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Your relationship with yourself impacts a lot about how your relationships with others will be. Please get to know YOU and own yourself, love yourself, grow yourself, be yourself, know your worth and have your own back. And may you attract those who are doing the same.
Please be self-forgiving when you realize you could have made better choices with your words, behaviours or reactions. Most of us do what we do until we're presented with new information and we find new ways to show up. Have self-compassion & keep learning, shifting & rising up.
People can only meet you at their level of mental and emotional health, capacity and maturity. Have compassion, stay grounded in your authenticity and boundaries, and move accordingly.
Gentle reminder: Healthy relationships aren’t always joyful, relaxed, cohesive & harmonious. We grow at different rates+stages, we experience & learn differently, we think, perceive & love differently & don’t always see eye to eye. Please get comfortable with not always aligning.
Learning to be accountable is one of the hardest things to do for some people. It’s much easier to “sweep things under the rug”, to pretend something didn’t happen & “move on”, to not work through disagreements & not resolve conflict, to ghost someone or even gaslight them. But…
We are not meant to hold onto the emotions we feel. So don’t. Feel it, learn from it if you can, then let it go. And each time it comes, feel it & let it go. Please don’t build up emotional content anymore. Build up emotional resilience. Practice the art of letting go, every day.
A sign of emotional intelligence and a strong inner foundation is when you don’t react, respond or give your energy to any words, behaviours, energy or people that aim to control, manipulate, undermine, bully, harass or victimize you. You know it doesn’t serve.
If something feels off about someone - in your gut, your body or your intuition, step back, no matter how much you care about them, no matter what they say, no matter what you want or hope for. Press the pause button. Step back. Listen inside.
Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. Even if what they did was unacceptable. And sometimes we think we’ve completely let go, only to have the hurt, the memories or the strong desire to reconnect - return with a vengeance. Time apart from them isn’t always enough…
If it triggers you, look inside. If it doesn’t resonate, move on. If you don’t understand it but you want to, inquire. If it evokes sadness, feel it, let it go & move on. If it brings up bad memories, find support to clear it. Clearing our energy takes practice & it’s so worth it
One of the most heartbreaking lessons we may learn is about trust & betrayal. We think we know someone, but we end up getting blindsided. Sometimes they lie. But sometimes we don’t go as deep as we think in getting to know them, or we don’t realize our assumptions about them.
Please stop letting people play you. Trust your instincts, see their manipulation and stop giving your energy to those who are hot+cold with you and don’t appreciate the real you. Grieve, cleanse your energy, use boundaries, refocus, reground & move in the ways that honour YOU.
You know what feels really good? Believing in yourself. No matter what anyone says to you or about you, no matter what people think of you, no matter how many times you are rejected. When you believe in yourself, you can get through and do pretty much anything.
Being authentic isn’t about sharing all of who+how you are, nor is it about sharing your fullest expressions at all times. It’s about being aware & true to yourself in each & every moment. And sometimes being true to yourself means leaving the room & not sharing any of yourself.
People be calling you antisocial, introverted or shy, when all you’re really doing is opting out of inauthentic, fake, manipulative or ego-based energy to maintain your integrity. Let go of what they may say or think and keep doing you.
Detoxing can help us rid our bodies of toxins like caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processed foods, cigarettes & other drugs. But let’s also detox the heart & soul through nature, decluttering, crying, creating, exercise, human touch, saying no, love, abstaining from the news/gossip.✨
Removing yourself from an unrequited love is better than staying in it. You deserve to experience a love that reciprocates the feelings, effort and energy that you naturally give. Sooner than later, please refocus your energy, shift your priorities, and love them from a distance.
Some people get so used to walking on eggshells with a loved one, that they’ve normalized it with everyone. Please remember that part of healthy relationships includes being safe to: share different opinions & honest feelings, express needs, clear the air, and not avoid conflict.
When we confuse 'love' with 'staying together no matter what', we miss the point of love. Staying together requires communication, agreements & ongoing negotiation. Conflating the two can create entitlement, disappointment & resentment. Return to your heart to understand love.
Seeing someone as they are, rather than as we want them to be can be hard at first. But it ultimately helps us move from ‘feeling hurt, resistant or taking it personally’, to seeing that we must stop pouring into our illusion of them. Refocus, boundary up & realign with YOUR life
If you have high emotional intelligence, you will bang your head against a lot of walls if you don’t find others who also live that way. Make a point of connecting with those that have high awareness, a growth mindset, communication skills and respect for authenticity+boundaries.
Please remember that your body is responding to every single word you speak, every single feeling & thought you hold onto and every single person, place and thing you encounter. Please take care.
May you spot manipulation, hidden agendas, ulterior motives, ego mindsets, controlling and predatory behaviors, masks, posturing, insincerity, dishonesty, energy-sucking, and any other low vibe behaviours from a mile away, and know how to steer your energy accordingly.
Healthy relationships require emotional maturity, integrity and a certain level of transparency if they're going to last. And when we experience it, it's such a blessing.
Sometimes people have already made up their mind about you as if it’s the final word on you, no matter what you do or say, no matter how much you’ve evolved, no matter what the actual truth is. These are not your people.
If you don’t feel safe with them, it’s a no. If you constantly doubt yourself when with them, it’s a no. If you get mixed messages, it’s a no. If you often worry they’ll leave you, it’s a no. Let these signs be a no for now. Call back your energy, do your inner work & heal.
Relationships are fluid. No matter how we want our relationships to be, to go or to stay, it’s not set in stone. We need to honour each other as we are, not as we want each other to be. We can’t force anything. We can set boundaries & ask for agreements but we need to be flexible
Having higher empathy & intuition sometimes stems from having experienced ALOT of hurt. Our heightened awareness can leave us sensing, seeing+feeling MORE than others so it’s key that we have strong/healthy boundaries, be VERY intentional with our time+energy & regularly “let go”
Higher Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean more people will like you. It means you live more authentically, and so you have more flow, joy, grace, respect, integrity & life energy. It’s about stepping into your power, leading your life, and living your truth; not people-pleasing.
Your real friends won’t let their misunderstandings, misinterpretations, assumptions or stories they make up or hear about you, stand. They’ll check in with you. Real heart-connections trump ego-mind tendencies.
Please stop worrying so much about what others think, and start to see that what YOU think, believe & feel - matters. Sure, what the people in our lives think is worth hearing sometimes (or even often), but not at the expense of ignoring our own intuition & inner compass.
Sometimes self-love looks like:
taking space, staying silent, stepping back, doing less. Listen to your body, your heart, your intuition. Do what you gotta do, in the name of love.
No more letting people who drain you, manipulate you or corrode your energy take up space in your head and heart. It’s time to “boundary up”. Let them do their own “work”. No more “allowing”, enabling or “owning” stuff that isn’t yours to own. Let’s each own what we “bring”.
High awareness can be exhausting. You see through the little (& big) lies, mind games, manipulation, denial, dissociation that’s normalized+everywhere. If you’re unavoidably around it, take breaks, do breathwork, meditation/prayer, exercise, self-care & practice boundaries-DAILY.
Matching other people’s energy is how we self-disconnect, self-betray, people-please, lose our boundaries, give away our power, even manipulate. Please don’t. Honouring our own energy, learning to transmute it, share it in healthy ways, be “who & as we are” with others are gifts.
When we love someone in an emotionally healthy way, we won’t try to change or control them, though we may wish better for them. We see them “on their own path” and love them regardless of how their path fits into or compares with ours. We love them with compassion and boundaries.
People who tend to judge and shame others often do that unconsciously as a way to momentarily relieve themselves of their own inner shame and judgement.
It’s time to stop feeling bad for wanting more and receiving more. You deserve every golden opportunity and more. It’s time to go for it. No guilt. No hesitation. Shift away from what isn’t working and step into that lit path, knowing that it is aligned and that you deserve this.
Self care is self love. And without it, we end up pouring from an empty cup and running the risk of burnout, resentment and declining health. Please take enough time to care for yourself every day.
The trauma you ended up with from childhood was not your fault. But it’s up to you to heal it as an adult. I pray you do. You deserve to heal, to embrace your power and to never ever have to endure any trauma again. May your heart, your awareness & your boundaries guide your way.
Healthy heart+soul connections are formed through:
Art
Music
Humour
Healing
Writing
Creating
Dancing
Building
Exploring
Learning
Inventing
Sharing
Touch
Nature
These can create natural highs & expand our humanity, our lives+our ability to love. Let’s do more of this together.❤️
If it triggers you, then you’re unresolved about it, hurt by it or feel guilty about it. It’s up to you to do something about it. Dig in, face it, own it, heal it and let it go - as many times as it takes till you’re done. You deserve freedom from the chains of your triggers.
Uncommunicated expectations stem from low self confidence, low assertiveness and/or unconscious entitlement. If you’re disappointed in others who didn’t do what you had hoped, please start to love, care & reparent yourself and advocate for your needs. Only you owe it to yourself.
Every time we choose not to be accountable for our words, actions & any hurt/harm we’ve caused, we build layers of emotional content within ourselves & between us+others. Doing that leads to more self-disconnection & eventually one day, a whole lot of healing needing to be done.
Love IS unconditional. Love is more than having authentic connections, caring, empathizing, supporting, helping, sharing moments, valuing people for who they are. Love is sometimes also: having boundaries, taking space, not matching energy that doesn’t resonate, letting go.
Please accept that we change, others change & sometimes we no longer resonate with people we so hoped to resonate & be forever close with. Timelines are a reality. People grow & evolve at their own pace. But know that you will be ok. Grieve, ground yourself, let go & keep going.
Unconditional love isn’t the same as ‘staying in a relationship till death do you part, no matter what’ (though both can coexist). Sometimes unconditional love means changing the relationship dynamics and boundaries or even moving on and still loving them. Please understand this.
Being at peace within requires that we must accept that not everyone will share our values & worldviews, care about our needs, goals & priorities, or see our worth. And none of that really matters. Inner peace is about aligning inside & living our truth no matter what anyone says
Whatever angers you, annoys you, frustrates you, saddens you or upsets or triggers you in any way is YOUR unfinished business even if it’s about others. Please face it sooner than later, reconcile it within and move it out. We aren’t built to hold onto emotional content for long
If you’re trying to have meaningful relationships with people that create confusion, avoid questions about about the relationship or leave you feeling unsure about it, it’s time to stop right now. You deserve safety, transparency & respect in your inner circle. As a BARE MINIMUM.
I used to believe that being so sensitive, empathic & feeling so deeply was a curse. But when I learned about boundaries, how to manage my feelings, my empathy & my sensitivity, and about the power that comes from being sensitive/empathic/deep, I realized that these are gifts.
Emotions are energy in motion. They arise for us to learn from & release. They are meant to move through us and then move out of us. So when they come, we must also remember to let them go. They’re not meant to be judged, denied, suppressed, ruminated over or held onto.
When we start to open up and express our sadness, grief, anger, angst, it’s a sign our healing has begun. Keeping our issues bottled up only contains our problems inside of us and increases the pain. May we all find the time and space to release.
Some friends are in your life to understand & love you better, but some hang around just to collect info about you, or worse. Please get serious about boundaries, self-trust & self-connection + using observation, intuition & gut instinct to discern if & how much to trust others.
Please don’t be discouraged by how long it’s taking to feel better, to shift, to sustain the new choices+habits that help you “show up” in ways that serve. Consistent emotions-based work takes MUCH longer to integrate than logic-skill-based work. Keep going. You’re getting there.
If you are feeling manipulated, mistreated or taken advantage of, it’s time to take some space, form good boundaries & learn to be ok with some push-back, uncomfortable conversations & changed relationships. It may be hard, but stepping into your power means standing up for YOU.
Please remember that you are responsible for your words & behaviours, and what you do about your emotions & triggers. They are yours to own. If they are causing stress, interference or distress in your life, it’s time to face them, love yourself more, do your inner work and heal.
Transactional relationships have been normalized so much that we can mistake them for love relationships. Love doesn’t calculate, tally up good deeds+favours, negotiate conditions, expect, control. Love is free flowing, unconditional, non-judgmental, empowering, clear, authentic.
Please take extra care of what you say to yourself about yourself. Your subconscious believes it all. It’s time to override any negative self-talk programming that got into your mind with the good stuff. You deserve better.
Focus more on what you deserve & less about what didn’t work out, or what was lacking. Move in the direction of abundance. You deserve to reside in abundance, with a heart full of gratitude and a mind present with the lessons & blessings of what’s here & now, and what’s possible.
Please keep being authentic so you know who your people are. The ones that don’t appreciate it or can’t handle it will reveal themselves or fall away soon enough.
Please don’t wait for any “authority” outside of yourself to give you permission to do what’s best for you. YOU are the authority on that. Give yourself permission to do what’s best for you now, and always.
I hope your rise in dopamine levels comes more from healthy food, healthy exercise, healthy sex, healthy relationships, healthy sleep, healthy environments, healthy music & other healthy practises, and less from the highs you can get from instant gratification & unhealthy habits.
Please stop believing that everyone has to like you or agree with you. They don’t. And you’re going to be ok if they don’t. Believe that. Believe in you and your journey. It’s unique, it’s yours, and not everyone will, or needs to understand it. You are uniquely, beautifully you.
It’s time to let go of your people-pleasing ways. That program has gone on long enough & now it’s time to purge it. It’s time to live & serve in your power, in integrity, knowing that you’re already enough; not by trying to prove your worth. You are worthy because you were born.
Your body is a sacred space. Treat it with the respect it deserves in what you eat, drink, watch, listen to, focus on, and how you move it, stretch it, cleanse it & share it. Your behaviours, choices, focus, words & what you hold onto/let go of determine the quality of your life.
Realizing that a long time friend or lover that you adore, doesn’t value your heart anywhere near as much as you value theirs, is absolutely heart crushing. May you grieve, cut the cords and create space for what you truly deserve, sooner than later. You deserve so much more.
Please stop fawning over loved ones who stop expressing care & only give you breadcrumbs & the bare minimum. You deserve better. Notice your place in their life. Respond accordingly by withdrawing your precious energy. Please don’t devalue yourself when they don’t value you.
As difficult as it may be, may you take full responsibility and accountability for yourself, your choices, your words, your stories, your opinions, your beliefs, your boundaries, your emotional expressions & your triggers; and may this help you heal, learn, shift, grow & thrive.
Needing to heal doesn’t mean you’re broken, weak, less than, or incapable of anything. It just means you’ve got some stuff to let go of, some stuff to shift, and some love you need to direct inward.
Stop judging yourself and others and start being present with yourself and others. It’s time to set your ego down when it’s not needed. When we do this, we get to feel, practice and experience true mindfulness, authenticity, love and inner freedom.
Sometimes we obsess over why someone doesn’t like us. Let’s give ourselves permission to see it for what it is. Maybe the energy isn’t a match. Maybe we have work to do on our blindspots. Maybe they do. Let’s retire our worries, level up & know we’re worthy no matter who likes us
Emotional intelligence is much more than just awareness of ourselves, our emotions & others. It’s also the inner & outer work we do that helps us navigate+optimize every aspect of life, including our relationships, work life & every interaction, decision & challenge we may face.
Being ghosted, unfriended or downgraded with no option to talk about it can be heartbreaking. You may feel unloved, wronged & needing closure. Please face it, feel it, accept it, learn+grow from it & heal+love yourself through it. Please don’t bottle it, ignore it or belabour it.
If there is one thing that we must stay committed to throughout life, it is self-love (which includes self-awareness, self care and self-advocacy for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being). You deserve to & you MUST be there for yourself till your last breath.
Learning to be accountable for our words, actions, behaviours, mistakes & sometimes our blindspots (that often get revealed in difficult times/times of conflict with others) is how we grow, become more resilient, and build a stronger inner foundation & stronger bonds with others.
Please limit or stop giving your energy, focus, thoughts, time & efforts to those who don’t value you. You know who they are, even though may hurt to admit it. Please stop that. Instead, lean into energizing the people, places & things that fill your bucket and that truly serve.