Running, rollerskating & musical-loving Bristol City supporter. Mum to 2 lovely boys. Head of Media, Brand & Relationships for charity (my views, not employers)
If you can pull £50 million out of thin air for an 888 service that GPS tracks women & totally misses the point of what we need to address, surely that £50 million could be redirected to existing women's services that are struggling to keep refuge & community support doors open?
If Zara Aleena's killer is successfully going to get his sentence reduced because he beat her unconscious before some of the sexual assaults, what does that say about our justice system? He attacked her, sexually assaulted her- he murdered her. If he doesn't serve life, who does?
I can't stop thinking about the 15 year old girl stabbed to death this morning by a boy after their relationship ended. This 17 year old felt entitled to kill her if she didn't want him. All domestic homicides are awful, but I can't process this happening to a 15 year old today.
Actually speechless at the decision by the BBC to employ Nick Kyrgios as a Wimbledon pundit. The same man who pleaded guilty to assaulting his girlfriend last year, who said of Andrew Tate he was "speaking facts as usual". What message does this send
@BBC
?
This is what minimising domestic homicide looks like in the press: he murdered her before killing himself, yet the empathy is with him, the comments are centred on him. The woman murdered by her husband becomes an afterthought in the reporting - "Clare was a huge loss, too".
I wondered why a panel at 12.30pm at a party conference felt the need to serve gin - then I heard a man in his 20s tell the room the main issue with online abuse is actually women and the unreasonable sexual pressure they put men under 🤯
After that, the midday gin made sense.
For those questioning on here why women are speaking to
#Dispatches
and not going to the police, the
@RapeCrisisEandW
website will show you exactly why - less than 2% of reported rapes result in a charge.
Here
@VeraBaird
explains how awful the system is.
His ex partner was abused by him, he tried to kidnap other women before plotting to kidnap, rape and kill Holly Willoughby - Gavin Plumb should have been stopped a long, long time ago.
The judge currently retelling the details of the trial of Gavin Plumb who plotted to kidnap, rape and murder Holly Willoughby, are horrifying .
How this violent and dangerous man was not in prison earlier is shocking.
Plumb is being sentenced live:
➡️
If you think lorry drivers are getting amazing pay, my husband is on mere £3.74 more an hour today driving a class 1 (massive lorry) than he was 10 years ago driving a class 2 (less than half the size). Pay agency drivers properly, and you'll have a lot more drivers turning up.
Spoke to someone today who seemed surprised at the idea there could be a power element involved in a young woman being forcibly kissed by an older man who is senior figure in a male-dominated industry... I guess some days you really have to start from scratch 😳
#JenniHermoso
At
#BristolRoyalInfirmary
with my Mum today who fell on the ice and broke her ankle badly, it was horrendously busy with beds queued up in corridors but the staff have been just brilliant, cheerful under pressure & real heroes. What would we do without the NHS 💛
@NHSMillion
Please change this
@MailOnline
- don't start this with the words of a man who stabbed his ex-partner & her daughter to death. Don't platform his words in the headline, focus on the women he killed & what a loss this is - and how frequent domestic homicides are. Don't justify him.
Big day in court: Ryan Giggs cleared of charges that he was a violent, abusive partner to then-girlfriend.
Case dropped after court hears Kate Greville didn't want to give evidence because 'worn down' and 'violated' by process.
Giggs 'deeply relieved'.
"Woman 'strangled by PC lover plotted his downfall' " Classic victim blaming headline by
@BBCNews
- when reporting from a court case, there is still a choice in how you report the "facts" & what the headline is
21 yrs ago this week I started a 6 month contract at
@womensaid
, hoping to stay for a bit longer! I feel lucky to spend my working life doing something I feel passionately about, with survivors of domestic abuse who I am so proud to raise awareness with, & incredible colleagues.
Dropped even with the audio recordings.
The highest ever number of rapes within a 12-month period was recorded by police in the year ending March 2022: 70,330. In that same time period, charges were brought in just 2,223 rape cases.
Support is available from
@RapeCrisisEandW
Manchester United forward Mason Greenwood had faced allegations of attempted rape, controlling and coercive behaviour, and assault; Greenwood has now had all charges against him dropped.
Huge respect to everyone speaking out about domestic abuse on here, because the amount of nasty responses to those trying to raise awareness & basically save lives is hideous. All too often comments prove the point that misogynistic attitudes underpin tolerance of domestic abuse.
Honestly BBC, a "fallen hero"?! He killed his partner!
Maybe the headline should ask why a convicted murderer was freed halfway through his sentence?
#HerNameWasReeva
This week has taught me if I was killed in a domestic homicide the Mail would say it was because I work full time & my partner part-time; & if I went missing they'd be counting the no of wine bottles in my recycling bin & no of beers I drank on a match day. End the victim blaming
Some really irresponsible - or naive - tweets about coercive control since this story broke. No, it's not easy to leave an abuser when you're terrified of them & exhausted from never being able to relax for a moment. If affected go to
@womensaid
for help.
Controlling the narrative is something charismatic perpetrators of abuse regularly do - minimise their actions & the impact, & get sympathy for themselves, by default getting others to doubt the survivor. This is part of the abuse. Survivors need to be listened to, & respected.
I wrote this for
@MetroUK
for
@womensaid
about the message it sends out when the BBC announce a Wimbledon pundit who last year admitted assaulting his girlfriend. We will never see a reduction in domestic abuse while it is swept under the carpet like this.
Absolutely devastating news - we spent last night celebrating Tina. A survivor of severe, ongoing domestic abuse, who gave her blessing for the 5th anniversary of
@TinaTheMusical
to be for other survivors by supporting
@womensaid
. Heartbreaking to lose this incredible woman 💔💔
Disgusting piece in the Mail- Jan Moir says of Kate Greville "she didn't much like being cross-examined for three days during the first trial" - well no one who had survived alleged domestic abuse would, & she had a 12 week old baby at the time! Comments like this are so harmful.
There's only one
@jessphillips
...hitting the nail on the head here: "Deal with the actual underlying problems, don't just try and clean up the mess when it happens"
#DomesticAbuse
#VAWG
Now
@jessphillips
speaks about the importance of looking more widely than the immediate incidents of domestic abuse: "Look at women's status in society, look at childcare; look at the ability for a woman to rent a home on the median wage. It's a Labour issue."
#Lab22
@SocLabLaw
Working in domestic abuse for a long time sometimes feels like a life of making cases to show how serious it is, often begging for funding to keep lifesaving services open, then watching women being killed day after day & wondering what it will take for people to understand.
BREAKING: An investigation has been launched after a woman in her 50s has been found dead in a house in
#ChelmsleyWood
.
@WMPolice
say she was found with serious head injuries.
Read more:
Last week my father in law tripped up & fell in the road (Fishponds Rd, Bristol). He was bleeding & people literally ignored him, walked past & drove around him, until a kind woman stopped her car, got him up & took him to the Drs. No idea who she is, but we are very grateful ❤️
Tina Turner is a reminder that survivors of domestic abuse are some of the most strong, incredible women you will ever meet, & I'm lucky to know so many ❤️💪
Watch the documentary, watch the show
@TinaTheMusical
- remember her forever.
#TinaTurner
#SimplyTheBest
#DomesticAbuse
Really pleased to say that we
@womensaid
are now in discussions with
@LoveIsland
about the issues raised on the show - so important to be talking.
As our Come Together To End Domestic Abuse campaign says - we've all got a role play to
#EndAbuseTogether
Comments under this post show how coercive control is not understood by so many people- the
#JonahHill
messages are so controlling. They are not "boundaries" when you are expecting someone not to do their job or socialise with friends! If you don't want to be with someone, leave.
Jonah Hill’s ex, surf instructor Sarah Brady, exposes text messages from their relationship.
In the alleged text messages, the actor demands her to have ‘boundaries’ including not posting bathing suit photos on her Instagram or surfing with men, despite being a surf instructor.
Rape isn't about sex, it's about exerting absolute power over another person against their will, or without their consent. So the impact is much more than the physical injuries left after being raped, but as this survivor says "a theft of the spirit".
#DannyMasterson
"When you raped me, you stole from me. That's what rape is, a theft of the spirit."
Danny Masterson, who played Steven Hyde on "That '70s Show" has been sentenced 30 years to life in prison over raping two women.
Hi
@BBCNews
a teacher can't have sex with a 13 year old & 14 year old but he can definitely RAPE a 13 year old and a 14 year old. They are children who are unable by law to consent. Your headline here matters, please change it.
#Maate
challenge unacceptable behaviour, and don't be complicit in minimising allegations of abuse by saying they are a nice bloke really.
People that are lovely in public can be abusive in private, so the "he's a lovely bloke really" narrative can provide cover for abusers.
#c4thejury
showing exactly why survivors of domestic abuse so often dò not want to engage with the justice system. You can be killed and still be blamed.
It's
#InternationalBereavedMothersDay
& I'm thinking of every woman who has lost a child 💔 I'm thinking of
@clairethrossell
& her beautiful boys Jack & Paul, who should be here today but were killed by their abusive father - she campaigns in their memory.
I can't stop thinking about Harriet Harman losing her husband suddenly, just after announcing she will be stepping down as an MP - no doubt looking forward to spending more time with him & her family after giving so much to others her whole career. My heart goes out to her.
Three years on from the murder of her daughters Bibaa Henry and Nicole Smallman, and the further despicable crime committed by serving Met police officers, thoughts, love & solidarity with Mina Smallman today 💜❤️
"It demonstrated just how little our girls meant."
In an exclusive interview, Mina Smallman tells
@simonisrael
finding out that two Met Police officers shared photos of her murdered daughters, Nicole Smallman and Bibaa Henry, took her to a "really, really dark place".
Today is our VAWG sector remembrance day. More women killed by men last year than the year before. I will listen again in tears, remember every woman, & work as hard as I can at
@womensaid
to help end this. Huge gratitude & thanks to
@K_IngalaSmith
&
@jessphillips
for doing this.
Today in the
#IWD2022
debate I will for the seventh year running read out the names compiled by
@K_IngalaSmith
of women killed by men in the last year. The list is longer than last year.
Our new
@womensaid
report shows the clear link between online misogynistic (*Andrew Tate*) content and attitudes towards domestic abuse for children and young people. This is serious and needs to be understood and addressed.
Please read and share.
Back in Brum fresh from a school visit, instead of worrying about those kids this week, Education Sec decided that gesture politics was better with his Free Speech on Campus Bill. I asked him what he was doing about a real issue on campus. Why is sexual abuse never his priority?
This is quite frankly terrifying. The Domestic Abuse Act recognises post-relationship coercive control - control & abuse doesn't end when an abusive relationship does. Really concerned about the safety of this pilot. Perpetrators are often charming, manipulative etc. with police.
We have launched a Restorative Justice (RJ) pilot scheme for domestic abuse cases. RJ gives victims & offenders the chance to communicate in a positive way, giving victims a sense of empowerment.
Read more:
If a political party doesn't mention domestic abuse or violence against women explicitly in their manifesto, that tells you all you need to know about what their priorities are. And more to the point, what their priorities are not.
The thing that is driving me mad about this is the assumption that perpetrators of domestic abuse are reasonable & won't try to kill you if they know where you live after you've left them. Refuges aren't an overreaction, 3 women are killed every 2 weeks.
Tonight
@_TobyAlexander
is terrifying as Gray in
@bbceastenders
but watch this from today's
@loosewomen
to see Toby talking about his commitment to raise awareness of domestic abuse as a
@womensaid
Ambassador (with a very kind mention of me - thanks Toby!)
There no words that do justice to the impact that
#EvanStark
had. Quite simply, he 'got' domestic abuse, defining coercive control, & was the most entertaining speaker. He made us both laugh & listen, & had queues of people wanting to meet him at
@womensaid
conference. A legend.
Worth noting that many of the heroes working to end domestic abuse have no public profile, no social media (apart from maybe 18 Twitter followers). They work relentlessly. They will never get an OBE or CBE. You probably will never know their names. But they save lives every day.
Kiena Dawes killed herself after contacting the police repeatedly about her abuser.
Her brother said: “She felt the police weren’t doing anything to help her despite countless reports of domestic violence. Her attacker was constantly bailed"
2 years today since my Dad suddenly died, if you are with yours today, give him a massive hug or buy him a beer or something. I'd love to buy mine a Thatchers today and watch him beat me at pool for the millionth time ❤
If you've seen the victim-blaming
@DailyMailUK
headline today, it's not just online - it's in print too, and just 6 pages later Amanda Platell goes in with "Don't use vile Epsom school killings to brand all men as monsters"- actual denial of the scale of violence against women 🤬
@ManUtd
please note when talking about your duty of care to new fathers who have allegedly been abusive to their partners, that domestic abuse frequently gets worse during pregnancy - having a baby is not a safer time, it is statistically more dangerous.
The amount of women I have spoken to over the years who have had domestic abuse start in pregnancy & continue when the baby is born - so when you're told "they're happy now, they're having a baby" this is exactly why I worry even more about what is happening behind closed doors.
Women’s Aid to remove Bristol City from Football United Against Domestic Violence campaign materials, following announcement of convicted domestic abuse perpetrator Danny Simpson for remainder of the 20/21 season 👇
At
@womensaid
we comment on
@LoveIsland
because many young people watching it are influenced by the show - young people learning what is acceptable in relationships. What goes out on screen matters. Importantly, at the same time we can raise awareness about healthy relationships.
I cannot explain how much
@OfficialMelB
has raised awareness of coercive control globally through her work as Patron of
@womensaid
. So proud to raise awareness alongside her 💜
#EndAbuseTogether
Thank you
@OfficialMelB
for bravely speaking out about the impact of abuse on your mental health, and the trauma of the family courts post-separation.
Raising important awareness of the reality of the long-term effects of domestic abuse.
#BrutallyHonest
Really proud to be working with lovely Jesy Nelson & her team to raise awareness of domestic abuse with her new single & video
#BadThing
& signpost to support from
@womensaid
❤️ Great to be together with everyone at the screening tonight 🥰
Today's front page story shows how myths about domestic abuse only happening in poorer homes are so wrong - this TV presenter was arrested in his big house in a "nice" area, he was charged with 7 domestic abuse offences.
It happens in every type of home.
Turns out my husband was listening to me talking about importance of men challenging sexism - he just took on a tea room full of fellow lorry drivers being crude about a tv presenter & calling her "it". One called him a snowflake, but the rest - had a chat & said he had a point!!
@David_Challen
My best friend's mum was killed by her stepdad in 1996. He stabbed her over 30 times, with a knife he bought the week before. On a manslaughter charge he was sentenced to 5 yrs. He served 2 yrs 8 months, mostly in Leyhill open prison. That was not justice & this is not justice.
I spoke to
@Telegraph
for
@womensaid
about the impact of our public service broadcaster making this decision, and the message this sends survivors of domestic abuse, and the message it sends the wider public. Surely there was a tennis pundit available who doesn't assault women?
Ahead of the
#AngelLynn
documentary tonight, one of my most memorable moments at
@womensaid
has been supporting Angel Lynn's family at the appeal. I have never experienced anything like it, & struggled to hold back tears - it was a rollercoaster with thankfully the right outcome.
A
@Channel4
documentary tonight at 9pm explores the life of Angel Lynn who was severely injured when she fell from a van after being kidnapped by her abusive partner. It aims to help others look out for the signs of coercive control. More on this story 👇
I'm quoted in the front page story of
@TheSun
today - an England football allegedly threatens a woman he is having an affair with & frightens her into signing an NDA & deleting photos & messages, saying "I know where you live".
#FootballUnitedAgainstDomesticViolence
@womensaid
Really important piece in
@thesundaytimes
today which sheds more light on the
#PenelopeJackson
case and the alleged long term
#CoerciveControl
she had experienced. Which was completely disbelieved & disregarded by the judge when sentencing her to a minimum of 18 years.
This week is a reminder that no matter how many people say domestic abuse is awful, when it involves someone they know or like (or think is a decent Bond or pirate), they just don't want to believe it. Abusers can be your favourite uncle, your mate in the pub, that's the reality.
@C_Kneer
The government taking domestic abuse out of the vawg strategy isn't exactly helping. Treating domestic abuse as if it is gender neutral & has the same impact on everyone, when women are being killed week in, week out, is gaslighting & misogyny in action.
Attacked on a bus? Wave down a police car. Lone policeman trying to arrest you? Wave down a bus.
Unsafe on the streets? Get home as quickly as you can. Abused by partner at home? Leave, run onto the streets.
The problem is that for women there aren't any guaranteed safe places
Rape convictions are outrageously low - football clubs have to take allegations seriously as the reality is that many women are not getting justice after being raped. When there are multiple rape allegations & no action is taken by a football club, it sends a dangerous message.
I never cease to be shocked how abusers can get away with it because there "is no known history" well guess what, covering up abuse is what they are best at. I've known two men who killed ex partners & they both planned it, but on paper there was no evidence of the abuse/planning
I got to watch the show in some very special company tonight
@JamieMusical
@BristolHipp
He's My Boy never sounded so good knowing Margaret was there with her boy 💜💛
The amount of women I have spoken to over the years who have had domestic abuse start in pregnancy & continue when the baby is born - so when you're told "they're happy now, they're having a baby" this is exactly why I worry even more about what is happening behind closed doors.
It is more common to see partner abuse against a pregnant woman lumped in with all other cases of “intimate partner violence”, but I believe it deserves its on designation. Pregnant Partner Violence (PPV) is so clearly a crime against (at least) TWO. For some, abuse starts during
Out of order comment from a radio producer this morning - if we can't clear our diary to do a live interview then they will say on air we refused to speak. Not being available at a time is not the same as refusing, & our work to protect survivors of abuse is always our priority!!
In awe of all that our
@womensaid
Patron
@OfficialMelB
has done over the past few weeks to raise awareness of domestic abuse. I've been with her for many of the interviews & events, & her dedication to using her platform & every opportunity to help other survivors is everything.
Thank you Jesy Nelson for mentioning us at
@womensaid
on
@BBCTheOneShow
tonight, this awareness could help save lives if someone living with an abusive partner reaches out for support - sometimes you just need to know that you're not alone and people will understand ❤️
#BadThing
Anytime you mention anything about rape on here or in the press you get the inevitable comments, but I was just sent a voice note from a young survivor of abuse who said thank you for being a strong voice for women - worth it a million times over 😭❤️
Pleaded guilty to "assault by beating" a woman, suspended by
@OfficialECFC
, but despite suspension for months, Brown is voted player of the season by team mates. It shows how seriously violence against women is taken 😳 - & he faces trial for a 2nd charge.
Wonderful day with our wonderful
@womensaid
Patron
@OfficialMelB
and her daughter Phoenix, who is a fantastic supporter in her own right, at the
@WOWisGlobal
reception at Buckingham Palace
Really disappointed to see
@DailyMirror
's decision to run a photo of Mel B's allegedly abusive ex next to her on today's front page. As well as detailing his latest attempt to use the courts to control & get money, it is giving him the spotlight he craves - I've covered his face.
A very proud moment to be with our
@womensaid
Patron 💜
Thank you to all at
@leedsbeckett
for recognising the considerable work
@OfficialMelB
does to raise awareness of domestic abuse, and the impact this has had globally.
My husband has just recovered a short film clip from an old laptop of my Dad, who died 3 years ago, talking and joking around. Messing around dancing to his favourite song.I didn't know we had anything with even his voice recorded on it 😭 I'm happy crying, a lot. Absolute joy.
We gave a
@womensaid
media comment on a case and have had an email in today thanking us, saying "you don't know what that meant to me" from the survivor. ❤️😭
Being believed and understood is everything, solidarity is everything.
#DomesticAbuse
#EndAbuseTogether
Without a doubt
@MarianKeyes
needs to join the
#WomensAidAmazingWomen
list - Marian worked with us at
@womensaid
on research for her excellent book This Charming Man & created such a realistic story about domestic abuse - she really listened to survivors' voices & it shows 💛
Reports of a woman stabbed by a man in a car park today, he's arrested for attempted murder. Now wait for the next report which most likely says he was "known" to her. Same day, explain again & again to the same people why specialist women's domestic abuse services need funding.
Thank you
@clairethrossell
&
@OfficialMelB
for bringing your voices together to campaign for judges in family courts to have ongoing, expert domestic abuse training. Thank you also to
@TheSun
for running this important feature. Please add your support here
In
@TheSun
today talking about advising on the
@itvcorrie
coercive control storyline for
@womensaid
. Lots of research has gone into this important story, which is focused on non-physical abuse and shows that domestic abuse can happen to women at any age.
I could write a tweet about how surprised I am & disappointed in the funding allocated for domestic abuse services in the budget today, but after two decades of writing responses to budgets, this is what I expect: 1) nowhere near enough money for services to keep survivors alive
I went out tonight & someone asked what I did. A man said "have you thought about the men". It's often all I am asked 🤦♀️
Of course I said all the sensible things - we care, we work together & signpost to brilliant, much needed services, but SO MANY WOMEN DIE. Every single week.
Thinking of
@David_Challen
ahead of his Mum's appeal starting tomorrow, he has worked so hard to campaign for her release. We stand with you & your family David, sending all good wishes for the next couple of days 💛
#FreeSallyChallen
On
@itvnews
this evening talking about the making of the Bad Thing music video and why domestic abuse is a subject close to Jesy Nelson's heart & she wanted to work with us at
@womensaid