Occasionally Messy @Miz_Soraya Twitter profile

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Occasionally Messy

@Miz_Soraya

4 years

My threads, useful links, and other ADHD stuff.. ⚡️ “Adulting With ADHD” by @Miz_Soraya

Adulting With ADHD

The musings of a recently diagnosed 30 - something...

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Occasionally Messy

@Miz_Soraya

2 years

I am ON THE FLOOR 🤣 🤣 🤣 My intern came in and said she had to leave because she had an important meeting. I said OK. Just bumped into her at Yaya with her boyfriend 💀

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I went to say bye to our night watchman who has really seen me through the worst of my drinking, and he said I've changed so much and he's proud of me.. Honestly, I'm crying 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

The way he knew to step away after she made eye-contact is training you only receive in an African household 💀

Avitas

@dumashni

3 years

Biggest entertainer in the 254 tbh. None of your faves comes close

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

It's been one year since I made the decision that changed my life completely. Happy Sober Anniversary to me! 🥳

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Sometimes I think about that time Sho Madjozi tweeted about being in a club and Huku played so she told shorty next to her "this is my song" and bebz was like "OMG, me too!" 💀💀💀

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

6 months sober today! 🥳 #gratefulAF

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

No one: Skinny niggas:

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@Miz_Soraya

2 years

One thing about Kenyans, we will meme!

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Niliambiwa "come work from my house", and now I'm showing up to the Zoom like

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Gen Z will finish me 😅😅😅 PS: not my usual intern, but this lil nigga.. 💀

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

The radio babes with ethnic names, but 90210 accents..

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

The Census guys went while my bro was home alone and this useless nigga had to call all of us for our dates of birth like he has another family out there to think about.. 💀

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@Miz_Soraya

2 years

The Christian-ness of this all really doesn't sit well with me.

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Delicious Mother hushinda akikula Ls huko kwa Obare.. 💀

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Event tweet cycle: - OMG, I can't wait, what will I wear? - Touchdown Artist X 😍 - Geng Geng, Insta videos etc etc.. - That was the worst concert ever! Organization, security, location.. I'm never going back! - I lost my phone guys.. 😭 *A few weeks later* - OMG, I can't...

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I'm beyond grateful for 500 days of sobriety 😊 Onwards! 🧡✨

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Anyway, when y'all are ready to talk about the fact that Kenya has a serious functional alcoholic problem, and how most people have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, let me know..

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Some of my friends don't treat me the same because I'm not as (professionally and romantically) "successful" as they are.. Imagine I'm trying.. Promise.

Shosho Light

@carolinespencer

6 years

Nini inasumbua roho yako

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Why is this such a bop? 😅

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

I really kept it together watching the Jane Mugo documentary until they started whipping niggas in the lunch line.. I. AM. UNABLE. 💀💀💀

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

I'm so tired of politicians latching onto people's trauma for a quick photo-op, and some fake deep quotes that they couldn't even bother to spellcheck.

Esther Muthoni Passaris

@EstherPassaris

4 years

Thank you Jackline, Faustin for a warm welcome today. Although the circumstances surrounding birth of your daughter we unfortunate, I celebrate the miracle of birth and everyone who stepped in to save the life of your baby. @fnoluga @NMS_Kenya @StateHouseKenya

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

I have never blocked so many people in my life 😅

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Falsely accusing someone of abuse, using Mental Health as a scapegoat, and intoxication to escape accountability. I don't even - Shorty has singlehandedly taken us several steps back.

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

No No Novida is the female version of a Tusker

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

The funniest thing about that tweet is that it's coming from someone whose entire job / life revolves around being desirable to men.. 💀

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

This app! 😅😅😅

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@Miz_Soraya

9 months

the first ugly pancake is a snack to give you energy to make the rest of the pancakes I don't make the rules.. 🤷🏾‍♀️

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

CEO of wearing sneakers to everything ✨

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

This picture was taken in rehab.. Happy, and care-free, and ready to take on the world! Get the help you need, it's not as scary as you think. 💜 By @_mkariuki

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@Miz_Soraya

2 years

Hot shower + clean PJs + fresh sheets is a combo that stays hitting 😊

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

"It's because sponsors pulled their ads.." Yes, and they did so BECAUSE of the pressure that we applied on here. It's called a ripple-effect; Google it.

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

9 months sober, one day at a time 😊🧡

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I laughed until I remembered my introduction to character development was by a homie called Onesmus 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Delete this before Nyama Mama sees 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Here's a list of Female Psychiatrists in Nairobi: Dr. Sylvia Kemunto Dr. Mucheru-Wangombe Dr. Catherine Syengo Dr. Margaret Makanyengo Dr. Stella Mwangi Dr. Gloria Sane This tweet is not an endorsement, always do your homework before choosing a Mental Health professional 🤍

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

You can't be pushing half a century and still be this obtuse, honestly pick a struggle..

Aleckie Ronald

@SirAlexas

3 years

Ban that girl from the rest of grand slams

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Funny story - I found out my Dad had a girlfriend and that I had a half-brother from a mchongoano game gone wrong when I was about 9. Kids be ruthless.. 💀

Kellie

@RookieKE

5 years

How old were you when you found out that your father has/had other children? 😅

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

About 31 years ago, two people had sex and now I have to go to work on Saturdays.. Happy birthday to me! 😊🥳🎉

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I have become that person that buys random cleaning products for the free bucket.. 😅

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Pastor: ..the level of love and commitment that Joseph and Mary had.. My brain: MARY, WHO BREED YUH???

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Just found out Louis Vuitton used to send Snooki Gucci bags to wear on Jersey Shore so the brand would look tacky, and I just want the masterclass on that level of petty..

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Fellow Kenyans, let me introduce you to the 5 Second Rule for Social Interactions: if there is something that the other person can't immediately change in 5 seconds, don't talk about it. So physical stuff like weight, skin, teeth.. Did I mention weight??

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Made my first 3digit cheque as a freelancer. Yes. 👌🏾

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

This so much 🧡✨

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Contract - Signed. New job loading.. 💃🏾

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

People saying "aki, he has two daughters.." Yes, and he still had two daughters when he left the house this morning, got on a national radio station, and chose to blame the victim of a violent, unwarranted attack..

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Also, I'm really fucking proud that I walked past some of my favourite bars and liquor shops with a pocket full of cash, and it's like they didn't exist 😊 I couldn't have done that a few months ago. Onwards..💛

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Because I talk about #sober life pretty openly, and I'm cool with people approaching me about it, one question I get often is "how did you know you were an alcoholic?" So I'm gonna answer that.. 🧵

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

I think one of the worst things you can do is fall in love with someone's potential - you will forever be waiting for them to turn into this magical creature from your imagination, and it ends up being hella disappointing for everyone involved..

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

This is my fave 😅 @nashohmy pls 🤣🤣🤣

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Healing is not fun. Especially when you think you're getting the hang of it, and something triggers you, and then you have to roll your sleeves up and work on yet another thing.. It's the hardest and most rewarding thing I'll ever do ✨

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Mans just told him how to do his job..

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

6 years

14 Riverside attack survivor narrates horrific ordeal with terrorists

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Felt cute. That's it. 💜

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Someone cut off my Uber driver almost causing an accident, and I was full on expecting the man to get [justifiably] upset, but he didn't. As we drove on, he mentioned how it's such a stressful time for everyone, so we just need to extend more grace. I needed that reminder ✨

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Why did my hungry ass think this was a chicken breast in the woods? 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

I've been sober for 216 days and counting 🤗

Jason Nomoa

@1992sFinest

4 years

It’s been an awful year but what’s your biggest flex of 2020?

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

They didn't. They just repackaged their trauma and handed it to us.

Jaji Mkuu

@CraigKitiliCj

4 years

I wonder how our folks kept it all together.

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Gen Z-ers will never know the struggle of digging through SHOUT magazine piles at Uchumi Sarit to find the ones where people hadn't already stolen the free lipglosses.. 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Kenya has a real domestic violence / femicide problem but every time we try to tell you guys, you're all up in our mentions calling us mentally ill feminists and wishing death on Women..

NTV News

@NTVnewsroom

6 years

Cop kills wife: Soy police station based officer shoots wife seven times. The deceased allegedly took too long to open the door for the constable. #NTVWeekendEdition

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

It's the way the Girlies have refused to back down today for me! It's the hard-hitting facts and the research for me!! It's the refusal to settle for me!!!

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I find cleaning so satisfying [when I actually want to do it, lol..]

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I'm actually speechless..

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Honestly, one of Wanjohi's biggest red flags is that he went to S*int M*ry's..

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Just remembered that one time a 5-foot-nothing babe came to me as a woman. Had to get down to her level gentle parenting style.. 😅😅

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Men: are responsible for a patriarchial society where they have positioned themselves as the providers. Also Men: *crying* I can't believe she doesn't want to be with me because I can't afford to provide for her, how dare she be honest enough to tell me that? Y'all.......

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I mean, congratulations and everything, but this honestly makes me so sad. No child needs to be clocking 20-hour days..

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

3 years

Robinson Simiyu: I used to push myself to the maximum, especially last year. I was waking up before the rest, at about 3 am, sleeping at 11:30 pm #MondayReport

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Nobody: Kuku pale Sanford:

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Was venting to my Mumma on my long way home from town, into the mat, all the way to Westi and to the house.. Met a food delivery guy at the gate and made the usual joke "ni yangu?" Turns out it was. She ordered and paid for me.. She's in Naivasha.. 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Errrbody in the mat pissed because I told a preacher to bounce.. Constituon or nah? You'll be OK..

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Men understand consent. They absolutely do. But they would rather prioritize their pleasure, exert control, and act out of entitlement than consider the human they are about to damage forever. Men understand consent. They understand consequences. They just choose not to care.

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Caring for a terminally ill loved one is extremely complicated, because even when death is the next logical step, and you brace yourself for it, I don't think you're ever truly prepared. We weren't ready.. 💔

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

The subtitles 😅😅

Sukari Nguru

@missnguru

5 years

Trap Queen Wanjiku aliset pace last year! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Sending love and hugs to everyone on the TL going through a loss right now. Poleni sana 🧡✨

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Malindi is so good to me.. 💛

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I really shouldn't have watched that video..

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Mum: comes into my room Me: starts apologising for the million things I forgot to do Her: *hug* I could tell your anxiety was bad yesterday, its OK.. Just came to check on you.. This woman is everything ❤️❤️❤️

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

My Mum was an OG Hot Girl for sure 😍😍

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Not my boss buying us ugali and fish for lunch and then expecting me to be functional after. Like, goodnight, my nigga..

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

When we were kids, my brother convinced me to jump off our (single storey) roof wearing this on my back like a parachute 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Had a team lunch with my colleagues today, and we took turns affirming each other and talking about our strengths. My boss recorded us, and sent us the voice notes to listen to as a reminder on those days when things get tough. I genuinely love it here..

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Can we just agree that in 2019, y'all are gonna learn the difference between: - You're & Your - There, They're & Their - Fan & Fun - Seize & Cease You get where I'm going with this... Honorable mention - there's no such thing as "my stuffs..." It's just. Stuff.

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I played make up muse for a friend today, my brows have never looked this good, aki.. 😊

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Me after tasting a relationship..

Mofeoluwa is listening to ALUBARIKA🦍

@drutherzboy

5 years

Bomboclaat!

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Well well, if it isn't the Pixel Patriarch, Aspect Ratio Aristocrat, Resolution Ruler.. 🙄

Mutinda

@brianmutinda_

4 years

Why is Quickmart still jazaing their shelves with 32" TVs like we are in 2011?

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Caught some yummy sun today.. ✨

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

This is how God delivered 2020

Miss.Kwe

@rubykwe

4 years

This is how @baoboxcafe delivered my pizza, imagine opening the box and seeing this 🤦🏽‍♀️

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

I -

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Sober Christmas is really hard when your family is half the reason you drank anyway.. 😅

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Weed gets such a bad rep as THE gateway drug, but can we all just be honest and say it's alcohol?

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@Miz_Soraya

6 years

Y'all don't even wash your asses and you think the gays are after you? Pls.

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@Miz_Soraya

2 years

4B hair babes, what do I need to do to keep my hair like this all day? It's always humidity or something.. 😭

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@Miz_Soraya

1 year

from rock nights to Coke Studio, photoshoots to exhibitions, and garden barbecues to road trips, it was always an adventure with you around. the fierce love and dedication that you put into all your relationships is something we can all learn from

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

"Nice Guys" are the undisputed kings of emotional manipulation..

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

Looks grate..

Jonathan Morrison 🙋🏻‍♂️

@tldtoday

5 years

The new Mac Pro 😍

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@Miz_Soraya

3 years

Super proud of this guy for still chasing after his dreams and adding "published author" to his already ridiculously long list of achievements 🧡✨

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@Miz_Soraya

5 years

This baby just asked me why I am not married at my big age, pls 😭

CHISOM

@_chisomokafor

5 years

Bomboclaat

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@Miz_Soraya

4 years

Anyway, feminists have tried begging you; we have pleaded for our lives, attempted to reason, and worked tirelessly to educate men and keep women safe. If after all that, consequence is the only language you understand, so be it.. 💅🏾

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@Miz_Soraya

2 years

@writtenbyflora Bombastic side eye 😅

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