Olivia Foster @LivsFoster Twitter profile

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Couples: If the path is small you can walk single file, I promise your partner will not leave you in the 3 seconds it takes to let someone else pass at a safe distance

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

I'm sorry, but before WFH, how did we ever get any laundry done?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Oh good. It’s the season where you put a load of washing on the airer on Monday and 45 working days later it’s still damp.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

People who don't live in London love to come to London and talk about how they could never live in London.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Big dick energy this morning from the intern who emailed a company I'm working with to say she can't come in again because the tasks were too 'menial,' for her. She'd been here a day.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Robert Pattinson went to the Dior show dressed in the outfit your Mum wore that time she got a Wowcher voucher for an afternoon tea at your local boutique hotel.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

So many people fighting in my mentions so I should clarify that I ALWAYS think couples should let people pass by walking single file, rather than forcing them into the road / ditch / pond, Covid or no Covid

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Obsessed with this photo that my local Indian have taken to illustrate their onion salad

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Dreamt I was having an affair with Gareth Southgate last night, after some rollerblading he took me to a restaurant and said, "You can order any type of potatoes you want." 😍

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

I beg of you let us get through this week without having to listen to a man explain why women's football is quite good, actually.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

As this has blown up, here's a picture of me two weeks into my internship at Heat magazine (100 years ago). I'd already interviewed Amy Winehouse with my tape recorder, but I thought the giant notepad would be a subtle way to take notes of everything she told the other reporters.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Shout out to my fave person from this weekend: The 27 yr old lamenting his age in the club toilets and earnestly telling me to ‘appreciate your youth,’ who practically died when I revealed that I am, in fact, seven years old than him

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

My favourite thing to say to family members who ask me when I’m going to have children is, “I’ll have one now if you want to pay for it.” 100% success rate in creating stunned silence.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

As the old story goes: Never will a freelancer be offered so much work as the week they're going on holiday

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

The year is 2025, an intern at The Sun feverishly thumbs a now well-worn copy of Prince Harry's autobiography, Spare, 'FIND ME ONE MORE STORY,' their editor shouts, a single tear rolls down the intern's face.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

One good thing about isolating alone is that nobody has got to see the absolutely feral amounts of butter I put on everything.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

My kink is adding things to my To Do list after I've already done them just to cross them off immediately

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

As of last night I have not had one single drop of alcohol for 100 days and I'm sharing this because, if you're thinking you'd like to reassess your relationship with booze, my firm advice would be: Do it. 🧵

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Right, here's what I don't understand about the crowds on beaches and in the parks, are they not afraid of being pictured on the Mail Online? The thought alone could keep me in my house until October.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

@darren_scott That tweet was sponsored by me walking in a muddy ditch just so they could keep those hands tightly held

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

British journalists looking at this brilliant wage wondering if the 0 in 107k was a mistake

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

This is your 48 hour warning: You do not need to text your ex Happy Christmas this year.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Can someone confirm that Wayne Rooney has a dazzling personality, because seriously, how does a man who looks like a potato continually manage to cheat?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

11 months

Word of warning to anyone looking to rent right now, never, ever, step foot in a @Savills - especially their Shoreditch office. While they tweet their 'stunning,' portfolio, let's take a look at the not-so-stunning way they actually treat their tenants... 1/10

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

They should make a new Instagram filter, but instead of making you prettier, it should show you what you’d look like if you’d stayed living in your home town

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

@meghamohan @lolalottie The way he says “I think from memory suitcase number 24 or something?,” as if he didn’t memorise every precise detail to be wheeled out from now until eternity

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

@AndyVale This is the sort of thing you do and then just NEVER tell anyone.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

The Queen has described Matt Hancock as being “full of beans,” which is the sort of thing you say about your friend’s child that you hate.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Of the many things we need to leave behind in 2020 can we add extremely slim women crunching their literal skin into "folds," and writing 5000 word captions about how we need to see different types on social media.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Be careful tonight guys, without the usual crowds disrupting your phone signal you’ll have to rely on your own willpower not to text your ex Happy New Year.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

I don't think we talk enough about the days when we wholeheartedly believed that the gold flakes in Goldschlager would cut into our throats allowing us to get drunk quicker.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

@MarianKeyes You can get rid of them - go to account settings, privacy and then last seen and click "nobody". My life has been a happier place since I made this change

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

On Friday, at ten to midnight, I received these messages from a man who ghosted me SEVEN months ago. “It was great to meet,” what, in JUNE 2019?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Anyone else at the point where if they only have one or two drinks in the evening they count it as an alcohol free day?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

I don’t have a single friend who isn’t struggling with their mental health atm, whether it’s extreme apathy, heightened anxiety or depression or PTSD-like symptoms. So, this tweet is to say, if you feeling like your head’s been battered with a bag of old dicks, you’re not alone.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

2/2. Turns out I'm working at the same company as him. So now not only does he get to see my ugly face all the time, I get to see him look like he's going to shit himself every time he walks past my desk / catches me coming out of a meeting room / spots me in the cafe

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Look, I quite fancied Sherif on Love Island, so I am going to need someone to find out whether he pooed in the pool or not

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Hi to all the new followers I got from this tweet. Special hello to those of you who can book me for work in January (nothing menial tho) and / or give me free Botox. Email in bio, work here:

Olivia Foster

I’m a producer, director and writer with over a decade of experience in the media industry. I specialise in working end-to-end on video and audio productions; from development and ideation, to...

www.oliviafostercreative.com

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

@misterdickinson We had one that put herself down for loads of Fashion Week events and was caught out when actual editors were nearly turned away because, 'There's already someone from your team here.'

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Has anyone else watched Married At First Sight Australia and wants to discuss: - How Anthony is the worst - How 'Jonesy' is the worst - How Sean is only 35

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Last week I passed the one year without booze mark. For anyone in the midst of a dry January that they secretly want to be a dry year (or lifetime), here's a short thread that may or may not be helpful. 1/7

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Why is Piers Morgan so obsessed with respecting the Queen? She’s not going to shag him

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

I either walk 10,000 steps in a day or I walk 47, there is no in-between.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

This John Lewis Christmas ad is the best one yet

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Every creative job advert: We want someone who can dive into the soul of gen z, wear their skin, eat their eyes, surf on a wave of their tears, create big, bad, buzzing-to-be-watched #content . Only apply if you have 10+ years of experience, £15k PA, we have a ping pong table hehe

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Yesterday I got on the tube wearing my mask and every time the train made the screeching noise (you know the one) I opened my mouth like I was screaming to amuse myself thinking no one would notice... Then I spotted a man laughing at me. So that was good.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Hello @Specsavers can you confirm or deny that the best way to test your eye sight is to take a short drive to Barnard Castle?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

How are we meant to “stay alert,” when we’re all drunk all the time?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Come on guys, not every criticism of Meghan Markle is racist, people also don't like her because she's American, a woman, a feminist, an activist, a mother who touched her bump, a mother who doesn't know how to hold her baby and because she wears black nail varnish

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

I'm sorry but the Tinder Swindler is bang average looking and his chat is dry as an oatcake, the fact that he even managed to get someone to meet him for coffee is a sign of how low the bar is for men

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

@steveleng OMG obsessed. My fave remains the one at Grazia who called someone while SITTING NEXT TO ME to talk to them about how she was mad she hadn't written anything yet.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

This week a man DM'd me on Instagram and then WhatsApped me on my number which I'd listed on my WORK website... FOR WORK. Another man told me the answer is to take my number down. Stop. Trying. To. Restrict. Women. Because. Men. Are. Creeps. Teach. Men. To. Be. Better.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Twitter's no1 laundry influencer strikes again

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

The government has made it illegal for us to have sex at someone's house but ok to go in their garden, so what I'm really hearing - using my Dominic Cummings instinct - is that it's ok to have sex with someone as long as it's under a gazebo outside.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Gucci trying to sell a pair of secondary school Kickers for £700 is the energy we’ll be leaving in 2021 thank q

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

The year is 2036, Brexit is still not done, Boris Johnson is still in the fridge.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Weather people: Stay at home, 100mph winds, chance of death Londoners: But can I still pop to Pret for a little coffee, or?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Reader: It was an extremely accurate photo

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Let's all spare a thought for the "I DON'T DO pen pals let's just meet for a drink," men who are having form sentences to communicate with women properly for the first time in their lives right now.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

So, what I’m hearing is; I can fly to Italy with 100 strangers, work in an office with anyone I want, have a wedding AND a game of football with 30 of my closest friends, go back to uni and hang out with 50 students... but not meet more than six people indoors or outdoors.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

11 months

@Savills So, there is it: Not one of the pre-tenancy works done, lied to by the agent, left stranded by @Savills and - the worst part- paying nearly £2.5k for an inhospitable flat. I've been renting in London for 15 years, Savills are the worst estate agents I have ever experienced. 10/10

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Solidarity with everyone who has a birthday between now and the second week of January, you may as well forget when you were born - everyone else has.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

A Friday story to warm the cockles. 1/2. A while ago I matched with a guy on a dating app who quickly sent me a stream of messages telling me it was a mistake and that I was ugly, way too ugly for him. It - and his face - stuck with me as it was really weird and cruel. Anyway..

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Women's unrealistic beauty standards can be neatly summed up by the fact that Kim Kardashian had to lose 16lbs to fit into a dress previously owned by Marilyn Monroe - a woman long lauded as a 'curvy,' icon, despite being a UK size 8

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

People have seen their family members die totally alone on the belief they couldn’t travel anywhere near them and yet a senior government aide travelled across the country to his family AND the government lied about his whereabouts. You can’t get more political than that.

Dominic Raab

@DominicRaab

4 years

It’s reasonable and fair to ask for an explanation on this. And it has been provided: two parents with Coronavirus, were anxiously taking care of their young child. Those now seeking to politicise it should take a long hard look in the mirror.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about writing for a while and then I realised today is pretty much my three year leaving full time journalism anniversary (that's a thing) so now seems like a good time. Thread. 1/13

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

I really wish this didn’t still need to be said in 2021... But men; if you send a stranger five separate DMs, to which you get no response, just stop. Women who don’t know you don’t owe you an explanation as to why they don’t want to talk to you.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Me last night: Regular Olivia Foster Me this morning: Laundry micro-influencer

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

@Susan5918 It's a joke, Susan.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

I’m going to have sex with everything that moves in 2022.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Just been flashed. On a high street. At 5.17. In broad daylight. Tell me again how this is ever going to change.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

The faces of three people who know they're about to have lunch with Prince Andrew

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

@JNRaeside Worst non-interview; Jessie J left me waiting 8 hours alone at a festival only to cancel after her people had requested I interview her - lucky escape though as a friend interviewed her once and she sung all her answers at him

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

@bigrichinnes Technically as a millennial I'd need to start a new war - Millennials VS Gen Z. It wasn't like this in my day etc etc.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Right, explain manifesting to me. I need to find a beautiful partner who wants to move to Hampstead or Highgate Village to live our best wearing-walking-boots-in-an-oversized-London-park life before the year is out. What sage do I need to burn for this? What crystal should I eat?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Absolute lol at billionaire Richard Branson offering up Necker Island as collateral to borrow tax payer’s money. What are we going to do, take it in turns to have a 15 minute stay there?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Like this tweet if you think Boris Johnson should resign.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

My kink is watching TV shows four years after everyone else and then talking about them as if I'm the first person to see them

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Ok, so, how do people have children? I’ve had to get up for work at 4.30AM once this week and I feel like my eyeballs are about to turn inside out from exhaustion.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

This is a brilliant piece, more street lights won't make a difference, this would.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Can't wait for the Conservatives to be voted back in even though one of their biggest insiders has literally spent all day admitting that they willingly killed a load of people who didn't need to die.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Cooking dinner for yourself every night as a single person is such a drag. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Six months no booze today and it’s slightly unfair that I had to wake up at 4am for work so I both look and feel *nearly* as bad as if I’d had 5 large Pinot Grigios last night. Generally though? Very good and nice thing, 10/10, would recommend.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Really wishing I'd made that lockdown album so I had a Soundcloud to promote. But instead go and look at the amazing work @FareShareUK @MindCharity @RefugeCharity @chooselove and @crisis_uk do, and if you have any spare £, send it their way ❤️

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Can confirm ordering one last bottle of wine at 9.30 and trying to drink it before the 10.00pm curfew to be a bad idea.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

An exercise haiku: 27 free treadmills But always the man will choose The one next to you

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Yesterday was my first shift volunteering with the @stjohnambulance crew at the Westfield vaccination centre. Was amazing to see - and be part of - the insanely hard working team they and the NHS have there. And, at the end of the of the day, I had my first dose of the vaccine

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

@charliehtweets I think it’s a combination of this and a realisation that you don’t *have* to have children, because many people have had children in ‘worse’ places than most of my friends live and those children have been fine, happy etc - it’s that we don’t want to (v London centric tho)

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Some good news: Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year, which means things will start to get lighter, even if only in the smallest sense

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

U.K. politics is so wild at the moment, you could literally take a nap and wake up to find a whole new government it’s moving so fast.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Throwback to when I had lunch with Paul Burrell about a Royal Wedding column he was doing for Heat and halfway through he stopped mid sentence and said, ‘Wait, can you feel that? She’s here, she’s always with us.’

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

It is so weird to convey how it feels as a woman to see so many other women so scared because of the Sarah Everard story, when you feel it too. The exhaustion of spending your life hyper aware of the men around you, holding your keys in your hand, speeding up or slowing down...

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Me, trying to get to the end of 2020

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

Tiger King came out two years ago yesterday, which is weird because we have lived through 47 hundred years since then

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

Why are men so weird about how much money women spend on their hair? Like alright Mark, you literally spend £120 on a couple of grams of gak leave me and my highlights alone.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

5 years

You know how influencers have to declare when something is an ad, sponsored, or gifted, imagine if people also had to declare when they'd had a hefty cash injection from their family.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

Dominic Raab admitting we might have a second lockdown if Coronavirus cases go up again. Here’s a novel idea, why don’t we just continue with the one we already have until it’s genuinely safe to ease it?

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

2 years

Very on brand that I went for a Botox consultation and then left highly offended when they suggested that I could, in fact, benefit from some Botox.

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

4 years

I just got ID’D in my mask and the cashier said, “I just need to see your face because you’re buying alcohol,” so I pulled my mask down and he said, “oh yes, yes, you’re old enough.” :’(

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Olivia Foster

@LivsFoster

3 years

The newly launched Working Women's Institute

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