Dan St. Germain @DSGermain Twitter profile

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Dan St. Germain

6 months

My new Special “Dance Fatty, Dance!” is up on YouTube!

Dan St. Germain | Dance Fatty, Dance! (Full Comedy Special)

Dan's latest hour explores the absurdities of both his personal life and the world around him. Whether it's getting pegged by his wife, exploring the dark si...

www.youtube.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

This is so fucking embarrassing. #Oscars

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

The Snyder Cut made the Oscars! #Oscars2022

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Hey assholes, I didn't grow this beard to get laid. I grew it for America.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

3 years

"I should watch the Emmy's..." (Turns on CBS, sees Rita Wilson rapping, slowly pushes laptop into ocean.)

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

My eyes say, "let's fuck" but my pony tail says, "libraries are an important part of our community."

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

This Mueller report feels like when Guns and Roses dropped Chinese Democracy.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

3 years

Hogan. Roast. Friday. #roast #comedy @DanSoder @benjiaflalo @racebanning @WWECreative_ish @Scott_Chaplain

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

Imagine getting punched and having that same asshole then give a speech about bringing families together. #Oscars

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 months

The worst part about this Rife scandal is that I think the two guys I sucked off were lying about being Hollywood Executives.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

It's amazing how cocky I get after a salad.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 months

Hey folks, my special is free on YouTube. Give it a watch.

Dan St. Germain | Dance Fatty, Dance! (Full Comedy Special)

Dan's latest hour explores the absurdities of both his personal life and the world around him. Whether it's getting pegged by his wife, exploring the dark si...

www.youtube.com

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Hey Woody Allen, if you want to convince us you didn't have sex with your one daughter, maybe don't marry your other daughter.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

I've never met one person who's gone to an open mic and stayed pro-life.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Hey guys, writing a love song. What rhymes with, "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams?"

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Nothing worse than accidentally putting on the sock you came in.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 years

Here’s another way to donate to Kevin’s memorial.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 years

Are we still not sure Jussie Smollett wasn’t attacked by those Catholic High School MAGA kids?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

I've gained enough weight during this pandemic to star in my own TLC special. #comedycentral #FitnessMotivation

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

The whole point of standup is to get really good at it. The whole point of improv is to eventually not have to do it anymore.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

This crypto stuff is starting to feel like The Simpsons Monorail Guy episode.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Just actually bragged, "Let me tell ya buddy, I've been to a lot of zoos."

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

My favorite part about True Detective this season was how none of it made any sense or mattered.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Eddie Murphy is the only example of SNL needing someone more than they needed SNL.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

My family crest is just an image of an old woman who looks like John Goodman asking, "Who wants seconds?!"

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Fargo Season 2 was my Star Wars.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Westboro Baptist Church turning on Kim Davis is the most punk rock thing I've ever seen.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

Just read a 2013 Facebook post where I sincerely talked about my personal journey in 2012. I'm the fucking worst.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

Thanks @ryansickler for having me on your pod!

Dan St. Germain

My #HoneyDew this week is Dan St Jermain! I asked Dan to send me some things he wanted to talk about and the first thing he wrote was “My 2nd time in rehab”. Ju

podcasts.apple.com

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

Can’t wait until tomorrow morning when someone on right wing Twitter blames the Smith/Rock fight on cancel culture and left wing Twitter blames it on White Privilege. #Oscars2022

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

I'm on the 1rst ep of @DavidShoemaker 's new wrestling podcast for @ringer . #humbled #honored #bringbackManMountainRock

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

3 years

Kim Jung-Un shunning Biden but embracing Trump has reinforced my believe that fat guys automatically love other fat guys.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

If this plays out like everything else has, Trump will be fine and give it to some random black Rose Garden employee with 3 kids who then dies without insurance.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

4 those of u wondering what it's like to have a "comedy career" I just earnestly asked, "Do we go on before or after the midget wrestling?"

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

What's the difference between burlesque and stripping? About forty pounds.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

He couldn’t say white supremacy is bad. #Debate2020

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

3 years

Man how hot would it be if Collinsworth and Al Michaels kissed right now?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Somebody tell Neil Patrick Harris that naked isn't funny when you're hot.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

I'd say my personality is somewhere between annoying and haunting.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Congrats to the gays joining the heteros in the "the reason I'm not married is due to my shit personality and crippling depression" category

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 months

Special Drops March 12th on YouTube!

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Gwyneth no one gives a shit if you're friends with Tim Mcgraw.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

This whole Biden presidency feels like when you find out your dad can't fight.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

I am proud to announce that next month I will be roasting the greatest of all time. RIC FLAIR!!!!! Woooooooo. @RicFlairNatrBoy

Conrad the Mortgage Guy

@HeyHeyItsConrad

5 years

It doesn’t get any bigger than this. Live from @CaesarsPalace ... The Roast of @RicFlairNatrBoy , hosted by @RonFunches . #STARRCASTonFITE #RicFlairRoast

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

In the history of girls posting sexy pictures on Facebook, no guy has ever gotten laid through commenting on how good they look.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Idris Elba would make a great bond but Pierce Brosnan would make a terrible Stringer Bell.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

Tackling a cancer survivor is bad. Doing it as a white guy with fake Rasta dreads is unforgivable. Congrats to @BretHart and @NatbyNature for showing a ton of class.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

6 years

I hate baseball. It was created at a time when people were too sick to play other sports. “You guys want to run around dribbling and playing defense?” ��Goddamn it Frank, we all have Small Pox. Let’s just hit a ball with a stick.”

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

Great time doing @RonFunches show @StarrcastEvents tonight. Myself and @TheMikeLawrence will be taking photos and selling Merch tomorrow at noon @CaesarsPalace !

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Man I really hope nobody finds those photos of me posing with that raccoon I killed outside my apartment.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Pro wrestling legend Nick Bockwinkel died at 80, or in professional wrestling years, 468.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Jared Leto's Joker looks like half the girls I'm attracted to.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

I hope Star Wars is so bad.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Bought a plant today in case you ladies were wondering whether or not to come over.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

"I've gotta get laid!" for me has been replaced with, "Well I had a cheeseburger for lunch, I guess I'll do a burrito for dinner."

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

I think I've really got a shot with this Amanda Bynes chick.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

My new Comedy Central set came out today!

Weed vs. Alcohol Blackouts - Dan St. Germain – Stand-Up Featuring

Dan St. Germain explains why he prefers blacking out on weed and remembers when he and his wife tried pegging for the first time. (Contains strong language.)...

www.youtube.com

Comedy Central Stand-Up

@standup

4 years

No one actually needs a liberal arts degree. @DSGermain

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

At 31 you're a way better hang that doesn't want to hang.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

I wonder who'll take home best picture? Or what any of the nominees are? #Oscars

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

If there’s one positive thing we can take from this nightmare it’s that at least we now know how much Rudy Guiliani’s kids hate him.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Really powerful article by Michelle McNamara, an incredibly gifted true crime writer.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Colbert is racist! Also, Ernest really went to jail and Mark Wahlberg is actually friends with a Transformer.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

I don't trust anyone who doesn't like at least one Bob Seeger song.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Just took a pic of an old couple sleeping next to me on this flight because I thought they looked sweet. Is this how serial killing starts?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

Saddest moment of comic's career -when a guy writes a mean comment about your video and you write an anonymous positive one above it.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

You can't be both a MILF and Ghost Hunter.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

Is there a way I can support Bernie without supporting his supporters?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

2 years

Self-care is scattering rose petals across my bed before I masturbate.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Can you imagine being depressed enough to teach Theatre?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Sam Smith looks like what would happen if your dad tried joining New Kids on the Block.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

8 years

We all liked Dave Mathews at one point and we all turned our backs on him.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Bernie Sanders debates the same way an old guy yells at you for cutting the line at a CVS pharmacy.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

I hate Tom Brady! He's beautiful, rich, a great quarterback... Oh, that's right, I just hate me.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

I've been thinking about getting into standup.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Blessed are the insane, who post on social media about the things they should be booked for.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Tonight I'm on @nightlyshow at 11:30/10:30c on @ComedyCentral ! Look at everyone trying to get away from me.... http://t.co/f3673meTur

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Lorne Michaels discovered me last night... In back of a dumpster giving hand jobs for quarters.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

True story, I just got rejected from volunteering at a hospice.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Being an adult is taking a resentment, weighing the pros and cons of standing up 4 urself b4 keeping it inside and letting it slowly kill u.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Just texted a girl I have a crush on "Happy International Women's Day!" What is wrong with me?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Jesus Superbowl, can we get through the game without you reminding me of my dead kid?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Guys, Bernie Sanders is only one point away from the CIA secretly blowing up his plane!

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

Weird that the two primary purposes of the internet r to express immediate outrage and jerk off to things you hope no one knows you're into.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

50 Shades made 80 million this wknd. You guys have heard of Pornhub, right?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

I'm not a Trump person but buying Jeb Bush's domain is the legit funniest thing I've ever seen a politician do.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

If anyone's wondering how my Saturday night's going I just Googled, "When do Sun Chips go bad?"

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

Netflix and chill? More like Starz on Demand and fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

This month of the Trump presidency is starting to feel like that moment where you think Jason’s dead.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

9 years

I haven't found "the one" yet but when I do I hope she's really negative about everything.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Just danced around my apartment in my under wear shaking my depression med bottles like maracas. Big Dog knows how to party.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

FACEBOOK - "Realizing you don't like your friends, one status at a time."

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

Check out my set from @TeamCoco http://t.co/5O9IH2nzi9!!!!!!

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

11 years

Tig and I made it!!!!! http://t.co/oD25t46v0q

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

5 years

So glad I got to work on #Alternatino ! Premieres tomorrow night!

comedycentral

@ComedyCentral

5 years

This isn't complicated: #Alternatino premieres June 18 at 10:30/9:30c, but the first episode is on YouTube now.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

4 years

From our @sammyguevara ep where we talk about his now famous golf cart bump. New episode up tonight to talk Dynamite, NXT, and Raw.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Oh me? Just getting emotional watching Youtube videos of people with Down Syndrome meeting their favorite wrestlers.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

The goal of Los Angeles is to turn everyone into Natalie Portman in Black Swan.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Nobody cares you're hustling if you suck.

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Really @Salon ? We needed to know Kevin Sorbo's opinion on Ferguson? Is Dean Cain's opinion on Benghazi's next?

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Dan St. Germain

@DSGermain

10 years

Stand up comedy @gvider http://t.co/6NE0wUIXKc

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