Ross Floate @RossFloate Twitter profile

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Ross Floate

3 years

Oh boy. University of Melbourne has digitised the Melway street directory going back to 1966 and you can go full nerd on it here.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

If I told you the Treasurer of Australia plastered a closed bank with the slogan “Stronger Economy Stronger Future” you’d say I was making shit up.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

My wife's business has been listed by antivax wingnuts as being discriminatory against antivax wingnuts. This means no antivax wingnuts will go to her place of business. I am failing to see a downside.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Boris just called Scott “prime minister morris” so this is going a treat.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@bdomenech I feel like you overestimate how much anybody wants you to visit.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

FriendlyJordies put credible (and highly defamatory if false) claims and potential evidence out there about both Dutton and Barilaro. Zero follow-up from established press. They sure followed up Lidia Thorpe though. Weird. Probably nothing in that.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

11 months

Incredible journalism at the ABC, who have blown the fucking doors off the Optus outage through their tenacious interviewing of cafe owners. Electrifying television.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

From what I’m reading, netballers must wear Gina Rinehart’s brand if they take her money but the same policy does not apply to Matt Canavan.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Imagine if drinking out of a leg was the LEAST war-crimey thing you’d done.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Waleed Aly is just John Laws if he drank oat milk.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Lynton Crosby charging $25k a day to tell Scott Morrison he'll win the election if he tells people he'll keep their wages way lower than Albo.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Ben Roberts-Smith and Prince Andrew both thinking “at least now I won’t be the worst person at the Queen’s funeral”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@vanOnselenP This is a bad tweet, Peter. There’s plenty of reasons for anonymity (and you know it). Protecting the hurt feelings of private school mediocrities who floated to the top of the sewer isn’t reason enough to remove this important protection.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 months

Hahahaahahaa

John Delmenico

@thebigjohnnyd

2 months

today in 'columns that should just be a private conversation instead of pretending it's the news'

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

To the people who say Morrison will be awash with board seats, who do you think would want him? I’m genuinely interested.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

The Optus response as reported on the ABC is incredible. “We lost enough of your data for bank accounts to be opened in your name, so you might wanna look out for that if you think that would be a bad thing”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

11 months

A thing that is not at all obscene is how Coles asks you to donate food for 'their' community programs after you have paid full price for it, and they have received full profit.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

7 months

Never seen an article so brutally expose the deep-seated biases of a media organisation before in my entire life. Absolutely epic self-own by the ABC.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Hey, @senbmckenzie , I know the bar for your mob is deep inside the earth's crust but FFS the town of Nyngan has a Huey on a stick on the main drag to commemorate the thousands of people the ADF evacuated in the 1990 Bogan River floods.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@bdomenech You can come over when your “Days since last mass shooting” sign cracks double digits.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Holy shit.

Josh Taylor

@joshgnosis

1 year

AFR just using AI-generated images in regular stories now hey

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 months

Every time I see Kevin Rudd, I imagine that below the waist he's just 100% 1983 Geography teacher. Stubbies shorts, long socks, desert boots, packet of Benson and Hedges supermild in his pocket. He has huge 'go and pick up 50 pieces of rubbish' energy.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

5 months

The person who wrote this is the bravest individual alive and when they are inevitably murdered I will happily donate money towards a statue of them riding a horse that has one leg raised.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 years

Sam Dastyari told you about this two years ago Scott. It's on the record, and you dismissed it.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

10 months

I swear sometimes it's like nobody read Chris Masters' book on Alan Jones.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

I just want to make sure that it's still ok to call Bridget McKenzie "an egregiously corrupt pork-distribution vector who has no business in public life".

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Wracked my brain trying to work out where my passport was, so resigned after a week of looking to apply for a new one. First step, apply for birth certificate. First step of that — scan drivers licence. Open scanner. Find passport

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Why does the LNP want to bring in voter-id laws in a country with compulsory voting (and statistically zero voter fraud)? To grease the wheels to abolish compulsory voting. It's a long-term disenfranchisement play.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Now that Medicare numbers are also implicated in this Optus breach I’m feeling pretty good about my decision not to consent to a My Health Record.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

embrace of the cudgel, then I’ve not seen it. Defamation laws, especially those as vicious as Australia’s, are a weapon used by the powerful to keep the light out of the hidden places. When a journalist embraces those laws, our stomachs should turn.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

This story, in which @FaineJon pretty much says the ABC created the media version of @TimWilsonMP at direction of management, has been playing on my mind all week.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 months

“Hello, Victorian art gallery. I am from Queensland and I used to swim fast. Please remove a painting of a billionaire from Western Australia for your gallery I have never been inside because she billionaires us water-money. I am not a gronk.”

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Feels like Optus should be brutally punished for this data breach. “Whoops” just doesn’t really cut it when a data breach contains passports and drivers licenses.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

HMAS Pfizer, because it’s announced, will cost a fortune, and won’t arrive in our lifetimes.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

In 37 years we went from “Information wants to be free” to “Gifs want to be expensive”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

No offence to the Member for Kooyong but the sentiment “We’re better than that” is only ever deployed in the aftermath of events that prove beyond doubt that we very much are not.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

The other day I was in a queue to get a coffee. One dude unmasked, but kitted out in protective gear for mountain-biking. I said "So, let me get this right you're wearing gloves to protect your hands, but not a mask to protect your lungs?". "Well I use my hands for everything".

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

My kayaking partner @ChuckWoodley just sent me this from Elwood canal, suggesting we hit it this arvo. I'm a bit iffy on it.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

If I were CEO of Basecamp.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

I’m very sorry but David Pocock used the unword “learnings” where “lessons” would have been appropriate so I’m afraid all your votes were wasted.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

There’s a lot of heat around PvO’s recent legal actions and the online “badinage” re boats etc. I’m not a lawyer, so I won’t wade into the legal aspect (which people have covered). What I am qualified to say is that the spectacle of the Foundation Chair of Journalism at UWA/

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

In 1974, I wandered onto the Bruce Highway in Townsville. This bloke slammed on the anchors and stopped me from being a very short-term occurrence. Every time I see him the story is more dramatic but also, this bloke saved my life when I was two. Thanks, Ace.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@BernardKeane "We are all responsible for our own health." Yes, he blamed the dead for dying.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Dutton: “It’s a tough market for us in Victoria”. Market? MARKET? Jeez. Says it all.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 months

While I have a lot of respect for people on the team behind Victoria’s digital driver’s licence, if you think I’m holding an unlocked phone in my hand during an interaction with law enforcement you’re out of your damned mind.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

The Yes campaign team is incredibly good at appealing to the vibe of people who were already going to vote Yes.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

@redblaze1001 @GoodReddit Girlcum Tobias is never gonna recover.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

I have never wanted to see something drive under the @MontagueStBridg this much in my life.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

5 months

Ok but I want to know what meds Scott was on because obviously there’s a huge side effect of being a massive cunt.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Stop what you're doing and look at this photo of my dog 9 years ago today.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

availing themselves of Australia’s draconian defamation laws — laws that journalists themselves cower from because of their capriciousness — is wholly unedifying and shameful to journalism itself. If anyone in the Australian pack has twigged to this weird/

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 months

So the guy who privatised Telstra thinks we should have a state-owned nuclear power generation asset, and the guy who fucked up the NBN rollout thinks the government is great at building capital-intensive infrastructure.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

And the thing is that now the voice in my head that has been saying “Matt Canavan is a character played by Matthew Canavan to fill a wingnut-shaped hole on Afternoon Briefing in order to keep ABC funding from being cut” is screaming at me “see I fucken told you something stinks”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

“Look, we can’t bring a whole plane load of potential witnesses against Ben Roberts-Smith to this country.” — The voice in Dutton’s head.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

The emerging commentariat narrative that “Morrison was the reason the Liberals lost” is subterfuge. It’s being promulgated by powers that want people to think the Liberals are the natural party of government, and that without Morrison, things would be in their natural order.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

“Jack the Ripper is not a serial killer, but he has done quite a few murdery things.”

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

This is some 5-dimensional chess from Morrison because if he sends Djokovic to Christmas Island it would be hard not to vote for him I have to be honest.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

@PatsKarvelas It’s absolutely worth discussing. What often causes rancour is when the press reports on issues in reference mostly to how it affects members of the press.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@noplaceforsheep I think an interesting thing would be to work out when the ADF Ceremonial Manual changed its rules to require saluting the Prime Minister, which was once a very big no-no.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

A modest proposal: Let’s retire “drank the Kool-Aid” and replace it with “ate the horse-paste”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

It’s so utterly scandalous to me that for a day or so I thought I’d dreamed it.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

For many, @DaveMilbo has been the voice saying the things we wanted to say, the things we wanted people to hear, and expressing them like our collective harnessed howl. Thanks, Dave. May you never need to pay for a beer in this town again.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

On a more serious note, you can only spend $368bn on submarines after you’ve spent a generation systematically dismantling the humanities and forced everyone who should have studied history to do economics and business instead.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

The main thing I’m really mad about is that as I am 50 I won’t be alive when the submarines we don’t need don’t arrive in time for the conflict that isn’t coming.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Pretty sure that Stan Grant thinks Stan Grant should have been hosting this show on Stan Grant’s channel.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

The "dud boyfriend" narrative is incredibly infantilising and I cannot believe it is seriously being posited by people who are able to vote, serve on juries, become members of parliament, or handle objects that have ends that are pointy.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 months

When you are a totally normal dude with a reality-based grasp of statistical likelihood of harm and you are absolutely going to raise well-adjusted humans.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

I mean, you have two dudes who just love suing people. LOVE IT. And they haven't sued Shanks for the particular videos and releases of material. There's a story in that ALONE.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

12 days

Amazing that just 3 years into the AUKUS deal we are now closer than ever to not having submarines.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

If you recently turned fifty in Australia, how long did you procrastinate before opening the envelope with your government poop-bag in it?

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

I am a dumb person, but is there anything stopping the State government from creating a new type of property title that prohibited anything other than use by owner-occupiers?

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

10 months

Can someone explain to me as though I am five why vapes are being banned while cigarettes will remain on sale?

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Bridget Archer is like one of those Catholics who says “yeah I wish the Church didn’t keep covering up sexual abuse all the time” and everyone says “oooh brave” as she turns right back around to take communion at St Rockspiders.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

6 months

Everything about this guy makes you think he would have been a Liberal but he got lost on campus and wandered into the wrong meeting during O Week and has been too embarrassed to admit his mistake ever since.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Meanwhile, @Mon4Kooyong has an open door and friendly volunteers on the street. They offered me some information and when I said “I’m sorry but I’m not from this electorate”, they smaller and said “Enjoy the election!”

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 years

@_brittanyv @looks_last There was a John Oliver bit about this exact idea earlier this year and he made the point that nobody in that show went “oh well”. I too, think about this a great deal.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Today's episode of "Leave My Family Out Of This" is one right out of the box.

Helen Perrottet’s three ‘utterly painful’, isolating miscarriages

One of her miscarriages was during budget week while her husband was treasurer. She says grieving women don’t get enough emotional support.

www.theage.com.au

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Annastacia Palaszczuk absolutely putting to bed the idea that National Cabinet has Cabinet Solidarity. She just absolutely rinsed Morrison

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

Gladys tip-toeing around the word “lockdown” like your Aunty Beryl struggling to avoid saying the word “penis”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

5 months

Scott Morrison won’t see your mean mental health tweets, but your friends with mental health struggles will and they’ll be fine with it because they know he’s an awful human.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@helen I have always wondered if it asks what IS your dick like, or what DOES your dick like. Scholars will debate this for years.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

@vanOnselenP And I can say this with the benefit of the experience of being educated at a school that lofted both Greg Hunt and Tim Wilson to parliament.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Frankly, you could replace 90% of what most people require from a pharmacist with a vending machine where you feed in your script and it drops your meds into the chute while a recorded voice drones “Have you had this medication before?”

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

It’s kind of funny that Hurley did inform the public of who built HIS new cabinets.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

“I am a mewling pissbaby”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

7 months

“Imagine our surprise to find that smokers aren’t solely the people we consider to be beneath contempt!”

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 months

Can't get my pants off because Nike bricked my shoelaces and I'm wearing skinny jeans :(

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Thank-you Heidelberg Wheel Alignment, for acknowledging the gravity of this day. 💈 💈🇦🇺 💈

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Don’t feel bad for this teacher. Xavier’s state of the art heated dunk-tank was funded with the multi-million dollar windfall that private schools got from Jobkeeper money they both didn’t need or really technically qualify for.

Josh Frydenberg

@JoshFrydenberg

2 years

Terrific to join the Xavier College family at the Maytime Fair. Plenty of good stalls ahead of Mother’s Day. But a particular highlight was dunking one of the teachers.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Hey @darth how do I get out of bed now?

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 years

What is the best film featuring @russellcrowe ? I’ve just watched Gladiator for the first time in ages and I have a hankering.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

4 months

If I were going to 'please think of the kids', rather than focus on social media I'd probably ban school chaplains.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be Premier for the 23/24 bushfire season either.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

1 year

Everything about the Pharmacy Guild’s argument is crazy-making to me. Imagine eggs were only sold in cartons of 6, 12-egg cartons were proposed, and retailers got on tv and cried because now they’d only get paid for half as many eggs. That’s how dumb this is.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Has anyone checked in on Bevan?

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

This is so preternaturally stupid. When the question is “why should you be re-elected?”, answering “family” makes about as much sense as answering “truck”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

3 years

When the headline tells the whole story.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

@RonniSalt @PatsKarvelas I’m an RMIT Journalism alum and have watched amused over the years as my former classmates have written op eds each time they have become the first person in the world to ever be affected by something.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

Exactly the type of person who, 40 years ago, was saying “fuck the whales”.

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Ross Floate

@RossFloate

2 years

As long as I can remember, governments have been saying we will build high speed rail from Melbourne to Sydney. We can’t lay 1000 km of railroad track in 40 years, but all of a sudden we’re spinning up nuclear reactors in a decade? Sure.

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