[Rob Zombie voice]
Welllll Frankenstein motherfucker Raggedy Ann
Churcabra hotrod Invisible Man
Grindhouse mama lama flash in the pan
Beep boop meep mop Godzilla Japan
[Palm muted power chords]
Twitter pro-tip: If you have more than 400-500 followers then there’s a 100% chance people are screenshotting your tweets and making fun of you in a group DM.
The thing that’s so good about this clip is Bill Burr doesn’t engage in stupid online debate guy tactics like trying to own Maher with logic. He’s just like “shut the fuck up you phony” and refuses to take Maher seriously which is exactly how you should treat bloviating shitheads
The Jesse Kelly tweet could very well be a troll but it’s hard to tell because the sincerely held beliefs conservatives have about traditional masculinity are just as stupid and ridiculous.
Trump yelling “they’re eating the dogs in Ohio!” is incredible television. Now he’s ranting about how Kamala wants to give Mexican immigrants free “transgender surgeries.” This has to sound insane to people who don’t spend 15 hours a day stewing in right wing Facebook groups.
I managed a video store when Insane Clown Posse’s first movie Big Money Hustlas came out. Juggalos came in for weeks ahead of time asking if we got it yet. Then, when it finally came out, they all came in at once and stole every copy we had.
So much good shit has come out in the last 5-6 years if you’re a fan of loud guitar music, but it gets ignored by what’s left of rock writers because they’re completely out of touch with the genre they’re supposed to be covering.
ANNNNND not one rip off but TWO. DOPE. I get copying is a form of flattery, but this is just straight ripping off my shit. What do you guys think???
#cr
üecifly
I’m happy to report that the feud between Varg and a bodybuilding Nazi who calls himself The Golden One that started on YouTube 6 or 7 years ago is still raging on Twitter and is as stupid as ever.
It’s crazy how many people think their favorite bands are supporting themselves on music. Like, any time there’s a tour announcement you’ll see social media comments like “only 7 dates?!” and the reason it’s only 7 dates is because the band members all have day jobs.
Every time I see one of these “Here’s something inflammatory Ronald said” articles, I think about a music PR webinar I attended years ago where FIR’s publicist straight-up said he started being antagonistic on social media because the band wasn’t getting any coverage.
@adamjohnsonNYC
And if you chastise him even a little bit about his gross right wing beliefs he’ll immediately pivot to fascism because “the left has gotten too crazy for me”
@JoeThrashnkill
Using a dumb April Fool’s joke as a pretense to build brand affinity with the “pc police are out of control” crowd is such a fitting move for the corny heavy metal canned water company.
I’m searching Metal Twitter for guys complaining that the Olympics should have gotten Deathspell Omega or Mütiilation to play instead of Gojira. I know they’re out there!
Bryan developed a theory of fandon on the Guys podcast that seems to hold up: You have to be 3-4 different types of Guy to be normal. If all your energy goes into liking 1 or 2 things then you turn into a lunatic.
Hosting Guys has really opened up my eyes that all fans are psychos. There is not a single fan base that doesn’t spend like 80% of their day fighting against another fan base
Reminder that corporate wage theft is the most common form of theft in the U.S. and the total amount of money lost is 3 times higher than every other form of theft combined. Companies are almost never penalized for it, but when they are it’s a mild slap on the wrist.
SCOOP: The NLRB has ruled that Starbucks illegally withheld a major benefit to unionized workers.
In September, the company rolled out credit card tipping to all stores—except the union ones.
Now the company must give backpay to nearly 7000 workers.
Weird way to say Penn State was going to host a white supremacist speaker but cancelled the event when his supporters showed up on campus and started physically assaulting people.
Pennsylvania State University canceled a planned comedy event that was to be co-hosted by the founder of the Proud Boys after a demonstration against the speakers turned violent.
When I was still writing about music I shopped around an article about how Slayer had become a lifestyle brand and weren’t worthy of the rabid fanbase they cultivated in the 80s anymore. The pitch got rejected by every major rock and metal blog but the thesis still feels strong.
If there was ever a band who had no right to complain about cancel culture it’s Mötley Crüe. Vince Neil killed the drummer from Hanoi Rocks and gave two other people brain damage in a drunk driving accident and only went to jail for a month.
Lots of online dickheads were naysaying when bands started dropping off Download to protest Barclays involvement but the bands won and the online dickheads remain miserable losers. Shoutout to Dying Wish, Zulu, Scowl, Speed, Pest Control and Enter Shikari.
The
@qaapod
episode about how Jim Caviezel’s a lunatic is the only podcast ep I’ve listened to multiple times and it’s laugh out loud funny every time.
Lol this is exactly what I’m talking about. “Why is everyone suddenly offended by CC” but when you actually read the article “everyone” is two Twitter accounts with less than 100 followers saying the lyrics to one song are gross.
So much Metal Twitter outrage is completely manufactured. The “young non-metalheads” this guy is talking about is one single rando with a few dozen followers going “this CC song about raping child corpses is pretty gross”.
I love when metalheads say shit like “my coworker said he liked metal but he meant Lamb of God. He hadn’t even heard of Witch Coffin’s ‘Christ Ripping Hell Metal’ demo lol” as if the other person was the weirdo in the conversation.
When I worked in a movie theater we were screwing around one day and made a batch of popcorn with four times the amount of Flavocol you’re supposed to use. The result was radioactive orange popcorn that could strip the roof of your mouth off with deliciousness.
My latest recommendation: if you want the real taste of movie theater popcorn at home, it costs less than 10 bucks and will last you several years. For
@Aftermath_site
Oof I'm gonna mute notifications now because I don't need to see 3,000 more comments that all say "I don't care I don't care actually I love living rent free in my haters' heads." PS: Listen to GHÖSH!
We didn’t. Actually, jk…we did. Now available to order on , so you can be the most hated kid at the next Metal show you attend. Also, Ye For President 2024!
So much Metal Twitter outrage is completely manufactured. The “young non-metalheads” this guy is talking about is one single rando with a few dozen followers going “this CC song about raping child corpses is pretty gross”.
This is not even some big secret either. It’s just how bands with fanbases full of nasty shitheads do marketing. Their audience eats it up and blogs will always write about it because they’re all struggling to make money and inflammatory bullshit still gets clicks.
Periodic reminder: The idea that racism, fascism and bigotry should be tolerated in heavy metal because metal is supposed to be hateful and dangerous is ahistorical horse shit perpetuated by sloppy, maladjusted bedroom chuds.
New Blood Incantation sounds exactly like I was hoping it would sound. It’s got me shedding a single tear at the beauty and terrible majesty of the universe.
I’m fascinated by black metal musicians who make music that’s explicitly, unquestionably right wing or white supremacist and then insist they aren’t political. Are they just really stupid? (The answer is yes)
No one on Earth has ever been cooler than Rob Halford. Just casually hanging out with Andy Warhol wearing a shirt covered in dudes fucking and sucking.
Regular music press releases: Three sentences with release date info.
Heavy metal press releases: LIKE THE GREAT CTHULHU RISING FROM HIS WATERY PRISON IN R'LYEH, THE BLACK METAL MISANTHROPES IN NARGLBARGLE RETURN WITH 12 NEW HYMS OF ANTICOSMIC TYRANY (cont. for 500 more words)
The Robert Kardashian hologram thing is objectively hilarious. Kanye made Kim Kardashian’s hologram dad say he was proud of her for marrying the greatest musical genius in the world. Absolutely amazing.
There are so many metal songs about cancel culture and being mad online now. Imagine trying to sound like a big tough heavy metal guy while you’re roaring lyrics about someone insulting you on Facebook.
Here's a quick reminder that racism, misogyny, homophobia and transphobia are the norm in American society and using them for shock value for in your shitty art isn't transgressive. You're upholding institutional oppression.
@drewtoothpaste
Landlord ignored multiple tenant complaints of a foul smell coming from an apartment. Someone finally called the health department and the smell was from a tenant who died and had been decomposing in the apartment for 2 months.
I would love to join the Disney Adults pile-on but I’m a 44-year-old man who’s wardrobe is at least 50% heavy metal shirts with demons and sorcerers on them.
Apparently the Dayton shooter was a metalhead who identified as a leftist and the correct response to that is white male violence transcends political ideologies.
Yesterday, after 15 years, I paid the remaining balance of my student loans. Everyone who says erasing student loan debt isn’t fair to ppl who paid theirs off can eat my shit. College should be free and every cent of student debt should be erased because it’s a Wall Street scam.
Or people will see a band getting a few hundred thousand monthly listeners on Spotify and assume they’re rolling in money. 500,000 streams a month gets you roughly $1500 from Spotify. But that total gets split with your label before going to you to divvy up between band members.
[Marilyn Manson voice]
Fee fi fo fum
Jesus sucks and your parents are dumb
Boogedy boogedy boogedy boo
Don’t go to church, the Bible’s doodoo
HEY KIDS LISTEN TO ME
YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT COOL? AUTHORITY
HEY KIDS LISTEN TO ME
SHIT FUCK COCK BUTT VAGINA PEE
1. Prostitutes are hired and paid for sex. Neither of those happened. 2. I'm not responsible for controlling other people's shitty husbands. 3. Jezebel is my favorite Acid Bath song! 💋
I have so many thoughts about how a significant amount of people who enjoy shocking and transgressive entertainment like heavy metal and horror movies absolutely cannot handle the criticism and negative reactions it naturally elicits from the general public.
I’m thinking about how the Wachowskis refused to make another Matrix movie for years and Lana only agreed to direct Resurrections because Warner Bros was going to make it with or without her, so she made a movie about how capitalism destroys art by exploiting nostalgia.
Warner Bros. has announced that a fifth “Matrix” movie is in development.
It’ll be the first installment without Lana or Lily Wachowski as directors. Instead, “The Martian” screenwriter Drew Goddard will handle filmmaking duties.
It doesn’t matter what service you use. The difference in payouts between streaming services are fractions of a fraction of a penny. And that money gets split between multiple rightsholders anyway. If you want to support artists you need to buy music and merch and go to shows.
I went to see Starbenders and Des Rocs last week and the venue was jammed with hundreds of kids going nuts for loud rock n roll. There’s an audience for this music but the people who could be championing it are barely paying attention.
This generation knows nothing of CD booklets. They're just sitting around listening to music and have no idea there's 1,100 people Janet Jackson would like to thank.
@MindWavesTV
Ah sorry, I don’t argue with Twitter randos because it’s a waste of time. But for future reference, if you want to start an argument with someone you have to disagree with something they actually said, not something they said in your imagination.
An entire room full of people chanting “I WANNA BE AT THE RNC! I WANNA BE LIKE DAN BONGINO” is the dumbest and most joyful thing I’ve ever seen. Thanks to
@NickLutsko
for an evening of music and gremlins!