Mark Primiano @Doctor1Hundred Twitter profile

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Mark Primiano

4 years

Have you ever been close to tragedy or close to folks who have? Have you ever felt the pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse? I'm attorney Peter Francis Geraci.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

I'm only half-joking when I say they should recruit vets to help give the vaccine. On any given vaccine clinic day, I can get 60+ patients done in 2 hours, and that's patients trying to bite me.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

When I say everyone at the shelter adores Stephen, I mean it. The work Slack is full of pictures of him.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

There is never a bad time for "Bulletproof" by La Roux

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@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

Soccer is such a popular sport worldwide because the only equipment you need is one ball and yet here in America we've turned playing it into something bafflingly expensive.

Zach Lowy

@ZachLowy

4 months

US Soccer will never be a successful program as long as they continue to ignore the nation’s most talented players and prioritize the players whose parents can afford travel fees, tournament registration, summer camps and everything else involved in the sham that is youth soccer.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

My vet school had an injured baby zebra my first year. To feed it students had to wear a zebra print snuggie or it would bite at them.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

It absolutely sucks that the push for a four day work week is four ten hour days and not four eight hour days. It's not any better working the same amount over fewer days!

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

1 year

If owned an Italian restaurant, in October I would change the menu to say "fettucine afraido" and "garlic dread" and "boocatini". I would go out of business, but it would be worth it.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

You guys wanna see a ridiculous cat?

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 months

Belly belly belly

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

She screams and screams until I give her a tiny kiss on the noggin. 3 seconds go by and the screaming returns.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

I'll burn days off to help get this job done. I'll take second shifts on days I work for the greater good. Tag us in. Get this thing going.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

The resemblance is uncanny.

Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

He is officially named Dr. P.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

Meet Icy.

Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

You guys wanna see a shockingly beautiful kitten we have at the shelter right now?

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

The voice actor of Jimmy Pesto Sr from Bob's Burgers took part in the January Insurrection is such a weird sentence to be able to type.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

Humongous Fungus (I have no idea who named her that) loves the sink.

Tetralogy of Fallout: New Vegas

@_parasocial

7 months

@Doctor1Hundred sink sister is perfect where she is leave her alone!!!

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

6 months

She didn't file her taxes in time and is now in jail.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

@floozyesq If someone was going to pay me millions of dollars to hangout with my friends in nice locations, why the hell would I turn them down?

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Back at the start of this, Illinois sent out an all hands on deck thing for medicos of any type. Not quite a draft but more or less one. We signed up. We're ready. We're waiting.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 months

I remember having to fill out paperwork at tryouts freshman year in high school that was asking what teams I had played for over the previous four years. I was 14 years old!

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

I don't think the earlier picture quite conveyed just how big Theo is. He is a truly massive cat. An absolute unit.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

The toddler next door has figured out that he can come to the gate and loudly demand to see our dog and I will happily cave and let him in.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

10 months

The amount of mileage I've gotten as a doctor out of quoting Dr. Spaceman.

america's lounge singer

@KrangTNelson

2 years

greatest television character of all time

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

These two sisters keep headbutting each other for my attention and I'm very flattered by their behavior.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

Jon Stewart built his career as a savvy political mind off being smarter than George W Bush which is a lot like folks thinking you're great at basketball because you can dunk on a Fisher-Price hoop.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

I am baffled that Cash, the C.R.E.A.M. of our adoptable cat crop, remains unadopted.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

You're trading being able to do anything after work on week days for an extra day off. If you work a job that actually involves physically doing anything, you're too tired on that extra day off to do anything.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 months

I did not think I would ever experience this right in my neighborhood.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Maned wolves are sweet as puppies. And then they grow up.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Fullgrown pythons are delightful. Just docile giant muscle noodles.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

It is illegal and immoral to not remove the crusties from your cat's eyes.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

2 months

This is a person in Evanston talking about a thunderstorm. Your suburb and fancy street are not immune to thunderstorms!

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@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

The kittens are: Crochet, Knit, Embroider, Macrame, and Quilt.

Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

The mom is Joann and her babies are all various craft projects and I am giggling up a storm about it.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Your quarantine name is your regular name. You just haven't heard anyone call you by it in a long time.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Bobcats and wallabies are exactly what you'd expect. Hyenas are at least twice as big as you'd think they are. They are fucking terrifying.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

What are some other animals I can tell you what they are really like? All poultry are incredibly dumb. Like, turn off the lights and they fall asleep dumb.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Pardon me, but I have died and am now in the heaven of tiny orange bois.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

As promised!

Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

If we reach $2,200 by the time I'm out of surgery this afternoon, I will take these kittens to a room so they can run around and post video on here of it (if they aren't adopted first).

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Most wild animals are dangerous but pretty dumb. Apes are easily the number one exception.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Look at this absurd beast. Just a ridiculous creature.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

@floozyesq The only truly illegal thing about it is how cool that would make him.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Coackatoos can be powdery sweethearts.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

Check out the cheeks on Tiny Tim.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Someone come adopt Smidge and Smudge as a duo.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

I start every shift with a lap around the shelter to pet animals. I technically call this "rounds" but it is absolutely not medical.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

The Prince of Bad Ideas.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

2 years

The defining image of her era to me.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Foxes are very tiny. Coyotes are pretty tiny too. Both are cowards.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Cheetahs are tremendous cowards.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

2 months

We love a mom proud of her babies.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Look at this thing. It will grow up to be over 100 lbs!

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Burmese pythons are great to share with friends.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

Stephen loves holidays and is helpful.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Hedgehogs are grumpy. Don't own one.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Goats kick ass.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Desert tortoises are surprisingly fast.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Softshell turtles are complete jerks. Rude fellas with no semblance of matters.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Capuchins are great.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Raptors are difficult but you wouldn't expect anything else from nature's perfect death machines.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

It's a Maker's Mark bottle sweater apparently.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 months

Mom and baby have equal amount of thoughts.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Peacocks are what you'd expect.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

Stephen wants to wish all those celebrating a happy Hanukkah.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

The orange boi brigade just got moved to the adoption floor.

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@Doctor1Hundred

9 months

Left my stethoscope in the car and it is now frozen in this shape.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 months

Henson's Creature Shop knocked it out of the park on this one.

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@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

This is one of my old classmates Trent. He is one of the nicest human beings I have ever met and someone I legitimately admire.

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@Doctor1Hundred

6 months

We apparently have a litter of kittens named after white collar crimes. Meet Identity Theft.

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@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

Felicity could fly away with those ears.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

So much of being a vet is rough and not great but then you walk into a room and meet something like this and you just laugh for like an hour straight thinking about it.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

1 year

Babies cry on planes because they know that if god had meant for us to fly, we would have been given wings. They weep for our hubris.

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@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Just kidding. Vultures are scary as hell.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

8 months

A cool double standard I get to enjoy is that unlike most doctors, it is not frowned upon when I kiss my patients.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

Tegus are cool when you get over being afraid they might eat you.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

5 years

This thread is rapidly becoming "watch Mark's hair get more grey". I'm okay with it.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

2 years

One of the techs signed his cast.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Few people have ever been more full of shit than the jerks who tried claiming constellations actually look like what they are named after.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

@JakeMHS I wish I could take credit for this but it wasn't me. That being said, he is the most chill kitten ever.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Floor party!

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

My cats have obtained gainful employment at the Getting Kissed on Their Tiny Heads Factory and business is boomin.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

There is nothing complicated or nuanced about it. The cops murdered a 13 year old kid and then the Mayor proceeded to cover it up and lie about it to the public for weeks.

Lauren Jiggetts

@laurenjiggetts

4 years

Lightfoot on Toledo case: “This remains a complicated and nuanced story.”

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Downstairs neighbor got a new boyfriend and I am neighborhood dad judging the hell out of him.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

7 months

Milo and his Lambchop are looking for a foster parent to live with until he is big enough for surgery. Is it you?

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

If the concept of total student loan forgiveness makes you mad, you're just a bad person. It's as simple as that.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

2 years

The Rural Juror has decided to retire to Boca.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

CUDDLESQUAD!

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

1 year

@eeberquist Big part of why I still grab as much physical media as I can.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

Baseball is important because it reminds us that there is no god and that nothing is fair.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

4 years

The best part of the pandemic has been becoming best friends with a 2.5 year old whose main interests involve my dog and pretending to water our backyard.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred

3 years

A neat thing about Love is Blind is that it is now almost impossible for me to ever become Chicago's least liked male veterinarian.

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Mark Primiano

@Doctor1Hundred