Denise G. Lee Profile Banner
Denise G. Lee Profile
Denise G. Lee

@DeniseGLee

1,350
Followers
62
Following
1,035
Media
11,361
Statuses

I talk frankly about how you can do your life better. 10+yrs learning cool stuff. Helped 47+ biz owners. 600+ podcast episodes on mental wellness.

Austin, Texas
Joined January 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
Since I got a bunch of new followers, I think an introduction is needed: My name is Denise G. Lee and I am life coach for business owners. I am here to share what I have learned about trauma and addictions to help everyone, including myself heal and live the life they were
3
0
27
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
Traumatized children often go the extra mile to meet the needs of others. This is a compensatory tactic that allows them to give others what they didn't receive while growing up. As a result, these individuals, as adults, are prone to being taken advantage of, especially in
18
233
1K
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc When you view someone as expendable or take them for granted, it is easy to view them less of a person and more of an object. Authentic love constantly affirms through healthy affection that each person is valid, important and necessary.
1
55
605
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Unrealistic expectations are unrealistic because one person in a relationship set a standard that the other person didn't even acknowledge or even agreed to! And at the end, each person is miserable with no remedy within sight.
5
37
480
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc For so many of us shame is deeply connected with our trauma. We already feel bad about what happened to us. Some of us even want to fault ourselves for "not knowing better." But reassurance, the action of removing someone's doubts or fears can makes us feel heard and safe.
1
58
447
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc The love you were given as a child becomes the love you tolerate as an adult unless you: -explore how your parents behavior impacted your view of others (especially in romantic relationships) -allow yourself the privilege of healing from emotional wounds -see how your parent's
3
58
433
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc As a child of family members who suffer from narcissist personality disorder, it was ESSENTIAL that I learned how to separate the wants of others from my need for safety and security. While it may seem foreign to some, time apart is the only way ALL family members can heal.
2
10
359
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Lots of folk need to be honest and say that they are addicted to the drama of conflict and pain. While it may be familiar to their family of origin, it is dangerous to growing a healthy, long-term romantic partnership.
6
20
345
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Its easy to avoid and deny emotional problems if you grew up watching your parents do it for the first 18 years of your life.
1
18
341
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc If you were raised in a pain-filled and dysfunctional family, it feels natural to shoulder on the pain from others. Mom is scared. Dad is angry. Everyone feels confused with how to handle their emotions. You become the "rock" for so long, you forgot that you were a child
6
27
271
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc When you are able to share all sides of yourself without sexual tension or expectation, it frees you to be able to be open and honest in others parts of your life. Besides, some of the best insights come from those who don't have an expectation of love or romance.
4
26
248
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Trying to connect with someone who is guarded emotionally is like trying to scale a metal wall with your bare hands. It is exhausting and makes you wonder if the time and effort is worth it.
7
26
245
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
9 months
@Theholisticpsyc People pleasing and managing perceptions start at home. If your mom/dad or whoever powerful person in your home ignores you or treats you bad when you don't behave the way they like, you learn super quick that safety comes through agreement and compliance. Then its get
7
13
200
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Prior to recovery I was extremely sensitive. When you grow up feeling constantly criticized for not measuring up, you get a little sensitive. People with unhealed trauma wounds don't get that all words aren't being used as verbal attack against them.
0
7
198
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
8 months
@Theholisticpsyc Being afraid of the reactions of people is NORMAL if you were raised in environments where you were only safe if you said what THEY (parents/teachers) needed to hear. Its sobering as an adult that not telling our perspective is just as harmful as lying about it.
3
16
166
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Some of us are so chronically stressed out, we think that feeling jumpy, edgy and anxious is NORMAL. Then we crash down from that exhausting overwhelm from our present and/or past. To add to the insanity, we punish ourselves by calling ourselves "lazy" or "unmotivated."
1
16
162
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
8 months
@Theholisticpsyc The emotionally immature parent or emotionally disabled parent is often the product of a disabled parent. It is a generational issue that involves unpacking DECADES of shame, self-pity, helplessness, inadequacy, doubt and (unrealistic) expectations of themselves and everyone
1
14
160
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@Theholisticpsyc All of us need some level of healing. Life can be traumatic and we all need to learn how to deal with loss and discomfort. Learning how to do that without being 100% emotionally dependent on others is KEY to living a satisfactory life.
1
21
146
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc When someone knows you, the real side of you - they can inadvertently use their knowledge to cause you to feel hurt, angry, insecure, frustrated - just to name a few. But here is the good news - we can use these triggering moments to understand our fears + irrational thoughts.
1
14
147
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Too many of us have or do suffer from anxiety, burnout, depression, just to name a few issues because we were so focused on taking care of others and not first prioritizing our own health and well-being.
3
13
143
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
Nobody wakes up one day and says, "Oh YES! I want to be addicted to (fill in the blank)." They do it to cope with pain insecurities fears shame abuse neglect hurt trauma Before we insult an addict, understand WHY they got addicted in the first place.
7
31
139
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc And sadly, too many us think that their anchor belongs in a: -career -life status -relationship -social media follower count -bank account Placing your whole sense of worth and meaning on finite and fickle things (which includes people) is a prescription for disaster.
3
10
142
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Behind passive aggression are unrealistic expectations. To demand others to always think and behave just like you is lunacy. Instead of confronting the faulty logic, they double down and use insults to ridicule others. Such people poison anything positive in the relationship.
1
12
146
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc The biggest fear of any narcissist is having to confront the feelings that they work SO HARD to avoid themselves. And in the process of trying to gaslight themselves from reality, a narcissist is desperate to have you discount your feelings and your perception of reality.
4
8
128
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@nate_postlethwt Toxic positivity enables shame-based behavior. It goes, "I should be grateful NO MATTER WHAT!" and then you feel even worse for discounting the harm that was caused to you. Then that shame creates a toxic pattern of isolation, self-loathing and self-destructive behavior.
5
17
123
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Birds of the same feather flock together. If you are feeling anxious, insecure and damaged - you will attract and stay with people who vibrate off that same energy. As you heal, you won't find depressing, aggressive or manipulative people appealing.
1
18
122
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc If you were raised in a terribly painful environment, it is natural to feel suspicious and pessimistic. While anxiety may feel normal, your body is constantly producing stress hormones, which ruins your T cells and can set you up for chronic illness or even cancer.
3
13
118
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc For me, my addiction was linked to intense shame. Shame that I wasn't worthy. Shame I wasn't good enough. And yes, I ran away or avoided that intense pain. I went towards people and things, which brought short comfort. It is never easy to confront your inner demons.
2
10
107
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Emotionally disabled parents lack the capacity to actually cherish what they desire the most. So when they do get it, it feels overwhelming. And unfortunately neither the child nor the adult feels satisfied emotionally - which is a perfect setup for intergeneration trauma.
3
5
109
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Love feel impossible if you constantly fear someone can take it away the moment you say or do the wrong thing.
1
13
110
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Some women carry deep emotional scars. As a result, they may turn become a misandrist, blaming all woes of the world due the men. And to make it worse, they attract men who reactivate the same wounds. Its not ALL men, it is us attracting the hurt that needs to be healed.
3
10
106
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@Theholisticpsyc As a recovering addict, I have found the fellowship of like-minded people in 12 step groups like AA,SA etc. really helped me break the lie that NOBODY GETS ME. Once we get together with people who speak RECOVERY, life doesn't feel so damn scary and bad.
1
5
104
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc I understand this so deeply. In the depths of my sexual addiction, I just wanted to talk to anyone with a pulse. And no matter how much I talked, it helped neither me nor them because I wasn't really interested in healing or their advice - I just wanted to offload some of the
2
3
99
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc If you were in a situation where you did not feel safe at a young age, anything or anyone can be a trigger. Panic & Suspicion is NORMAL. For many years, I couldn't relate to people because I assumed by default, it was a matter of time before they mistreated me.
2
5
97
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc While we don't need external validation, we also need to be mindful if our actions are hurting not just ourselves, but others. Too many us landed into codependency because we kept thinking, "But they need our help!"
2
10
95
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
@MindTendencies2 Trauma rocks our sense of identity and what is/isn't ours to own. The journey towards loving ourselves and giving people BACK what rightly belongs to them is the ultimate sign of not just healing, but loving everyone, including ourselves, as well.
2
18
93
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Nobody wants to admit the person who they married is emotionally damaged. This reflects poorly on their decisions making skills, discernment, emotional intelligence..just to state the obvious. Instead of confronting the cold hard truth, some people double down with a lie.
2
6
91
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Too many of us have lifted people up on pedestals. We made them god-like. So when they disappoint us (because they are human), it feels like a real blow to the gut for sure. For me, I really got my sense of power and calm back once I decided that I was going to prioritize my
1
8
93
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Being paranoid, anxious, and suspicious is NORMAL if you survived a hellish childhood. That's why I was so sarcastic and pessimistic for the majority of my 20s -mid 30s. It was safer to act that tough and mean than to admit I was scared. But that lifestyle doesn't have to
3
5
87
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc I talk to my inner child daily, I remind her that she is safe now. And I listen to her too. She has a voice that needs to be heard, not ignored. Thank you for this message Dr. Nicole. 💛
1
4
84
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc It was very hard to admit that I had low self-esteem and had narcissistic tendencies. At the height of my sex and alcohol addiction I really thought that people were out to get me and I was unlovable. Well, how can you love someone who is deeply focused on themself?
3
6
85
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc People who fall in love with someone's potential is like viewing them like a project. And they will quickly discover this "project" is over-budget and constantly behind schedule.
1
5
85
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@LisaJTidwell @Theholisticpsyc Some of us have been parents before we could even speak. We learned to quickly anticipate and react to our parents behavior. Any wonder why so many us feel so damn tired as adults. We spent our childhood caretaking others.
2
9
81
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Broken, emotionally disabled people will say and do anything for love. However, I don't think they don't want to make keep their commitments - the problem is that their fears and insecurities stop them from following through on their promises.
2
7
78
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc When you are so used to having things fall apart or taken away at any given moment - yeah, you aren't likely to have a pleasant mood most of the time. Healing requires examining all the disappointment and fears that you tried desperately to avoid.
2
4
81
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc The fact you are actually investing in yourself is growth. Don't ignore that. How much easier would it be to complain, avoid or just stay in negative energy wishing you were better or different?
0
3
78
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Some of us have been shamed by emotionally disabled parents. Crying, expressing fears - not allowed in a pain-filed home. So when we cry, unconsciously we fear being "disrespectful" to our parents training. No, tears are saying, "I respect my body's right to express emotions."
2
12
76
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin We often downplay the trauma as, "just part of living." NO IT IS NOT. Trauma is a deep cry from the soul that something is OFF. Something in your life needs to be healed, removed, analyzed, inspected and cleansed so that you can see things clearly and objectively.
1
12
76
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc As I reflect about this, ALL OF US have some narcissistic qualities. And we need to be self-centered at times if we want to make sure our needs are being met. The issue is when our desires for self-protection dwarf care and concern for our neighbor. There are different
Tweet media one
2
12
74
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc We need to grow emotionally. And triggers help us to identify our weak spots. But there comes a point when it is harmful to your psychological health. For example, as an incest survivor, I am very sensitive to pro-pedophilia content. Despite years of work, it still unnerves me.
4
3
74
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin If we don't teach the younger generation about healing, the little ones will think traumatized behavior (paranoia, suspicion & people-pleasing) is worth emulating. What is not caught is taught. Don't let the trauma continue into the next generation.
4
10
72
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
To some people, they never heard these words from you: -Now isn't a good time -I am not available -I can't help -This isn't my job -I don't know and my all time favorite: NO Normalize letting people know the limits to your help.
0
21
72
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@_Pammy_DS_ When we try control others, paradoxically we lose our own power. Why? Because we lose focus and control when put our energy on outcomes that we cannot control.
2
15
69
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc It feels scary at first to set boundaries because it seems like your existence was based on how others felt about you. But in this new season of your life, you deserve to have self-respect and dignity.
0
3
66
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Being raised in a home where you are as only good as the last thing you created is a setup for codependency, workaholism and constant anxiety. Then we attract narcissists and emotional leaches who affirm our already low feelings of ourselves. It takes time to unlearn those
0
7
66
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
6 years
Are you building and audience and getting lots of attention in business. Congrats! You will soon have some new haters who will go against you. Learn how to stop overcome the opposition. A case study of @getongab
1
13
43
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Lots of people think that depersonalization ends when you escape or leave the situation. Not so. You can be triggered even years later. Scents. Sounds. Sights. All of that can take you into a place that reminds you of when you felt helpless and scared. It takes time to
2
2
63
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
@DrDoyleSays Separating YOU from others feels next to impossible when you had 18+ years or practice being in unhealthy codependent relationships, first with your family - then with all the other playmates you picked up along the way. But your body knows things are off. Your body gives you
1
5
58
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin When we use toxic positive sayings like: -Keep positive! -Good vibes only! -Everything happens for a reason and It'll all work out! All of that those saying without empathy concludes, "I am not comfortable with your pain-filled feelings." Give people ample space to mourn.
0
18
59
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
2 years
Have you ever used flattery to get out of a uncomfortable situation? Instead of flattery, use honesty and humility. It helps you from slipping into saying lies and gives the other person the chance to be kind towards your feelings. Here is an example you can use next time👇🏾
2
9
54
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
@AnnaPri14859320 This rabbit hole goes super DEEP Anna. Every time you see someone in an abusive situation, not only are they reinforcing their old trauma wounds, they may even develop such deep defense of their abuser - Stockholm syndrome.
1
8
61
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
Some of you guys are expecting waayyyy too much out from your emotionally disabled parent as an adult. Let me tell you something about my mother. My mother who abused me sexually, verbally and physically for many years. That woman. I am 41 yrs old and till TODAY, she still
17
9
59
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc So many of us attract the hurt that needs to be healed. The addict marries the enabler. And unless one or both parties are in recovery, they will amplify and enhance the conflict and drama. It really takes effort on both parties to examine and extinguish old emotional wounds.
0
6
57
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc If you are used to lying to yourself about your feelings, sharing your uncensored feelings may seem unnerving (to put it mildly). However, if you don't cause hurt, inevitably, hurt will be caused onto you because you failed to honor your emotional and spiritual needs.
2
11
53
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Anger - longterm, never helps anyone. Besides, an abuser wants you to stay angry, that gives them power of over you because you view yourself as an angry, confused, victim. I use anger to free my sub-emotions, but NEVER to be held hostile to them in perpetuity.
1
2
53
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Too many us have fcked up - especially when we were lost and confused in the midst of our addiction and pain. I know I created some royal messes while I was rolling around in the sh*t storms I created. If we can extend that same level of love for others that we wished someone
1
5
48
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc If you were raised in a performance-oriented home were everyone was told that you must be a doctor, lawyer, athlete or whatever...there is an incredible high bar that you cannot met. And that absolutely ruins a child's sense of creativity and desire to explore.
2
5
46
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@nate_postlethwt As a humans we are tribal - its seems NORMAl to want to be connected to other human beings, especially family. But if let's be real, if they knew the ABUSE, the PAIN and the CONFLICT that kept you in constant fear, insecurities and doubt - which originated from childhood -they
2
4
44
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@DrBobBeare @Theholisticpsyc Simple, yet so hard to do. The parent is paying the bills and wants to "fix" that kid. Massive insecurity and fear prevents them from seeing things objectively. It will take mastery of the therapist and massive ethics to teach the parent that it is their behavior, not the
2
3
42
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin Too many of us never learned to work THROUGH the grief, and as a result, inadvertently traumatized themselves via paranoia, fear and anxiety. It takes time to validate your feelings rather than to ignore them.
0
6
41
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@AmandaMGoetz Amen to that! Some of us don't even start to reboot our life until our 40s. Hubris (the nasty version of pride) really slows success. Some of us need many emotional scraps and bruises before we decide that the way we are living needs to be adjusted.
0
1
42
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@AriHaleCoach Lots of reasons. But most view that it will create financial restriction. They want the freedom to spend their money how they like, when they like and don't want to be held accountable to anyone. Other times, they saw their parent's dysfunctional relationship with money and
2
1
40
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@Theholisticpsyc Lies are form of protection. We don't feel safe with others, and potentially ourselves so we say things that prevent us from feeling the FULL BRUNT of the discomfort and pain. Reality is too much to bear. So we tell ourselves -its not bad -they didn't really meant it When the
0
7
41
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc As a recovering people-pleaser, I thought that if I could say or do the right things - I could avoid bad things happening in my childhood home. Unfortunately, it didn't happened that way. Instead, placing so much responsibility on an a young age is a perfect setup for them to
1
4
41
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@EIsrafilli I don't think they are capable of even loving themselves while in an affair. Lust can distort reality.
1
3
39
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Too many of us who were raised in dysfunctional families learned to: -Be perfect -Don't make a fuss -Don't worry -Be strong -Never complain Children raised to be docile turned into silently seething, people-pleasing, anxious and often paranoid shell of a "functional" adult.
0
6
37
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc For me discipline is freedom. I am not talking about shame-based discipline where you constantly have to -work hard -please others -be strong -hurry up and never complain. It was the discipline that said, "If I want to stay sober, I have to do these things to maintain my
0
2
38
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic. Masculinity isn't toxic.
3
4
33
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc And how the hell can you follow through on anything when you mind is zonked out, drugged out and blurred from an active addiction and unresolved issues.
1
3
37
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
@DrMcFillin 95% of most of our feelings originate from our enteric system NOT our brain -our stomaches recognize our pain -our stomach knows when we are in a threatening situation IBS and so many stomach pains are linked to past trauma.
1
8
38
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
@nate_postlethwt When you have cPTSD, you're a ball of RAW NERVES. An unceasingly barrage of stress & anxiety which came from YEARS of unsafe/random and chaotic places and spaces. And yes, living with perfectionists and control freaks is a form of trauma too. We know through brain scans and
1
6
36
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Patience comes from empathy. This is a step above from just care and concern. Finding a person that can truly understand your pain, yet want to help you heal, on your own timeline, is a gift that has no price tag.
3
6
35
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Thank you for your valuable work. It is needed now more than ever.
0
0
33
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc It is common to see multiple cycles of intergenerational trauma in romantic relationships. For example, a daughter sees her mom get beat up by her father. Then as an adult, her daughter unconsciously seeks to find the turbulent, yet familiar relationship with a new lover.
1
4
31
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Sadly, there is no date or time when someone will mature emotionally. Emotionally immature people have so much internalized shame that they cannot help but to make others feel sad, desperate, lonely and afraid. Its true what they say - misery does love company.
1
6
30
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc There is that line between: "I don't believe you, but I am curious to learn your perspective." from "I need to feel good about me by making you feel bad." The former builds empathy and communication, the later destroys trust, and ultimately the self-worth of another person.
2
6
31
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin If "man up" means to: -ignore your emotions -fight even when you are exhausted -intimidate your way to "success" FORGET IT Teaching anyone, especially men, to be hyper-aggressive demands them to deny their own emotions and how their emotions impact others.
1
6
30
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
11 months
When you are used to madness, the stillness feels foreign. So many of us from painful childhood aren't accustomed to prioritizing our mental health. We need to be patient as the storm within our mind calms down.
6
5
29
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
9 months
@Theholisticpsyc And as I wrote this originally, I thought about all the people who felt bad. Maybe this came through your mind, "I feel inauthentic because I am a habitual people pleaser." If so, please now you aren't. What you are is someone who learned how to survive an incredibly
1
5
30
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
3 years
When someone says, “You’re right,” they are not saying, “that’s right.” What is happening is your listener wants to end the conversation and agreeing with you is the quickest way to do it.
7
3
28
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
9 months
@DrDoyleSays Complex trauma is OFTEN intergenerational. For example: Your great-grandmother, who had to deal with a horrific experience in war, learned that showing her fear was not helpful. Then your mother learned that showing fear was NOT ACCEPTABLE, so nobody wanted to talk about her
2
5
30
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
Let me tell you the unsexy part of healing. And that includes something that is simple, yet so darn hard to do: Paying attention to the words you tell yourself. If you were raised in a painful childhood, you were routinely exposed it criticism and negativity. Everyone around
1
3
29
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc Before my recovery journey, I gave up on myself -I put all my time and energy into trying to save grown a$$ adults from their own poor decisions. And then when I started to get well, they gave up on me because setting boundaries and speaking with empathy seemed foreign to them.
1
4
29
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@Theholisticpsyc As humans, society is based on cohesion. And it starts in the family unit. If you rebel against what your mom/dad said - they may withdraw what you need the most - love and affection. That hurts if you have an underdeveloped sense of inner worth. So, you believe that love can
0
5
28
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@_FlawlessPage @Theholisticpsyc We will never know what is going on between that lady and her husband but I'll say that some of us have stayed in toxic relationship for YEARSSS before we woke up to the painful truth it was eroding away our confidence and self-worth.
0
0
28
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
10 months
Safe people are okay with difficult conversations. Safe people are okay with difficult conversations. Safe people are okay with difficult conversations. Safe people are okay with difficult conversations. Safe people are okay with difficult conversations.
3
7
27
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
3 years
You don't have to apologize for protecting the needs of yourself and your family. It is not selfish - It is survival.
2
6
24
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
When people behave unkindly towards you, know this fact: It is NEVER about you. It is a projection of their own emotional insecurities. Just because someone is throwing out negative energy, it doesn't require you catching it.
2
4
29
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
@drjenwolkin When we are quick to explain away or justify behavior without care or consideration for the other person's feelings, it totally eliminates the opportunity to create a genuine empathic connection.
1
4
27
@DeniseGLee
Denise G. Lee
1 year
I don't even pretend to be a mindfulness person. There are tons of wonderful accounts here that work on syncing the spiritual soul to the physical body. I am a cognitive (thinking) specialist. That means I focus on how your thoughts impact your way of viewing yourself and your
7
2
27