Misnomer @Misnomer Twitter profile

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@Nissan_Fukuoka

Misnomer

@Misnomer

5 years

Justin Bieber is 25, Tom Cruise is 56. Challenge an actor 31 years older than you to a fight. I’ll go first… Sam Waterston, you’re a punk, and due for an ass beating. Name the place.

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

4 years

The good old days, before drones. You wanted aerial footage, you hired a guy in a Cessna who had a couple cocktails and a pending case before the FAA.

Las Vegas Locally 🌴

@LasVegasLocally

4 years

The Strip, 50 years ago

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@Misnomer

6 years

This is the face of a man whose $20,250 jackpot doesn’t quite get him even.

Boyd Rewards

@boydrewards

6 years

Did you see John's handful of cash? He hit it big for $20,250 at @DiamondJoWorth ! #BConnected

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@Misnomer

5 years

@rogerpatmyers Godspeed

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@Misnomer

2 years

BREAKING NEWS: Authorities have identified the body found in a barrel in drought-stricken Lake Mead as 3:2 Blackjack.

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@Misnomer

4 months

Cheers, dealt Royal. 🥂

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@Misnomer

3 years

Jamie Dutton looks like a velociraptor. #Yellowstone

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@Misnomer

6 years

If I win the $1 billion lotto tomorrow, I’M buying Rio, and I’m putting the carnival in the sky parade back. I’ve been drinking.

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@Misnomer

3 years

The below article says “more than 140 people” have signed a petition to keep the volcano. I bet I can get 150 likes to this tweet requesting that the volcano ooze molten nacho cheese. Please RT. #cheesevolcano

8 News Now

@8NewsNow

3 years

GOODBYE VOLCANO: The volcano outside of the Mirage Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas will be torn down as part of remodeling #8NN

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

3 years

Three girls sitting atop the terrace railings taking pics. I’m sure this’ll end well.

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@Misnomer

6 years

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

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@Misnomer

5 years

@VegasWonk

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@Misnomer

5 years

I broke the internet. Perhaps fellow St. Louisan @jack might bestow upon me the honor of the blue checkmark?

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@Misnomer

6 years

@markasaxon $50 million is like…4 Bud Lights at Ballpark Village.

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@Misnomer

5 years

I suspect many of you are lying about your age for the chance to fight Kevin Spacey.

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@Misnomer

6 years

To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER SPLIT TENS AGAINST A DEALER’S SIX. NEVER LET YOUR CAB DRIVER TAKE THE TUNNEL. DON’T BRING YOUR KIDS TO VEGAS. ELLIS ISLAND HAS A $7.99 STEAK DINNER SPECIAL.

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@Misnomer

3 years

My kid is her high school valedictorian, which will come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. Her mom’s pretty smart though.

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@Misnomer

1 year

Get a load of this draw.

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@Misnomer

5 years

If you would’ve told me this morning that I’d have incidental conversations with Laura Ingalls, Jan Brady, and Ted Cruz, I would’ve said, “AGAIN??!!??”

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@Misnomer

4 years

Kids threw me a Vegas-themed Father’s Day party!

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@Misnomer

3 years

@ScottAdamsSays It’s pronounced “shēt stain”. It’s French.

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@Misnomer

5 years

@IndyJeffrey Biebs.

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@Misnomer

6 years

Royals ain’t everything. Video poker porn for the discerning connoisseur.

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@Misnomer

5 years

Your tongue-in-cheek threats of elder abuse have landed us in the A.V. Club. Great job, internet!

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@Misnomer

4 years

Those not wearing masks are surprised with an involuntary antibody test.

Caesars Palace

@CaesarsPalace

4 years

Lucky @Caesars_Rewards guests wearing masks are being surprised with $20 in #FreePlay ! 🎉 #LikeACaesar @CaesarsEnt

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@Misnomer

2 years

Shoutout to this person, who apparently slept on the floor of their terrace last night.

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@Misnomer

5 years

@BrainGoblin Exceptions could be made.

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@Misnomer

9 months

My daughter is home from college, and her boyfriend has come for a visit. He’s Russian. What should we watch tonight, Red Dawn or Rocky IV?

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@Misnomer

4 years

Who says Vegas got rid of all the amenities?

Las Vegas Locally 🌴

@LasVegasLocally

4 years

The Fremont Street Experience has installed a gunshot detection system that will allow security to precisely locate the source of all the gunshots.

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@Misnomer

4 years

My baby girl was just admitted to the University of Illinois! Third generation Illini! @Illinois_Alma @Illinois_Alumni @StLouisIllini

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@Misnomer

3 years

@libsoftiktok Or - hear me out - maybe they’re just teammates. You know, people from diverse backgrounds supporting one another, working together toward a common goal. (That is a fully articulated thought.)

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@Misnomer

3 months

I visited Mirage on my first Vegas trip, c. 1992. My buddy and I saved up all of our daily budget, because we wanted to eat at this VERY fancy restaurant we’d heard about, the “California Pizza Kitchen”. We sat down, perused the menu, and decided on a pepperoni pizza, $24.95. 1/2

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@Misnomer

3 years

Got a stupid doctor appointment tomorrow and I can already tell two things are gonna happen: I get yelled at for being fat, and I get a Shamrock Shake for the ride home.

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@Misnomer

5 years

Hell to the yes.

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@Misnomer

5 years

@Ms_Kat_L Peace and love!

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@Misnomer

5 years

Magic hour

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@Misnomer

5 years

To those who would say time travel is impossible, I invite you to explain how I’m already into tomorrow’s gambling budget. 🤔

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@Misnomer

10 years

And now we know what happened to the old MGM entrance lion.

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@Misnomer

9 months

Ah yes, the famous Fontainebleau nachos. They bring this little bit out first, and then 16 years later, you get the rest.

Mike Herman

@MuTigerMike

9 months

Hey @fblasvegas we waited an hour for food in the Sportsbook and this is our nachos??? Come on man

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@Misnomer

2 years

That’s the face of a man whose $8700 hand pay don’t quite get him even.

Suncoast Casino

@suncoastcasino

2 years

Congratulations to lucky local Henry on his $8,681.29 win!

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@Misnomer

5 years

Who wore it better? #vegasnerds

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@Misnomer

3 years

Checking my kid’s candy. I’m concerned there might be a razor in this one.

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@Misnomer

7 years

CONFIRMED: Bellagio IS removing iconic fountain.

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@Misnomer

1 year

🎰

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@Misnomer

3 years

Who did this?

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@Misnomer

3 years

Shazam ⚡️

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@Misnomer

2 years

@KurtSchlichter @MattWalshBlog The thing is, you put a dress on Chromium, that don’t make it Boron.

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@Misnomer

2 years

I’m not saying inflation has hit Las Vegas, but Stage Door hotdogs are now listed as “Market Price”.

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@Misnomer

5 years

Checking my kid’s candy. Concerned there might be a razor in this one.

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@Misnomer

3 months

@Mike_E It’s funny, because @MirageButler just posted, “I had to wait until we closed to tell this story: It was 4:30 am, and I was cracking a Bud Light for a naked man floating on an inflatable unicorn….”

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@Misnomer

6 years

The wife and I share an Amazon account, so I get an email every time she buys a kindle book. She just bought one called “The Marriage Lie”. I’m sure everything is fine.

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

2 years

@ChristinaPushaw Oh great, I survive the Winter of Severe Illness and Death only to find myself squarely within the Time of War and Global Peril. I can’t catch a break.

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@Misnomer

2 years

Never gets old.

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@Misnomer

3 months

What if Mirage was never actually there. 🤔

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@Misnomer

5 years

Last Saturday night, I performed in a Las Vegas showroom before a sold out crowd. This Saturday night, I nuked some Velveeta that expired in June.

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@Misnomer

3 years

Pains me to say it, but cabs are the only game in town. Ride share is completely useless at the moment.

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@Misnomer

5 years

Excited to announce my new book, which will show you how to get the most out of Las Vegas WITHOUT the need for coupons!

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@Misnomer

4 years

Wife had to borrow my pickup truck to go get my Father’s Day present. I’m either getting a new grill or three cubic yards of mulch.

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@Misnomer

5 years

Welp, we caught the teenage daughter sneaking out last night. The giveaway was when the temperature in the house dropped 20 degrees. She left the window open. Foiled by general dipshittery.

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@Misnomer

3 years

I just wanted to play craps for two minutes. I just wanted to eat steak for two minutes. I just wanted to watch the concert for two minutes. Why isn’t everything free???

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@Misnomer

5 years

Dream realized. #vegasnerds

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

5 years

Each time I’m in Vegas, on about the 4th day or so, I say to myself, “Self, you’ve proven yourself capable of walking long distances every day. Let’s continue that at home and we’ll lose some weight.” And then I say, “J/K, I’m so high right now!” And we laugh.

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@Misnomer

7 years

How do I inform the elderly gentleman in this Southern Illinois tavern that he’s just won the 2018 World Series of Satin Casino Jackets?

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

6 months

I returned to my room at Fontainebleau and discovered they’d provided turn down service. As I was standing there appreciating this, the doorbell rang. It was housekeeping. “Is that enough chocolate? Want some more?”

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@Misnomer

6 months

Fontainebleau Room Service: No minimum spend, food served on fine china with polished flatware and linen napkins. Cosmo Room Service: Here’s your pancakes in a sack.

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@Misnomer

4 years

Guess who turned 6 today?

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@Misnomer

4 years

For those who followed the saga of my dad and I building a farmhouse table together, here’s the finished product. Pretty pleased with it. 😊

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@Misnomer

6 years

There’s a “Hotel Storage” closet on my floor, but given that it’s Cosmo, how do I know there’s not a swanky speakeasy lounge behind that door?

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@Misnomer

11 months

There was a strict “no political talk” restriction at Thanksgiving, so I just brought a cheese board and kept my mouth shut.

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@Misnomer

8 years

Boom goes the dynamite.

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@Misnomer

2 years

My beloved Cosmo is getting pretty ragged. @MGMResortsIntl

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@Misnomer

7 years

BREAKING: Wynn Resorts names Stephen A. Weinberg new CEO

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@Misnomer

2 months

Extraordinary, exceptional dinner at Michael Mina at @Bellagio . GM Justin Wolf and his entire team made my daughter’s 21st birthday celebration an unforgettable evening. I give them my highest recommendation.

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@Misnomer

4 years

Welcome back, Vegas bars.

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@Misnomer

3 years

🎶Luck be a Lady tooo-niiiiiiiight!🎶

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

3 years

With my birthday 40 minutes away, I reminded my wife this was her last opportunity to blow a guy in his 40s. “No,” she said, “it’s my last opportunity to blow you in your 40s,” and she rolled over and started snoring.

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

4 years

As random plane spotting goes, this was a good one!

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@Misnomer

2 years

@Pennys4Vegas Enjoyed the most recent vlog. Particularly, the pregnant chick slugging Coronas while ignoring Big Elvis.

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@Misnomer

5 years

I can’t keep up! You guys have a lot of pent up rage against aging thespians. 🎭🥊

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

3 months

“Great choice!” the waitress said. Then she turned to my friend. “And for you?” You see, $24.95 bought you a personal pizza, unsuitable for sharing. That was my first lesson in Strip economics. The Mirage really did change everything.

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@Misnomer

4 years

@ComplexSneakers @lemkus_ “Worn once, no creases, full stars”

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@Misnomer

2 years

Alright, this one’s going to be controversial, but: @MGMResortsIntl please make the @Cosmopolitan_LV guest rooms, including the terraces, marijuana-free zones. Zero tolerance.

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@Misnomer

7 years

Checking my kid’s candy. Concerned this one may have a razor in it.

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@Misnomer

7 years

Back detail of my @fivehundy Road Crew t-shirt w/ tour dates! #vegasnerds

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@Misnomer

5 years

@oxreb30 He has a very special set of skills...

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@Misnomer

6 years

Las Vegas, you did it again. ‘Til next time. 😘

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

2 years

You guys, I’m up $920 at the airport now. Does this place have a hotel?

Misnomer

@Misnomer

2 years

Airport slots pay lots! #SusanBAnthony

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@Misnomer

7 years

Heartfelt thanks to all of the #vegasnerds for the love, laughter, and generosity. What a wonderful group of people! 🤗

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

5 years

I don’t know how this helps us, but I support it. #BetterTogether

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@Misnomer

6 years

Bartender at Cosmo sports book just went over to Chandelier and got me two Verbenas. Said it was real busy over there, and I shouldn’t have to wait. Incredible service! @Cosmopolitan_LV

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@Misnomer

9 months

Hear me out: What if the nachos are so small because every time a FB exec leaves, they take a chip with them?

Rick Velotta

@RickVelotta

9 months

Another Fontainebleau VP exits, 4th exec to leave since casino’s opening via @reviewjournal , @mckenna_ross_

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

5 years

“Sir, you’ll have to empty that glass into a plastic cup before you go outside.”

Circa Las Vegas

@CircaLasVegas

5 years

Sports betting the way it used to be. Your new favorite sportsbook ( @CircaSports ) opens at @GoldenGateVegas tomorrow, June 1st. Coming soon to @theDlasvegas . Then, #Circa2020 .

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@Misnomer

1 year

The life/death cycle of a Vegas vlog: 1. Develop following by producing genuinely interesting content. 2. Fall in love with newfound “celebrity”. 3. Assume it was you, and not your content, that people found interesting. 4. Produce only vids of you talking to selfie stick. 5. 💀

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Misnomer

@Misnomer

4 years

Went to my father looking for some perspective & comfort. He was born during WW2, wounded in Vietnam, lived through the turbulent 60s and the 70s recession. The wise old sage didn’t hesitate: “I ain’t never seen no shit like this!” Thanks, dad.

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@Misnomer

3 years

I just walked into Circa for the first time and “WOW!” keeps falling out of my mouth. WOW!!!

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@Misnomer