Mother Of Sarcasm @SarcasmMother Twitter profile

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

8 years

America and Britain are having a competition on who can fuck themselves up the most. Britain is in the lead, but America has a Trump card.

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@SarcasmMother

8 years

One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Samsung users are going to be like, “Samsung has had this feature for years”.

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@SarcasmMother

4 years

Depressed people are actually the ones who see the world for what it really is.

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@SarcasmMother

4 years

India banned TikTok but most of Indian movies are just really long TikTok videos.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Seeing how some people wear Masks, now I understand why Condoms fail.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

We are the only generation in human history to fight 3 pandemics together : TikTok, Covid 19 and stupidity.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Police racism in Asia does not exist. They beat you no matter what the colour of your skin is.

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@SarcasmMother

4 years

Your childhood ends the day you realise that sleep is a reward and not a punishment.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Its sad that April 1st is the only day of the year where people actually question validity of the news they read.

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@SarcasmMother

4 years

America has successfully prevented a second wave of coronavirus. By keeping the first one still going..

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@SarcasmMother

4 years

Engineers have two jobs : Figuring out how shit works, and figuring out how to explain it to stupid people.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

The man who invented internet is 81 years old now. If you see him walking down the street, you’ll think he’s just another old dude who doesn’t know how to use internet..

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Life is just a really long story about how you died.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

The man who invented internet is 80 years old now. If you see him walking down the street, you’ll think he’s just another old dude who doesn’t know how to use internet..

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

When a baby is born, the parents hope that it’s normal. When it grows up, the parents hope it becomes something special.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Telling someone Happy New Year on their birthday makes more sense.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

We aren’t against tiktok. We are against a community that sexualises underage girls, promotes dangerous trends, steals music and makes people dumb.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

This generation wanted to change the world but ended up changing their gender and called it pride.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

People are always concerned about the planet we’re leaving for our kids, but nobody cares about what kind of kids we’re leaving for the planet.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Funny thing is you all don’t know who I am. I could be your best friend posting from anonymous account. I might be Elon Musk. Maybe I’m your mom. Clean your room.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Someone has your dream job and seriously hates working everyday.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

You are paid by how hard you are to replace. Not by how hard you work.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Humans spend billions on movies about saving the world but no one spends billions in real life saving the world.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Condoms are made by humans for humans to prevent humans.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Depression is not crying inside a dark room. Depression can be going to work, hanging out with people ... while feeling just empty inside.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Corona virus cases in North Korea live updates : 8:15 : 1 8:16 : 0 9:30 : 1 9:31 : 0 10:00 : 1 10:01 : 0

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Dying is a great way to get people to like you.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Working is basically selling away your lifetime for money.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

Most Men will receive their first flowers at their funeral only.

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@SarcasmMother

3 years

Doctors don't save lives, they delay deaths.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Doctors don't actually save lives, they just delay deaths. So, they are just death snooze buttons.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

For thousands of years Hindus been doing Namaste instead shaking hands, worshipping animals, having veg diet, washing hands and feet before entering home.. They were actually right all along.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Humans spend billions on movies about saving the world but no one spends billions in real life saving the world. Humans are weird.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Yes, breathing with mask is hard. But breathing without lungs is much harder.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Always Remember that you live in a world where Thomas Edison’s Last Breath is still preserved in a test tube. And Nikola Tesla’s lab was burned on March 12, 1895.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Cigarette companies kill their best customers and Condom companies prevent their future customers from even being born.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Porn is just videos of people at their work.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Condoms are made by humans for humans to prevent humans.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Humans are made on beds, born on beds and die on beds.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

As an adult, sometimes not being invited to an event is more exciting than being invited to it.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

You think you’re special until you have to pick a username.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Only famous people get assassinated. Others just get murdered.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

You are paid by how hard you are to replace. Not by how hard you work.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

There is a tree out there growing wood for your coffin/funeral.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

We live in a age where we have to prove to machines that we are not machines.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

A kid who just learnt alphabet must look at keyboard and think adults are idiots.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

School is not hard. Paying attention to something you’re not interested in is.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

School is not hard. Paying attention to something you’re not interested in is.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Music was better when people who weren’t good looking were also allowed to make it.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Celebrities who paid millions of dollars for plastic surgeries are still going to have ugly kids.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

You can’t use drugs to win the olympics, but you can use auto tune to win Grammy.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Funerals are just family reunions minus one person.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

If everything went normal today then you won’t remember this day again in your life ever.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Depression is emotional cancer.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Schools are no longer about learning, but about passing. Because we have made job requirements based on academic achievements but not actual skill.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Internet is just a collection of human thoughts. That’s why there’s so much porn.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

You have only one birthday. The rest are just anniversaries.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

All lives matter. But some lives matter more than others. Clearly, Dogs and elephant lives matter more than goats and chicken.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

A bank will lend you money if you prove that you don’t need it

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

The past tense of fit is fat.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Not all Pakistani people are terrorist guys Some are under training.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

If robots can’t identify stop signs and traffic lights in captcha images then maybe self driving cars are a really bad idea.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Telling a depressed person to be happy is like asking a blind person to wear glasses.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

If you don’t look back in Life and think you were an idiot, then you’re probably still an idiot.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Pollution levels has decreased in many places due to coronavirus outbreak.. Coronavirus has contributed more to climate change than Greta Thunberg.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners to China than it kept out

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Racism is bad. Everyone is equal. Doesn’t matter you are normal or Chinese.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Before social media all this shit just stayed in people’s heads.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Two things which everyone hates : 1. change 2. the way things are.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

How do you donate money to Taliban ? Just pay taxes in the USA.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

April 1st is the only day of the year where people actually question validity of the news they read.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

If you think you look ugly in glasses, it may just be because you can see your face better with them.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

You’ll never see anyone reign longer than Queen Elizabeth ll. It might happen but you’ll never see it.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Humans invented machines to skip some effort and now they exercise and work out to make up for the effort they skipped.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Don’t quit smoking because of someone. People leave you, but cancer stays with you until death.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

7 years

Donald Trump is probably the only Politician who remained same before and after the elections. And the whole world went crazy.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

People think old music is better than new music because old bad songs are never played.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Your body is just an advertisement for your sperm/egg.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Humans are afraid of aliens because we think they will treat us the same way we treat other animals on Earth.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Bad things always happen to good people because when bad things happen to bad people, it’s a good thing.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

You aren’t afraid of being alone in the dark. You are afraid of not being alone in the dark.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

You aren’t afraid of being alone in the dark. You are afraid of not being alone in the dark.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

So Game of Thrones is musical chairs and the guy who wins is the one who was sitting the whole time

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

If Humans go extinct, literally no one will care.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

You may have already passed the happiest point in your life and didn’t even realise it.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Bollywood movies are just 2-3 hour long shitty TikTok videos.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

If Humans go extinct, literally no one will care.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

Schools are no longer about learning, but about passing. Because we have made job requirements based on academic achievements but not actual skill.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Funerals are basically family reunions minus one person.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

8 years

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

Before TikTok, Instagram Reels, people never knew there were so many dumb people out there. Now the dumb people got together and are encouraging each others dumbness to even greater extremes.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

Whenever a dating app works, it loses two of its users.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

You spend your entire childhood being told not to talk to strangers but as an adult its one of the most important things you have to do.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

6 years

There’s no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday. We just have to trust someone who kept the count since first one ever.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

4 years

The key to happiness is to stop watching the news.

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. And she couldn’t do either..

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

5 years

Guys a Pakistani girl offered to blow me Should I be excited or scared ?

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Mother Of Sarcasm

@SarcasmMother

3 years

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. And she couldn’t do either..

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