The G @MadeInBongo Twitter profile

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

93% of my tweets are fiction.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@returnofdiego These are not really cats. These are humans cursed and bound in feline form for all eternity for pursuing a forbidden love and it's the only way they can be together 💔

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The G

@MadeInBongo

8 months

@arismonet The father of my unborn twins 😍

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

So my dad died this morning. Other than a few dubious chest pains on the way to the hospital earlier, I seem to be handling it pretty well... Might have a breakdown in future. For now, I will light 1 up in his memory & pass out from the sheer exhaustion of dealing with this day.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Please keep my daughter in your prayers tonight. Mungu amponye mwanangu jamani. 🙏🏾

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Forodhani hasn't changed much... Also, why can't we have something similar in Dar? Like a park? I nominate the Tanganyika Packers grounds in Kawe. The place is just sitting there gathering dust. Smash everything and build a park, dammit!

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

I hope all strong, admirable, fearless rape survivors who have come forward with their stories have already had the therapy and healing they need. If not, it's time we did something...even as a group effort. No one should live with unaddressed trauma for the rest of their life.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

@wride_nicholas @DatUncleOfYours @TheMendozaWoman * Laughs in heavy metal music *

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@AbsOnRetainer You went to in there like

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

My mom is selling these beautiful African dolls for beautiful little African girls for Tshs 35,000. Comes with matching headbands for child and doll, plus 2 additional kitenge outfits for doll. DM or Call/WhatsApp: 0714858050 #NipeDili #RETWEEET #twittergulio #WapwaTuinuane

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

I knew there was a reason I didn't like papaya. Evil, disease carrying fruit 😑

Grosvenor 🇹🇿🤾🏾‍♂️

@Grosvenor_MB

4 years

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@KgothatsoMape I felt that I didn't like eggs anymore because they made me feel off. I was told it might be a temporary phase. My "temporary phase" is turning 11 next month 😁

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

But how did it get from THIS to THAT? 😭

Michael⚡

@heis_human

11 months

🥲✨

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Lookin for a therapist based in Dar. Any recommendations?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@mokualewis We really are an ecosystem. A tragedy for you can be a blessing to someone else and vice versa. It's what brings balance to the world. So it's good to take a step back from whatever situation you're going through & see how the chain of events affects others... It humbles you.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

📢 Looking for influencers for a marketing campaign ASAP. Please let me know if you are interested. My DMs are open.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Habari. Nawashukuru sana watu wote waliokuja kuchangia damu na kumuombea mgonjwa wetu apone haraka. Alhamdulillah, tumeshapata damu ya kutosha ili Baba akafanyiwe upasuaji. Mungu awabariki sana 🙏🏾

CoCo🍫💦

@YourFrenchFry

3 years

Habari, Baba wa @MadeInBongo ni mgonjwa sana, has a cancer issue, kidney failure and a heart condition. Anatakiwa kufanyiwa operation Alhamisi ila hana damu ya kutosha. TUNAOMBA kuchangiwa damu 🙏🏾 Just fika Muhimbili and contact +255772950000 au mcheki @MadeInBongo via DMs 🙏🏾

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Asante sana @YourFrenchFry @CarolNdosi @DadaConso @iGotTheWaves na wengine kwa kuniunga mkono na kusambaza ujumbe. Hatimaye tumepata damu ya kutosha ili baba afanyiwe upasuaji. Mungu awabariki sana 🙏🏾

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The G

@MadeInBongo

9 months

💀

Arthur_Grey

@__KOLZ

9 months

There’s a white guy named Grossi in tiktok who is exposing how expensive most goods are in our supermarkets as compared to the US haha

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

How I'm tryna be with somebody's son

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@farreal_sa @kwethu95 @nathizungu_ @kyla_szmanju @PaballoSaid Epebophiles

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Kuna watu wanajua kupishana na gari la mshahara... Unajaribu kuwasiliana nae umpe dili yeye anapuuzia. How many people in this town are willing to give you 7 figures just to sit there and look pretty? 😒

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Hi. If you are an influencer based in Tanzania and can speak fluent Swahili and English please contact me directly via DMs. I need 40 influencers to respond as soon as possible.

The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

📢 Looking for influencers for a marketing campaign ASAP. Please let me know if you are interested. My DMs are open.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

10 months

Have you ever thought that the whole point of life was to just exist? That all this stuff we do is just extra? Making it or not making it doesn't matter? That whether you live in a mansion or hut means nothing in the grand scheme of things?

Digital Migrant

@DigitalMigrant1

10 months

Have you ever thought that some people are meant not to make it?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Hi! Looking for a 2D animator. If interested, please let me know. DM me to find out more about the project and share links to your portfolio. Thanks 😊

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Guess who's got a female president?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

So it's simultaneously Men's Day and Toilet Day? Hmm...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

Depression can steal so many memories from you. Large chunks of your life missing because you have no recollection...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

8 months

Me and somebody's daughter someday 😍

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@paninibaby "Why did you do so-so when I told you not to?" *beating* "Answer me!" 'But I didn't...' "Don't you talk back to me! Disrespectful child!" *more beating*

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

Been rewatching "The Nanny" , "227", "Living Single" and "Sex And The City" lately. My favs are Fran, Sandra, Regine & Max and Samantha. Bae sometimes watches with me. Tell me why this man thoughtfully looks at me and says "Ah, that's why... " 🥴

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Admitting you have a metal illness

Smooth Criminal ≡

@STFUdrazzyDGAF

3 years

So what's not a crime but feels like a crime in Tanzania?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Finally felt it was safe enough to go see my dad in hospital yesterday. He's lost so much weight, he's basically just head and shoulders now. He's got renal failure... He'll be on dialysis until he dies. He can't walk. Can barely eat. The cancer has spread... Subhanallah.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

@Oloni Laying down and thinking of England

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

Just found out my crush has a girlfriend. Nimpindue, nisimpindue? 🙃

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

This is actually some brilliant advertising

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@CarolNdosi Pole sana Carol. I can only imagine what you've been going through. May God rest him somewhere wonderful, and may He give you the strength to bear and accept what transpired as part of His great plan.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

It's my mahfuckin birthday!

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Good morning to my lovely people who wear glasses ❤ Those with 20/20 vision can go see what they can do to fix 2020

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@Kieraplease Kida is fine AF 😍

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Nothing better than a date night with yourself

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@DigitalMigrant1 The last time niliulizwa hivo nilijibu "I see myself being asked better questions". They never called me again though so I do not recommend trying this 😬

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The G

@MadeInBongo

9 months

@MarekaMalili My first job is to be a mother to my child. Anything I do in order to provide is just an instrument. Ni muhimu sana kufuatilia maendeleo ya mtoto mwenyewe. Househelp sio substitute ya mzazi. If its possible to work or do business part time ili upate muda zaidi na mtoto, do it.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

8 months

It's that time again...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

A mother's number one fear is having any kind of harm come to her child. That fear is magnified when the child is a daughter. I want a world where little girls are safe. Where they'd grow up to be women who are safe from all forms of sexual violence. Because there'd be none.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

This is a chubby men appreciation post

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Dah! Corona isikie kwa mwenzio tu. RIP Aunt Shamim 🙏🏾 Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Let's boycott all of them! #DataMustFall

Carol Ndosi

@CarolNdosi

3 years

10,000 - 4.5 GB Watu wa content ku-upload au hata kumtumia client? Halafu tunasema tunataka Creative Digital Economy? 🤦🏾‍♀️ #DataMustFall

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

We need to stop this baby, honey, sweetie names we call our significant others. Go local! Say "my sukari guru, my kashata ya nazi, my peremende, my ubuyu wa babu Issa, my mataputapu, my moyo mtamu, my uji wa ulezi, my ndizi mzuzu, my Pera maziwa..."

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

These potatoes look like they went to private school and graduated with a 4.5 GPA

dresden

@drezzyyyy

4 years

one of God’s greatest creations: the potato

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Rescued a puppy that fell in a septic tank. Poor thing is shaking like a leaf.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

We received your cry for help. Hang in there, the ambulance is on the way.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Dear African lawyers, it's 2021. Ditch the silly colonizer wigs. Y'all look dumb as hell. Ni hilo tu.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@ijbaul "I'm surprised. You seem to know a lot about this". Yes, was dismissed and misdiagnosed all my life, Rachel. SOMEBODY had to figure out what the hell was going on! "OK, well here's 3 different drugs you can't pronounce and I'll see you in 3 months. Good luck!"

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@CSI9ja @Morbidful Once went to an animal farm when I was in 5th grade. They had camels that they'd force to carry kids for rides. They even whipped these camels and they would shed tears. It was pretty horrible.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

My nigga! This shit is nuclear! Already bopping to it on replay 👌

Idris

@IdrisSultan

4 years

Allow me to bless your night with this hit🔥😎🔥 Motra The Future - Masihara Ft Idris Sultan & Damian Soul (Official Audi...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@MKiaga

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Mvua kidogo tu halafu una tweet "I miss sex with my ex" Jiheshimu tafadhali. Jiheshimu kama mara 4 hivi na huyo ex wako halafu mpige tofali.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@Oloni @bumble He was surprised that I was a gamer. Said he was too... All that man ever played was FIFA 🚮

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Calling fat people "fat". It's not a bad word, it's just an adjective. There's no need for euphemisms. Treating "fat" like a dirty word contributes to fat shaming culture.

The Man🇿🇦

@DegreatMurster

4 years

Bomboclaat

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Is it something in the water? Everybody seems to be in love and I'm just here being insane...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@MsBrown_Tz @YourFrenchFry You need to consider 3 things: 1. Heartbreak is painful. Not just emotionally...it affects your entire body. This is science. 2. Depression gives you tunnel vision. 3. Not everyone is mentally strong enough to withstand the first two. Some people have deeper issues...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Good morning @255legend I just wanted to let you know that you have full permission to wreck my uterus and turn my insides to porridge

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

My daughter just asked me if this was a mango... Inabidi tuanze darasa sasa 🤣

Dr. Joshua Kileo

@Joki_Aaron

4 years

Ni app gani unatumia kufatilia mzunguko wako wa mwezi?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak 😭

ALT.Lifestyle Health & Fitness.

@LifestyleAlt

3 years

Plank walks!!!! Don’t feel like doing a full on workout? Try this quick full body movement. Aim for 60 reps and above. You’ll hit your arms , back core and legs all at once. Try it now😊💪🏾

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Clingy niggas are so unattractive. 23 missed calls and a bunch of whiney texts is not romantic, it's desperate and reeks of emotional instability. Have some self respect and go be productive.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

#DearCoco @255legend can gerrit. Anytime, anywhere. He can gerrit in the morning, he can gerrit at nap time, he can gerrit after Sunday service, he can gerrit in his office, he can gerrit when he's happy, sad or homesick, hell he can gerrit when he's sick too. Ni hilo tu 😬

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The G

@MadeInBongo

10 months

Richie Rich married London Tipton. Love to see it 🥲

Variety

@Variety

10 months

Macaulay Culkin, Brenda Song and their son, Dakota, pose for photos by his newly unveiled star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@queeen_minah I was taught to accompany prayer with action. If its money you want, pray lakini pambana kuitafuta. If its good health, pray but develop and maintain healthy habits. If its love, pray but go out and socialise. Still, some situations/things hazibadiliki. So find something else

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

We need young leaders with fresh ideas and passion for the welfare of their country. To hell with these useless old fogeys and their astonishing lack of sense or shame.

Swahili Times

@swahilitimes

4 years

Waziri Mkuu, Kassim Majaliwa Aprili 22, 2020 atakuwa mgeni rasmi katika maombi ya kitaifa ya kuombea nchi dhidi ya janga la #COVID ー19 yatakayofanyika katika viwanja vya Karimjee, Dar es Salaam kuanzia saa 3:00 asubuhi. Maombi yataongozwa na viongozi wakuu wa madhehebu ya dini.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

9 months

@XivTroy @Faruqthoughts This is how people end up depressed. You need to look within then set a purpose for yourself. Something that will give you reason to wake up everyday, that you can do indefinitely and still derive joy/passion. Eg. Mine is to help nourish young African minds through creativity.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

I am straight I am straight I am straight I am straight I am straight I am straight I AM STRAIGHT!!! 😭

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The G

@MadeInBongo

10 months

Just look at your self: Your mind, your physique, your emotional state. Will you survive the zombie apocalypse?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@DLarryHoffman @moe_suttle @erika_kay10 But she always wore "tons of makeup" even in the past. You just didn't notice because she was bigger.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

8 months

It's easier for a man to find a good woman than it is for a woman to find a good man.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

How I look at my healthy coping mechanisms

PREACH 🥇🏌🏾🛖

@freefedbaby

4 years

Bomboclaatttt!

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

People say "triggered" so easily but some have never felt the feeling. I once got mugged right outside my home. MY HOME. There I am at 10pm, just getting back from getting takeout that took forever (UberEats & Jumia Food didn't exist then) the cab speeds off and I'm walking...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

I don't understand why women who don't want kids get such negativity thrown their way. Do you know how much time, patience and energy it takes to grow and raise a full human being? You can't even drink for most of it and most of it will make you desperately need a drink 😕

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Does anyone know where I can get a Monstera plant in Dar? I've asked various flower sellers but no luck.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

Anyone who can listen to a beat and not move a single part of their body is a psychopath and should be avoided at all costs.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Habari. Nawashukuru sana watu wote waliokuja kuchangia damu na kumuombea mgonjwa wetu apone haraka. Alhamdulillah, tumeshapata damu ya kutosha ili Baba akafanyiwe upasuaji. Mungu awabariki sana 🙏🏾

Carol Ndosi

@CarolNdosi

3 years

Habari, Baba wa @MadeInBongo ni mgonjwa sana, has a cancer issue, kidney failure and a heart condition. Anatakiwa kufanyiwa operation Alhamisi ila hana damu ya kutosha. TUNAOMBA kuchangiwa damu Folded hands Just fika Muhimbili and contact +255772950000 au mcheki @MadeInBongo

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@mitchellekaroro I lose interest in all my hobbies... One day you're happily singing and drawing and gaming, the next you're wondering what the hell happened coz it's been months and there seems to be a blank space in your mind.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Kukataa kutoa mchango wa harusi

Smooth Criminal ≡

@STFUdrazzyDGAF

3 years

So what's not a crime but feels like a crime in Tanzania?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@Officialsantan8 You know, I kinda feel this way sometimes. Then I remember that I don't really want to die. I just want relief from the pain. And there's healthy ways to get that relief. So maybe we can do that together, if you're interested?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

8 months

I love my Kabinti so much. Life has been overwhelming to us both lately but we'll be alright.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Above all, let's practice kindness. To ourselves and to others.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

11 months

My nice girl era is over. Mtu yeyote akinizingua mi namroga.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

It's not easy being a love letter girl in a text message world.

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

Normalize not wearing bras

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The G

@MadeInBongo

1 year

@dera_theking @tom_adwar This sounds oddly specific 😁

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Adele better be in the studio now forreal. I'm expecting rap verses and features from Skepta. I want carnage on them tracks. I want my ears to bleed after listening to that new album. I want to simultaneously cry and wage war on some dude's entire family. I also want donuts 😋

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

FIRST DATE: Him: So what kinda guy attracts you Me: I'm Pansexual Him: Wow! So that includes me, right? *puts hand on my thigh* Me: No, I'm a Pan-sexual *removes hand* Him: So what's the problem? Me: I'm attracted to pans Him: ?! Me: With food in them Him: ...

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

Everytime you log into social media you see people telling you to try more, do more, be more. Enh, how about this year we don't try at all. How about we just...be?

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Hivi wanaume wa Dar mna nini? Mlegezo hadi kwenye mask? 😕

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

When you're high and finally read all the shit you tweeted when you were sober

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The G

@MadeInBongo

10 months

@iamannapepe *signs who will have the most abundant 2024 - Aquarius - Aries - Capricorn - Scorpio - Virgo - Sagittarius - Gemini I fixed it for you 😭

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The G

@MadeInBongo

5 years

In case y'all forgot, this year how about:

TSWANA MAN WITH SOME POWER

@George_Mogwase

5 years

Gents let's just STOP begging this ladies for pussy🍑 and start fucking each other🍆🍆!!!😋🙈

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

@IdrisSultan Minding your own business ni sunna

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The G

@MadeInBongo

4 years

Hi. I'm a Tanzanian living in Tanzania. I wore masks, washed my hands like crazy and still managed to get Covid. In fact, I'm still feeling the pain in my lungs weeks later. Please take precautions. People are dying silently out here.

𝕵𝖆𝖘. 🖤

@jvsminxe

4 years

Psa: Moved to East Africa 3 months ago. Tanzania to be exact.🇹🇿✨ Living our best lives, All Praises to TMH. There’s no Covid here, no Masks, No GMO foods, no guns....just to name a few. We love it here!❤️

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The G

@MadeInBongo

3 years

@NormanJonasMD Does the MD stand for Mechanic Degree? 😫

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