My most buzzkill opinion is that we should have very strict packaging and labling regulations for anything poisonous or with deadly nightshade in it. Dragons' breath should be better labeled, too.
“kill them with kindness” WRONG. SNEAK ATTACK
🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🥷🏿🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🔪🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪🔪🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🥷🏿🔪🔪
Hehe woops. Cast my most powerful reanimaton spell without waiting for the summer solstice. Now everything that ever died, rotted, and became dirt is screaming.
Almost died today.
A robber came into my keep with a loaded crossbow and aimed at me.
Luckily, I am a fucking warlock and I have eldrich blast
His mangled body fell down four flights of stairs damaging his body beyond resurrection. Thank Patron. 🙏📷
Almost died today.
A robber came into my house with a loaded gun and aimed at me.
Luckily, I had 13 various weapons enchanted with dancing.
The blades and points embedded themselves into his skull. Thank God 🙏📷
This is why it is always a good practice to make your creations infertile. A homunculus of mine broke free a few months back, and I'm still putting down hog-men to this day.
Came across this dude on my way to the markets. His shoe was untied. I informed him of this and when he went to tie his shoe he just died.
Anyway, meet my new zombie butler.
I cannot remember the last time I saw an elf in the enchanted forest. Do we even have those anymore?
I've seen countless humans, halflings, and gnomes, but no elves.
By the gods, I nearly forgot! My wand. A simple construction made from mostly mundane materials, with a leather wrapped grip done by my lovely bog witch GF. Beneath the wrap are runes of power, granting the wielder great strength and endurance.
The Wizard's addiction to pondering must be studied. I've yet to meet a wizard or sorcerer that wasn't hooked on pondering. I've been invited to wizards towers just to ponder.
Some wizards are proclaiming that mana is stored in the balls. This is preposterous. We're that truly the case, then sure more witches and hags would want to be with me.
It doesn't matter that this says unfiltered poison right on it in huge letters. It looks like a stamina potion. I think we need a different shape or something for poisonous brews.
Perhaps my attraction towards evil women is unhealthy? No, that would never be the case.
Anyway, I'm off to burn down a village to appease the bog hag.
It's weird how in most Greek myths, Hades is the only God who is both faithful and loving to his wife, Persephone. Yet this is the statue you find when you look them up.
In honor of Spooky month, I have begun to copy practices from old texts I found on the campus library. These fellas are the perfect hybrid between a suit of possessed armor and a reanimated skeleton. I love them to bits!