James Palmer @JJPalmer26 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

My king. You deserved so much more. Horrendously let down by people with just a fraction of your intelligence. Won’t find a better game played no matter how many times they run this show. What a man. #TheTraitors

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

“I’m 30.” “Wow, you look amazing.” “I’m 30.” “You look good, though.” Lads, she’s just turned 30, she hasn’t just walked out of the nursing home. Fucking hell. #loveisland

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 months

There are many things that I believe in life. Luke Littler being 16 years old is not one of them. This fella has a mortgage, four kids and has been grafting for 20 years. #WorldDartsChampionship

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

Fair play to Harry though. Think he’s just bagged an equaliser for men everywhere since we conceded an early goal in Golden Balls. #TheTraitors

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

8 years

Coleen Rooney worried about her kids listening to fans booing their dad.. Wait until they hear he shagged two whores when you were pregnant.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@matteohib94 She wrote his name down. It was there, they had it. I don’t think he could’ve gone too hard too early without making himself a target for murder. I think he played it perfect. Mollie was just some sort of emotional hostage all throughout the show.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 months

@lats96 Imagine your 16 year old daughter introducing him to you and he just stands there saying “I swear I’m 16” over and over while you go to call the police. Ah mate that’s proper spun me out, you can’t look like that in year 11 man. Fucking hell.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 months

Gladiators coming back tomorrow has got me thinking about the first true love of my life.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@petdoode He would’ve been murdered. He wouldn’t have convinced enough people to go against Harry that early.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@NoelRock 100%. He would’ve been sitting at home days before the final if he had done what they suggest. He absolutely nailed the approach, you just can’t account for somebody ignoring literally every bit of evidence in front of their eyes and voting against you. Great game.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

@richardosman

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

“Rohypnol was found in the glass and Carson’s semen was found in the victim’s anus… The jury believed the suspect and he was found ‘not guilty’.” And people wonder why the general public have such little faith in this country’s justice system. #24hoursinpolicecustody

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

8 years

Ergh, Piers Morgan is trending and it isn't because he's been mauled by a pack of rabid dogs. Disappointing news to start the day.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

“After discussions between the players, managers, police, the premier league, and Sky TV, the decision has been made to postpone the game as nobody wants to miss the Line of Duty finale.” #MUNLFC

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@Ellie_Angharad The bit for me was nobody questioning why they wouldn't try and murder Harry again the following night after the "failed" attempt when he had the shield. He never looked bothered about not winning a shield and never looked surprised about surviving. Literally nobody questioned it

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

Is anybody genuinely surprised that a team full of people actually convicted of cheating need to resort to cheating once more to get the job done? #Ashes23 #BBCCricket

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

£15 million earned, world champion, 90,000 people chanting your name and Louisa Johnson waiting to nosh you in the changing room. #ManLikeAJ

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Watched #HuntingPaedophiles last night. One man got 8 years for messaging young girls and sending videos. Another got 3 years for taking sex toys and cable ties to a meet up with a 13 year old. And yet you “could” get ten years for breaking Covid travel rules. System is fucked.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

I’ve been switching between the Newcastle, Sheffield Wednesday and West Ham games and managed to miss all nine goals. Lovely. Top sport.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

9 years

@paddypower Freddo. 10p to 65p... Need I say more... #TwoFootTackle http://t.co/ITkHkXzRxH

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@cherrymaldo @matteohib94 He got it down to where he had to convince just one person with a huge catalogue of evidence to back it up. He metaphorically took the dog to the grass in the middle of the woods and the dog somehow found its way back inside. There was no upside for Mollie for voting for Jaz.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

If you've watched the City game over the Luton v Oxford match, you're doing football all wrong. Class game, this.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

8 years

Nothing would please me more than seeing someone sink Bob Geldof's boat right now. Would love to see the moody fuck swimming in the Thames.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

She’s absolutely perfect. I’ve never been more in love. Never been more proud. Never been more scared. Today is the best day of my life and it’s not even close. I think we’ll be here for a few days yet but, for the first time ever, this hospital is a place of happiness for me.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Mike Tindall wearing his medals for services to drinking pints of piss. Fair play.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Therese Coffey all over the place here. So we are supposed to believe that: 1) Sending people to Rwanda is so good and it will make their lives better. AND 2) Sending people to Rwanda is so bad that it will deter people from attempting to get here. Absolute fucking shambles.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@DMallabone I wanted him to get Evie onside first but judging by what she said after, I don’t think she would’ve gone for Harry. But as soon as she goes Mollie has to realise Harry is lying. Still, Jaz got down to where he had to convince only one person. His gameplan works 99% of the time.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Hardly surprising but I’m a bit dismayed that both the Fury and Joshua camps have decided to hold the fight in Saudi for the money. They had the chance to fight at Wembley in a fight that this country would have spoken about for 100 years. Now it’s just another heavyweight fight.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

8 years

Are people actually still crying over the referendum result? Do these people genuinely not have things to do in their lives? #marchforeurope

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

West Ham spending millions upon millions on decent players to play alongside Mark Noble. Like buying a Gucci belt for your George by Asda jeans.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 months

Kyle Walker after being denied a penalty #MCICHE

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Imagine scoring in the 2nd minute and then deciding to set your team up to sit back stupidly deep and invite pressure for the next 88 minutes. And the commentators are saying that we’ve only just lost our way?!? We’ve been utter shit and that stems from the manager.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

A bloke collapsed on the 18th at golf today. Had no pulse for 18 minutes. Surgeon on board the police helicopter got dropped straight to him and, along with the paramedics, managed to bring him back and stabilise him. Miracle workers, the lot of them.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Feel genuinely fucking sick watching this. Those poor boys. This cunt better get sent down at the end of this.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Amazing that Adama Traore has made it as a professional footballer despite possessing absolutely nothing but blistering pace. He cannot do anything else even to an average standard. All fart, no poo.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

Having to issue a statement that Zaha has never met Moyes’ daughter after Evra suggested he had gone balls deep back in the day is the moment of the season and it won’t be topped. Fucking phenomenal. Charge me whatever you want, Sky, you’ve earned it.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

CWS always with the perfect picture.

Cold War Steve

@coldwarsteve

3 years

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

Whoever came up with that Rhodri Giggs idea for the Paddy Power advert deserves a knighthood. Absolutely incredible.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

That Pete bloke from towie is a Grade A cunt. What a fucking helmet. #celebrityisland

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

Friday mood:

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

How has the starter managed to get Justin Thomas’ name wrong? He’s one of the best players in the game ffs.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Embarrassing to see the reaction of some people to the strikes. “Rail workers earn more than me already.” The Tories have instilled such a poverty mentality in people that they’d rather moan about others fighting for better conditions than bother improving their own circumstances

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

Me right now vs me in 24 hours time. See you, bye.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Broken leg? Footage stopped. Streaker/pitch invader? Footage stopped. Heart attack and potential death? Nahhhh keep those cameras rolling. Makes sense

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

10 years

FootGolf Odds... http://t.co/x4Qwu31QCA

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

About to drop the hottest album of 2019. #ThugLife

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

One year ago tonight... #DroppedTheHottestAlbumOf2019

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

I think I speak for all non-Geordies when I say that seeing them get relegated this season would be the best thing to happen to English football since ‘66.

Rory Smith

@RorySmith

3 years

Newcastle have a new songbook. B-sides include “who the fuck are PSG” and “Saudi Mags.”

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

So let me get this straight. Harry pretends that they tried to murder him one night, doesn’t fret about not winning a shield all day, and then doesn’t act surprised about not being murdered the next day. And yet nobody is questioning this? This guy is one lucky fuck. #TheTraitors

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

8 years

@Nigel_Farage @fishingforleave Do us all a favour, please, and sink Geldof's boat. Cheers.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Someone’s just dropped a tenner on the pitch at Goodison Park…

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

Thanks to everyone who come along last night, you beautiful people. Turning 30 ain’t too bad when surrounded by you lot. Much love. Xx

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

Typical Palmer, greedy for the beer... #TheManTed

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Well it’s been an emotional 17 years or so but I’m happy to announce my retirement from drinking spirits. I clearly am no longer able to drink like I’m 23 years old anymore so it’s time to stop acting like it. Thank you for all of your support at this time.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Arsenals worst team for 20 years v Spurs best team for 60 years. 2017 - 2022 Trophies: Arsenal: 2 FA Cups Spurs: Nil Thanks for the six points, lads, much appreciated. Didn’t get out of second gear in either game this season. See you next year. We’ve got super Mik Arteta.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

“I know what one it is… the one who looks like she’s had about 700 drinks, bro…” Kyrgios, you box office hero.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

There were a lot of Spurs fans out there who just ten weeks ago thought they could win the league with Eric Dier at the heart of their defence. These people are allowed to breed and vote. #Dangers

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

Four years to the day since possibly the greatest night out in history. #GotWeighedIn #StillBecomeTheOnlyTwoTimeChampThough #WhereDidGoldustGo @GeorgePalmerr @tcarroll91 @Chadwick_91 @Alfie_Hines

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

Talking about how Lindsey flies off the handle at me sometimes even when she knows she’s in the wrong... “You know, you can do that when you’re the better looking one in the relationship. Sadly for you, you’ll never know what it’s like.” How’s everyone else’s lockdowns going?

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 months

Drop the most iconic photo of you

Laura Kirk-Francis

@LauraKirk12

7 months

Drop the most iconic photo of you

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

Mo Farah gets his performance enhancement from Quorn, not drugs. Remember that, kids, it’s definitely not drugs. Nope. Never. Nooooo drugs there.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

One year old already, absolute madness how quickly it’s gone. Few more and I’ll have myself my own personal chauffeur/retirement plan/someone to take me to Arsenal.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

13 weeks until Lindsey becomes the happiest woman on the planet.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

The absolute best. Impossible to explain some of the things he did with a football.

Fanzine Football

@Fanzine_com

5 years

#OTD in 1995, Dennis Bergkamp made his debut for the club. Thierry on why Dennis is the best player he’s played with: “Why? Because he was always doing what the game was asking him to do...He could score but he could pass at the right moment.“ #AFC

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

“You’re a fireman? Do you have a uniform?” No, love, he runs into fires in tracksuit bottoms and a hoody. You fucking clown. #LoveIsland

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Love it @TeamalfieGolf

Challenge Tour

@Challenge_Tour

3 years

The @alf1e_p fan club is out in full force 🤣 #RolexGrandFinal

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

One year ago today already. Mad how quick it has gone.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

Less than 24 hours until @GeorgePalmerr gets married. If you listen really, really closely, you can hear Harry getting ready to begin writing his speech. Let’s hope this one isn’t made up entirely of events that only happened in Harry’s head... #PreparationIsOverratedInHisWorld

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

How the fuck is this the best version? How do you stumble over words on a pre-recorded message and still send it out. Fucking tragic.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

Imagine not wanting Tiger to win because he slung it up a couple of hundred sloots in his prime... the man is the fucking GOAT. Long live King Tiger.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

@glebefootball Ailish Braddick. Heart of the club for 15 years. @lpembo20 . The reason why so many youth teams were so successful. The Williams family. Won more London Cups than most clubs put together.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

Me trying to copy the girls dancing to Saturday Night at every school disco in 1998.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

@LewisMac_ Truly, truly disgusting. That was such a harrowing hour of tv.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

Hahahahahahahahahaha this lunatic girl on First Dates Hotel is killing me. Absolute fruitcake.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

United currently putting in the most disgraceful performance Cyprus has seen since Billy Dale crawled naked like a bulldog up Ayia Napa strip.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

The last few weeks have been unbelievable. From the stag do, to the wedding and then the honeymoon, this period has been fucking phenomenal. Getting married has been brilliant, you have to do it. Even if you can’t stand your missus, you have to experience it, it’s fucking class.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

Best in the world

Conor Moore

@ConorSketches

4 years

Academy Awards Preview with @mcconaughey , @rickyjervais and more!

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Takeaways from the game: 1) Tavares is an awful defender. Truly awful. 2) Xhaka is a massive player for us. 3) Soares is terrible. 4) Fernandes is still a fraud. 5) Ronaldo is still a sex offender. 6) We were rubbish today and got away with it. 7) We’ve got Super Mik Arteta

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Rob James being outed a day after Gordon Elliot. Can’t say I’m surprised, purely because of Rule of Life number 4: “You cannot trust anybody who has two first names, they are likely to be a cretin.” John Terry, David Cameron, Piers Morgan... The list is endless.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

“Why are you talking back to me as if you’re the better looking one in the relationship?” My wife, 2021.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

Alex Iwobi might well be the most clueless person I’ve ever seen in the final third of a football pitch. Looks at a football the same way a virgin looks at a vagina for the first time. Fucking. Clueless.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

Watching some show on Netflix. Me: “He is butters. Looks like the bottom of my foot.” Lindsey: “He sort of looks like you, actually.” @BorisJohnson any fucking danger of ending this lockdown for me?

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

2 years

Luca is the strangest fella in the world. What a possessive little insecure prick. #LoveIsland2022 #loveisland

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@MaxBancroft2 @tluck @Breeno79 @NoelRock Jaz isn’t voting to banish again if he’s the one traitor left. If he’s one of two traitors left then Mollie loses either way. If they’re all faithfuls then Mollie gets an extra £16k. There is zero added value for her voting for Jaz, just “honour” of not banishing a “mate”.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

3) She started massaging my arse. In front of the wife. Barely had time to process what was happening before she slapped the Walls of Jericho on me and tried making my toes touch my neck. Any thoughts of a happy ending turned to hoping to keep all limbs attached.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

9 years

Every part of me hopes that Thomas becomes a supervillain. The world needs a proper evil genius. #ChildGenius

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

Ready for the new season…

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

Damian Green is getting pummelled on GMB here. On the verge of tears.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

4 years

Watching the Arsenal match. Lindsey’s in tears at the Leeds mascot. Give it 20 minutes and I’ll be in tears at our defending. Happy Sunday.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

First taste of #ChildGenius this year. Michael’s mum is battling William’s mum for the title of “Most Unbearable Cunt 2019.”

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@MaxBancroft2 @tluck @Breeno79 @NoelRock But there’s no upside to voting for Jaz there. Not one positive. She went with her heart instead of her head and she paid the price. £48k worth.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

Holy shit, Richard Madeley is interviewing someone on #GMB and isn’t the unbearable twat for once. This protester needs locking up for his own safety. The cunt just compared himself to Winston Churchill. And now he’s stormed off hahahaha. What a cunt.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

5 years

Fair play to the copper who pulled the trigger. Potentially saved a lot of lives and damage. Had to be done.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 years

Lindsey to me: “You look like an ugly lesbian.” Can’t wait to get married.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

3 years

RIP the GOAT

Dave Mathieson

@davemathieson84

3 years

Today would have been Karl Fletcher’s 50th birthday! The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be. Harchester United forever. 🐉💜

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

6 months

@jmpschooley @cherrymaldo @matteohib94 The final choice whether to end the game or not alone is all you need. There’s literally not one positive to voting for Jaz in that spot. You can’t account for other people’s stupidity in that moment and would work 99% of the time. As soon as Evie goes, Harry has to be a traitor.

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

What a season. That first minute against Liverpool. That last minute against United. That rocket by Partey and that strike by Nelson. That early realisation that we’re definitely top two in the country and that late realisation we’re currently a distant second. What a season #AFC

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

7 years

My cab driver's name is how I say @Chris_Murphy04 when I'm ludicrously intoxicated. #SlurryWords

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James Palmer

@JJPalmer26

1 year

This has Nagelsmann to Chelsea, beating Madrid and then facing Bayern in the semis written all over it.

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