Professor of Astronomy and Politics at University College Borehamwood. ‘Britain’s friendliest Professor’ - The Sunday Times. ‘A sensible man’ - Sir Keir Starmer
Back home to the Balls family home soon for Christmas! Yes as you can see, we lived in a modest Pebbledash. My Dad worked in a job, therefore was working class, which makes me working class. As a working class man I know all about pebbledash.
I’m so proud of my uncle, Diepold Balls who held the prestigious title of Stabsfeldwebel during WW2. He stood up for the idea of a united Europe. He would certainly have a thing or two to say to this government! Haha.
#RejoinEU
🇪🇺
@RevRichardColes
James VI of Scotland traveled by land to become King of England in 1603 as a symbolic gesture to unite the two kingdoms and connect with his new English subjects, despite challenging roads.
#History
#JamesVI
#EnglandScotlandUnity
It is an incredible privilege to join the Labour party and assume the name Keir. Many of you are pointing out I previously said that changing my name was a red line. Let me be very clear, to make real change we need to do what is right for the people of Britain. Keir is here.
I have become an approved Community Note®️ writer. This honour bestowed upon me is immense. I vow to take this responsibility seriously and represent the best interests of the community I represent.
This is simply wonderful to see. An enthusiastic boatman taking on the big bad world of Birmingham canals, with a joke or two along the way! Haha. Marvellous.
The ever present Stalinist far left. Not a day goes by when the powerful Stalinist far left will leave us alone. I sometimes shake at night in fear, wondering how the next day will pan out because of the Stalinist far left in this country.
Starmer has played a blinder. By putting the rioters on notice he has shown he is not a force to be messed with. I am really quite impressed. Wow. I really am impressed.
@timfarron
I could not agree more Tim. I’m a liberal like yourself (and a nice man!). I think it’s time we started considering furthering Ukraine’s military capabilities. I believe sending 50-60 nuclear warheads would be a good start.
@johnsweeneyroar
@DrRobertZands
Best stand down on this one, John. Dr Zands is a titan of the Twittersphere and not someone to go up against when it comes to mass debating - he’ll win.
Good morning Tweeters. There’s a new Sheriff in town. Let’s begin Day 2 of of being an approved Community Note®️writer. Did you cite reliable sources? I will be the judge of that.
Oh mama! Tonight on Five, a rerun of Andy
@churnwell
’s Great Scottish Food Tour. 1994 I believe. That’s this evening sorted. Loving the hair Andy! Haha.
@churnwell
It’s popular culture references like this that will open the door to Number 10 for our Keir. I spent four and a half days in the North last year and I can tell you Zingers like this are what will win them over. Blue wall? Laughter makes that wall red 🌹
Today I asked the Prime Minister if he will finally do what’s legally and morally right and end the government’s complicity in Israeli war crimes by banning ALL arms sales —including F-35 fighter jets — to Israel.
He said “no”.
@OvensComedy
Mike expelled over four litres of urine and 3kg of faeces last night whilst having nightmares about Craig. ‘Offended’ doesn’t quite cut it for Mike, he is so upset that his own body is biologically trying to expel this emotion.
We had such fun filming ‘Sensible Debate’ on Sunday. I moderated a talk with Hannah Vincent-Walker of Conservative Home®️ and Klaus Wunderguard of Alternative für Deustchland discussing immigration. It’s great to hear a diverse range of voices.
@TaffGoose
@Orwell_Fan
@PhilipPullman
What great sportsmanship. Simon shows creative vulnerability, and Philip touches his shiny forehead with his wise old hand, whispers some sage words in his ear, then scoodles on his way. I simply love Twitter sometimes.
My new Podcast “Brain vs Brawn” sees me talking with some of Britain’s oafs. We delve into their simple mindsets and ask for their responses to the latest financial analysis of Brexit. You won’t want to miss this!
@thatbloodyMikey
I’ve not given up. All we need to do is grasp at Starmer’s left-wing instinct. He’s a lovely, caring man at heart, we just have to find a way to get through to him.
Think this gets Starmer spot on: 'He is someone with a left-wing instinct. But he is also a pragmatist and deeply realistic. And this leads him again and again to temper his initial view.'
My name is Professor David Balls, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
@Women4Wes
Good Lord! I really don’t think Sir Keir would like that one bit, however let us not judge too early as that may be a source of pleasure for him.
@StreathamRovers
Don’t despair - the optics are actually positive. The South London Press headline of ‘Streatham Rovers Poppy so big it crushes stand’ compared with ‘Dynamo Catford FC Gaffer forgets Poppy’? I’d rather have a poppy that crushes a stand and a few civilians than no poppy at all.
@_georgina666
Hi Georgina, I’m a Professor of Astronomy. Ceres is a dwarf planet in the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter. It was the first asteroid discovered, on 1 January 1801, by Giuseppe Piazzi at Palermo Astronomical Observatory in Sicily.
@churnwell
Lots of people not understanding that Andy is an award-winning broadcaster here. Quite how some people are questioning if he is a “parody” account is beyond belief. How the hell have you drawn this conclusion?
@archer_rs
They give credence to the notion voting should require an IQ test. It’s all really scandalous looking back at it. The lies that were told for something so drastic, not like it was just a general election, and almost traded off as being less important.
@johnsweeneyroar
@DrRobertZands
@Baddiel
Thanks for clarifying John. This is great discourse and I’m delighted to see how two verified Blue-Tick celebrities can come together and work things out. Simon the Seagull® would be delighted.
Keir Starmer is being coerced into creating right-wing policies by outside forces, we just have to find a way to get through to his left-wing instinct.
Think this gets Starmer spot on: 'He is someone with a left-wing instinct. But he is also a pragmatist and deeply realistic. And this leads him again and again to temper his initial view.'
Football. What a wonderful sport. I’ll be providing expert Punditry throughout the Euros®️, so you can be kept well informed of the latest developments. Kick on!
There’s not many days that go by when I don’t think of my friend Peter Marsh. He was such an incredible human being. We’ll always remember you, my dear Peter.
@mrjamesob
People call me ‘a tedious liberal’ who has ‘falsely predicted the resignation of Boris approximately 300 times and continues to be shocked by his lack of morality, despite it’s absence in the first place’. Do you know what I say? Today, I believe, BORIS IS TOAST!
I would like to pay tribute to my friend and colleague Professor Kelvin Knox
@2012Studies
. His support of the 2012 Olympic project and the need to Rejoin the EU is unwavering. Despite so many setbacks and horrid abuse online, his conviction remains as strong today as it ever was.
@BazakeMedia
@UC_Borehamwood
Professor Fenton is one of the finest minds at the University (behind myself and Prof. Knox). His political analysis is highly regarding by both The Spectator and The Times. Also, he’s a bloody riot in the Public house on a Friday evening! Haha.
@StreathamRovers
@FIFAcom
A touch of class, as per usual from the SRFC ownership. I really am
#proud
of this club. I hope you get a chance to read my email on conserving the troughs in the gents toilets rather than moving to individual urinals. The sense of community and togetherness is at stake here.
@eddiemarsan
Exactly. It's not rocket science. If labour want to win elections, if they want to govern & really help people, they have to move to the centre.
Let me say this - I think Keir Starmer has had a good series of riots. He’s been cool, calm and collected, whilst at the same time stern and serious about ending this thuggery. I’m impressed.
James O'Brien has just delivered one of the knockout blows of the century.
Nigel Farage was leaving the LBC studios after his phone-in with Nick Ferrari when he did this 👇
Some news for everyone - radio host Ted Tritton has been incarcerated in Twitter prison for abusing a fascist. Ted, although a man of the right, became so angry with someone that he rather unfortunately used some foul language. The thread is below. Ted has been denied bail.
@RevRichardColes
Traveling by land in 1603 did have its risks, such as challenging roads and potential encounters with hostile individuals or groups. However, it was a calculated choice for James VI to solidify his rule and show unity with his new English subjects. A braver man that me! Haha.
Today I’m launching ‘The Professor David Balls Campaign To Stop Wankdog’. TPDBCTSWD will focus it’s efforts on raising awareness of the damage done by
#Wankdog
on Generation Z, the abuse of amazing satirist Tompkins and the dangerous aspirations of Wankdog. Join
#TPDBCTSWD
today.
Thanks Eddie. It didn’t go down very well yesterday though when I kept all my non-white students behind in the lecture theatre and interrogated them one by one on their backgrounds. For some reason there is complaints filed?!? I was just curious!!
I think what I’m saying is, that I hope the latest incident at Buckingham palace doesn’t stop us talking about the fascinating family histories inherent in our wonderfully diverse country. Because it’s all our history now, and we mustn’t be afraid to celebrate it & learn from it
Yes, this weekend I got stuck in the
@StreathamRovers
turnstile, again. This is supposed to be one of the modern ones! Good grief. I laughed it off on this occasion but can the club please make a wider entry for us larger folk?
@HenryLPalmetto
@jonsopel
The lacuna holds a space unknown to even the best political theorists. I believe many of Generation Z may hold this space, however academics like myself are currently unable to communicate with them. I don’t listen to drill.
Delighted to announce Wes Streeting has joined The Professor David Balls Campaign To Stop Wankdog. “I recognise the danger Wankdog imposes on our young people. We need sensible politicians as role models at this time. Therefore I am calling for Wankdog to be put down.”
#TPDBCTSWD
@BazakeMedia
This is absolutely horrific. The people on this thread who are saying the Queen would find this difficult and demeaning - oh please! She was a keen sportswoman until she died. She loved to ride horses, play cricket, and ‘do archery’ on underperforming staff. She was still supple!
@SoVeryBritish
Haha, yes! Us British would have tea during a nuclear war. “I’ll just boil the kettle”, my wife would say, seconds before we are incinerated. Wonderful.
@ProfDavidBalls
@thatbloodyMikey
Oh dear, you may be an high level academic, but you know little of current politics, or indeed, judgement of character...
The Keir Balls plan for your high street:
✅Getting youths to help the elderly across the road
✅Change stuff
✅Repaint old signs
✅Protect EU flags erected in gardens (at any cost)
NEW: Labour’s plan will breathe new life into our high streets:
✅13,000 more neighbourhood police and PCSO’s
✅Guaranteed face-to-face banking in every community
✅Replace business rates
✅Stamp out late payments
✅Revamp empty shops, pubs, and community spaces
@MarinaHyde
A lot of nasty comments here. Leave Marina Elizabeth Catherine Dudley-Williams Hyde alone, just because she hails from the Gentry of the Dudley-Williams Baronetcy does NOT mean she cannot write about Brooklyn Beckham’s privilege.