☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁ @Shavin_ Twitter profile

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

I'd be very disappointed if his other name is Rhumba. Sir Carter Rhumba.

Beyoncé Related 𐚁

@Beyoncerelated

2 years

Beyoncé and her only son Sir Carter 💙

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@Shavin_

9 months

Talking stage na rich kids you can be told muende Watamu ku swim with dolphins na hujakula siku mbili

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@Shavin_

11 months

Women living alone eat like pests, my God. Noodles, two slices of bread and wine for dinner thrice a week izo siku zingine analala njaa na Out of Africa mixed nuts kwa kiti kama nyau. And the government is just quiet!

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 months

KTDA seems to forget who exactly their largest tea market serves. Kutakuwa na consumer uproar in one or two international markets waseme they are flagging Kenyan tea ndio they'll stop writing essays on twitter about their history.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Nairobi rap boys throw hoods in their upus lines like its West Coast or Compton "Niko Kiserian na manzi yako..." Kaeni nayeye huko kabisa Osoufia

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Somali mamas hukuwa na drip ingine impeccable. No one else in the world can pull genuine Air Jordan's na buibui with airpods as accessories

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

Kama unataka kutumia paka yako kupiga nguo pasi hakuna mutu amekukataza. It's your pussy.

Missy G 🩷💯💥💫

@MerciGeeh

4 years

Nani aliambia wakenya kazi ya paka ni kukula panya

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Who called it Nairobi Town and not just...

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

And women get this implanted into their uterus?? Damn bro respect women!!

Mr. No Day's Off.

@Nyasimi_

2 years

IED explosion.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Petite mamis hakuna cha ati una go down. You just lift and hold them above your head then tilt them at an angle konokono juice inakumwagikia straight kwa epiglottis kama raw oysters. Very nifty queens.

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@Shavin_

6 months

There's a silent crisis unfolding right before our eyes. 90s babies are now being lured, forced, coerced, and tricked into early marriages from as young as 30 years of age and the government is just quiet.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

Literally every other woman on a regular market day in Kibuye

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Kuna siku nimeenda kuangusha community huko Sultan Hamud nikaend up karibu nifutwe kazi for a very flimsy reason. Let me humor you with my life's clownery tales. Gather around for a mini - Thread.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

Ooh wewe ndio ile dancer ya "Peleke na rieng?"

RUTO MUST GO

@T_Gathoni

5 years

Beginning of the decade. End of the decade

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@Shavin_

4 years

I had to confirm this because what the flamingo!

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

That aside, suppose he buys a car, will he change his name to George Naendesha?

Nation Africa

@NationAfrica

5 years

George Natembeya owns land in Mau Forest, court told

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Lmaoo hot coming from people who insert 450-volt vibrating electrical devices within their pee apparatus. Where is the insurance agenda?

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

Karigoh, it'd barely hours since you called out a woman for body shaming another woman but here you are shaming a woman for rushing home to breastfeed? Juu ameomba 50 bob?? I really love to see it.

UnpRAWvoked

@karigoh

5 years

Lakini unatoanisha madame kwa hii app na wewe kama babe number one unaomba chwani ndio ulipiie nduthi uende home upatie mtoi natural food. Make it make sense please 🤗

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

7 years

@WAVYDESIGN_ You got the attention you wanted but in case somebody was wondering, here is the real picture

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

11 months

Unaeza go a full year circle and your only achievement is managing to pull through with your life intact. And that's perfectly fine. I don't think we celebrate people enough for staying alive in these times.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Nikienda kwa jadhot Osumo nauliza io wamama "Uko na large?" kanajibu "Iko. Nikupatie wet?" Mimi nasemea yeye "Eeh. Uko na juices pia?" Kanasema "Yes, warm ama na ice cubes?" natoka inje huko kwa barabara nihakikishe niko kwa otel ya samaki buana

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

1 month

Nairobi men do the equivalent of shooting up rounds in the block every fortnight to keep the rent low

Get Arum

@ArumSam_

1 month

The bar is so low in Nairobi that a babe had to post on TikTok that she is finally going out on a date with a man who had made plans. Mnafanya wadem mbaya huku nje mkiwaambia "Come to my house we drink tap water" 😂

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@Shavin_

2 months

Ku make it in this country right now itabidi you detach your moral compass from the bag pursuit.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

8 months

Huwa mnaongelea Safaricom PLC in coded language like it's a top secret government program

katungi dev ⚡

@WarriorRapid

8 months

Have you guys seen the migration from Waiyaki way on LinkedIn? 😂😂

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

And you cant save your way into financial freedom

Candy 🇵🇸🇰🇪✊🏿

@Canduh_

3 years

You cannot ‘budget’ your way out of poverty

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

Maybe I'm too old fashioned but I find those NTV news pun chyrons plainly stupid and quite frankly, a national television bending over backwards to appeal to a marginal section of its viewership for online traction is just sad.

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@Shavin_

3 years

Mnakuanga na hasira gunia tatu just waiting to surface

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@Shavin_

3 years

Looks like the prerequisite to making anything electric is firing the design team

TurboDiesel

@alexmwanzo

3 years

Karura with Gaidi and my electric toys.

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@Shavin_

8 months

In light of what's happening, let me bring back these words of wisdom by Sunny Bindra. The ink has barely dried on this article.

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@Shavin_

3 years

Birds hushoot some very weak shots huwa unaingia box tu because as a man you understand what rejection feels like. Otherwise, hizo moves can't even trap a pigeon dying of gonorrhea.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Kenyan parents right now: "Unaona vile watu ya bangi wanaanguka? Unaona?"

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Alcoholics will go out of their way until the addiction kicks in and now you want a standing ovation for going 13 minures without alcohol

Black Forum South Africa

@BlackForumSA

3 years

Gents allow me to plug you for clubs, church and stadiums.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Needless to say, I had to get to work na hakuna mtu anauza nguo Sultan at that time. Nikavaa one of those things anga sijui tank top or crop top whatever nikuwa nakaa kabadmanz ametoka umalaya. One of the lowest points of my life hahah

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

@msgeebaby_ Tough? I'd be on the forefront calling in sick for the whole house including myself

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

Train your sons, gentlemen. The failure to carry out your duty is too great a cost for the society to bear

Rash ™

@Rashousmane

4 years

Huyu mwanaume ameshika hio camera anatakaje?

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Right before posting this tweet :D

Gentle.Giant 💜

@Mr_Kudamaster

3 years

Masturbating is rubbish man, we are meant for sex not this nonsense.

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@Shavin_

3 years

Today would be a good day to retweet this :D

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

@kwskenya could you send rangers to Mokoyiet Picnic Site at Nairobi National Park? There's a lion between me and the car I can't get out of the ablution block.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

7 months

I find it hard to date down by age because the things I relate to sometimes don't make sense to mamas. Went on a date with a beauty with a tooth gap and spent most of it wondering who she reminded me of. 2 hours in & it hit me - God she looks like Toroitich Arap Moi!! WTH??

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Kuna Modern Coast ilikuwa inapita huko sijui around 6am. Nikaskia ikipiga horn ikipita na that was my means to Nairobi nikajua baaas! Leo napanda lorry asubuhi kama malaya

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Can someone give a number that gets to the goddamn KWS rangers?? Nairobi National Park or the HQ. How is there a lion at a picnic site man!!

☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

@kwskenya could you send rangers to Mokoyiet Picnic Site at Nairobi National Park? There's a lion between me and the car I can't get out of the ablution block.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Spent most of 2021 in clothes but well...

kim jong cods

@youloveleona

3 years

Men, quote this with your favourite shirtless pic of 2021 🥺👉🏾👈🏾

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

When people realize you have no options/alternatives, be ready to get unapologetically disrespected and disappointed to within a millimeter of your existence.

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@Shavin_

2 years

Karibu nikuwe house husband nikuwe naamka na kikoi na akina Mwajuma huko kupepeta mtama! Safe to say, that was the last time I went to Sultan Hamud and that was the last time I tried doing anything romantic in a bedistter. Mapenzi ya Narobi pia nilipiga marufuku.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Yeye "Ghai sa utadu?" Hated that statement from that day. What do you mean nitado? You dont have some extra shirt of some nigga you cheating on me with nivae? Yeye "Huh?" Me: Nvm. Yeye: Hebu nikuangalilie zangu. Mwenye anataka kuniangalilia tshirt yake ako sijui size 1.5!

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@Shavin_

3 years

This was a very dark time

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Sometimes I go out of brand, put on clothes and pretend that I'm a decent human being.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

7 months

22 holes dug and done and it took all my reserves. Truly truly I say unto thee, hakuna kupumzika hapa

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Akapanga all the tshirts she thought could fit me hapo on the bed. Naziangalia zinakaa nguo za dolly. At that moment I'm thinking "What a fake ass adult. Unavaa aje nguo zinatoshana na handkerchief?" Yeye ako like "Beb vaa tu hawatanotice, bado ni asubuhi" Naangalia yeye vibaya.

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@Shavin_

11 months

You wonder why someone shops at the kids section kumbe the body is stretching operations between nibbles of noodles and wine atamea saa ngapi?

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

@ssbo She evidently hasn't mastered it

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

Twitter is all fun and games until you realize the people that are actively trying to slut you out are 22 years old. Girl I'm a decade away from retirement; you're lucky I'm shameless and my ethics low. Keep going.

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@Shavin_

2 years

Then it gets fucked up. Kuenda kuvaa napata nilirusha shirt usiku ikaingia kwa sufuria sijui ya maji ya ugali mamae! Fabric ililala hapo whole night iko soggy kama algae. Naamusha yeye "Beb shirt yangu iko kwa sufuria. Inakaa iko baridi hebu amka"

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@Shavin_

3 years

Stay dangerous and unpredictable. Never let them guess who is next.

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@Shavin_

3 years

Make a habit of kupitia Luthuli from time to time whenever you are feeling worthless and get a reassurance of your value

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@Shavin_

3 years

As long as serikal has not employed me, they'll have to get used to these nil returns even if I make millions of shillings. You can't expect returns where you have not invested. Nyawawa.

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@Shavin_

7 months

It's not a "talking stage" if they aren't talking back. Some of you champs are on interrogation stage - just asking all the questions like a state operative and you can't see the problem.

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@Shavin_

2 years

Anyway, I made it to Nairobi, went home and changed then went to face the office. I got off with a warning but I kept the story to myself. That weekend, I got myself a new line, tossed the old one and traveled to shags to rethink my life decisions

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@Shavin_

2 years

Now here is the thing. After setting the mood, mimi nikajifanya wild Alejandro hapo nikatake out manguo nikazirusha backwards ki telenovela. Both mine and hers. My friend! Nikaangusha community with my two minutes of honest work nikaface ukuta buana forgetting its a Sunday.

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@Shavin_

2 years

So I was young and wild with time and money to spare. Dangerous. And the sex drive of a bonobo. Double dangerous. Used to freelance at some ka small office in an apartment block huko Othaya Rd.

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@Shavin_

2 years

It had been a fornight so I was hot like a heeto! Nikajua I wanna spice things up a little bit sio kila siku kupinduana kama pancake na kuhema kama pressure cooker. Aya basi. Preliminaries mbio mbio kakisonga teke

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@Shavin_

4 years

Equity Bank should find something they are good at instead of pretending they understand banking. The market is limitless, try selling tomatoes or vaccinating cows for crying out loud.

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@Shavin_

2 years

Jublii OUT!

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@Shavin_

3 years

Someone went into the studio and yelled "Shaya Impempe" about 10 times, added a beat to it for 6 minutes and had the whole Nairobi clubbing scene on a Nelson choke with whistles. Kuvukiland is just sangoma spells and vibes.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Oh kalikuwa kanaeta sijui nani Swaleh, anyway thats not important. One month in akahamia Sultan Hamud to be sijui close to what. I think it was work. Mimi nikajua thats the end of it. Nikapanga vile napiga marashi narudi soko bila hata kuoga.

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@Shavin_

6 months

There are adults born in the 80s and the 2000s but perverts have their attention on child brides and grooms from the 90s. Preposterous.

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@Shavin_

2 years

@Kemboy254 Just say you don't want to respect women bro

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

5am naamshwa like "Babe huingii job leo?" I'm the hell are you talking about what day is today? It's a Monday (shows me phone) Me: OH SHIIIIT! Mbio mpaka kwa bafu buana nikapiga shower vere fast buana nut isinicost unga.

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@Shavin_

3 years

Sex is such a high input low reward activity for men. The sooner you recognize that, the earlier you'll learn to peg your focus on other things

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@Shavin_

2 years

Ang'owa? Akasema sasa since ako out of town, I'll enjoy it even more coz sasa I'll be doing weekly roadtrips huko since ati napenda ku travel. Mimi nikasema alright, the chemistry good and the sex bomb so why not?

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

6 years

Me when broke: I'll go out when I have money Me with money: I don't think I have the time Me with money & time: I think I'm too old for this shit

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@Shavin_

2 years

Nilikuwa na feel ku explain to everyone that I ebcountred wakora wakanipora kila kitu alafu sasa i was rescued by a good samaritan but nobody wants to talk in the morning plus I still had my work backpack so that story wouldn't fly.

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@Shavin_

25 days

Timeline asleep?

🛸

@mvccido_szn

29 days

september dump ?

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@Shavin_

4 years

Man you can clearly tell she just loves that brotha for existing

John Willow

@JohnathonWillow

4 years

This is literally all I want in life

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@Shavin_

2 years

Mimi nilikuwa nakaa geti kali huko Lavington at the time so hakuna venye angekaribia huko kwa wenyewe haha. So nilikuwa natoka kazi Fridays either tunaenda kutingika with her pals ama naenda kuangusha community kwake. Life was good haha

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@Shavin_

2 years

Aya. Met this kamami at some party my cousin dragged me to. Alikuwa anafanya kazi sijui wapi. Mimi I didn't bother to even find out. Much later, we hit it off. It was a relationship of convenience of sorts haha ni kama were both just bored and wild

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Evening everyone, me again. Dispatch sent rangers and I live to see another day - not as dinner for a lion and his family. Thank you all who have reached out and been helpful with info and contacts. I will personally see to it that I respond to your kindness and goodwill. Ciao

☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

2 years

Can someone give a number that gets to the goddamn KWS rangers?? Nairobi National Park or the HQ. How is there a lion at a picnic site man!!

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@Shavin_

8 months

Getting strange looks out here. Hamjazoea native samurai drip?

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@Shavin_

3 years

Look at the country that takes you through hell for a visa lmaooo

EA 🩷

@HAWAII_fiveoh

3 years

So the mom knew he was going to shoot the school up 🤯

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@Shavin_

4 months

I need you to stop calling that a SHOOTOUT because it's not. Police are massacring unarmed civilians - it's not a fucking gun battle.

Moe

@moneyacademyKE

4 months

Breaking: There is a massive shootout currently underway in Githurai

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@Shavin_

3 months

@KuntaKitten She's who she says she is

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@Shavin_

3 years

The professionals you hire to do anything for you in any setting are first people before they are craftsmen. Treat them as so. If you are providing food for your guests, provide food for the cleaner and the soundsman and the photographer too

Here we go!

@DaviesKinanga

3 years

🤣 🤣 🤣

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@Shavin_

6 years

Her name was originally Zenn Diagram

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@Shavin_

3 months

@MaurineNdindin Break this down for me like I'm Nyamu

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@Shavin_

2 years

Heh! Hio mahali ni mbali buana. That was before SGR. Nilkuwa nafika huko hot and powdery. Anyway, things were just fine. Fast foward to this day nimefika as usual. Nikapata nyumba imekuwa shuffled sijui aje. Anyway, I didn't mind. Cabin ni yake.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

@boboxl @LarrieStacia Lol

☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

6 years

Attendant: Your flight leaves on Tuesday 14th at 00:30 am. Me wondering how I missed the flight yet its only Tuesday 14th 11:00 pm:

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@Shavin_

2 years

Some dudes on a motorbike just made off with my phone at Westlands this evening siku imeharibika tu ivo. That's 100GB+ of personal data someone is going to wipe out for a phone that wont even fetch him 25% its original value naskia tu kutapika

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@Shavin_

2 years

He think he gangster haha

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

Avocados will be hard for 5 days then just snap out of it, ripen in 3 hours and you have 17 minute ago decide how to eat it before it turns to wet clay

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@Shavin_

4 months

He thinks he's Bubbles

Saddam

@Saddam_KE

4 months

They turned bro into a power puff girl 💉💉💉

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@Shavin_

3 years

Do not pile pressure on yourself with all this "saving" talks if you are hardly making enough to get by. And you in your self righteous financial literacy, don't make people feel useless for not having enough to play by your "success" rule book. Osev dau.

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@Shavin_

3 years

You toil to train someone and give them diet plans and suggestions then weekend unaona status zake zimejaa beers and burgers at brunch with fat men

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

7 months

@youloveleona Nichimbe ingine?

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

1 month

Me and the champ going through date day debrief one more time to ensure we have all bases covered

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 years

Which road gets you home from this mad city? 1. Thika Road 2. Kiambu Road 3. Limuru Road 4. Jogoo Road 5. Ngong Road 6. Mombasa Road 7. Langata Roa 8. Valley Road 9. Waiyaki Way 10. Other (specify)

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

4 years

@Dee_kui "Check out my happy vagina on Instagram" is a legendary line

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

3 years

"How have you been" has never gotten anyone laid son and you can see that from your history. Don't do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

5 months

@Eryr_ Hahah that brother's heart is away

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☬ My Heart Is In Rosario ❁

@Shavin_

10 months

Nimefikiwa I see

dennis ombachi OLY

@ombachi13

10 months

Your ugali mayai submissions have been overwhelming the servers can’t keep count 🙏🙏 Here’s another Njaanuary special, kuna omena nime ona mtu ame submit nika isha nguvu 😂😂😂

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