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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore) Profile
Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)

@TheNewsAtGlenn

50,599
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923
Following
2,353
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13,298
Statuses

Comedian, and nephew to three gorgeous uncles. Enquiries: CGagon @avalonuk .com

Joined November 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TheNewsAtGlenn
Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Here’s a topical joke from 406 days ago.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Did…did a minotaur write this
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Whitney Houston saying ‘and’ VS Whitney Houston saying ‘I’
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
They pour the worst damn pints in Cheers I’m losing my mind
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 month
BOSS: Have you sorted the competition prize money? £12,000 isn’t it? ME [CLEARLY WEARING A BRAND NEW £76 BANDANA]: Yeh something like that
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Well this is a fucking accident waiting to happen
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Bolognese are coming Bolognese are coming
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
All I'm saying is, if I were a billionaire, I'd tell all my aspiring rivals that the secret to success was getting up at 4am.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 years
I quoted the line ‘They were no longer little girls. They were little women’ in a school essay and found out later it wasn’t in the book and it was just something Moe said
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Just remembered that weird bit in Gladiator when he has to fight a Bafta
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
6 years ago I spent €30 to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower just to do this and it got about 4 likes.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 years
Taken my girlfriend to see the Spice Girls for her birthday and it’s just sinking in that I’ve now got to watch the Spice Girls
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
[Extremely Q voice] Oh, and 007? Do try not to cum whilst playing this game
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 months
Not letting my family eat until they’ve guessed the punchline. We are starving.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 years
Who blons a dumb de now, eh? WHO BLONS A DUMB DE NOW? http://t.co/9l4QRKf4Vr
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 years
Do not - I repeat - do NOT, even out of curiosity, pull the handle on the side of your toilet. I just did, and a gush of water’s erased everything. A lifetime’s turd collection, gone.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
Guy on the phone in the cafe this morning suddenly switched to French when I sat near him. Clearly didn’t want any eavesdroppers. Thought I’d surprise him, so as I went to leave I leaned in and in perfect French just casually said “I like to play football with my brother”
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Susie Dent’s word of the day tweets are amazing because they’re always a subtle little dig at someone
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
Cracking up here
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 month
You’ve failed to identity the body? My deepest johndoelences
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
The Harry & Meghan documentary is just bombshell after bombshell
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
Watch from start
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Once a year or so I’ll dedicate maybe half an hour to staring at Donald Trump’s dad’s horizontal ears
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Sorry to hear the village fete's been cancelled. My deepest tombolances.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Spotify Wrapped should let you know in like October where things currently stand so you’ve got time to make amends. It feels like fucking A-level results day.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Absolutely certain Will Smith has never said this
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
7 years
8 maids a-milking 7 swans a-swimming 6 geese a-laying
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 months
ARAGORN: Are you frightened? FRODO: Yes. ARAGORN: Not nearly frightened enough- FRODO: Ok well what the fuck was I meant to say then
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 year
Another day thinking of that Dominos advert where five mates are sharing two medium pizzas. Ooo yeah just the one slice for me for my entire dinner please
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Never been so scared of towels.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Why’s it called Death On The Nile and not Murder She Boat
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
8 years
Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
WASHING MACHINE: Finished! WASHING MACHINE DOOR: But I’m not ;)
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
The weirdest part of any Christmas song is when Paul McCartney goes ‘The choir of children sing their song, they practised ALL YEAR long’ and then it turns out it’s just them saying ‘ding dong’ a few times
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
*Papa Roach voice* TOOK MY WIFE AND TWO NIECES TO DISNEYLAND RESORT
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 months
God my seats are shit
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Got engaged, got a Domino’s
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
Lovely moment of English spirit on the train. A guy got on and shouted "I've just got off the phone with football...IT'S COMING HOME!" And a packed carriage full of strangers, all from different walks of life, who'd just witnessed history, collectively just ignored him. Dickhead
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 months
It’s sad to think there was a day where my dad picked me up and put me on his shoulders for what would be the last time. It was 3 weeks ago and it immediately killed him.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 years
Share if you think Britain was better in the olden days!
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 years
Why is the 'Old MacDonald' song in the past tense? What happened?
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
Ian Wright's shirt has got great wifi signal
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
God my seats are shit
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
GB News looks like when an ITV drama has a newsflash and they’re not allowed to make it look too realistic in case it confuses viewers
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 year
Oh not Rolf Harris, he used to love me when I was a kid
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
8 years
I like to think that's just how she walks.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
Well, regardless of how this Edinburgh Fringe goes, I know I’ve always got Mock The Week. Now to take a big sip of coffee and read the news.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Here's a topical joke from 1945.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
8 years
AMAZING! This guy took a photo of himself every day for two days:
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
My rule is that if I wasn’t invited to someone’s wedding, they’re not invited to mine and I don’t care if that upsets my parents
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Just time for a quick coffee at the pumpkin cafe
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Can’t watch Netflix anymore because my ex-girlfriend’s brother hasn’t paid his subscription. Sort your life out mate
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Disgusting.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 months
This doesn’t feel anywhere near as bad as going to school two hours early in 2002 to watch England get knocked out by Brazil and then immediately having an hour of DT.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
7 years
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 year
Keep ringing mountain rescue to help me but my nearest What3Words are “Sorry False Alarm” and “Genuinely I’m Fine”
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
. @chortle Hello, could you possibly change this image please as I’ve had worried relatives and friends get in touch concerned that I was in Benidorm
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Brooklyn Beckham’s wedding. So hard to photograph but incredible to see
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
9 years
I hate it when you try to buy a box of Sun-Maid raisins, but accidentally purchase Chairman Mao's Little Red Book.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Sorry can someone explain to me how the caption round works please
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 years
I'm absolutely certain Will Smith has never said this: http://t.co/2Q6jL0bTem
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
If I’m late for tonight’s tour show in Leicester it’s because I followed this van five minutes out of my way to the nearest traffic lights so I could get this photo
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Finally watching The Irishman the way Scorsese intended
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
9 years
[Starbucks Job Interview] BOSS: Thanks for coming in today. I'm Graham, by the way. ME: Did you just say 'Glahan'? BOSS: Welcome aboard.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
7 months
“Until somebody builds a bigger Narstie”
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
9 years
When you've got a ton of work to do by Derek, and it's already quarter to Linda:
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
My (31M) girlfriend (30) went on holiday and she (38) broke into a tomb and I don’t know why she (98) did it but I think she (203) drank from the wrong grail
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
There’s a salon near me called Swanky and I’ve just spent 5 minutes trying to align the lamppost and shop awning like an Uncharted puzzle
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
There are only two kinds of World Cup dad: Alarmingly deluded: "Germany won the last one but we beat them 5-1 so technically we're best in the world." Insanely defeatist: "There's not a single England player who'd make Tunisia's squad." Both are direct quotes from my dad.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
As if I just got ID’d here
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
9 years
I just really get the feeling sometimes that Donald Trump doesn't know what dogs are.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 year
Do you remember in the early 2000s every birthday card was just an old-timey stock photo with a caption like “Janice had just done a shit!”
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
My girlfriend thinks I take crazy golf way too seriously but my caddy disagrees.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
I have made the difficult decision to retire from Mock The Week. That’s right, tonight’s episode will be my last. I wish the show the very best for every future episode.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
No, I actually said "Grabn't them by the pussy."
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
My name is basically just Field Field
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 years
Twitter bios that mention relatives never speak about older generations. You never see 'Nephew to three gorgeous uncles'.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
8 years
Video games have taught me that I'll eventually be able to upgrade my weapon to get through here.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
4 years
Her head's fallen off! Quick! Call an Annboleynce.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
11 hours in and I’ve just realised I’m in the wrong queue
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
8 years
There's a line in Parklife that fits with pretty much every other song.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
Why have they written this as if someone’s pissed on them
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
God my seats are shit
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
If you're watching a 90s movie set in Manhattan, my dad's available for hire to point at the screen and solemnly mutter 'Twin Towers'.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
1 year
[Beastie Boys voice] Horsey, horsey, don't you STOP Just let your feet go clipity CLOP
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
Wrote some riddles to really annoy your family this Easter
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Can someone tell me what the arrow in the top left means please, is it location services?
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 months
oh no
@TUVonline
TUV
5 months
The TUV/Reform UK candidate for Mid Ulster is Glenn Moore
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
"If it wasn't for them we'd all be speaking German now" is how I describe my school's exceptionally bad languages department
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
Ok I’m not sure how to articulate this but J.K Simmons always looks like he used to have a moustache
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
7 years
He's not even fucking trying anymore.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
2 years
You should be allowed to speak at regular volume at galleries. Oh sorry did I talk over your painting? fuck off
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
If you need to get in touch with me, my email address is justmyfullnamesothatsglennmoorewithanunderscoreinthemiddleatgmaildotcom @gmail .com
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
SHOPKEEPER: It's 10 pence for a bag. ME: Oh, no thanks. *Shopkeeper slaps my brand new goldfish into my open palm*
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
5 years
I eat leftovers I could have saved for tomorrow, and demolish my weekly food shop in a day, but my god do I respect the order of the advent calendar.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
10 months
lol the snowman end credits can’t even spell reindeer right
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
I can't work out if this card is for a good occasion or a very, very bad situation.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
6 years
"Oh, an email" - me, the second after I send an email to myself, every single fucking time.
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
3 years
The Gruffalo could really do with frosted bathroom windows
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Glenn Moore (Insta: @glennrogermoore)
11 months
My wife specifically asked if I could tweet a sincere one
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