Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹 @Shuttsapalooza Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@OvertonWin

@bisycuits

@biolaojo_

@_abr12

@galeryissa

@irodori_odori

@3BooD_CS

@taxninja

@EvinsBret94235

@deafhavana

@MariamBarhmha7

@lionsclubs

@buzhisuoweo

@mhscoachsherman

@HooliNerd

@BGCS0909

@jandakembangstw

@BottomDelhi

@strugglingandco

@_Effy

@theMMQB

@jandakembangstw

@AeroArmour

@BrytonsThoughts

@Dreomm_

@iepphany1

@bkguillory

@chenriiee

@Cj6eW2dn00T91ex

@Tony45821646

@stwmaniax

@softimilki

@megabeille

@BJSuperFanzi

@prof_preobr

@FSoaS_

Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Got kicked out the casino last night for being too drunk, but when I was getting taken out, folk were asking why, I kept saying “card counting” and the bouncer became the most rattled man in the world. Screaming “that’s not why!” at me.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Feel old yet?!

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

No message is as powerful as one of the lads saying “just seen your mate”. Could mean anything. Someone who punched you 8 years ago? An ex’s new boyfriend? A known local nonce? All possibilities. But what you do know is, it’s going to be a direct hit & everyone is laughing at you

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

“He’s a freak... He's the fastest kid alive...”

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Neil Lennon’s PR advisor -

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

WHAT A FUCKING MAN

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

Of course they’re losing, their whole team has been sent off!

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 years

All these old fucks roaming the streets when they’re the only ones vaccinated

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

8 months

Old boy in the pub hitting out with “nice costume!” to everyone coming in just dressed normally tonight. Huge laugh every time too. Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy watching the masters at work.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 months

Jimmy Carr hosting one of the Countdown episodes

U.S. politicians doing normal shit

@normalpols

2 years

Richard Nixon sitting at his desk. July 1952.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

I’ll tell you one thing, Robert Lewandowski absolutely has a 43 apps 3 goals spell as Chelsea’s number 9 in him.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 years

Sure that new Ajax away shirt will look lovely sat in your middle drawer next to the 2018 Nigeria one that you also couldn’t pull off.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

You know who absolutely has a run at an Old Firm club in him? Neal Maupay.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

10 days

Big Al is in the absolute form of his life. A man who knows he’s going to be without Wrighty by his side and is stepping up.. and how!

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

First look at Adam Driver as Mick McCarthy in Michael Mann’s ‘MCCARTHY’.

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

2 years

First look at Adam Driver as Enzo Ferrari in Michael Mann’s ‘FERRARI’.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

7 months

Fucking hell, that stadium really is falling apart!

mufcmpb

@mufcMPB

7 months

🚨🚨 MAJOR BREAKING: Erik ten Hag has LOST 50% of the Manchester United dressing room! #MUFC [ @SkyKaveh ]

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

Just took 93yr Mum to vote, she’s registered blind. In a very loud voice she said, “What if long-range goals counted double?” A cheer went up from waiting voters.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

“The teams when I was 13 are pure Barclays!” “No, the teams when I was 13 are pure Barclays!”

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 months

Gary Neville getting sued is very funny because there is a man who would absolutely represent himself in court

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

This tweet didn’t deserve these numbers, fucking hell

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

Limmy going off on one about Scottish Twitter last night might be the highlight of the twitch streams so far.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

The absolutely vile ‘joke’ at the end of this advert for Paddy McGuinness’ football DVD, Paddy McGuinness All Star Balls-Ups, has been stuck in my head since the day I seen it. Proper scarred for life stuff.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

Me 🤝 Relegation battling sides needing a central midfielder in the 2010s

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

Boy in the bar keeps saying “Senior Hoilett more like” in conversations about a 33 year old Junior Hoilett playing for Aberdeen that he himself keeps starting.. and I’m in total awe. When you have a line that good, why would you not use it.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

What’s Liverpool’s number 9 got to do with it?!

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Hahahahaha. What a beautiful moment 💙💙💙

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

When the pub has the NFL on -

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

“Seats available in our brand new beer garden!” The beer garden -

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 months

Kalvin Phillips isn’t just playing his way out of the euros. He’s playing his way into an Old Firm loan move.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

When the captain of Glasgow Rangers finds out the referee isn’t a Freemason

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

10 months

This is the greatest 6:12am tweet of all time.

Manfuego

@manfuego007

10 months

Is it just me or is Uncle Albert fucking hench?

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

@JonnyBoyden I like a challenge

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

Easily the greatest sporting comeback of all time. Tears in my eyes. Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Buying football boots on ebay

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Hahahahahaha. “Weird”

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Nothing but respect for people replying to an engagement or pregnancy announcement on Facebook & making it clear that they’d already been told. Absolute power move, reminding the riffraff that there’s an order to these things.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

11 months

Boy in this pub has asked what school I went to and is now just listing ‘hard lads’ who went there, shaking my hand every time I know one. Ready to post my 5 star review on trip advisor, this is Sunday pub’ing.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Tell us Glasgow pubs are full of folk only here for COP26 without telling us Glasgow pubs are full of folk only here for COP26

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

You thought Helicopter Sunday was great? Just wait until we’re minutes away from the losing the title this season, when.. what’s that?! It’s Super Ally! And he’s cashing in the 10 points he had deducted in 2012!

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

6 months

Paul Merson

@PaulMerse

6 months

On Soccer Saturday doing the Luton v Newcastle game, got a weird feeling for Luton today.. Newcastle struggling with injuries

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

Ignore the record low points thing. This Sheffield United are far worse than the Derby team, simply cauee there’s not an ounce of banter in them. Oh, someone ate a sandwich. Alright, call us when club captain, Robbie Savage is having to back the manager after his sex tape leaked

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

I want to hear about players the streets DID completey forget. I’ll start.. Arda Turan.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 years

This is the most thrilling bit of television I’ve ever seen.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

(Every group chat in the country) “We all watching Glasto?” “Aye, mate 🍻 “ “Been class” “We need to go” “Defo 😂” “For sure” “Next year 👀” “I’ll ask” “Here he goes..” “I’m in.” “When does registration open?” (Never mentioned again for 12 months)

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

@GeorgeB97665083 I still made more sense than this

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

In awe at a 52 year old Lee Mack having a framed Joker poster up on his wall

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

8 months

“How Ange Postecoglou’s team actually losing 4-1 to a local rival taught me it was ok to not be ok and that we should speak to our mates”

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Even the follow-up has done ridiculously too well. Who has a Spotify I can link?

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 years

The big man played 21 minutes for the club. What a ride.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

Boycie & Marlene

Great British Getty Images

@shitbritishpics

1 year

The Cheeky Girls with Saddam Hussein waxwork during Fabulous Gay Weddings launch party at Madame Tussauds in London, Great Britain (2005)

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

State of Sam Matterface there, patting The FA on the back for lighting the Wembley arch in rainbow colours as a protest, like when your auntie shares a missing dog Facebook post from Inverness when she lives in Wigan.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

The Phoenix Club when Den Perry got arrested

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 month

This is turning out to be the worst decision anyone has ever made in the history of football

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

11 months

Nothing is more important than getting this costume into the possession of Johnny Knoxville.

Tiffany Fong

@TiffanyFong_

11 months

A Japanese man spent over $20K for this border collie costume. You cannot convince me this isn’t some weird sex thing.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

A Liam Gallagher & John Squire album, but it’s now 2024

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 months

What my brother, good Rangers man, has been made to wear for his stagger in Ibiza

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

When I started working for Brewdog, the staff induction covered the entire company and it was explained that they don’t have TVs in their bars showing football cause they don’t want to attract “that type of people”

callum tyler

@callum_t__

2 years

Preferred when they refused to do ads tbh

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

They’ll say Messi winning the World Cup is the main narrative, but really it’s - that Hugo fucking Lloris simply CANNOT be allowed to become the first captain to lift back-to-back World Cups. There’s no way our beautiful game could ever come back from such a blow.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 months

Photoshoot with the goalkeeper your club has just signed

Billy Mays III

@infinitethird

2 months

when people say they don’t know what to do with their hands in photos, it’s just because they’re too afraid to do this

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

5 years

Looks like he’s away to give his score heading home on Come Dine with Me.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

When someone tells you that’s nae a bank machine -

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

7 months

Yer Da phones up TalkSport and brings up previous calls he’s made when making his point and the presenters don’t remember him.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

Some 17 year old replying to an Instagram post of Jimmy Bullard playing in some charity game

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Mail Sport

@MailSport

2 years

Eddie Howe comes out in a formal suit to honour Queen Elizabeth II before quickly changing for Newcastle touchline duties

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

7 months

Luton Town, an incredible advert for your newly promoted signings not being ‘highly rated prospects’ from France or Belgium, but getting in ‘they know the league’ and ‘can still do a job’ good Barclaysman. You just love to see someone who actually gets it.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

6 years

You’re only spoiling things for yourself if you don’t respond to Ally McCoist’s “Afternoon everybody” with an “Afternoon Ally”

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Ally McCoist commentating on that Queen of the South chance - “Stephen Hendrie arriving right on cue” And that folks is why he’s the best in the business.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Just the best to ever do it

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

I know we have to agree that papers hacking phones is a bad thing.. BUT, it’s clearly in the nation’s best interests that we see the state of Jack Grealish’s DMs from the last 60 or so hours.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Jürgen Klopp when Geoff Shreeves asks how he feels about the Saudi’s human rights records after they’ve bought him Mbappé & Jude Bellingham.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Leigh Griffiths going to Celtic games in the same season they punted him, like one of them absolute dossers who left your school but still hung about outside every lunchtime, is incredibly on brand.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

no one has ever looked like this before

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

“Nah, bro. We definitely don’t do Tennent's here, ha. The Quadruple Dry Hopped Cloudy Rye fused with Vaporised Goat’s Milk West Coast IPA is only £6.80 though.”

COPA90

@Copa90

2 years

St Pauli put Dortmund to the sword last night knocking them out of the DFB Pokal, and we're willing to bet their tunnel played a part in some pre-match intimidation🏴‍☠️ Wouldn't fancy that as the away team...

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

7 months

Ange Proddycoglou

Rangers Football Club

@RangersFC

7 months

#RangersFC are today delighted to confirm the completion of the men’s football board, with the appointment of Nils Koppen from PSV Eindhoven as Director of Football Recruitment, subject to receipt of a work permit. 📲

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

A classic case of a guy in the pub who clearly popped in for one after doing the shopping but it’s got out of hand. How do I know? Cause he’s currently shaking a pack of 3 mixed peppers above his head to Lonely Boy by The Black Keys like he’s Bez with a maraca.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 month

Sean Dyche playfully laughing about Kompany doing a worse job than him at Burnley but ending up with the Bayern job. Smiles out the outside, but it’s fuelling his 24/25 season. Everton finishing top 6, confirmed. The man has a point to prove, European edition.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Simply the Undisputed King of Patter

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

@edzitron @Oda_CM Your Ma’s casino

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

@pieceandturkey January 2026, deadline day, joins who is 2nd on loan. 14 apps, 5 goals, 2 red cards. One goal is an Old Firm winner, another is in the Scottish Cup final, which is the only medal he wins. Always flirts with coming back, goes to Turkey instead. Still likes tweets, problematic ones

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Bassey & Patterson at the next gaff

Clyde 1 Superscoreboard

@ClydeSSB

3 years

🔵First-team players Nathan Patterson, Bongani Zungu and Calvin Bassey plus academy youngsters Brian Kinnear and Dapo Mebude were charged by the Scottish FA after flouting lockdown rules by attending an illegal house party last month.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Bundesliga English

@Bundesliga_EN

3 years

He does not miss... @ErlingHaaland is ridiculous! 😳

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 month

We used to do things properly

G_mble

@G_mble9

1 month

Just thought of the pre Cup Final poem spoken in a horrendously exaggerated Manc accent they’re gonna show on the tele tomorrow and shuddered

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Scott Wright is currently being rested for a European final.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 months

Steve Bruce just said he seen a Man United stat “on reddit”, maybe the most jarring thing I’ve ever heard. Someone get this man a job before r/Bacon are storming Wembley Stadium to get him an England cap.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

3 years

Thoughts & prayers with this legend tonight x

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Ladies & gentleman.. The Cinch

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

11 days

Alan Shearer delivering his playful “miracles do happen.. you can buy me a drink” bit in the same rattled tone he’s done his commentary in cause he’s so angry at this England team was class. Like he’s genuinely sick of Guy Mowbray not getting a round in & is ready to lamp him.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 month

Mike Bassett: Woke Manager

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

There’s going to be more The Athletic articles written about the people who live in these houses than there will be about all of Scottish football next season

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

6 years

The 3rd place playoff needs replaced by a World Cup All-Star game. Bring back the 45 year old keeper, the guy who tried the somersault throw, Herve Renard. Champion & McCoist do commentary. Robbie Williams closing ceremony. Trophy presented by Kirsten Dunst or Mel, from Mel & Sue

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

11 months

Oppenheimer, but it’s the genius fella who first thought to put cans of lager in the freezer. He’s having the night of his life, then wakes up the next day to the incredible scenes of loss cause he left 2 in over night, they’ve exploded & he’s never the same again. Flew too close

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

4 months

Young lad just came in. Clearly wired, with his pals. He orders a glass of water. I took him aside a bit & said “you can’t just order a water like that, they’ll know you’re on it”. He is over the top thankful. Goes back up. Orders a water & a pack of crisps. They’ll never learn.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

This is the most honest representation of how people actually end up searching for something on their phone anyone has ever been brave enough to share. Everyone taking this piss is simply in denial. Carlton, thank you.

Carlton Palmer

@CarltonPalmer

1 year

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

2 years

Tyrone Mings, the guy Gerrard dropped & stripped of the captaincy, then scoring the own goal that gets him sacked, is a simply stunning bit of Barclays booking.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

9 months

The laughs from the lads in the Monday Night Football studio the first time Carragher drops a “and for that reason, I’m out” on Neville during some analysis is going to be an all timer.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

1 year

It is mad the amount of shouts that Alex Turner is shite. If Sam Fender had 3 of these tunes, he could play arenas in cities he doesn’t wear football tops for. If Matt Healy actually looked like that in a black suit/white shirt, he’d still be with Taylor Swift. It’s just levels.

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Nuno Crapucho 🇵🇹

@Shuttsapalooza

11 months

Open for a really mad fucking surprise