At 36, living in Singapore, I had it all - or so I thought.
High-flying career, enviable salary, the works.
But each night, I'd look at the skyline and feel... empty.
Sound familiar? That nagging feeling led me on a journey of reinvention.
Here's my story 🧵
@alonefeeliings
Overthinkers often have heightened sensitivity to others' emotions, leading them to become overly invested in how they are perceived.
Learning to establish emotional boundaries and developing self-reliance will help break that cycle.
@soidoona
It’s understandable-when you've been criticized or misunderstood growing up, it’s natural to over-explain as a way to protect yourself.
But you don’t have to justify yourself to be heard.
@soidoona
Eldest daughters sometimes juggle multiple roles - caregiver, achiever, partner.
I've seen this firsthand, and it's a real balancing act.
It takes a strong partner to support that duality.
@soymeii
I understand completely.
I think genuine gestures that come without asking hold so much more meaning.
We all deserve to receive kindness and love willingly, not by begging.
@withlovesole
That book's eye-opening, right?
I think it shows the darker side of human nature, but I don't believe everyone's out to get us. I've seen incredible kindness too.
The key is balance - be aware, but don't let it make you cynical.
What law surprised you most?
@soymeii
You're a complex mix of contradictions, and that's okay. Growth isn't linear and feeling both joy and pain is part of being human.
Embrace your duality-it's what makes you real.
@TheOracleReadsU
Self-respect is crucial.
You deserve reciprocal relationships, whether with family, friends, or colleagues.
It's not selfish to expect equal effort.
Recognizing your worth and setting boundaries can be life-changing.
It might feel tough at first, but it opens the door to
@TheOracleReadsU
Choosing yourself is powerful.
When you prioritize your own well-being, you set a standard for how others and the universe interact with you.
It’s not just about self-love; it’s about creating a magnetic energy that draws in what aligns with your worth.
When you honor
@withlovesole
Late bloomers are often the deepest roots.
Years of self-mastery build a strong foundation.
When you finally blossom, your impact is undeniable.
@TheOracleReadsU
Letting go is tough, but sometimes it's the healthiest move.
I've been there, and man, it's like ripping off a band-aid.
But here's the thing - focusing on yourself while they figure out their stuff? That's where the real growth happens.
It's not about waiting around, it's
@soymeii
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and maintaining your boundaries silently is powerful. It's about valuing your well-being and surrounding yourself with those who respect and appreciate you.
@hashjenni
That gap between our inner monologue and what we actually say can feel huge.
I've found that writing things down helps bridge that gap - it's like a dress rehearsal for the real conversation.
Have you ever tried journaling or even just jotting down bullet points before a
@feyiszn
That's an interesting observation. I think parents often have the wisdom to see through insincerity in kids' friendships, while children have a keen sense for authenticity in family dynamics.
Well said!
@soymeii
It takes courage to recognize when a relationship isn't reciprocal, and even more courage to walk away.
It's a reminder that our worth isn't determined by others' opinions or actions, and that we deserve to be surrounded by people who truly value and appreciate us.
@TheOracleReadsU
It's easy to beat ourselves up for trusting the wrong people, but that trust often comes from a good place.
I've learned that forgiving myself is just as important as forgiving others.
It's not about being naive, it's about growing from the experience.
@soymeii
Detachment empowers us to maintain our dignity and self-respect. Instead of begging for the right treatment, we can set boundaries and prioritize our well-being
@soymeii
I think sometimes the pain runs so deep that tears aren't enough.
It's a quiet strength to accept what is, breathe through it, and find ways to move forward with grace and resilience.
@withlovesole
negativity and ill intentions can't touch those who are grounded in their own light.
strength and resilience that comes from spiritual connection and self-awareness.
@GiaMMacool
That’s a perspective that sparks a lot of debate about personal choices and societal expectations. It's important to remember that everyone has their own timeline and set of priorities. Being single at any age can be a conscious choice or simply a result of focus
@OHey_Brother
I'd challenge that view.
Solitude isn't always about pain or escape.
It is about growth, reflection, or recharging.
Men need space to process and create.
Assuming the worst overlooks the power of healthy alone time.
@withlovesole
I think you're onto something profound here.
We're shifting from external idols to internal wisdom.
True leaders now are those who've done the hard work on themselves.
Life itself becomes the teacher when we're open to its lessons.
@withlovesole
We often play crucial roles in others' growth, even when it's uncomfortable.
I've seen this in my work - sometimes being a catalyst means challenging someone's beliefs.
It's not about being liked, but about sparking real change.
Remember, your worth isn't tied to others'
@yearofthepoets
I completely agree.
True strength in a man comes from being a safe space for vulnerability. I think creating an environment where someone feels truly seen and understood is incredibly powerful.
@soymeii
I believe sharing your past is about building understanding, not seeking pity.
It's a way to show your journey and how it shaped you.
It’s part of connecting deeply and authentically with others.
@soymeii
That's the sweet spot, isn't it? Those people are gems.
I had a mentor like that once - could break down complex ideas without the ego trip.
It's a rare skill.
@yearofthepoets
The strength of a powerful woman often go unnoticed until she’s no longer there.
You'll soon realize that her absence reveals the vital role she played in maintaining stability and support.
@soymeii
We've all got those "what was I thinking?" moments lurking in our past.
But hey, at least it means we've grown, right?
Still, doesn't stop me from wanting to crawl under a rock sometimes when those memories pop up.
@soymeii
This takes strength and courage!
It's a beautiful thing to be able to provide yourself with the support and reassurance you need.
Remember though, you're not alone in this journey, and there are always people who care about you and want to see you thrive.
If you ever want to
@soidoona
That’s such a beautiful and genuine moment.
It’s those little things, the quirks and habits, that remind you why someone holds a special place in your heart.
It’s not about grand gestures, but those simple, everyday actions that make you think:
“This is exactly why I love
@soymeii
Absolutely, it's frustrating when double standards come into play.
Mutual respect and understanding are key in any relationship.
If it's not okay for one, it shouldn't be okay for the other.
Clear communication and fairness can help avoid these situations.
@yearofthepoets
You're hitting on something so important here.
I used to be that person.
The one who'd soak up everyone's emotions like a sponge.
I thought that's what being an empath meant.
Man, was I exhausted all the time.
I remember this moment at a friend's wedding. Everyone was
@turtlebreezee
After healing, you see through facades way quicker. It's not about being cynical, just sharp.
I've been there - that moment when you catch a vibe off someone and just know. It's like a superpower you didn't ask for, but damn if it isn't useful.
But here's the thing: it's not
@alonefeeliings
We can’t control how others react, but we can set healthy boundaries and make sure we’re not draining ourselves in the process.
Balance matters in relationships.
@IAmMyBestToday
High EQ in a low EQ world? It's like being a fish out of water.
I've banged my head against that wall plenty of times.
It's frustrating when others don't get it, right?
But here's the thing - those connections with other emotionally intelligent people? They're pure gold.
@lonesfeels
Good men exist who truly care and listen.
They're emotionally mature, taking responsibility for their actions.
These men understand the impact of their behavior and genuinely apologize when needed.
@alonefeeliings
At some point, you realize that promises without effort aren’t worth holding onto.
It’s a painful truth, but you deserve someone who shows up consistently, not just when it’s convenient.
@soidoona
I get it.
That anger's justified. Bad relationships can really mess you up.
It's like they handed you a grenade instead of a hug. Not cool.
But here's the thing: That rage? It's fuel. Use it to power your healing, not your hatred.
You deserved better. Now's your chance to
@khem_stevie
Your intuition is like a finely tuned instrument - it picks up on subtle signals others might miss.
Embracing this discernment isn't just about being right; it's about honoring your unique perspective and experiences.
@AdamMGrant
Respect isn't just about being nice - it's about creating an environment where people can do their best work.
I've seen firsthand how a negative comment can throw off a whole team's dynamic.
It's like tossing a pebble in a pond - the ripples affect everyone.
@soymeii
I think genuine interest always finds a way to show itself.
If someone isn't making the effort, it's likely they aren't as invested as they claim to be.
Trust actions over words.
At 20, I was clueless.
Fresh out of school with no idea what to study, I went for the degree that promised the best paycheck -International Business Management.
I took "international" literally.
I studied in the UK, Australia, then Switzerland.
The world was my classroom.
@soymeii
Absolutely! You hit the nail on the head.
Consideration shows a deep level of respect and attentiveness.
It's like they're constantly saying "I see you" and "you matter to me."
When someone prioritizes your feelings, it truly strengthens the bond, wouldn't you agree?
@AdamMGrant
I agree.
While ghosting is hurtful, it's important to understand the fear and discomfort that often drives it.
Many people simply don't know how to handle difficult conversations or express their feelings directly.
However, as you say, silence can leave deeper wounds than
@GiaMMacool
I, as a man, can acknowledge that I am not always "right about everything".
Nothing wrong with that - it is human after all.
Respectful communication & learning from mistakes build lasting partnerships.
@turtlebreezee
It's funny how solitude sharpens your senses.
I've walked into rooms and instantly felt the energy shift.
That "creep factor" you mentioned? It's like a blaring alarm now. I think it's because we finally learn to trust ourselves.
No more second-guessing or ignoring red flags.
@curatedbylala
I love this plan, the perfect balance of fun, adventure, and relaxation.
It's great to see you prioritizing self-care and enjoying all that summer has to offer.
@yearofthepoets
It's a sign of self-respect and wisdom to choose who we share our energy with.
I think valuing our own well-being and surrounding ourselves with those who uplift us is essential for a fulfilling life.
@soymeii
We often assume others are fine without us, but maybe they're feeling the same way.
It's a protective instinct, holding back to avoid vulnerability.
But sometimes, reaching out can surprise us.
People might be missing us too, just as quietly.
@alonefeeliings
Been there, done that. It's a tough spot, right? Pouring your heart out and getting crickets in return.
Sometimes we keep giving, hoping they'll finally see our worth.
But here's the thing: at what cost?
It's cool to be loving, but don't forget to love yourself too.
Maybe
@soymeii
If someone's actions don't align with their words, it might be time for a serious conversation or to reconsider the relationship.
Trust your gut.
@_Pammy_DS_
That's a beautiful wish. It's what we all hope for, isn't it?
A love that feels like home, but still gives you butterflies.
Finding someone who gets all sides of you - that's the real deal.
They laugh at your jokes and understand your silence.
No games, no doubts.
@_Pammy_DS_
I completely resonate with this.
Knowing your worth and not settling for anything less is essential.
Loving deeply is beautiful, but protecting your peace is paramount.
Detachment isn't about not caring;
it's about valuing yourself enough to let go of those who don't
@Byron_bnp
Burnout is a real challenge.
Here are 2 key things:
1. Prioritize self-care (healthy habits, breaks, boundaries).
2. Identify stressors (workload, negativity) and find solutions.
@turtlebreezee
Karma isn't about immediate payback.
It's subtle, working in ways we often can't see.
It's more about the energy we put out into the world.
Our actions and intentions shape our path, even if we don't notice right away.
@soymeii
Clear communication is key.
Hints only lead to confusion. If something needs to be said, say it directly. It saves time and respects everyone involved.
@yearofthepoets
It's those rare connections that truly touch our core. When you find people who make you feel safe enough to be playful, to let your guard down - that's magic.
These soul-nourishing bonds are precious.
They remind us of our essence, beyond all the adult responsibilities.
@yearofthepoets
I think it's a beautiful and poignant sentiment.
The desire for love is natural, but life often teaches us the importance of discernment to find connections that truly nurture and uplift us.
@AdamMGrant
It takes courage to prioritize integrity, especially when it means questioning decisions that go against one's values or the greater good.
I believe that leaders who foster an environment where integrity is valued are the ones who inspire true loyalty and build stronger teams.
@turtlebreezee
No need to chase someone who's playing hard to get.
It's all about matching energy.
I've wasted too much time on folks who couldn't be bothered.
Now?
I'll show you exactly how much I "need" you.
It's liberating, really.
Frees you up for people who actually value your
@soymeii
A partner who understands your perspective and cares about your feelings creates a safe and supportive environment.
It's about mutual respect and empathy.
Well said!
@lonesfeels
Spot on.
Relationships are marathons, not sprints.
The fairy tale ending is just the start of the real story.
Building a strong connection requires emotional maturity and effective communication skills.
It's about facing challenges together, not running from them.
@Theholisticpsyc
It’s often a defense mechanism to protect yourself from getting hurt.
But recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing.
@StephanSpeaks
Spot on Stephan!
Breakups can be tough, but they can also be an opportunity for growth.
Moving on from someone who doesn't cherish you allows you to find a love filled with respect and appreciation.
@lonesfeels
I think you've touched on a really raw, universal experience.
It stings, doesn't it? I've been there, and it's gut-wrenching.
But here's the thing - caring deeply isn't stupid, it's brave.
I've learned that my capacity to care is my strength, not my weakness.
Sure, it might
@soymeii
Oh man, I feel this in my bones. That self-doubt can hit hard, right?
I've had moments where I'm like, "Wait, I thought this was my thing!"
But here's what I've learned: we're often our own harshest critics.
Sometimes, it's not that we're not good - we're just growing, and
@StephanSpeaks
Yes, Stephan, connections can be transformative!
But don't wait for someone to complete you.
Focus on self-love and growth.
The right person will love the authentic you and add to your already amazing journey.
@itsmontyj
Sometimes, we have to prioritize our own well-being and let go of relationships that drain our energy.
It's a difficult but necessary step towards self-preservation and creating space for healthier connections.
@chanteshanice_
Wow, that's a real eye-opener.
You've hit on something deep here. I've caught myself doing this - seeking others' approval when deep down,
I know it's not right. It's like we're looking for permission to ignore that gut feeling.
But here's the thing: our intuition is usually
@imaleanor
Anger is a valid part of healing.
It's important to acknowledge and process these intense emotions.
But, healing isn't linear.
You'll have ups and downs.
@TheOracleReadsU
It's easy to fall into the trap of always pushing harder, but sometimes we need to step back and let things unfold.
Personally, when I relax and trust the process, opportunities often appear out of nowhere.
It's like the universe responds to our faith in it.
Have you had any
@soymeii
I think being the eldest often means carrying a lot of responsibility and emotional weight.
It's important to recognize your own needs and feelings too.
Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for your well-being.
@BahemaMaureen
However, I also believe it's important to remember that relationships are a two-way street, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps focusing on what each partner brings to the table, rather than what they lack, can lead to a more fulfilling connection.
@Theholisticpsyc
It's like giving yourself permission to be human.
By accepting this truth, we free ourselves from the burden of impossible expectations and open the door to more genuine connections.
Gotta remember, our well-being is just as important as others' feelings.