Stifler @Samzen_ Twitter profile

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Stifler

9 years

you stay single for too long till you forget basic stuff when a girl comes over like, juice should be served cold and not boiled 😒

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Stifler

@Samzen_

4 years

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 months

some things are just worth reminding Kenyans #RutoMustGo

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

Guys. I got into business. We specialize in selling and converting used shipping containers into livable space; for housing or for commercial purposes (stalls/shops). Container Works (K) Ltd DM or call 0727444139 for further enquires Please RT our next client can be on your TL

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 months

This is a terrorist

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

you know this is serious when Martin Luther King comes from dead to oversee a peaceful and fair election #ElectionKe2017 #KenyaDecides

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@Samzen_

3 years

Idi Amin during a football match in Mandela stadium, Uganda in which his team won 79-0. 1972

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

Twitter is a scary place. You might just here minding your own business then you find out through a thread that your now wife whom you have happy family and kids with cheated on you three years ago.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

I remember one of Natalie Tewa vlog where they were asked why their love seem to be so perfect and they said they operate on three things. Love, Super Trust and Respect. 😞

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

Satan was all alone with Eve, NAKED, at the forbidden tree and all he did was to convince her to eat a fruit? GAY.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 months

haha just seen this 👀😂

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 years

street children

BusinessDaily

@BD_Africa

3 years

Nairobi sets aside Sh40m for street children rehabilitation

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 years

Ronoh Chebet was called fat and she embraced it and went to the gym. she looks gorgeous now. believe you me, retaliating being called fat by writing a thread ain’t gonna shed fat

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

However beautiful or ugly you are, someday, somebody will wrap meat with your obituary.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Facebook needs a "Bitch please, this was on twitter like a decade ago" button.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

tuko huku police station na huyu msee uliibia meza

Billy The GOAT

@Crazy_Nairobian

6 years

Mko wapi?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Judge: You shot him. How do you plead? Me: Bleed? NO. He was the one bleeding Judge: HAHA Me: HAHA *High five? Judge: Ten years with no bail

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

I've made a few typos hear and their, but nobody is perfect. Write?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

Uefa had to force Ozil to write an apology letter to the family and friends of Ludogorets defenders and goalkeeper

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

"I am an independent woman. I don't need a boyfriend to give me salon money" starter pack

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

I laugh out so loudly when eating cooked onions. REVENGE.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

why is this so funny?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

Asahd: we.. we.. Dj Khaled: weetabix? Asahd: WE THE BEST

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

FIFA disc is Ksh 6500, your boyfriend's candy crush app is free on playstore.

BEINGVQEESILVER

@vqeesilver

10 years

Fifa is just for broke men too who are looking for the cheapest form of entertainment

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

we not defending Sportpesa for withdrawing. but we’d rather we sure our gambling money ends up sponsoring sports than it ending up in this useless government knowing so well that it’ll finally benefit few, greedy corrupt politicians and do nothing for sports

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Aeroplanes are just cars on weed.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 months

@mwihaki_julz seems like a good mum. tell her about me and you.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

“I got a new suit for this event just to suit your needs. can you follow suit?”

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Stifler

@Samzen_

1 year

You can tell the thickness of the cream here can be used as toothpaste 🥹

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

World War III will happen when Jason Statham kidnaps Liam Neeson's daughter.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 years

I saw Jacob Juma trending because of the youth fund case. This guy though! He was right in so many things!

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Of course Judas was a white guy. After getting dirty cash, a black nigga doesn't kill himself. He crosses the border and goes to Mexico.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

kumbe super trust ilikuwa ni protection tu

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

Beyoncé would just be a Kelly Rowland without Jay Z

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

barber: what do you want fam? "know that big fight tonight? I wanna picture it in my head" barber: say no more http://t.co/CghwE32kV0

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

Always remember; - drink lots of water - use passcode instead of fingerprint - use Safari browser not Chrome - brush teeth b4 you sleep - Casemiro is the best DM in the world - most girls will b attracted to yo personality - Messi has no international trophy - good heath > wealth

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

“Then nikamshow my parents are visiting that morning. Nikamuitishia nduthi at 6am”

BenchwarmerzKE

@BenchwarmerzKE

5 years

CAPTION THIS 😆😆 #BWZLive

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

LOL. Guys, somebody had to come up with this #ObamaInKenya http://t.co/TbPtjBIpqj

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

when the devil is tired he sends a woman with a nose ring

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, set her free again. If she comes again, do the same. The point is, you're a policeman

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Wet dreams are just handjobs from ghosts.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

pretty till she becomes your girlfriend.

Milan KE

@Milan_KE

5 years

These girls must be related? Coz all I see is Four Cousins and I want to take my shot 🍷🍸 😍😍😍

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

Griezmann is petty, foolish man

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

The only manly way of carrying an umbrella is hiding it inside your nostril.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

I survived the polio outbreak, military coup, 1990s drought, Pitbull music. What makes you think I can't survive that unfollow?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

which idiot called it a "queue to pay school fees" instead of "Karoline" 😐

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Stifler

@Samzen_

4 months

a big loss. Sir Alexas will not have his own room in Mike Mondo’s house the way he did in Watamu

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

high time for matatus to have lipa na Mpesa. high time

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

Who said I can't use my car side mirror to shave my beard? I want to fix another mirror under the steering wheel for my pubic

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Reasons to date me: 1. My mum said I was cute when I was born 2. I sleep naked 3. I don't retweet mentions 4. Please

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Stifler

@Samzen_

1 year

Brian Mbunde ™

@Brianmbunde

1 year

Furaha ya Roadtrip ni kujisaidia msituni.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

@Kvaati It can’t fit inside

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

which dance style is this?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

when she telling the squad how her boyfriend is always there for her, but he was at your place all weekend

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 months

getting super rich and wearing casually like this >>>>

Hannah

@queen_meghan14

5 months

I don’t know what Meghan’s doing to her man but he’s glowing

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

haha. Stupidity

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Stifler

@Samzen_

2 years

@LaLigaTV @atletienglish @AlvaroMorata haha look at this goal

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

It’s called being a woman

Portgas D Azula 🔥⚡

@Azulllaa

5 years

What is it called when you dont really love someone but you dont want them to be with anyone else?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

5 years

we realizing that even if you go to the gym together that not a cement for a relationship. aye! you can just eat, grow fat and happy together

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

ukiona msee akitumia simu kwa matatu with an open window

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

And it all started with Eve not knowing how to cook. Just wandering in the gardens looking for fruits. See how we are cursed?

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

Deep down my heart I know I really like her, but deep down my wallet I know it's wrong! :(

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

NORTH WEST? Well played Kim, well played. How else could we know it wasn't Kanye's kid? I know you meant "NOT WEST",but people don't get it.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

I hope there will be China in hell. With fake fire.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

2 years

@nocontextfooty

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

If you don't say, "Previously on... " When resuming to read your novel, you're a cunt.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

those friends who are not really you friends but they pretend to be your friends because of one thing or another at their convenience. note those ones. it’s important.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

3 years

Vinicius Jr 17 games 10 goals 5 assists 1 hit song

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Stifler

@Samzen_

10 years

if you did lose your virginity through another style rather than the missionary position then I don't even know where to put you in hell 😏

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

I don't understand how y'all proud of conning men by taking advantage of the fact that they like you. Pathetic disguised prostitution

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

black parents don't even tell you to get married and have kids. they go indirect like "i saw a guy same age as you die from an accident" 😒

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

We also make other amenities such as ablution blocks, offices, classrooms, storage/archiving units etc Please RT 😊

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

When they say "Lets go get Stoned to death" in Jamaica, you're in for a treat. But in Arabic countries, RUN!

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

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Stifler

@Samzen_

4 years

Dj Mo probably was preaching the word through the video call to the lost sinful woman. humble god fearing man. rebuke online trolls

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Stifler

@Samzen_

12 years

I think we are related to Rick Ross ~ Elephants

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

I always wonder how some people struggle to make a girl happy. women stuff is cheap. With fifty shillings you can get like seven seemless panties and a pair of doll shoes

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Stifler

@Samzen_

2 years

there’s no way this guy has this much power

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

here. the first pic you see Cristiano clearly transferring his powers to Eder. the rest is history

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

@Mapule_xx only the two holes to be drilled to be a perfect face mask

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

@BADCAY im turning 15 too this year. what a journey

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Stifler

@Samzen_

8 years

Matiangi proves that it can only take one person to change a whole system. people still say Uhuru is let down by people around him? think

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

@slyrie he dies

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

Cr7 did conquer English football. went to Messi’s backyard, worn 4 UCLs and 4 Ballon D’ors, scored a record 34 la liga hattricks, two more than Messi in 200 less games than him, become Madrid top scorer, won Portugal first ever major trophy. went to Italy, about to win serie A

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Stifler

@Samzen_

4 years

this series on Netflix. "Cathedral of the sea". If you get past the first 10 minutes, you not gonna stop till you finish the whole season. Damn!

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

which idiot called it "entrance fee" instead of Bill gate? 🚶

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

an original tweet from a church girl verses the same stolen one from a girl who has gone out with bigwigs 🐸🍵

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Stifler

@Samzen_

10 years

Reasons why I prefer the stairs to the elevator 1. Farts 2. Power failure 3. Bad breath 4. Kidnappers 5. Solange 6. SOLANGE

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

we can do this. as friends. don’t complicate things

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

an upright human will not support babu owino nor Moses kuria despite your political affiliations. it’s just common sense

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Stifler

@Samzen_

4 years

lol if you were no looking for attention here you couldn’t have posted it in your family members WhatsApp group instead.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

I hope Ben Githae gets nightmares every night for that song

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Stifler

@Samzen_

7 years

@_PapaulskiBCFC_ @__V_K @BigDaveDrums @mrjohnnymac18 @FootyMemes @jasoncundy05 I SUBMIT MY ENTRY TOO 😍😋

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Stifler

@Samzen_

6 years

people expected Modric to miss the penalty. He wouldn’t. He plays alongside Cristiano. If it were Rakitic taking it then we’d had hope of him missing. If you know you know

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Stifler

@Samzen_

9 years

[a lion watching football sees a defender tackling a striker. The striker falls] Lion: Yes. Yes. That's it. Now eat him.

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Stifler

@Samzen_

11 years

What's the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?

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