Pondbear @Pondbear522 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

It's 1992 and you're about to eat some FIRE ass hamburger helper...

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 years

Anyone who answered 8 9 or 10 I think we should just fly them to the sun where they belong

Yashar Ali 🐘

@yashar

5 years

5 or 6 are correct

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

Jeep people- Have you considered NOT having 387 ducks on your dash?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Joined a cult today

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Young guy at work . 20 years old. Died last night in a single car accident. His mom had to call me to tell me he's not coming in to work. If you're the praying type please pray for him and his family. It's devastating.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

@EnneaGr8 What's the problem I think the kid looks badass. buy them a AR-15 and maybe a pistol to shoot back.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Turned 35 today. Haven't had a BLTTMC sandwich in about a year and it's all I wanted

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Men: "real men don't watch soap operas" Men: "you see there was this Texas rancher named JD and his wife was a nurse..."

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

The really wild thing to me is everyone born in the 70s is now over 60 years old.

Linda

@turtledumplin

6 months

I can’t believe 1980 was 20 years ago. Feels like yesterday.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

10 months

Fuckin mice could not have chewed these any closer to the clip

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

My dad always used to make us sausage , biscuits and gravy the Friday night before deer/ duck season. My 2yo even "helped" me cook it Good luck to everyone going out tomorrow!

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

10 months

Merry Christmas from the Pondbears.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

No PPE, late, sloppy work, foul language and I think the little one was slurring her words. You're cute but you're fired.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

4 months

I had to go look at a job and these goobers insisted on going with me. Then they all screamed for ice cream and a park 🙄

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

@Lead_Flinger Might just be me but that bear looks fake as hell. Also I'd have shot the bear and shit myself about 4 different times

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Serious question. why do you not see more Cat equipment for farming?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

When it's 8PM on January 59th and you just heard the toy box dump out that you just picked up 🙃

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Happy Halloween. We froze our asses off but had fun doing it

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

It's not pretty. It's never pretty. But I'm not afraid to make a 4lb "BLT". Made this last night. I ❤️ 🍅 season

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

@Parkerlawyer @funderlaw said leave the house at 5 am didn't he. Either that or he's already driving there now.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

I don't know what the Ultimate Callout Challenge is but there's a shitload of trucks with rims and fender lights in my town and something called a "diesel mafia" ...100s of trucks that look like this

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 years

@recentpoker @TheJordanRachel

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

7 months

"HI GOOSE!" My 1.5yo daughter just wanted to chase "geese" all day at the beach 😂

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

America 🇺🇲 Fuck yea Freedom is the only way yeah

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

Don't be afraid to salt and pepper your watermelon folks

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

A picture worth 1000 cuss words here is also worth $300 at the tire store

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

My 3yo kept telling me to "catch a bubble" during the book she was "reading" Me: huh? 3: Miss Teacher tells me when I'm talking, to "catch a bubble"... so can you catch a bubble?? A really big one. So I learned "Catch a bubble" is toddler speak for STFU 🤣☠️

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

My neighbor might have best House remodeler in the biz. The guy she was with for 15 years moved out a few weeks back, and then this contractor really got to work. 11PM? He's there working. 4AM? He's there working. Weekends? He's there working. I really admire his dedication

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

7 months

I'm in the total eclipse zone and they just closed my kids daycare for it. Schools, businesses, everyone's closing. Let me tell you how many fucks I have to give about an eclipse. Mitsubishi, gum, or any other kind

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Graduated to a new classroom where she gets to bring a "packpack" 🤣

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Happy mother's day to our hero and super mom @Mama_Hamm

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

I just almost finished like 2 projects my wifes been asking me to do for 7 years and now the world's gonna end?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

Me. This is me tonight. and every other night from now til April

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Found this cool new book @ragweed2020

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

Every single pair of my shorts shrunk over the winter. That's the only explanation here

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Ok buckaroos let's see what all the hype is about

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Indiana State Fair day. "We" got covered in ice cream from minute 1, took off our pants off and refused to put them back on😐 Side note: look at that beautiful Indiana prize winning rhubarb

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

I gotta give a best man speech Saturday. Please give me your marriage advice or jokes. Funny, sappy, or inappropriate. anything goes here

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

4 months

All American summer girls 🇺🇲 Creek stomping with the dogs ✅ Slushies from the frosty freeze ✅ Pool in the yard. ✅ Night time movies in the AC ✅

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Try this again. #Beer and bonfire tonight

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Barefoot sundress razzie picking at Grandpa's on this beautiful Sunday.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

#beerfest with the wife today. My Christmas morning.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

I know you crazy bastards who work outside and wear jeans every day.... aren't wearing jeans today. I refuse to believe it. #wearshorts

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Wow this AI stuff is wild. I just typed in "make me look like the most beautiful person in history" and it made this

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

12 days

I just went into the grocery to pick up a few essentials, like tortilla chips... 4 items....$57! A man can barely afford to feed his family in this economy 😭😭😭

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Got to catch fish with my daughter and nephews over the weekend. One of those weekends I'll remember forever. 0 people fell in. 0 people got hooks in them. Caught lots of fish. Played with lots of worms.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

These bastards will wash 6 loads of laundry at once. Why are they not available in stores

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

We ain't letting the fall people win. Enjoy summer. Embrace the 90° heat and the frostiest mugs full of summer beer.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

It's 12:14 am Sunday night/ Monday morning. Both my dogs just got sprayed by a skunk How's your day going ?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

10 months

Ope. Found the soft spot 😖

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

Ladies and gentlemen we have a problem. 😑

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Update 4:22 pm. -Food tastes like skunk -Water tastes like skunk --My boots smell slightly better than normal? -Air smells like skunk Kid got sent home sick from daycare and can't go back tomorrow. 🥴

Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

1:49 AM You really don't get the traditional skunk smell until you get a few hundred yards away from ground 0. Everything, including inside my house, smells like burnt lasagna

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

@hockeyphreak @jemelehill Nailed it. The most marketable players in the NBA have all been white. Can't wait to go out and shoot layups in my AirKerrs.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Not sure how the bulbs on those lights haven't burnt out 😆 I checked the engine and made sure it was still there 👍

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

I feel like we're not talking about the elephant in the room. what the hell is in Mr Clean Magic Eraser that makes it work so well?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

9 months

Not sure why people waste thousands on window blinds when a blanket or towel works just as good

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

9 months

Update Dry-ish #January is going ok-ish 🚂

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 month

gonna get drunk and tweet tonight. the way our founding fathers intended 🥳

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

My one true love and my wife in the same picture #beer

Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

Beer and boilers

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Oatmeal raisin cookies are delicious. You just need to know ahead of time it's not a chocolate chip cookie

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

America is the greatest idea ever conceived by man. The people who fought and sacrificed everything to make it a reality are some of the greatest, most heroic humans who ever lived. 🇺🇲

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

4 months

Cheers from somewhere over Lake Michigan

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 month

Wore my new non-work shorts to work and got them the most greasy and diesely and now I'm scared to go home.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Men... Mother's Day is coming up on Monday. Still need gift ideas? There are *literally* public pools that throw out empty chemical buckets. I scored these today out of the dumpster

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

Found some sheets of *mostly undamaged* sheetrock and a 4ft piece of all thread in a dumpster today

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

If you're working at my house past 5pm you're getting offered a beer and whatever I'm cooking.

Mike Lake (Pool Guy Mike)

@lagoesminombre

5 months

Your pool guy is at your place at 7:30PM replacing your filter. You’re grilling burgers. Do you offer the pool guy a burger or is that considered tip culture?

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

The monster mash is the dumbest fuckin song of all time* *Tied with any Beatles song No I'm not fun at parties

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

This man is my brother /soul mate.

Bob Winkelman

@manhattanmaker

6 months

I didn’t know @Pondbear522 was back in the dating scene.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Good morning. Strawberry frosted and sprinkle donuts to start the weekend off right

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

7 months

The biggest thing millennials have ruined is soap. There's nothing wrong with bars of soap. Body wash is over priced.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

@pnshdvermonster I got 2. 3&1 yo. Each stage comes with different sets of fears and joys. You conquer the old ones and life gives you some new ones. It's a fuckin emotional rollercoaster. Congrats to you and the Mrs!

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

You guys know it's national chili dog day??

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

6 months

OJ Simpson is dead. We finally got justice for him killing his wife Nicole

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

Fish Frys and sunsets

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Daddy are we poor? NO! WE GOT RHUBARB! #pie #pietwitter #rhubarb

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

I found $40 in the lake yesterday and then my daughter threw $20 and my phone back in the lake. RIP to my phone and my kid. Howd your weekend go

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

5 months

Me: good night little girl 3yo: I'm a princess Me: Ok good night princess 3: YOUR MAJESTY 😐 Where and when the hell did she learn that

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

8 months

Holy shit

R A W S A L E R T S

@rawsalerts

8 months

🚨 #BREAKING : Dramatic Rescue Efforts can be seen as Semi-Truck Dangles Off the Bridge Connecting Kentucky and Indiana 📌 #Louisville | #Kentucky Currently, a large Sysco semi-truck dangles off the Clark Memorial Bridge between southern Indiana and Louisville, Kentucky, following

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

There's a cole slaw festival at a hardware store in Indianapolis and you can bet your sweet ass im going. God Bless America #slawfest #cabbage #betterthanmacncheese

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

1 year

What's worse than your finger going thru the paper when you're wiping your ass? ...your finger going thru the paper wiping someone else's ass 😭 Dad life is a blast

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

9 days

How much money have other countries sent us to help North Carolina

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

4 months

Picked a nice cool day to blow straw 😐

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

@bhdonkey1 Takes a lot of courage to speak about this I know. I hope you change some hearts. My 75 year old neighbor committed suicide last month the same way you talked about and your family really pays the price even at 75 y.o.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

It's officially eviction day for daughter #2 . Prolly live tweet the whole thing. So far they brought me a water and I'm pretty pumped to check out the food court. Lemme know if y'all want some pics / videos of the carnage @Mama_Hamm

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

My daughter loves playing with her new bath letters! She coincidentally visited a dairy farm today and said she learned a lot 🤔

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

I like the daylight savings time switches. Egg nog is delicious. Miracle whip, dukes, and Hellman's are all good.

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Wife got a babysitter for our tiny emotional terrorists and it's time for..... #BIER !

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

I can still see everyones Likes and I've got to say, I'm very disappointed in some of you 😕

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

The guy down the street sold his house, so I owe more taxes? Fuck property taxes the most

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

11 months

I fuckin love pumpkin pie

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

4 months

Fuck you the most, OSHA

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Me: solo dad at the park with my kids for 14 minutes Boomer grandmas:

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

24 days

Open bar but don't wanna parent with a hangover tomorrow

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

10 months

These are the exact same thing. Just different shapes

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 years

Im staying at the in laws tonight. Been some serious concerns over how the time change works Gonna set the clocks around the house to random times and watch the mayhem unfold

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

2 months

Me: My 3yo: "...eating cat litter makes my throat hurt" 😐😐😐

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

3 months

@manhattanmaker I don't have time to selectively hate people, so I paint with a broad brush. I categorically hate all Jims/ James from Wisconsin

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Pondbear

@Pondbear522

10 months

Gonna get drunk and tweet until the wee hours. the way God intended us to use this website

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