Nick Simmonds @Diacritic Twitter profile

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 days

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 years

If you delete the word "of" from most D&D magic items, it sounds like you're naming jazz musicians: Boots Elvenkind, Bag Holding, Ray Enfeeblement, etc.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@CashLydia I saw a job once that required 10 years of Active Directory experience in 2008. Active Directory was released with Windows 2000.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@karampbell @AmberSevart One time as an email server admin I quietly introduced a rule to drop all email marked as "urgent" and for a few weeks no one even noticed because none of it mattered at all.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@_robotshane This isn't just them screwing over your niece, it's literal wage theft and it's a crime. If they hadn't "had a change of heart" they could go to jail over this.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@skippity_doo @dsquintana Sorry but I think your duck is a raven.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 month

@BrandyLJensen It's a good thing he included things like the abusive boyfriend and the fact that she's a dancer, those are important to the ethical analysis of denying her medical care.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@_robotshane If you have a 15 year old work for you the minimum you can legally pay them is $4.25 an hour or you can *go to jail*, even if it's an informal agreement that you're reneging on.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

12 days

@girldrawsghosts Also he knows how this movie goes, from the first moment. He basically says "you're dead and I am also dead because I will be trying to prevent your death, we are walking corpses" and then he tries anyway but he knows it's doomed.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 month

@focusfronting We're queering missionary straight sex

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

Being bisexual is so great. You can be wrong about a hot person's gender and when they correct you you don't have to question anything about yourself.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 months

@TheWapplehouse I've been paying this one out of pocket to live in my head

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@focusfronting I really thought you were calling him an egg at first

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@La_Tarasque @brainoscience @dsquintana This is scissors

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

17 days

Giggly is a Harvard-educated software engineer who likes pokemon and games on twitch occasionally, while being conventionally attractive. This is breaking the minds of men all over the internet, they cannot conceive of this. It's honestly hilarious content.

giggly ♡

@xgigglypuff

18 days

Yall know I graduated from Harvard with a dual degree in computer science and psychology and that I work as a software engineer now, right??

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

I made this flowchart over a decade ago and it has never stopped being relevant.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@OccultOperator @6syzygy It's not surface level, she's figuring out what's under the sphinx.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@blgtylr That woman is about to write an extremely polite and perfectly punctuated email that will take the head off the person who reads it.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@RachelMComedy It's very progressive of them to take up some of the burden of discussing gender roles, traditionally considered a feminine task. I hope they're congratulating themselves.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 year

@MNateShyamalan This is the last boss Scott Pilgrim has to defeat in the future when he tries to date Swift and has to fight her exes.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 years

Apparatus the Crab is a 90s alt band though

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 year

@baddestmamajama

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@LouisatheLast I still love this response when this male interviewer wouldn't stop pressing her about her diet for the Batman movie.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@Utwitily 8.69565217 × 10^30, roughly one solar mass of tacos, just to watch the earth collapse and the Sol system finally become the binary system it should be before I die.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@steamyporkbuns It's fascinating how often people on this site act like the rest of us are involved in whatever conversation they were already having in their head. Like, look, Lena, what part of this was about groceries? Do you just complain about anyone who ever uses the train?

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@StephDRondeau I would walk out of the application process because they have some bizarre boojum woo idea of how to assess employees.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@brianphillips The real reason founders don't deserve to be rich is they were almost universally born rich. The main qualification to be a founder isn't technical talent, it's the ability to take no salary in favor of equity.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

11 months

@powerbottomdad1 @bdebone2 Maybe Musk should one day start one, too.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 years

I can't believe no one has pointed out that Ray of Enfeeblement isn't an item yet.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 days

@ContraPoints If you listen to him talk, it's all about fertility and genetic legacy in his eyes. He considers himself to have lost a son because he cares about children only as vehicles for his own genes.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@legendary191744 @saur_ML @bookybook5050 @NekroTheDhampir @whygodpleaseno The point of a litmus test is that it immediately and readily tells two things apart that otherwise aren't easy to distinguish. It has to be definitive, easy, and the difference has to be unclear before it.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@dancingofpens The thing that always sticks with me about this movie is that they paddleboated to a paintball date and the soundtrack was a Semisonic deep cut. Nothing about that scene is sane. They make out with a bunch of gasoline tanks as the backdrop.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@lopemac @pjayevans No you don't.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@GaryHatch @mykola Wow this is definitely nothing

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@beartrapbrennan ░B░R░E░N░N░A░N░I░N░B░I░O░

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 month

@d_feldman The SF programmer also probably makes 4x what the Midwest one does

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@transhuman @sudo_science @verrice @imrlyahousecat @karampbell @AmberSevart If you mark your birthday planning emails urgent I'm not upset if they don't get through.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@baddestmamajama "I'm smart because I think a notoriously beautiful woman is attractive"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 year

@ThatSamWinkler Microwave companies want you to think their microwaves are easy to use and popcorn companies want you to have the best possible popcorn so you keep buying their popcorn.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@nikitabier New York City is a city, it is not a theme park. Normal people should in fact be able to live in cities.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@ASocialistWitch @CashLydia Yeah, a lot of tech jobs have a list of requirements that's just "every program I've ever heard of" with a years of experience requirement. Which means no one applies except people who already know that and know the requirements list is fake.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@cisgenderhaver Do we? I can't keep up with all the things I'm supposed to hate.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@Rick3y_Bobby @LegendAriee16 No one. This professor isn't paying this kind of attention, they're using bullshit algorithms to detect these things.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@yhdistyminen I feel like everyone is talking at cross purposes here because eggs *are* excessively expensive, but it's because the egg producers have been acting as a cartel. They *just* lost a lawsuit about this!

Egg suppliers ordered to pay $17.7 million by federal jury for price gouging in 2000s

The jury ruled last week that the egg producers used various means to limit the domestic supply of eggs to increase the price of products during the 2000s.

www.cbsnews.com

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@JennyENicholson "I don't even know who you are." "You will."

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@MadelineOnMars People hate Chapo because the Chapo people are actually bad people who do bad things, and they are fake leftists who are in it for the clout and not a damn thing else. Not disagreeing with you, I just cannot stand these folks.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@paulkrugman This is so gross, and you're doing it to justify a bad tweet that you could have just apologized for. Don't use Black people to justify a mistake you made.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 months

This sort of thing is why I get furious with people who make shit up about the IDF to get mad about. None of the shit you made up is worse than this and it just made it harder to point out hard evidence credibly.

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@revhowardarson

7 months

it is fucking crazy that the IDF is out here with video of a drone pilot killchain which requires him to get approval from a superior _not to fire on children_

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@LinkofSunshine Best part is then saying this later in the same thread

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 years

@bamelendez12 okay but I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO RUIN MINE BRANDON

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@HelloAndrew @_robotshane The federal law includes up to six months of prison even if state laws don't, and the more restrictive law applies. That said, as of AB 1003 the CA law does in fact provide for up to 3 years in prison if prosecutors go after them.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 months

@diyfieri Of all the brilliant bits of this, my favorite is that some number will open the group and see a minion meme and assume it's real. And then if we're very lucky some number of those will try to jump into the RP

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@lizzywol It's weird to use "pro-choice activist" as a reason to be skeptical of someone when it means all you know about them is that they're right about something.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@steamyporkbuns @FreddyDans The way she butted into your thing and then acted like you were rude when you were like "actually this is about something else entirely"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 years

@growlbiscuit @AmyKSays @MichelleLoserby @sarahcpr Well yeah, why would you *wear clothes* to *iron clothes*, it just doesn't make sense.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@post_twinkism If someone throws a word at me out of a passing car it's mine now.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@bellachu10 "Deadly fixed object" is such a fascinating framing. The fixed object isn't deadly. It's just sitting there, lots of people walk past it perfectly safe all the time. It's the moving object that kills.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

8 months

@moshik_temkin This is probably why they keep doing that.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@JarJarAbramss @HuoBambino Gosh I hope it was directed and written by feminists, those are exactly who should be writing and directing this.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@__RiseAgain__ "She'd never say" based on what portrayal? This could be lifted straight from the movies and Wednesday is even more explicitly not white in the comics.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@prageru @YouTube @michaeljknowles Enjoy losing in court

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@lilsmichelle Eh, it's just important that you came eventually.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

10 months

@katiedimartin Imagine making up a fake superpower for yourself and then talking about it in public and it's "I can see cars without turning my head" then NOT dying of embarrassment.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@revhowardarson "Sure we put an innocent woman in jail for life after tormenting her for years, and we're still doing it, unapologetically, but you guys listen to podcasts sometimes"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@jdcmedlock This language is so tortured I had to read it several times and then go find another site to confirm that the UAW *is* striking over the way that their union members were treated for protesting but this person doesn't think their strike is morally pure enough.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@ryxcommar It is hilarious that a major tenet of conservative discourse is "cities are terrifying hellholes full of violence and robbery and living there makes you a weak little baby", like some reverse Herbert theory.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@BakugouMaraj @itswondy @drewpandasays Am I think only one who thinks it's weird that Pornhub would sell clothes? Seems off brand.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 months

@theashleyray Absolute own goal. I don't know who there doesn't like Roy Wood Jr. but they must hate him more than not having money.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

9 days

@jdcmedlock Still on brand

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@verrice @imrlyahousecat @karampbell @AmberSevart I only got caught because someone's birthday party planning got discarded

Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 years

@JshRbnsn It was indeed. I set it to discard any message with the "high priority" flag set. It took people weeks to notice because literally none of those emails mattered. Only got caught because someone's birthday party planning emails didn't go through.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@RVAporkchop @zzzzaaaacccchhh @G33kOfAllTrades Unironically this would change some laws

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@lunarkid91 @pokIina @UltiRL Sam's dad is Robert Reich, who was labor secretary under Clinton. They're not really wealthy and he didn't have *that* much money but yeah he does come from real privilege.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@SwiftOnSecurity I can't tell you how many servers with massive drive redundancy I've seen go down because all the drives were the same age so they all failed together.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@a_art_gremlin @FEELTHEBERN1924 @Big_Chillin_Tho @RaxKingIsDead @wizardishungry I hear it works as a suppository

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@polisigh_ @MNateShyamalan Someone's never had pickled melon rind.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@IwriteOK Something I love about Fallout 76 is that the raider faction, who draw clear inspiration from Mad Max (as have raiders since the first game), turn out to be a bunch of rich berks who were staying at a ski resort when the bombs fell and immediately started dressing like this.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

8 months

@EvanOutOfTen These folks don't care either way, they'd be mocking Claudia if she was doing nothing but wearing black and tearing her hair out, because the point is the mockery and cruelty and everything else is a smokescreen.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@revhowardarson It's important that the Democrats never get credit for anything that they do, this will convince them to do the right thing, which we will immediately punish them for again.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@ParkerMolloy First: declare that only peaceful protest is valid Then: Make "peaceful" mean only not protesting at all

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

You would think that "the Irish were slaves too", however false, would then be followed by "and so I feel a kinship with formerly enslaved peoples and will fight with everything I have for Black rights", if you really believed your ancestors went through something similar.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 months

@zachsilberberg That's sort of a return to form for the word, though.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 year

@BeijingPalmer What's truly bizarre is how many are Putin stans. Like that's not even worshipping the soviets, it's explicitly being a fan of a capitalist oligarch because he happens to be in a place where a communism kind of but not really happened.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 years

@slicksliding @Skylerhxc @comicfan1516 Yes this is why all fish are completely pale.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 months

@fuckyouiquit I hope nobody tells them that they quit and they just stop showing up to work without saying anything.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 years

@jasminericegirl @BubsBx I mean he won't even get to see the picture! Lil guy just doing Twitterless sis a solid.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@MNateShyamalan British: Oh good, he's so loud. Americans: YES GIVE US POSH GUY FIERI

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@NatalieZed Someone once said of me "dude looks like someone antifa would hire"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@_sadwaffle And by "a loss" this person means "not as much profit as I expected".

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 months

@revhowardarson I'd really love to have seen what a Sanders campaign that he staffed with an eye toward winning would look like, and not one that he seems to have staffed entirely out of spite.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 years

@HarrierMagnus "Hold off"? Didn't you charge a mob with a sword?

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@letthebliss Canonically in the future the Bene Gesserit and their successors call love something like "The Jessica Sin"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

7 months

@TempestPaige That's also 85% of purchases numerically and not by money spent. If a woman buys 85 groceries and a man 15 jet skis, she's made 85% of the "purchases" in that set.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@_SalmanAnwar Less powerful transphobes, who are less entrenched in all of our media. Not no transphobes, but way fewer and way less influential.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

6 months

@glassbeadsdev @IanColdwater In this case there really is, Lucky and Nara Smith are Mormons who make pretty explicit trad family Mormon-propaganda-with-hot-people videos.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

5 months

@revhowardarson "i absorb the flags of everyone I lose to in combat"

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 months

@IRHotTakes All of these people are acting like the Custodes have existed from time immemorial. The very existence of the Adeptus Custodes as an army is a much more massive retcon than saying some of them are women.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

4 months

@michael_wiebe Obviously because 5 people don't want 95 more people to live there and don't care where they do live.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@jdcmedlock You might be worried about bofa syndrome if you have two vaccines.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

3 years

@pattonoswalt I'm okay with banning phone books. It should be illegal to leave garbage on my porch once a year anyway.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

1 month

@jdcmedlock I don't know why these people think "I make $250,000 and can't figure out where all my money goes" is anything but saying that they are so bad at budgeting they should be institutionalized for their own safety.

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Nick Simmonds

@Diacritic

2 months

@virgil_30 This whole thread is just this person reading someone's complaint about the system, then repeating that exact complaint but couching it as a refutation

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