Uncensored Barbie @TheMamasaurus Twitter profile

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@Erna_Genduts69

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

A woman at the grocery store, who upon seeing my daughter’s blue eyes asked where she got them from, looked at both me and my husband, and then actually said out loud “did the milk man visit your mom?” What the actual fuck lady.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 months

Hope everyone is having a great Mother’s Day. I did the grocery shopping alone w/ my child & now we’re doing laundry. My husband left for the day bc he’s butthurt that I didn’t do enough for his birthday despite getting him the meal, cake, and presents he wanted. So loved. 🥰

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@AmberLaser_ This is an excellent response

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@OKAYYYWOWWW Biggest Ew

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@Jillian75111496 Those were the 40 scenarios that ran through my mind too, and to say that in front of the child is even more fucked up. Dumb people.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@FrannyTrip People are so weird. 1) Why do they care? 2) What does it matter?

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Any other vaccinated individuals still wear a mask when you’re out, because you just can’t bring yourself to not, yet?

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@TheMamasaurus

5 months

Now I’m “a sad excuse of a person”

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@NickVsTheWorld

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

At conferences today we actually had a parent say: “Don’t get me wrong, I care about academics, but how is [my son] being a good citizen in the classroom? Is he helping others, being a good role model, etc.” I mean WOW. I’m still in shock. That’s the stuff we need more of 🙌🏼

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@gloww_babyy I thought all of this too; so inconsiderate on multiple levels

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Apparently unpopular opinion: I’m not mad at teachers for making this stuff. Teachers are being forced into this situation. They aren’t advocating for this environment. Teachers must still greet their students with kindness and warmth despite the circumstances of the 20-21 year.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@doughnut_whole Yeah that joke should stay in that century

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@TheMamasaurus

2 years

I’m struggling to dress myself as a 33-year-old woman. I feel like things are designed for either young adults or they’re super matronly. I don’t want to dress like I’m 20 or like I’m 50. What am I even supposed to dress like at this age?

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@BreezyThatB Uhhh yeah. I didn’t even laugh back, just a stern “no” and I turned around. Like wtf.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 years

Daylight savings time sucks for a number of reasons & if we’re not going to get rid of it, can we at least petition not to make it a Sunday that becomes affected, therefore affecting a school night? Move this shit to a Friday night so we can figure it out over the weekend.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

7w4d, little Bean’s heartbeat was perfect, and I’m praying, praying, praying. ♥️

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@AmandaSalt21698 What the f!!

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Baby girl made her arrival this morning at 8:17AM. She weighs 8.5 lbs and is 20” long. Her sugars are awesome. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I’m so in love. 🌈❤️

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Teachers, do you ever just love winter break so much that you debate just never returning and finding a new career? 😂 I need to get my shit together in the next 48 hours.

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@TheMamasaurus

7 months

I’m here yet again to tell you this is one of the best clothing purchases I’ve ever made. Built-in bra & shorts so literally all I need to wear is this one piece outfit. Super comfortable & light. I have it in 3 colors.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Why does restaurant ranch taste better than any ranch I buy in the grocery store?

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

We were talking about stereotyping in class and one of my students told me that her mom judges her friends based on their zodiac sign. Imagine: “Mom, can I invite my friend over?” “Sign?” “Leo.” “Oh god, no, honey, they’re so dramatic.”

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

I finished my MEd program yesterday and this was how I shared the news 😂

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@TheMamasaurus

1 year

Well, made it to the end of the week of teacher appreciation… with… absolutely nothing. Seriously disappointed.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

@HeyJulianneeee At first I was like hey that’s cute and then I was just mad that you can’t do that today

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

I eat foods in order of the least favorable to the most. I want my last bites to be the best.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 months

How old was your little when you first took them to the movie theater? My almost 4-year-old wants to see Inside Out 2 so badly (& me too) and I’m debating taking her to the $6 movie day…

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@SmudgiesMom Right!

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Eminem can definitely get it. Anytime. Dre too.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Does anyone else get sad about going on vacation and leaving their pets behind? 😭😂

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Things that tasted better as a child than they do as an adult: - Bagel Bites - Chef Boyardee - SpaghettiOs - Ellio’s pizza *Feel free to add.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

@sandystern Never

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Had a bit of a scare yesterday, but SURPRISE! We got to see our little baby and this bumblebee is growing right on track (6.5 weeks) with a perfect heartbeat! I am absolute mush. 😍

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

I’ve decided. I am getting the vaccine the moment it becomes available to teachers.

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Also, I did I miss that 50 Cent was going to be a part of it, or were y’all equally surprised?

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

So you’re telling me Edward Cullen is more than 100 years old and out of all the girls he could be with, he literally chose the most boring person on the planet?

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Does anyone else feel like you’re just barely surviving day-to-day lately?

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@TheMamasaurus

1 year

My 3-year-old: We live on Earth. Me: Yes, that’s right! 3: Earth is in space. Yes, you’re so smart! 3: So, we’re floating in space right now? Yes… (Knowing this is ✨my✨ child and I don’t want to cause her anxiety.) 3: Are my toys in space? Yes…

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Why is April Fools Day even a thing anymore? This is the stuff we should be cancelling.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Why do orders of mozzarella sticks always come in odd numbers? It’s almost like they’re trying to destroy relationships.

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Do you ever feel that not even “fuck” is a strong enough exclamation anymore?

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

I won’t admit this to anyone in real life for a few reasons, but today I applied for the very first time for a job outside of public education. I’m not sure if I’d even be good this other job, but public ed is killing me and I’m not sure how much longer I can survive.

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@TheMamasaurus

1 year

I have to admit something. When y’all post pics of your car thermostats that read 31 CELSIUS and say how hot it is, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a spring 72? A warm winter at 55? A summer swelter 97? 🤷🏻‍♀️

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

@messychip This was a real “open for a surprise”

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Honestly, I can’t leave education because what the fuck else would I do? I have an English degree and a Master’s in education.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Never, in my life, have I dreaded returning to work as much as I do right now.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 years

If you’re happy about what the Supreme Court did today, you can unfollow me now. But first, kindly let me know so I can block you.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

Husband: “Would you ever want to go to Times Square to see the ball drop?” Me: “I’d rather go to jail. I’d have more room in my cell and better access to a toilet.”

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

Welcome to the last 5-day week of the school year. 🎉

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@TheMamasaurus

1 year

I’m so, so tired of the parents who enable their children, the administrators who don’t support teachers, and the students who have no respect for anyone or anything.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

I’m finding it harder and harder to control my urge to swear around my students as the year comes to a close. I need summer so fucking badly.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 months

At the conclusion of this week, I can officially state we received NOTHING— not even an email acknowledgement— for teacher appreciation week. And our administration is wondering why morale is so low. Add this to the list.

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

One of the hardest parts of motherhood is that I feel like I’m never allowed to be off. I’m not feeling too hot today and even as I just lay in bed trying to relax, I hear my baby asking for me and it breaks me

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Packing for our trip: ☑️ 1 outfit per day ☑️ 1 extra outfit per day for any messes ☑️ 3 long-sleeve shirts & pants in case it gets cold ☑️ 3 pairs of unds per day in case of any emergencies ☑️ 2 swim suits even though swimming is very unlikely Why am I like this?

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

⚠️ HUGE TEACHER PET PEEVE: When a parent emails about their child being ineligible for sports. No care or concern for academics or worries that the kid isn’t mastering content (at an 8th grade level). They’re just pissed their kid can’t play sports.

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@TheMamasaurus

7 years

Me watching House Hunters: Man: “Our budget is $500K.” Woman: “I was thinking more like $700K.” Me to the Woman on TV: “The discrepancy between your budgets could buy me a house. Spoiled ass brat.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Florida has record high Covid-19 cases right now. Florida also announces that schools MUST open in August. Serious question for someone: What the fuck are you thinking, Florida?

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

I still can’t believe that last school year we were spaced 6 feet apart, had plastic dividers, wore masks, only saw half my students in person, & quarantined whenever possibly exposed… and today I start school with none of that. Not even masks. Pray for us.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

YOU SAW IT. NOT YOU SEEN IT 😡😡😡

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Teachers: Good luck this week. (Please send luck in return too.)

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@TheMamasaurus

7 years

Hey @amazon why can't teachers get discounted Prime like students?

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Me on Facebook & IG: My daughter was my favorite Christmas gift this year Me on Twitter: This vibrator is my favorite Christmas gift this year

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Wasn’t expecting any packages today and a delivery was made... it’s my Master’s diploma! 🎉

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@TheMamasaurus

2 months

I’m muting that tweet now. It’s become insane. What’s even crazier is the # of people accusing me of cheating because “it’s not possible” for my kid to have blue eyes lolol ok you’re really showing your level of intelligence folks

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

I’m so fucking annoyed by people who don’t do their jobs correctly, but earn the same pay as I do? Makes sense.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Me: “Why isn’t your laptop charged for school today?” Student: “We only have one plug and we plugged in the Christmas tree instead.” Anything I would have said in reply would have made me the Grinch.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 months

@pallbro I need an update to this story. I hope Jumbotron has found his home.

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

I’m bothered that I put commas in this tweet. My microchip must not be working with the mask interference.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

I wanted it so badly and I did it! I got department head! 👍🏼💪🏼

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@TheMamasaurus

2 years

Having to wear professional attire on teacher in-service days is a load of shit. (Especially when the day will be spent in my classroom doing my own thing!)

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

There’s literally no difference between weekdays and weekends anymore. Emails are always coming, scheduling new online meetings, or asking more questions of which I don’t have answers for. There’s always laundry to do, meals to cook, things to clean.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

Why do I always want to preview a menu before going to a new restaurant? Part of me likes to prepare, part of me hates ruining the surprise of possibility, and all of me hates that I’m thinking about what I’m going to eat more than 5 hours before I’ll eat.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Does anyone else’s husband have what I call a “sock graveyard” in the living room? He takes off his socks and just makes a pile of them! It’ll be like 4 days before he picks them all up. My dad does this too so I’m trying to figure out if I married my dad or just a man thing.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Favorite Adam Sandler movie? (And don’t even bother commenting if you don’t like him. I have such a soft spot for his squishy bod and humor.)

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Thank you everyone for all your well wishes. I still can’t believe I made her and after all these years, I’m holding my rainbow.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Baby girl made her arrival this morning at 8:17AM. She weighs 8.5 lbs and is 20” long. Her sugars are awesome. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I’m so in love. 🌈❤️

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@TheMamasaurus

7 years

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I seriously can't handle people who put the AFTER picture before the BEFORE pic.

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

I mean all these Ancestry, 23 and Me, and other DNA kits are cool, but isn’t anyone else freaked the fuck out that there’s increasing collections of people’s DNA samples somewhere?? 👀

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

Regardless of any small side effects I may have gotten from the Covid vaccine, I am still incredibly thankful to have gotten it. #vaccinated

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

One of my male team members came to see me during my prep today. He told me about the struggles he and his wife had when they were trying to start a family. He still remembers how much it hurts even 30 years later. We cried together.

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

I just won a free personal day at school! Woohoo! 🎉

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@TheMamasaurus

7 years

Officially TTC! 🎉🤞🏼

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

If you say you love tacos but then only eat one taco at a meal, you in fact do not love tacos.

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@TheMamasaurus

7 years

Today at the end of the day I walked in on a teacher (whom I really admire and is always really good at what she does), sitting in her classroom crying because of how overwhelmed she felt. If that doesn’t sum up teaching for you.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

A NSFW review of the Christmas present my husband got for me & we tried out earlier: A Original Magic Wand

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@TheMamasaurus

1 year

3: Is Papa in space? Yes, we are too. 3: Is [babysitter] in space? Yes, every person you know is in space. 3, now yelling: What do you mean we’re ALL FLOATING IN SPACE?!!! *runs away*

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

My husband just asked if I saw any gifts laying around the spare bedroom. Me: “No, why?” Hubs: “I was trying to hide them from you but now I can’t remember where I put them.” 😂 😂

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

This is awesome, but also I could never dedicate that much time or money only to take it down every June lol

Staci Lamb | she/her

@EngagingStaci

5 years

Welcome to Hogwarts ⚡ (aka my classroom lol)

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

I must not comment on the Facebook posts of idiots or those who lack knowledge and compassion.

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@TheMamasaurus

2 years

IYKYK

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

Teachers who have earned a Master’s degree: What is your Bachelor’s and Master’s in?

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@TheMamasaurus

5 years

I’m going to say it here because I need to get it out of my head and into the universe: I pray for myself and all others struggling that this is the last Mother’s Day we have to spend without our rainbows.

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@TheMamasaurus

3 years

Last week I had my curriculum and Maus questioned by a school board member. Today I earned a grant specifically to use for Holocaust, anti-semitism, & anti-hate curricular resources. Keep fighting the right fights; it’s worth it.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

IT’S OFFICIALLY BABY MONTH! 😬😬😬

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

Was the traffic light actually green or did I just follow the cars in front of me? (I ask myself this too often.)

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

I am legitimately fearful of Election Day this year. Please. I beg you. If you are able to vote, you NEED to vote. Please.

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

All done!

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@TheMamasaurus

6 years

School seems especially tough right now. Kids are crazy, everyone else seems cranky, and more and more stuff is getting added to our plates. We all need winter break...

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@TheMamasaurus

4 years

As of today, I am fully vaccinated (14-days post my second shot)! Feeling incredibly thankful.

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@TheMamasaurus

8 years

OMG I can actually say I'm getting married THIS WEEKEND! 🙉🙉🙉

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