weird fish @Sick_Sage Twitter profile

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weird fish

6 years

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. . . And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Babysitting toddlers is basically preventing them from killing themselves and destroying the world.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

I strongly believe in budgeting. I never stick to any of my budgets, but they know I strongly believe in them.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Well no one can say GOT isn’t realistic.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

You can run, you can hide, but your Indian parents will prevail and you’ll end up being a doctor.

Callum mckivett

@Callummckivett1

6 years

That moment you realise dr lapham from bird box is jess from bend it like beckham😂

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Eba is the perfect swallow. Smoothness layered over roughness. Consistent. Plenty nooks and crannies so the soup enters it and mixes well. Minimal smell. Mild taste so it doesn't interfere with the taste of the soup. Easy to make. 10/10.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Lmao do you realize how ridiculous it is for the Dothraki and the Unsullied to lose their queen, say “ah well that’s life I guess” and just bounce?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

I spend 2 hours laying in bed wondering if I really want to eat or I should just starve, then I end up heating up rice. What about that makes you think I want to be responsible for another person’s existence? I don’t even want to be responsible for mine.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

The reactions to this Adele divorce thing remind me that celebrities aren’t really people to us. They’re items to be consumed and discarded when we’ve wrung them dry.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

Was recommending bojack to a babe and I told her I loved how the show explored intergenerational trauma and how it leads to a life of self-loathing and questionable decisions. She said “and this is a character you relate to”? I just sabi say I don fuck up.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Having to choose your career in SS1 was really too much pressure.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

If they release it before birth enemies can spoil the pregnancy

Tori

@FreeTori

7 years

Why do Nigerians like to release the pregnancy pictures AFTER the baby has been born?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Don't pay people surprise visits. What if they just wanted to sleep, but now they have to host you. But no, you only think of yourself.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I like being a part of social circles, but on the fringe. Friendly enough with everyone to partake in shared joy and proffer help but not being entangled with the messiness of their personal lives.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

I like how the seat belt alarm gets tired and stops beeping after a while like "okay if you want to die die"

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass...

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

Zuckerberg read your monopoly tweets and said “I’ll be back in a giphy”

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

Twitter used to be so nice. People would come on in the morning and greet everybody, people would announce new avis and get compliments..

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Worst friends are those who take subtle jabs at your dreams and aspirations, lowkey belittling you and making you doubt yourself

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

"if you like dey there"

T.

@tunjiframes

7 years

How do you respond to a "...so you really moved on?" text.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Meeting your partner on social media is as valid as meeting them at the bus stop. Don't let ignorance stop you from finding true love.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Anyhow man. You can chew the raw indomie and drink hot water, as long as belle full

Der Unbesiegbare

@mhagayr

8 years

Yo quick question. Is the water supposed to boil before you put the indomie inside?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I think the point being made is that she’s tired of being sexually objectified, and likes that she’s being seen as a person outside of her sexual desirability. Not that she automatically disrespects anyone who finds her sexually desirable. Seems like a valid concern.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

People on social media never think they’re the people on social media that people complain about.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

10 years

Nigerian version of "make hay while the sun shines" is "iron your clothes immediately nepa brings light"

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

People who say “false rape accusations make it harder to prosecute real ones” seem not to realize what they’re admitting. What does it say about systemic bias and false equivalence that a fringe false positive occurrence can nullify hundreds of true positive occurrences?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

I can’t think of a single scenario in my life where overthinking has made things better. But has that stopped me from doing it? Of course not.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

For Nigerians the amount of meat you put in their food is directly proportional to the respect you have for them.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

My barber just accosted me on my street and said "no be my side you cut this hair". See me stammering explanations.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

It’s funny to me when people who run one-man businesses use “we” on their official accounts. Only you, legion.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Only thing getting in the way of me and my fitness goals is rice. And bread. And eba. And pasta. And alcohol. And a slowing metabolism. And lack of self-discipline. And....

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Arresting women for “indecent dressing”, labeling them as prostitutes, and sexually assaulting them is gendered. It doesn’t mean other forms of systemic discrimination don’t exist.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Twitter has helped my growth, a lot. Some times from active criticism, other times by watching other people engage. If a large part of our interactions are now online then we shouldn't downplay the importance of the discussions that can be had here.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

Not planning to have kids definitely helps ease the pressure of feeling like you have to have things figured out at a certain age. Knowing you’re really only responsible for yourself and if worst comes to worst you’ll just die >>>>

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

I went through a lot as a child, but nothing prepared me for adults using their star signs as excuses for obviously problematic behavior.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I get secondhand embarrassment so bad I pause movies when characters are being ridiculous and I just Google to know how they end. Or I skip by 5 minutes.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Because the use of "God" in conversation is cultural. Do you think people who say "oh my God" while fucking are worshipping God for helping them fornicate?

Tip

@trafels

6 years

A self proclaimed atheist thanking God for being atheist. I doubt you'll see anything more ridiculous today.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Lmao why is quantum physics always used as some proof of intelligence? Who is regularly discussing quantum physics as small talk?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

I never understand when people say "I'm not homophobic but I don't accept it". Accept it as what? Your personal Lord and saviour?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Only selfish bastards say things like "you don't owe anyone anything". The least you owe people invested in your life is basic decency.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

Can’t believe I have to work for a living.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Nigerian men who'd nearly kill a gay man if they woke up to him groping them suddenly think if you sleep next to a person it's consent.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Nigerians really think suffering is proof that you're not lazy. That's why things like washing machines seem like luxuries.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Did 10 sit ups and now I'm eating pounded yam and egusi with gulder. Because life is about balance.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Comedians get to be hypersensitive about having their art criticized, while accusing everyone else of being hypersensitive for not liking their art. Win win if you ask me.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

People who brag about not reading fiction are weird to me. "hey look at me I don't have the imagination required to enjoy a well-told story haha I'm special".

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

He has lyrics where he promises material reward for intimacy, so it seems his primary contention with transactional sex is women expecting/demanding payment. He also seems to think sexual objectification in the context of sex work equals objectification of women everywhere.

Joey Akan

@JoeyAkan

5 years

Falz on being accused of slut-shaming. "I hate transactional sex."

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Twitter is funny. One moment you're reading a thread on gender discrimination, next thing you're watching porn.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

If your objection to sex work is based on religious morality, that’s valid. The problem is when religious people think their religion is transcendent and should govern the lives of people who don’t ascribe to that religion.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Lmao Nigerian songs kill me. Calm sounding song starts. Very first lyric: “baby this your nyash na shitor”

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Guys, my friend, a proper Anambra man, just opened a site where you can buy original spare parts. Please check them out mrparts.ng

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

How I sleep knowing nobody will try to play an April Fool's prank on me because I don't have any friends or loved ones

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

“Separating art from artist” is for when Burna Boy starts to tweet nonsense and you just unlook.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Sex is weaponised against women. Words like "slut" are used as tools of this weaponisation. If it's commonized then it loses it's pejorative value. If everyone is a slut then no one is a slut. I don't think this is hard to understand.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Saying that a dress “leaves little to the imagination” is funny to me because why are you going around imagining people’s bodies under their clothes? Calm down bros.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Unnecessarily contributing to traffic and global warming. Smfh irresponsible.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Cersei isn’t smart. “Smartest” thing she did was using wildfire on the great sept to kill her enemies, and even that problem was self-inflicted. But what she lacks in brilliance she makes up for in intensity and cruelty. Passion merchant.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

So all of us will now enter the covenant and do what? Group chat?

P-money

@visualsbyuche

9 years

For everybody you've had sex with, you've entered into a covenant with them.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

I see your attempt to disgrace me and I raise you my lack of shame.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

When Nigerians living in Nigeria are discussing prices in naira, converting to foreign currency to downplay the cost is stupid, and shows your ignorance of basic economics. Stop it.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

Don’t hide anyone’s glasses abeg. Impaired vision is a disability, not a joke.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Going to the club this weekend to look at the faces of the people who have the audacity to turn up in this present economic situation

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

When They See Us being the inspiration for all this talk about false rape accusations is weird because someone was actually raped in it. It’s about systemic racism.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Wow Snikoggs stole his tweets? Yurily never know people.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

Actually the whole theme of my life is enjoying things/people without feeling the need to possess them permanently. I wonder what that means.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Me: Reach out to people, no man is an island Also Me: You don't have strength abeg, we all came to this world alone

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Lots of guys who'll treat tens of women like shit, then treat "the one" like a queen, and think that makes up for everything.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

Do you ever wonder how people with poor eyesight survived in hunter-gatherer societies? Imagine going through life not sure if that thing hurtling towards you is a deer or a lion.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

2 years

If the average Nigerian woman can’t be scammed of $250,000 it’s because they don’t have access to that kind of money to begin with. Not their exceptional powers of discernment.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

RIP 2018. The evil you’ve done is enough.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

It's funny how you can just forget to reply a person and keep planning to get back to them and before you know it 1 year has passed

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

5 years

If you’re looking to get into a serious relationship with a person you should probably be open about your eccentricities as soon as you can, so they’ll know if they can live with it. Selective honesty is for flings.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Lots of us think we're "decent" men but if we're being honest we'll admit we're problematic when we deal with members of the opposite sex

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

Let's not act like society doesn't imply that people who dress and look a certain way are better than others. Context is important.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

One time I thought I was heartbroken but then I ate and I realised it was just hunger.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

My mum keeps praying I don’t meet someone who leads me away from the path of righteousness. She doesn’t know I’m the one who knocks.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

It's funny when fornicators invoke God to judge other fornicators for outfornicating them.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

When she says "treat me like a princess" you gotta lock her up at home then marry her off to another kingdom to strengthen your alliance

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

3 years

Why are people insistent that we have to bring children into this world? What is it about life that makes us think it’s a gift that must be bestowed on the unborn?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I’m running out to die first chance I get.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

9 years

Lool but the men's homes will remain intact cos they'll be marrying goats abi

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

But now you've told Twitter

Mercy

@_Kaimaa

8 years

There's a reason I don't joke with my step mum. Dad had issues with his job for 3yrs. No payment. No one knew. Not even his family members

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Women steal your finest shirts so you can't wear them and attract other women. It's a mating strategy.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Ask the average woman about her experiences with men, and you'll hear a lot of bad stories. They can't all be lying.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I'm not comfortable with people doing nice things for me if I can't afford to do nice things for them in return.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

On one hand 2018 has been trash but on the other hand it’s given us Gallant, Sufjan Stevens, and Rebecca Sugar on the same track.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

Lol it's amazing how everything is the woman's fault, including the man's failings

Chef

@esibobbie

8 years

My father was a drunk, irresponsible, bla bla bla. Errr, can we talk about your mother's choices in men?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

One of my favourite things to do is rush home then proceed to do nothing.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I should stop typing lmao so much. I'm not even happy.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

Can you imagine the stress that must have gone into setting this up for hours, only to make a cool video that’s done in one minute? That’s how I feel about cooking.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

So you were reading his works without learning to pronounce his name first? Really put descartes before the horse.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

When you want to procrastinate till 4pm but you check your time and it's already 4.10

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

4 years

Tweets like these are funny to me. The tweeters seem to think they’ve hacked the system.

Aminah🇵🇸

@cocomeena

4 years

Me on my wedding day going on twitter to tweet "men are scum" 💀😂

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

8 years

The materialism in Nigeria is disgusting. But if you talk now they'll say you don't have money.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Anyway if you show up to my house unexpected I won't open the door for you. On principle.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

Tell your pastor "God's chosen people" think weed is okay

CNN

@CNN

7 years

Israel makes it official: The recreational use of marijuana is not a crime

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

How do you people think jokes like this are funny? At this point they’re stale and unoriginal and even the shock factor is gone so it’s really just stupidity remaining.

𓃶¹𝕁𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕪

@JudusMaximus

6 years

Before I shoot my shot, she ain't got it right?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

6 years

I don't know what logic you people used to arrive at the conclusion that people outside Nigeria shouldn't talk about the suffering in Nigeria. Isn't the fact that they left proof that the suffering in Nigeria chased them away?

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage

7 years

You won't get cheated on if you never form any emotional connections and never get into relationships and die alone. But you don't listen.

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weird fish

@Sick_Sage