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Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ Profile
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ

@JohnnyRiggs9

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If life is a joke, death is the punchline - Amigo the Devil | Buried in @januaryjames โ€™s backyard ๐Ÿชฆ

United States
Joined September 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
22 days
@DiscussingFilm South Park called it Disney has gone way evil
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
Tweet media one
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
22 days
@JarettSays Would totally watch the minion voice actors on a split screen. Funny
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Touch her, goddamnit. Let her know you want her. Do this forever.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Let women be sexual in their tweets without feeling itโ€™s an invite to show her your ass or your dick
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
1 month
@anactualwalnut Most office work doesnโ€™t need to be done in an actual office building and theyโ€™ll say anything to deny that fact but the pandemic proved that commuting to work and sitting in someone elseโ€™s building figuring out what the hell youโ€™ll eat for lunch and then driving home and burning
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@bindureddy How did the world survive without spaghetti dancers you might ask
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
What doesnโ€™t kill you aims to make you suffer
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
1 month
@crustaceanfella Gojira always singing about the earth. But like everything else online nobody bothers looking into it. Just a knee-jerk reaction and itโ€™s a big day for metal. First one ever at the Olympics. Metal forever ๐Ÿค˜
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@Riley_Gaines_ If youโ€™re bleeding like that prob see a doctor
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Most men donโ€™t understand theyโ€™re creepy because theyโ€™ve never had to deal with a creep.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Sex and drugs is all we have left folks
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Good morning. Your assassins have failed.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Love is gravity. Not a cage.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
22 days
@ClownWorld_ How about we end tips and just pay people like normal
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@i_zzzzzz Every husband out there rn
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Remember when life felt like living?
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Why do people bother backing into a parking spot What are you preparing for
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
You know what would make men go to therapy? Having it cost less than a fifth of whiskey
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
12 days
@TyphinaRex How else can a pilot buy fancy things for all his girlfriends
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Iโ€™m thankful there isnโ€™t a โ€œwhoโ€™s onlineโ€ feature for Twitter.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Everyone is mentally ill at this point.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Hospitals are overrun so maybe wait to get something stuck in your butt until after the pandemic
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Trust me when your woman says โ€œOk wowโ€ she is absolutely not wowed in a good way
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Twitter: Tell us about your darkest childhood memory but make it funny
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Everyone is mentally ill at this point.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
23 days
@beinlibertarian Gotta give props to Elonโ€™s gentle nudging to keep Trump on track. I mean this is pointedly open communication and even though they arenโ€™t lockstep I think Elon can change Trumpโ€™s mind on the more hawkish views. Itโ€™s one hell of a moderation/interviewing task and heโ€™s doing it.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Does nobody get abducted by aliens anymore
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Youโ€™re damn right I judge you by your taste in music.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@Rothmus Too bad people donโ€™t know it was worse before this regulation happened But then again they probably havenโ€™t cracked a book since school
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
Weโ€™re all a bunch of apes clinging to a rock waiting for the asteroid at this point
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
I never got why itโ€™s called โ€œghostingโ€ because I seem to remember that ghosts haunt and make pests of themselves instead of the opposite
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Saw a cat licking his asshole for fifteen solid minutes. Thought of Twitter.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
How do you win this Twitter game anyway?
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Like youโ€™ve never cuddled with a whiskey bottle before
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
13 days
@TheMilkBarTV @salltweets In case heโ€™s wondering how actual women feel about his not โ€œenjoying being in the male changing roomโ€ ๐Ÿ˜’
Tweet media one
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Kill your ego and see the weather change.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
According to Twitter 70% of people want to be tied up and dominated but 90% want to eat cheese
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
The older I get the more I realize how much grown adults donโ€™t really know what theyโ€™re doing
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Music straight-up transforms my mood.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
You keep going because you canโ€™t let the bastards win
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Volcanoes are pissed off because they havenโ€™t had a decent sacrifice in centuries you know
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Goddamnit woman. You got me all fucked up thinking about you.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Tis the season to buy more shit you donโ€™t need with money you donโ€™t have for people you donโ€™t like
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
Death comes for us all. Enjoy the waiting period.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Never underestimate what a man will do to keep his woman safe.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
I didnโ€™t know โ€œperfect for meโ€ had a face until I saw yours.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Twitter because thereโ€™s no other way to get to know so many Canadians at once
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Learn how to say no before the yes buries you.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
She never looked away as I revealed my darkness. Never.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Give her a reason to wear her nicest things from out of the lingerie drawer
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
1 month
@salltweets This is so gross. Why? Why not actual women
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
My therapist had to rebook my session so he could see his therapist.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Thereโ€™d be a lot less loitering if sharks were land animals
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
You know sheโ€™s special when even the neighbors are afraid of her
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Merry Christmas you fucking freaks. I love ya.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
I knew I was in love when I started to fear death instead of welcoming it.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
23 days
@salltweets So wait. $100k in wins (hotly disputed by womenโ€™s rights in the female boxing category) and now this person is suing two of the richest people on the planet because other people made fun of the whole spectacle? ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Take your best shot I guess
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Keep in mind thereโ€™s no sanity test required to be on Twitter
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
We deserve some fun goddamnit
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
First I gotta deserve you before I can have you
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Potential cat owners: I love my house but what this place needs is a box of shit
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
If you wouldnโ€™t take a strangerโ€™s advice on the internet then why would you take their abuse
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
The hardest thing is leaving the old you behind
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Hard to believe itโ€™s mass shooting season already
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Remember when you could buy shit without being bugged for a damn review after? What do I look like fucking Consumer Reports
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Lady, I think itโ€™s safe to add โ€œpsychotic bitchโ€ to your resume
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
People be like โ€œSave the childrenโ€ to explain their abortion laws but when the parents ask for food shelter or education support the same people be like โ€œWhy would I support someone elseโ€™s childrenโ€
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Seems awful suspicious that itโ€™s always a โ€œhikerโ€ or a โ€œjoggerโ€ finding the dead bodies
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@bash18c If I gotta reassure you every day of your life you donโ€™t need me you need therapy
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
It hits different when youโ€™re the one getting hit
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
What this place needs is more bees
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Just watching the neighbor rake all his leaves into my yard, you?
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Look when your girl is showing as typing for like three minutes but only sends โ€œokโ€ she is definitely not
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Hating yourself gets you nowhere. Believing in yourself can get you anywhere
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Save money on your heating costs by setting yourself on fire
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
My sex tape is just me rubbing the sixth coat of wax into a Trans Am with t-tops
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Isnโ€™t it funny how some people had no idea of the shit poor people go through
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Sexualize everything ~Twitter
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
People on Twitter all pissed off somebody stole their tweets, motherfucker half of that shit was already on t-shirts
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
Maybe reconsider using โ€œimmaโ€ if youโ€™re middle-aged and white
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Donโ€™t tell me what kind of love I deserve ok. I can make my own mistakes
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Cougar ladies will absolutely do that thing you like but also make you do it too so choose carefully
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Just because youโ€™re loud doesnโ€™t make you right
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Never date from here. Twitter is the bar where a person takes off the ring and hits on strangers.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Fuck your fax.
Tweet media one
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
America: it costs $1.25 to add a slice of cheese
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
If we like the same kind of music, I'd probably help you bury a body.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
I was bad, then I was good, and now my motives are questionable.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
15 days
@RosieCotton100 I donโ€™t think half the country understands how right of way works tbh
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
Weโ€™re not shaming you. Weโ€™re saying youโ€™re a goddamn idiot
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Fuck today. Sobriety is OVER.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
Late at night I put on my headphones and let music save me another day.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 months
@historyrock_ Love this. That kid will keep playing and keep rock alive
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
So you donโ€™t agree with me. Guess what? You also donโ€™t need to fucking tell me either
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
4 years
What do people that put their last name in gothic letters on the back window of their truck want from us?
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
EVER GIVEN directions so bad you got stuck in the Suez Canal and fucked up export shipping in Europe?
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
2 years
Just want to get in the car and drive but twenty years ago
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
I traveled many miles but my thoughts stayed home with you.
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@JohnnyRiggs9
Johnny Riggs ๐ŸŠ
3 years
You can bet your ass the women are talking about you in the DM rooms if youโ€™ve shown yourself to be an internet creep
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