Chris Lakin @ChrisChipMonk Twitter profile

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Chris Lakin

23 days

We met at a prediction market conference. He placed the bounty because his anxiety was crushing his agency and relationships. We spoke. Now two months later, he says our one conversation helped him achieve what 8 years of talk therapy could not

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

4 months

let's get cancelled, on Thursday. What will you say?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

15 days

Emotional insecurities are unconscious predictions like “To feel good, I must be productive” or “To feel okay, other people must like me.” These place your emotions out of your control.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

23 days

I became a bounty hunter! But instead of hunting outlaws, I hunt the biggest bottlenecks to thriving. For example, Bob was bottlenecked by lifelong anxiety. So he offered a $3k bounty to resolve it. We resolved it in a single conversation.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

I paid for @visakanv $600's marketing help and all I got were 3,700 words of notes. summarized here! me: why didn't this tweet get attention, you think?

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I didn’t have to avoid you; I was just insecure

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

Oh, yes:

Johnson (Lisbon, LA Oct-Jan)

@justavagrant_

7 months

@ChrisChipMonk Did anyone succeed

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

10 months

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

no, they weren't. they had never met until they pointed at each other.

ChrisD

@sensefulronin

7 months

@ChrisChipMonk @justavagrant_ I assume they were already a couple.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

someone offered me $100,000 if I could solve their anxiety. no pressure

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

@devonzuegel they really missed an opportunity for activism there huh

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

@justavagrant_ Yes, actually

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 month

Have you ever had Big psychological growth that lasts 1+ months and then basically reverts? Please share your story I'm trying to figure out how common this is

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

@TylerAlterman There were a bunch, but high context. Another: person stands up in front of group. I say to group, “How attractive do you think this person is? In your head, what number would you give them out of 10? Raise your hand once you’ve formulated your opinion.” Once everyone raises, I

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

a client of mine realized if she never expresses interest to men she’s interested in, she’ll only end up with the kind of men that chase. All of her past partners have had savior complexes!

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

I run events like this all the time in SF btw. Email list on my website

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

During Intentionally Awkward Flirting last night, I told every attendee to recall the feeling of social awkwardness, find it in their body, and then maximize it while flirting. It was really wholesome! The activities 🧵

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

We're finally running intentionally awkward flirting, designed by women. Structure, boundaries, let's get awk. How will you be Honorably Awkward?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

19 days

A reason you may be afraid to feel your feelings is because when you share your feelings with others, sometimes they react really negatively. Today I told someone close to me how I was feeling and they hung up on me

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

@yosemiteytu why not you?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I resolved my chronic (3.5y) neck pain two months ago. Now it’s obvious to me that I was creating the tension all along. Here’s my model of what was causing my tension: 1. There would be a feeling in my neck. Like all feelings, the sensation in my neck represented some piece of

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

15 days

Just healed my relationship with my parents AMA

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

10 months

This father has been using spaced repetition (Anki) to teach his children how to read several years earlier than average. "My daughter is now about to turn 5 in a few days… she definitely has the reading ability of fifth grader" Link in next tweet

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

Hot take: If therapists and coaches actually believed they could cause psychological growth, then they would ask their clients to only pay once they notice lasting change

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

It's really a shame that paying for products and services after you've benefited from them isn't normalized. I really wish I lived in a culture where retroactive payment was the norm. The incentives are much better, and we'd have so much better products

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

4 months

@davidad thanks for saying this. i get sussed at ppl who use neurotransmitters as explanations. "the car moves because the gears turn" lol "i did it because of the dopamine"..

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

13 days

Insecurity has a literal meaning here: the outside is controlling the inside when it shouldn’t be.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

It's really a shame that paying for products and services after you've benefited from them isn't normalized. I really wish I lived in a culture where retroactive payment was the norm. The incentives are much better, and we'd have so much better products

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 month

@Austen @paulg *percentage points not percent

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

23 days

Bob now: “I’m choosing to work on problems beyond my capabilities, and get excited about situations where my weaknesses are repeatedly on display.” “I actually feel excited about entering social situations where chances of things going worse than I want them to were high.”

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

10 days

i used to be jealous of person xyz but then i realized i could just ask them for help doing the thing i admire

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

This is why I’m bearish on exposure therapy. You want to be safe in *all possible situations*, not just 99%. Empirical evidence doesn’t help much with that, especially after the first few attempts. You need something stronger (unlearning the unconscious predictions of harm)

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

“How could my anxiety be helping me? It’s obviously making others like me less, not more!” — No, it’s that anxiety is usually about the worst case scenarios, rather than the average case. The fix is to make all worse case scenarios feel safe — not to realize that theyre unlikely

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I didn’t have to avoid you; I was just insecure

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

9 days

3 ppl recommended this to me in the last year, might as well share it

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

events are not about content, they're about people. HOWEVER, if you make them explicitly about people, they fail. So events must pretend to be about content. For example, if you want to run an event for writers, you want non-writers to not be there. So while I think I think

Patricia Mou

@patriciamou_

2 months

after seeing some 800~ events take place at The Commons i've learned 3 things: 1) plausible deniability: if you say we're here to make friends, friendship doesn't happen. if you say we're here to research or talk about niche topic x and y, friendships always form. same applies

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

12 days

2024 was the year we started using the full power of self-fulfilling prophecies

Defender

@DefenderOfBasic

2 months

someone wrote an incredible fiction/nonfiction book about what happens in the year 2025 and it was such a beautiful inspiring vision with step by step instructions that people just started making it happen and small things in the book came true and it made it go viral

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

4 months

Frank Yang is immune to psychedelics now: "I've done salvia with no effect. I’ve done ayahuasca with… almost no effect… 2.5 tabs of LSD… nothing happened." @digitalairair

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

@sensefulronin @justavagrant_ no, they weren't. they had never met until they pointed at each other.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I began asking, “Before we start— Do you think you’re overly afraid of other people disliking you?” Most say “No.” This turns out to be wrong like 90% of the time. I help them untangle this fear, and many psychological issues that you wouldn't think are social then get resolved.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: hm, sometimes people do emotional vomiting in public and the polite thing to do is not engage. i almost feel like people left you alone as a service! Visa: maybe instead… "here's something i learned…". (i wouldn't do this for every tweet tho)

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

virtually everyone I’ve helped grow has had their deepest confusions in the same few areas

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

me: hmm i like to keep my threshold high so ppl scroll through my profile and see "oh this is all quality" Visa: yes but soooo few ppl ever scroll through profiles. it's better to optimize for getting more eyeballs on tweets by tweeting more. maybe do this until 5k-8k me: oh!!!

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: but, in general, **tell the scroller how you want them to engage with your content**. What is the desired response? Think more user-centric/reader-centric. Visa: For example, if someone tweets: "bad thing happened to me, send memes"

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

23 days

Link in bio; DMs open

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

13 days

i finally listened to a podcast by David Burns (CBT guy) and OMG CBT seems SO COERCIVE - “““crush negative thoughts””” - “”cognitive distortions”” ?? - He named one technique “elimination of resistance” lmao - treats ppl like machines - He talks about ""truth"" as if that's the

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

We're finally running intentionally awkward flirting, designed by women. Structure, boundaries, let's get awk. How will you be Honorably Awkward?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 year

@RomeoStevens76 Wide toe box shoes maybe? Love my Softstars

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

10 months

Do you have experience with Active Inference, Embedded Agency, biological gap junctions, or other frameworks that separate agents from their environment? Apply to the Conceptual Boundaries Workshop for AI safety. February in Austin TX.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

23 days

He went from bottlenecked to thriving, so he paid the bounty. That’s how I earned my first ★ as a bounty hunter. It won’t be the last

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

22 days

:O you can search @ExaAILabs to find people like you Hey @Malcolm_Ocean @RhysLindmark !:)

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

I think it’d be kind of cool to live in a world with truly zero privacy. I feel like privacy only matters if other people have it. But if everyone knew everything about everyone else that seems fine actually? Just another equilibrium

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

5 months

@pli_cachete Cancer always dies, except that one

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

5 months

Eye contact event last night @thesfcommons : By the end everyone was 1) very comfortable with eye contact (at least within the group) and 2) making ~100% eye contact while speaking, listening, and thinking, both 1on1 and in group conversation. I'm still smiling about it the event

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

5 months

Running eye contact Monday @thesfcommons

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

This is also why I've started to transition all of my funders from proactive funding ("fund me to do work over the next n months") to retroactive funding: it has better incentives, it feels better for me, and if I'm good then I can make a profit. Photo: email to a patron of mine

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

It's really a shame that paying for products and services after you've benefited from them isn't normalized. I really wish I lived in a culture where retroactive payment was the norm. The incentives are much better, and we'd have so much better products

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

“How could my anxiety be helping me? It’s obviously making others like me less, not more!” — No, it’s that anxiety is usually about the worst case scenarios, rather than the average case. The fix is to make all worse case scenarios feel safe — not to realize that theyre unlikely

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I never ask people I help about their past trauma because it’s irrelevant. All I care about is what unconscious predictions they are making right now. If those predictions can be updated, they make rapid progress.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

@cube_flipper He’s written about how anxious he is and I can see it too

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Once in a while, a friend will tell me they've disliked some part of our interactions for months. Suddenly. I vow to try my best to never do this, and instead always express my feelings — even negative ones, even confusing ones — immediately.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 month

I'd like to better understand what enables agency. I'm writing a post about young people who have created their own unusual and financially sustainable careers. If this describes you (or someone you know), would you reply?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

25 days

me: wow people keep starting conversations with me here today this is great friend: is it your hat? me: what? oh

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: You're sharing your experience. I wish more people would do that. Share your experience and invite people to share their experience. that is truly a gift to the commons.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

6 days

currently extremely frustrated with how difficult is to communicate and be understood any tips?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

Emotional security is gained by losing emotional insecurities. Emotional insecurities are unconscious predictions like “For me to feel okay, other people must like me.” My process helps untangle and integrate these unconscious predictions rapidly.

Jim Fanara

@jimfanara

3 months

@ChrisChipMonk anxiety is not something to solve for but an emotion and experience we learn to embody and feel fully, then eventually learn to let it rise and pass maybe that will help reframe it for your potential student! Just trying to make it a bit of an easier task for you :)

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

6 months

i also get much more out of focusing my energy on people who are highly responsive to me. i try to bounce back ~110% of energy i see. but this isn't hard. What is hard is not spending energy on people who aren't responsive to you. sometimes i still get confused about this, but

pangea

@pangea_dove

6 months

how do I set boundaries around text responsiveness? turns out it really gets to me. my quality of life is WAY higher when I’m only emotionally invested in responsive people. I’m guessing it’s an internal thing: if this person isn’t responsive, it’s my role to keep my distance?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

4 months

make eye contact or go to jail (party last night)

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 days

I wanted to run a “Make 100% eye contact or get sent to jail” party. But I did NOT want it to be exposure therapy. That wouldn’t help the most nervous people. They may look like they’re making eye contact, but they would've actually died inside. What do?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

22 days

@harodihg that’s the goal

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

A while ago I discovered I was pretending to be tired in some social attractions. Tiredness was a way for me to avoid interactions I disliked without creating conflict

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

15 days

@tautologer Each had a conflict with me, so with each: 1. I heard them out until when I ask “Anything more?” they say No. 2. I asked what they want from me, or what they want to hear anything from me. Specific questions. 3. I did NOT say anything except in response to concrete questions from

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: *a thing is worth saying to the public when you believe that there's something the public is doing wrong* Visa: Sometimes people afraid of doing this. Checking- Would you be afraid to title "Popular conceptions of boundaries seem wrong"? Very common insecurity. me: naw

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: but the screenshot is good. maybe even "Have you ever noticed that you're avoidance is a protection mechanism?"

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

I did not realize that when you become an expert in a thing, literally all of your conversations with people you meet will be about that thing whether or not you intend it. Do you ever choose to play dumb bc of this?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

When I was depressed there were a couple days were I realized, “Oh, I can just decide to be happy!”… and then was just happy the whole day. I did this 2 or 3 times in the first 2mo, and then for the next 4mo I somehow entirely forgot I could make that choice and stayed sad

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

visa: Similar for you web bio: "Hi. I do (big thing). I do (big thing)." Visa: Instead: Can you state your *niche*? This makes it more interesting even without the social proof. When small, be an expert in a small area. What's your niche expedition?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 year

@ArtirKel I was reading some anecdotes a few days ago of people who regrew their teeth more than that

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

I think many people here are thinking about “boundaries” in a way that is incorrect and potentially harmful. Please let me know if I’m saying this in a way that makes sense. 🧵

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

1 month

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

me: what about this tweet Visa: it isn't clear how you *wanted* ppl to respond. one thing you could've said (this maybe borders a bit on engagement bait): "What would you do differently?" But otherwise I would consider this a good tweet. It's nice.

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

How I ran a flirting party that women were excited to attend:

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

9 days

i have a monthly "see what happens" budget: - random bodywork that a friend recommended - inviting a young friend to SF for a week - a ping pong ball coated in an indestructible metal alloy Quote this tweet and share what's in your "see what happens" budget!

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

visa: "solving social interaction, becoming more alive" is too big! Who would listen to u on this vs larger accounts w more social proof? Eg: a famous actor could have "I pretend to be people" in bio fine. But your bio is basically trying to countersignal w/o social proof

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: it's actually kind of strange that the engagement on your tweets is not more. i don't actually know how to explain this. surprising. we have 100 mutuals in common. it might just be time and arbitrary. there's no clear obvious thing that you're not doing. it's just persist.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Have you applied the advice in @catehall 's post? How has it worked/not worked for you? Please reply/DM

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

14 days

@metaLulie Learn to socialize

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

A billionaire asked me to help fundraise for a project today because he’s not funding it. What. I’m so confused

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Would you rather marry someone who says "I want to marry you because you’re better than every else I've dated", or "…because you're essential to me, and I can't imagine living without you" ? I love Atlas because he's *essential*! Not because he's “the best dog”

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: also, you might think you can only tell a story 1-2x, but the internet doesn't know/care. people will milk a story for years. you can re-post talking about your parties indefinitely. every a couple of months you can mention another anecdote me: ooo

Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

5 months

Eye contact event last night @thesfcommons : By the end everyone was 1) very comfortable with eye contact (at least within the group) and 2) making ~100% eye contact while speaking, listening, and thinking, both 1on1 and in group conversation. I'm still smiling about it the event

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

9 months

@RomeoStevens76 the first time my ex watched me use a computer she said "whoa you use your computer like a brain-computer interface, i have to learn from this"

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

7 months

thanks to that girl that revealed a zero-day exploit in my soul

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

28 days

How can I get ethical meat shipped to my door? For health reasons, I've eaten approximately 5 cows by weight in the last 4 years. Ethical for my purposes means the animals are treated well across their life. I currently buy from US Wellness Meats, but idk the ethics

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

I was having some allergies and squirming around v uncomfortable. I asked the discomfort, “Why?” It responded: “Because then mom will come and help.” But she wasn’t around. In that moment, I entirely stopped suffering (it was still painful, just not bad). What?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: think about what catchphrases you want to have, explain them, and keep coming back to them in your tweets me: hmm "psychological issues often have an immediate payoff" Visa: you could do a thread! that's potentially a banger thread. me: oooh

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

25 days

this is true for any kind of relationship

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

People will do anything except feel the feelings causing their procrastination lol

Garry Tan

@garrytan

2 months

What if an AI sidekick was there to keep you on task and help make you successful? Like the world's best pomodoro app, but smart. What if it could be better than adderall?

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

17 days

TRADE OFFER: You receive a better feed / I receive better tweet engagement. If you’re not actively excited to see my tweets, please unfollow my account. consider whether you wish to do this yourself

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

Spoke yesterday and they already reported some improvement (can't say much more b/c confidentiality)

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

3 months

Once I didn't tell a group of people my name at a party and overall I acted super unusual. "Are you high rn?" "No I'm just like this!" Afterwards one found me via the internet, emailed me, we hung out, and now we're friends. Later he introduced me to a girl across the world that

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

2 months

Visa: also, i'd just, tweet more. lower your threshold. especially when you're small account. (but do it only for fun). book reviews, ask questions, tell stories.

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Chris Lakin

@ChrisChipMonk

8 days

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