Alison @JustAboutGlad Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Alison

@JustAboutGlad

20,495

Followers

1,133

Following

1,725

Media

16,229

Statuses

a cool, chill chick :) watch my comedy special “H*rny B*tch” on YouTube ;)

Los Angeles, CA

https://t.co/CQ1JMf1PLb

Joined March 2011

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

1 year

It's here! Check out my comedy special "VubiTV+ Presents: Alison Stevenson: Horny Bitch: A Comedy Special" on Youtube now! If you know nothin about this, it's a super normal by-the-book comedy special. Classic stand-up comedy, just the way we like it! 😉

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VUBITV+ Presents: Alison Stevenson: H*rny B*tch: A Comedy Special

Introducing a one-of-a-kind comedy special from the perpetually h*rny (and hilarious) mind of Alison Stevenson.For many many years, Alison Stevenson has been...

www.youtube.com

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Hey, grown ass men: don’t have sex with 18-year-olds either.

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Alison

2 years

Truly can’t believe this is an actual text message a grown adult man sent me

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Alison

6 years

Women get told our vaginas will be wide gaping holes if we sleep around with a bunch of men but no one tells men that all that friction with other vaginas is widdling their dicks down over time and making their dicks smaller :( :( :/

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Alison

3 years

Flirting

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Alison

4 years

Can you imagine having a stable life no matter what your job is or educational background or who your parents are or any of that classist capitalist bullshit omg what a world it would be

@CNN

CNN

4 years

Geneva, Switzerland, introduces a minimum wage of $25 an hour, more than $4,000 a month

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Alison

1 year

A guy I hooked up with hit me with a “who this” hope he remembers now!

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Alison

3 years

Why do I feel like this west elm Caleb thing is just hot, rich women not knowing how to deal with being treated like an average person

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Does it make sense to you that I always think Brendan is plural for more than one Brandon

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Congrats on your career success the world is ending

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Some of the worst misogynists, abusers, and narcissists I know are self-proclaimed nerds. Nerd culture is extremely corporate, not very radical, and not all that progressive. So, basically, mainstream nerd culture can die right now and I’d be happy.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

*Having sex* Me: Ohhh Him: 😏 Me: Oh ohhh Him: 😏😏😏 Me: O’Reillyyyyy Him: AUTO PARTS

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

It’s always “WHY are you still single” and not “HOW can I venmo you”

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Polyamory makes more sense for straight women bc we need to date like 6 dudes at once for it to equal one emotionally available person

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

Has anyone ever ordered Domino's without saying "Fuck it" first?

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Not a cell phone in sight. Just living in the moment.

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Alison

3 years

Kinda fucked up how being skinny automatically makes you at least kind of hot some of you are really skatin let’s put it that way

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Comedians wanna be tv writers so they can still be sad but own a house

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

I love my small dicked husband (1/62)

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Alison

3 years

Gen Z was never forced to watch nick at nite cause there was nothing else on and it shows

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

“Who am I?" - Descartes. "Why am I?" - Camus. "What am I?" - Chopped Liver.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

I blocked him 😊

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

4/20 is Valentine’s Day for men who don’t own bed frames.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Love when men on dating apps ask me what my hobbies are bro idk I’m in my 30s I just go to bed

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

The Trader Joe’s in Silverlake reopens soon. Keep this in mind before you enter.

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Alison

2 years

@JUSTcatmeme You think those are mud flaps? My pussy could eat hers wtf you talkin about

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

So sick of people telling me I won’t find love because I’m fat. I know damn well it’s because I’m annoying and clingy and kind of mean.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Are the orgasms better with masturbation? Yea often BUT god I just miss having a man around who thinks he’s introducing me to The Replacements 😩

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

Wow imagine how many of Jerry Seinfeld’s girlfriends had to emotionlessly say to him “Yeah, you’re right, that is weird.”

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

Is your child texting about GABAGOOL? GIF - Gabagool in fridge. GTG - Gabagool tastes great. OMFG - Ordering my fucking gabagool. GTFO - Gabagool time! Feast occurring.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

Update for those not on tik tok: Gen Z has just discovered the movie Zoolander.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea” The fish:

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Having a crush will legit make you obsessively check the Instagram account of someone with 232 followers who hasn’t posted a photo since 2019 like damn I hate this shit

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Alison

3 years

I mean yeah of course some beanie idiot sucks. Take the L and move on to the next guy who will lie to you and then ghost. It’s called dating sweetie!

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

No straight woman dates a man with all 4 1. Ability to text back 2. Savings account 3. Multiple towels 4. HBOGO password

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

1 year

Why I have so few matches on Hinge I will never know

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

@kaicomedy actually...yes

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

8 years

who's got two thumbs and has never found the clit?

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

THIS IS THE BEST TELEVISION SCENE TO EVER HAPPEN IN TELEVISION HISTORY

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

ok how’s this for a new tinder bio

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Looting is so unethical!!! As an American, you must do the moral thing and pay $80 for a shirt at urban outfitters that says “baby girl” on it and was actually made by a baby girl.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

Creeps like Justin Roiland dominate the ent. industry bc they believe reaching a certain level of success is their only means of getting w/young, impressionable, attractive women. This behavior isn’t a byproduct of success, it’s their driving force for wanting to achieve it :)

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

1 year

@beyond_alive you mean LOL

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Fuck, marry, kill: Diners, Drive-ins, Dives

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

Can we please stop referring to this image as sex

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Women are incapable of making unique, quality movies like SPY GUY, and ASSASSIN DUDE, and THE GUN JOB, and REMEMBER THIS WAR?

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

fuck what if trump starts an onlyfans now

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Give bugs bunny a 10 inch dick

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

There is nothing worse than a hot comedian

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

Dude on dating app: Got any dating horror stories? Me: Let’s see there’s that time I was penetrated without my consent and that other time I feared my life because my date refused to leave my apartment. How about you? Dude: One time this girl didn’t look like her pictures.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

His tiny penis won't be featured on the covers of porn but it's the one featured in my life and (barely) in my vagina.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

IDEA: Maybe if we renamed guns “bullet abortions” conservatives would try to ban them.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

8 years

Hate when I hear that white people have no culture

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Alison

5 years

Straight pride is when I have to google UTI symptoms because men don’t know how to clean their nails

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

The Joker is Lizzo for incels

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Alison

2 years

If Jordan Peterson found me hot I would end it all that’s a wrap on life for me

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Alison

2 years

You’re an optimist if you think he meant he will stop bugging me, pessimists read it as keep bugging me

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Poor Khaled. Common misconception that Kings never ate pussy. This belief stems from the fact that King’s often had designated tasters who would eat the pussy first in case it was poisoned.

@TheRoot

The Root

6 years

DJ Khaled says he doesn't perform oral sex, but expects it from his wife because he's the king: "Different rules for men"

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Alison

6 years

Me: Art is dead!!! Art:

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Alison

3 years

There should be a love island exclusively for fat sluts like me and unemployed skateboarders

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

For me, there is nothing sexier than this man. Short dick, no girth, cute little balls, etc.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

Men are so impressed by THIN women who "aren't afraid to order a real meal" at restaurants, but when I demolish a cheeseburger and fries in front of their eyes it's seen as "gross" and "sad" and "hey, that was my cheeseburger".

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

There's nothing sexier to me than a man who is both small dicked and confident.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

1 year

For the record if people think I’m pressed about this no I am not!!! I didn’t have him saved in my phone either and I still won’t

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Alison

7 years

My date last night suggested we watch Frasier the next time we hang out and I said “yeah I’m DTF” and he laughed hysterically so I guess this is what it feels like to be a powerful seductress.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

The biggest mistake you can make is to start your day as soon as you wake up. Take it slow! Meditate, drink some coffee, read the news, make some breakfast, watch a little TV, start a puzzle, clean the bathroom, watch more TV, call in sick, quit your job, keep watching TV.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

If you’re supporting Louis CK right now it’s because you don’t think that what he did was all that bad. So, instead of tweeting about giving him a chance, put a pause on your life and rethink your values bitch.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

Of course it’s also hilarious, I’m not an idiot I know these things

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Alison

3 years

To be fair he has a point

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Alison

4 years

How do so many men make “being 24” their personality for like 12 years?

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Alison

3 years

Wake me up when there’s a 7 hour MONKEES doc

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

Hey Louis, these women weren’t adoring fans. They were your peers, you condescending piece of shit.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Why be at the bars catching COVID when you could be at home rubbing extra lotion on your tits for absolutely no reason at all

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

I was once ghosted by a guy who told me he was on his way to pick me up for our date.

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Alison

6 years

Men are banned from writing content for the rest of the century

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

If he doesn’t grab your FUPA during sex he is NOT the one

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Wtf FBI? I’ve written 800 word articles about dildos that took more time to investigate.

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Alison

5 years

I don’t think people give Faith Hill’s “This Kiss” enough credit for having the word centrifugal in it

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

9 years

When you go to pee but poop comes out

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Me, to the universe: Bring me a single, emotionally available guy I connect with. The universe:

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

2 years

anyone who thinks that this is somehow an “L” for me is wild lol I literally do not care at all this is a random guy from tinder I agreed to go on a date with — has had no effect on me other than thinking it’s hilarious and dumb

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

8 years

Nice to see all the guys who've dumped me 2-3 weeks into us dating be able to make such a strong commitment to Bernie Sanders

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Alison

5 years

We should rename tartar sauce “ocean mayonnaise”.

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Alison

2 years

@ByondEmptyBliss @JUSTcatmeme what does my love of Arby’s have to do with anything

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

Men, do you know that you can be horny and not DM me about it?

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

It’s amazing how buying an overpriced candle you don’t need is the equivalent of 3 years of therapy

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Happy to report our favorite couple is still in a loveless relationship

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Alison

4 years

Who I pretended was my childhood crush vs who actually was my childhood crush

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

I gave a talk on something I like to call "Chill culture" and these are some slides from it

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

1 year

@caitiedelaney I didn’t wanna like a nepo baby but here we are

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

My anxiety 3 minutes into trying meditation

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

8 years

How different would the world be today if P.O.D's "Alive" was the original Golden Girls intro

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

Hear me out…what if I told you….casual sex can be fun….if you don’t view it as giving your body away….and instead view it as…having sex????

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

5 years

Do men really not know that being super horny on Tinder is cringe? Please, if you’re trying to fuck just act normal and go on a date and then maybe you’ll get to fuck. No need to tell me in your first message that you’d like to lick wine off of my lap like a kitty cat.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Hello fellas. I am the perfect girlfriend. The only way I can come is when you tell me I'm wrong, and my favorite hobbies include watching you play video games and not encouraging you to grow as a person.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

God bless this bar bathroom

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

3 years

I was the casting director who said this. Still think she’s too conventionally attractive/thin/blonde for television, sorry not sorry!

@BritishGQ

British GQ

3 years

“A casting director told me once that I will never be on a TV show,” says @sydney_sweeney , adding that she apparently didn’t have the 'right look'. “Now, I'm on some of the biggest TV shows in the world.”

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

4 years

Wild how it’s actually progress for a comedian to be cancelled for dating underage women in the same decade that he’s doing it in.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

7 years

Timeline right now is tweets about Rick & Morty fans mad about a sauce followed by women demanding birth control & it makes complete sense

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

One man’s “crazy psycho ex” is another man’s “forthright girlfriend who taught me the value of discussing my feelings instead of running away from them”.

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@JustAboutGlad

Alison

6 years

Currently witnessing a man try to cure his cough with vaping. This is the purest representation of a snake eating its own tail. Touching.

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