Carly Tennes Profile Banner
Carly Tennes Profile
Carly Tennes

@TennesAnyone

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Following
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Pop culture writer/editor + Hot Girl Internet Comedian™️. Instagram: @huntressthompson_

NYC
Joined March 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Earlier this summer, I got the privilege to speak with @willam and @sophieaslut about beauty and confidence and the importance of LGBTQAI+ SexEd. Read all about it here — and while you're at it, check out their hilarious @OUTtv series, F*cking Smart!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Tonight's to-do list: -honk -shoo -honk -mimimimimi
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
You’ve heard of girl dinner, now get ready for
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
@politicalth0t i love how you can so clearly tell who watched this with and without sound in the quote tweets
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
@abelinasabrina Disgusting. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this love. I’ll say it again: It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, domestic abuse is not a football game. Treating it as such only hurts survivors. In 5 years, people will look back in horror at how this trial was approached.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
@jus10pr This is Stanley cup erasure
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
@zachsilberberg Idk, in my little optimistic little world, I like to think he waited for Shiv. That’s why we only see his face after she finishes talking.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
8 months
Just gals bein’ pals 💕🌈✨
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Tbt to this iconic moment in Ann Tennes history:
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
imagine running a venue so poorly that you end up in full-fledged internet beef with vulfpeck
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
@mfbenji if its the 12 ft Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes(TM), you better shut up and listen
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
my mom’s reaction to my Bond video, asdfghjkl brb yeeting myself into the void
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
meow-y christmas 🐱🎅❄️
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
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@AP
The Associated Press
9 months
Wisconsin university chancellor says he was fired for producing and appearing in porn videos
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
@angelmendoza___ I don't call things "mid" anymore, I say "it's giving tuesday"
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
not my horny ass thinking "MY GIRLS ARE FREE" was trending for a VERY different reason 🥴
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
My abusive ex was all about promoting “nontoxic masculinity.” He’d post cooking TikToks, feminist infographics & condemn SA while tapping my phone, isolating me from my family & bragging about how he punched a wall instead of my face. “Good guys” can be the scariest abusers.
@BienSur_JeTaime
Simply TC 💚💛🖤💙
1 year
What I find scariest about Jonathan Majors was fam was positioning himself as the mascot of gentle masculinity. He was soft, sensitive, strong, safe, and unafraid to wear pink. All while beating women on the low. That was extremely calculated.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
"this is the most important election of our lifetime" is literally just "this is the most dramatic season of the bachelorette ever" but for democrats.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
i would rather wear ashley tisdale’s princess diaries 2 premiere look every day until i die than face the resurgence of twee
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
4 years
Nobody: ... No one: ... Not a single soul: ... Me, at 2 a.m.: when yOU WRITE AN INCAN FILM, AND ITS CHANGED AGAINST YOUR WILL #releasetheallerscut
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
From Supreme Court cases to Jordin Sparks calling everyone a slut at the 2008 VMAs, it's *much* more complicated than Disney being Disney This is my favorite piece I've ever written for @cracked so pls give it a read!!!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
theo parrish vibes
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
4 years
oh, i also got to write about my hero today
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
she scammed cancer patients
@dbrauer
David Brauer
1 year
The New York Fucking Times
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Today, I wrote about my hero and the legacy of one of my favorite films, Jennifer's Body. I don't normally get sappy on here, but that film is so important to me and so many other queer women, and I'm so glad it's finally getting the cred it deserves.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Soooooo someone at @cracked let me rant about why Jennifer’s Body is criminally underrated. In this house, bi Taurus queens support bi taurus queens 😤♉️👑
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
10 months
call me climate change the way I get hotter every year
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@taynextdoor
tay.
10 months
it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
Hi Barbie!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Halloweekend Day 1:
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
hi, im carly and my favorite past time is developing crushes on the worst/most inconvenient people i could possibly have crushes on at any given moment.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
@OwlheartSchool This is it, boys, my sole contribution to society! 🙃
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
noises that can singlehandedly throw me into an existential crisis: -the bbc news notification sound -slack notifications -the opening synths in 'ribs' by lorde -waking up to the 'george lopez' theme song at 3 a.m. after falling asleep on your living room couch in 2007
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
4 years
Today I tested @abelinasabrina 's Flamin' Hot Cheeto conspiracy theory for @cracked . Did I eat the equivalent of three bags of hot chips for this? Yes. Is the Conspiracy true? Find out for yourself here.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
4 years
@nori_reed Lol I’m in quarantine right now because my one friend’s roommate *very conveniently* told us she tested positive for Covid one day after moving out.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
and im smarter than i look, im the dumbest girl alive
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Who needs gamer girl bath water when you have a melted taco belle Delphine Baja blast???
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 years
Hey, @karliekloss ! I'm a reporter for NYU's radio station, WNYU, and was wondering if you'd like to be interviewed for our weekly news show.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
hi. i’m cute. the world deserves to know this information. k thx bye
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
After spending several days staring at maps of Texas and analyzing almost every relative distance mentioned in all of 'King of the Hill,' I can confirm that Arlen defies the laws of space and time. Read all about it @cracked .
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Halloweekend night 3: Atom Eve
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
@ElyKreimendahl I have literally demand that my mom text me “non emergency” if she texts me asking to call her because I can and will panic thinking something horrible happened
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
i’m not doom spiraling, you’re doom spiraling
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
7 months
maybe I’m just hot?
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@islandthembo
Pocket
7 months
post a pic where your body tea was insane
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
you either die a hero or live long enough to become a #girlboss
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
i would love to abort the supreme court in a landmark decision!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
11 months
look I get it’s thanksgiving and all but please give dutch a break. he’s been working overtime to fill all these biscuit orders 😿
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
hi, i’m carly and today i accidentally rolled up to work looking like a cheap cosplay version of beret girl from ‘an extremely goofy movie’
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
tonight’s glam
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Fashion week? More like fashion *weak* but at least I’m cute!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
8 months
pretty kitty 🐱
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
merry chrismakkah to all, and to all a good night
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 month
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@tatertotsconor
Tater Tots McGee
1 month
Extremely frightening shit, and I’m not being funny.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
@hereisbosco Taco Belle Delphine (it was so bad I had to make it my Halloween costume … twice)
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Our full cut of Jennifer’s Body is on YouTube now! Click the link to hear me rant about how Jennifer’s Body is literally just a bisexual, campy, and Michael Cera-less version of Juno and give @cracked that sweet, sweet ad revenue!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
@ginfantasy I’m making bread frm scratch today and had a whole lot of time to kill 🥴
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
Dyke march: A tale in 3 parts
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
ladies n gentlemen, her* *the double winged ‘60s liner
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
I’ve been summoned?
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Life Update: I am yeeting myself into the void
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
If you think sex work is innately exploitative under capitalism, just wait until you hear about paid manual labor jobs!
@nytimes
The New York Times
3 years
In Opinion OnlyFans “offers the illusion of safety and deniability for producer and consumer alike,” Catharine MacKinnon, a lawyer, writes in a guest essay.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
concept: 'fox & friends,' but its julia fox talking to all the deranged people she knows
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
7 months
Final update: I am home with the kitty and am about to pop a klonopin, rewatch the curse and be asleep by 9:30 💕
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
You’re in his DMs, I’m ugly crying over the death of a fictional character famous for being a raging asshole. #Succesion
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
TIL my ex-partner of five years apparently dreams of flipping houses and being a landlord. F in the mf chat. 🤢🤮
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
5 months
🌔
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
Howdy 🤠
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
hi, i'm carly and my new favorite hobby is writing increasinly unhinged ledes for celebrity news stories.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Girls only want one thing* and it's disgusting *Home Depot's 12 ft. Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes™️
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Imagine watching someone make what could easily be one of the hardest, most personal medical decisions they may ever have to make and *still* having the audacity to call them a murderer. Like my guy, we get it, you're an asshole.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
mandatory glam check because one of my favorite drag performers just complimented my makeup. I will never recover omg 😭😭😭
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 month
If This Flag Offends You, I'll Help You Pack
@SpaghettiC11
Spaghetti
1 month
she might be on to something
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
horny jail isn't enough. we need to instate the horny gulag.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
Smash that MF RT (esp bc I’m now officially an editor at People Magazine!)
@FridaySailer
Congrats Sailer, You Made It To Friday!
3 years
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
we interrupt this stream of lorde shitposting to share a snap of me enjoying Hot Girl Summer™️.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
met a celebrity on my morning walk
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
6 months
tbt to when I wore this shirt to the club despite the advice of my attorney (my dad who does not understand post irony)
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
The Green Fairy from Moulin Rouge
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
POV: I’m about to “hey hun” you into a multi-level marketing scheme
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
4 years
Things I’ve found while unpacking my apt: -Three (3) buttons that read “I smoked weed with Jeff Sessions” -A crayon self-portrait my ex gifted me, drawn while explaining how I’m a loser bc my puns are bad. -Five (5) stickers featuring Britney Spears a la the “Crazy” music video
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
stevie nicks in the matrix vibes
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
can't talk rn, i'm doing hot girl shit (staving off an ugly-crying mental breakdown bc my eyeliner is like, really cute today)
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
7 months
getting into the spirit of straight pride 💕☘️
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
1 year
TIL there is a good chance my ex is depressed because his sister, whom he has always been weirdly flirty with and regularly posts thirst traps of, recently got engaged. We love a Lannister heartbreak.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
9 months
i might be dying rn but at least I was hot last weekend!
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
based
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
ladies & gentlemen, her* *her meaning my emo nite fit
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
wishing all transphobes a very fuck you ☺️
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
when i say yee, u say haw, ye … 🤠
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
safety drip 🦺
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
2 years
Nothing sums up the experience of being an NYU alum in 2022 quite like seeing several "eat the rich" IG posts from a girl who has a whole collection of $4,000+ designer bags.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
holding your heroes accountable for their mistakes doesn't mean you don't respect their art or talent or dislike them. it means you want them to be their best.
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
I think about this every day
@koralinadean
cay
3 years
still obsessed over the fact that lorde took a trip to antarctica to inspire the theme for her new album but the first thing that came out of her mouth in her title track was “i hate the winter, cant stand the cold”
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
6 months
sooooo either a bunch of my childhood medical/school records have my birth year wrong or I'm actually turning 30 next month instead of 28???
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
hi im carly and i not only had a crush on a dude who looks like a hot 20-something hypebeast version of gilbert godfried, but i am now getting ghosted by a dude who looks like a hot 20-something hypebeast version of gilbert godfried 🥴👻
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@TennesAnyone
Carly Tennes
3 years
ladies n gentlemen, her* *the spirit halloween beret that I will now be wearing all winter long
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