikeja airport and drop you at Epe.

Sandra Ezekwesili

@SEzekwesili

10 months

Today in 2012. Round trip ticket on Emirates for this trip was 150k.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

7 years

"You're lucky because De Gea saved you" Rubbish talk. Was he supposed to save Arsenal?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

It was this same Arolake that suggested Saro should start resurrection business o. My guy wanted to relaunch his startup and work hard, but Arolake was fully determined to finish him. What a pity 💔

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Be careful what you consume. I'm not dissing Zikoko's work and I'm not saying all marriages are blissful, but if you only read stuff about toxic, bad marriages/experiences, it's not ideal. As bad marriages plenty, na so good, happy marriages plenty. God go help all of us.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

It's especially ironic that Arsenal are doing this to a player who wants to stay after years of crying about Fabregas, Van Persie and co. leaving. Bro @MesutOzil1088 , collect your full salary. You've got nothing to prove. Just sit in the stands with your umbrella #YaGunnersYa

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

1 year

It's my birthday. It's usually the most difficult day of my year, but today, I choose happiness. ❤️ Say a prayer for me if you see this!

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Guys, I've done the permutations. Nigeria will qualify. Listen. We'll beat Iceland. Croatia will draw v Argentina. Croatia 4 pts Nigeria 3 Arg. 2 Iceland 1 We'll draw vs Argentina. Croatia will draw Iceland Croatia 5 pts Nigeria 4 Arg. 2 Iceland 2 Can I get an amen?

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

I don't think it's a penalty if a player *unintentionally* nods the ball against his own hand. But if you're really looking for something to be mad about, be mad about Ighalo missing that chance after the ball fell to him. Forget this referee talk.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

My favourite thing about Lukaku is how madly he celebrates other people's goals.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Arsenal fans: "We have a game in hand" The game in hand:

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Worship your own, let others worship their own. Who made you class captain of Nigeria?

Lungu Daddy

@Yemzine

6 years

Falz is the kind of allround talent that you should be "worshipping", but no, you like soco soco baby o

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 months

I'm confused by people attacking John Terry for this. Why exactly should the captain and first team players fly in economy on a 13-hour flight while academy kids fly first class? What logic supports that?

Out of Context Football Manager

@nocontextfm1

6 months

If people think players in Football Manager are unreasonable. This is John Terry talking about how AVB lost the dressing room at Chelsea… because they refused to go in economy.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

1 year

If Victor Osimhen was your brother, which airline would you advise him to fly with to Saudi Arabia?

Football Daily

@footballdaily

1 year

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Al Hilal have made an offer worth €140m to Napoli for striker Victor Osimhen The wages on offer for Osimhen are in the region of £1m per week

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

1 year

A lot of people don't understand this but streaming services getting broadcast rights to live football/sports over cable services is a net negative for fans. In Canada, I need 3-4 different streaming apps just to watch the football content that DStv offers in one bundle.

Nnamdi “Enyi” Azodo 🐘

@SimplyAzodo

1 year

Dear @netflix Could you please buy the rights to broadcast the English Premier League matches in Nigeria so no one would have to endure @DStvNg 's terrible customer service. Thank you in advance.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

Life hack: marry a kind person.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

After my mum died, phone calls gave me MAD anxiety—I was terrified of more bad news. My sister clocked it and started phone conversations with "Nothing is wrong, I'm fine, don't worry." It made a world of difference. ❤ If you have anxiety issues, I pray it passes. God dey. 🙏🏿

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Tobi Amusan broke the world record twice. But only the first record will count because the second one was "wind assisted." I did a short note on what wind assistance means in sprint races and why it matters.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Her behavior was shameful. And she fully deserved to be disqualified. Adults should take responsibility for their actions and be accountable, not infantilized. She may become the most successful housemate ever—it won't erase, or justify, her actions and behavior last night.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Ademola Ojabodu, @oxladeofficial 's manager, would have been falsely charged with MURDER but for video footage evidence emerging from Twitter. My latest @qzafrica piece on how young Nigerians are using social media to fight fake news around ongoing protests. 👇🏾 #EndSARS

Quartz Africa

@qzafrica

4 years

Young Nigerian protesters are using social media to dispel misinformation from traditional media #EndSARS #EndSWAT via @qzafrica

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

My 19 month old daughter can now count from 1 -10. But she always leaves out number 9. Having given it a lot of thought, I'd like to announce that number 9 is dead to me and no longer exists in my household. It's the only logical conclusion. My daughter is never wrong.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

To the glory of God—and the eternal shame of bachelors, The Yomi Kazeem Jollof™ came alive once again today. DM for my world-class recipe. We rise by lifting others.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

9 months

Ola Aina is a fine player. He should be playing at Champions League level consistently.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Luka Modric at 27: Zero trophies [outside Croatia]. Luka Modric at 37: 21 trophies, two World Cup medals, one Ballon D'Or.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 years

People leaving Nigeria for Canada—and other Western countries—say they're doing it for their children. That's why Nigeria’s ongoing middle-class brain drain is costing the country two generations in one swoop. My @qzafrica story:

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

3pm. Me: Babe, I'm making grilled Turkey, do you want some? Wife: No. 4pm. Babe, I'm marinating Turkey, do you want some? Wife: No 5pm. Babe, I'm nearly done with the grilled Turkey, do you want some. Wife: No. 6.40pm. Wife: Yomi, where is my grilled Turkey? WHY?????????

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

It's my last day at @qz / @qzafrica . It's been 5 years, 1,093 published stories, [hundreds of charts!] and lots of learning. Special thanks to @YinkaWrites who took a chance on me in 2015. Yinka is an incredible boss & an even better human.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

6 years

A new football season is about to start. - Try not to insult people because they disagree with your opinion. Your opinion isn't law. - Try not to insult people in the name of "banter." Because, in the end, football really isn't that serious. Cheers.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

7 years

See FIFA, forget story. Just count this match as our first group game at the World Cup and give us three points. We'll continue the rest by June.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

4 years

Update: I'm joining @SalientAdvisory to build market intelligence on health tech startups and innovation in Africa. I'm looking forward to a new path and excited about sharing insight, and stories of health-focused innovation across the continent, with our global clients.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

Live eviction show: 2 mins of eviction, 58 minutes of time wasting.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

2 years

A football fan can just say "Agueroooooooooooooooooo" and like two billion people will know the exact moment being talked about. Tennis will never match that.

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Yomi Kazeem

@TheYomiKazeem

5 years

Run away from any church where they treat the pastor like a deity.

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