Don’t talk to me unless I’ve had my 13 hours of sleep, 20mg Prozac, 5mg adderall, large cold brew, and have taken two naps! It’s a 20 minute window each day. Good luck!
i tried to get back with my emotionally and physically abusive ex boyfriend too! begged him actually! because he had isolated me from my friends, family, whittled away my self esteem, made me believe he was all i had, and then left. But cool article TMZ!
Went to a small house warming tonight and showed up w one Diet Coke just for myself. Then ppl kept asking where the diet cokes were. Had to keep saying “no i stopped on the way to get one but only for myself.” Good first impression!
In an act of self-love, today i will be changing my Hulu password so the 30 men I’ve dated in the last who still use my account will now be blocked out of it
Thinking about the time i dated a guy for 4 months, he took me on vacations, house hunting, & we met each others families, but he wouldn’t call me his gf so i ended things, we didn’t speak for 3 years, then randomly one day he Venmo’ed me one dollar
i adopted a one year old boy terrier named Ash frm the euthanasia list. So far he is very quiet, and just sits on my lap. He doesn’t know how to play or walk on a leash. I feel an affinity with that dichotomy a lot. Can’t wait to learn together. My Lil guy
Someone just told me you fall in love 3 times in your life:
1) your first love
2) the same person, over and over and over (your karmic lesson)
3) someone different, challenging, surprising, and right
I feel like this is interesting and true! K bye
🚨plz do not confuse gwenyths “diet” with wellness. only having bone broth and some veggies all day and working out an hour and doing sauna is disordered eating. Not health and wellness. Enjoy life & nourish and celebrate ur body. Give it treats sometimes. Thanks!🚨
Actually i just think porn has created an extensive divide between romance and sex- and men are no longer able to sexualize women they actually have feelings for bc they conflate sex w degradation - and so now couples are just partnerships and that’s why polyamory and open …
On an individual level, of course it’s fine for a happy couple to not have sex. But on a macro level, the rise of sexlessness mirrors the rise of loneliness, friendlessness and overall more time spent alone and sad. These things don’t exist in a vacuum. For that reason, I think
After a breakup i took myself to Maui and i booked a horseback riding trip but didn’t realize it was a sunset couples group ride so it was me alone and 5 couples riding together at dusk. Huge moment for me.
Was just ROASTED by a stranger in the coffee shop whose dog was afraid of me. I’m wearing a long white dress and she was like “sorry, i think he thinks you’re a ghost or the vet.” Touché
someone just announced their engagement and my mom read about it and texted me saying "that girl teased you in elementary school for being blind in one eye and I will NEVER forgive her" and i appreciate my mom holding a resentment against one of my peers for the past 20 yrs
Wild story incoming. Last month, we had to cancel our Boston trip after I was hospitallized. As a result I had to use travel insurance to get my money back on our hotel, train, and restaurant reservations. Today I got this message from
@tableboston
Once a guy was driving away from Starbucks with his coffee on the roof of his car so i waved at him and he rolled down his window and said “i have a girlfriend!” and as he drove off with his window open coffee spilled down into it. Pure bliss.
Comedians did NOT sign up to be your hero. They signed up to date me, quickly move into my apartment, and air bnb their own so that they could make some money while they aren't getting writing jobs.
I just wrote “former blue check” in my bio and then a blue check appeared next to my name. I deleted it bc it weirded me out but… coding error? Will someone else try this