chris tachio @CTachio83984 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@glpUtfTtvaXd4kC

@BinorRaja

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@BdallhTarsh

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@tyykay

@joeboncore

@_gangaji_

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@563Force

chris tachio

@CTachio83984

16 days

the minions are mischievous but they never let it get in the way of the job

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

14 days

im not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when i see that i have a good hand

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

being offered a sweet treat is a classic "don't mind If I do situation"

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

pitbulls...the sharks of the sea

Minga

@KillaMinga

1 month

Kitesurfer survives pitbull attack on Argentinian beach

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

I only negotiate with terrorists

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

i like pretend to being drowning then when the lifeguard swims out i pull them down to their watery grave, ive gotten 6 so far

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

you're over 23 and at the club? you should be at home wearing half moon spectacles building a wooden ship in a bottle

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

school bullies: he's poor, his family can only afford a ragdoll engine me: thats not true!!! *im trying to hold back tears and run away and i trip and tumble unrealistically down the stairs*

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

as an alcoholic i would be insanely pissed if there wasn't an open bar

Unworthy Hand

@kisstheblade_

2 months

As an alcoholic, I've been watching some of you react to the very idea of a wedding without an open bar, and I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

its so cruel how the writers always make porky pig try to say words like indubitably

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

our rapport bro, what happened to our rapport

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

* to the guy next to me after the movie ends* that was a powerful message

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

they should take this person and ground them up to make food for livestock

typec (new acct)

@typeclonghouse

1 month

is it really bad or rude to not allow a handyman type person to use the restroom at your house if they ask?

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

22 days

it matters not playboy

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

29 days

the government has declared crab law

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

im walking around the TL with a drink in my hand saying stuff like "glad you could make it" "its been too long" "is that who I think it is?

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

10 days

roommate: im having friends over tonight me: alright cool roommate: three of europe’s worst criminals

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

Pete ? Pete Griffin? I'd recognize that voice anywhere, how the hell are ya you old sonofabitch

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

when i worked at the crane i would lift up all kinds of things i wasnt supposed to

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

*turning to the guy next to me at the theatre at motioning up at the screen* you could be in this movie, you've got the look

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

hit this bro, this shit will give you pause

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

14 days

lookin good rob

Gary Peterson 🇺🇸

@GaryPetersonUSA

14 days

Tucker Carlson spent his whole Sunday with Rob Schneider, and even treated him to lunch at the Old Country Buffet, because he consistently gets our greatest thinkers.

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

I just learned that my favourite album Waterworld is actually the Score for a movie, very interesting

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

i think that the best song ever made is debaser

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

16 days

losing my cool with my class of first graders and screaming at them that they are the scum of the earth

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

my parole officer told me that he doesnt consider us a classic comedy duo type of partnership and he had kind of an attitude about it

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

20 days

sorry boss can't make it in today my clone escaped...usually if i miss work i would send the clone but...you know

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

26 days

the cop pulled a portable hoop out of his trunk and made me perform an acrobatic layup to prove my sobriety

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

7 days

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

approaching a couple arguing in public singing bridge over troubled water at slowly increasing volume

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

desperate and cloying, you're no ken

James Holzhauer

@James_Holzhauer

1 month

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

it would be enraged if one of those little morons fucked up my order, i would be going over the counter into the kitchen

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

2 months

10-year-olds have been working at McDonald’s as late as 2 a.m. The Department of Labor found over 300 minors at multiple McDonald's franchises working in violation of the law. These kids worked long hours, even on school days, and the 10-year-olds received no compensation.

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

8 days

you are a tiny little weak man, and thats exactly the kind of person this company needs, you’re hired

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

tried to impress them at my mcdonalds interview by speaking latin, they didn't hire me because they are philistines

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

18 days

im worried that you dont believe in the uniting power of sport

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

i love shaggy, scoody and the rest of the gang

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

i put my cat up in the tree for safekeeping and some assholes from the fire department kidnapped him

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

Local Judge reprimanded for making umpire "you're outta here!" ejection gesture after sentencing man to death

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

I am starting my summer of love now, its starting on July 24 because I had some scores to settle earlier on in the summer

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

cool moth

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

* my coworker simon walks into the office* me: el gringo....

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

8 days

the boss: i want you to adopt a smeagol type posture me: you got it boss

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

splitting your butlers skull open with your diamond tipped cane when the markets drop>>>>>

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

in his last days neil armstrong was rambling about "the man we left up there" before he died in a suspiciously sudden fashion.....

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

29 days

liquor has broken the top 5 most drinkable substances for the 3rd year in a row

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

7 days

a real friend would have found my killer by now

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

detective: I'm going ask one more tim- me: AND IM GONNA TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME, I DRAW MY INSPIRATION FROM THE NATURAL WORLD AROUND ME

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

21 days

When I was governor I executed 23 innocent men (record for governors)

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

21 days

the road to hell is paved with cool inventions

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

6 days

if it pleases the court i would like to remove my shirt

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

im makes me so angry when aliens show up and start pushing around the citizens of earth

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

20 days

just a heads up chief ive been smoking weed by the ocean all morning so im feeling pretty mellow i might just vibe with the suspect during the interrogation

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

the rich forever gang was a group of like minded individuals whose aim was to become rich and remain like that forever

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

fortune teller: your corpse will be discovered in the gardens by the Italian Ambassador and his mistress after they slip away from the main party me: classy

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

THE APE OF SPADES

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

i have accidently released the demon into my dwelling, he comes from hell and he is unreasonable

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

#RockoftheDay

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

5 days

the jig is up playboy

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

14 days

after the mishandling of several recent decisions I am calling for my brain's resignation

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

14 days

Bill Gates once told me "James I am but an infant in your arms" what do we think

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

heres what I tell all my new employees; the world needs more people like you and less like me but its never going to happen because you're weak

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

22 days

HR Rep: how have things been going me: the other day i typed my work password into my home computer thats how badly you have destroyed my mind, i want 800,000 dollars

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

im my weaker moments i screamed like a gungan

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

13 days

i believe in you bitch

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

20 days

'hitler was a legend in that writer's room, you knew you had a great joke if you could get hitler laughing' recalled conan obrien

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

7 days

the amish always play video games on the lowest setting

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

the extreme yoga retreat has left me with excruciating tendon damage and robbed me of the active lifestyle i value so much

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

divorcing my wife for being overfamiliar

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

29 days

my feet hurt and my caretakers are stealing from me

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

26 days

i cant risk getting any more irradiated than i already am

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

waste not want not playboy

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

the two basic categories of kitchen nightmares owner are "I inherited this restaurant from my parents and over the years I have lost my passion for food and for life" and "I watched good burger on tv so i took out a 500,000 loan to open a restaurant despite having no experience"

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

miles needs to die

ZubacSZN

@213clipset

1 month

Miles Bridges is a disgusting human being

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

make hay while the sun shines playboy

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

soothing female smart car ai voice: it appears that you have listened to drunken sailor 26 consecutive times on your phone, I cannot allow you to start this vehicle

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

this asshole is taking up the whole road

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

hats one thing i liked about that she hulk series is how she beat her husband its really makes you understand the evil women would be doing if they were physically stronger

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

*hearing reptile's theme* heads up everyone reptile is around somehwere

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

29 days

theres a reason I control the moon

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

going to start requesting all my followers send me a picture of their ID , nothing personal just due diligence

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

I noticed someone with a smashed up fender and i take a little notebook out of my breast pocket and write down the license plate number and next to it "reckless" and i underline it three times

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

Not crazy about the idea of Mulitple twisters it should have just been called Twister 2 and been about the characters from the first movie taking revenge on the same twister

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

21 days

i get up every morning and go to my bosses house and cook breakfast for his family then i carry him to work bridal style

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

10 days

The london philharmonic orchestra turned down my album cover idea of a giant creature battling its foe

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

9 days

i ran my refugee camp as well as i could

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

21 days

no time to take my meds while im being gangstalked like this

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

thpse people who have read hundreds of books but every one of them is a musician biography or autobiography....powerful archetype

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

16 days

nice to meet you im the heir to the grape fortune

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

i slammed down my recorder in frustation, this is not how i imagined hot cross edbuns

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

2 months

all the homies are gluttonous wastrels

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

8 days

eating the mid to upper level leaves that your long neck allows you to reach>>>>>

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

9 days

hello im part of the invasion nvm that now , how are things

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

10 days

good bot name

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

13 days

the other factgory workers are teasing me about my dress socks

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

i should check it out, im used to being in the doghouse anyway, right fellas?

Midwest Modern

@JoshLipnik

2 months

Charlie’s Dog House Diner 🌭 Cleveland, OH

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

22 days

she was a big city lawyer, he was a small town teacher he let cities burn down, she helped bail out arsonists he couldn't let love in, she only knew how to love coming this fall on the hallmark channel: running mates

Greg Abbott

@GregAbbott_TX

22 days

Harris/Walz--the most dangerous P/VP ticket ever. He let cities in his state burn down. She helped bail out the arsonists. She supports free health care to illegal immigrants. He signed laws giving state services to them. Both provide magnets for more illegal immigration.

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

executing a fearsome slam dunk at my coach's behest

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

1 month

im always googling is tomorrow a holiday cause you never know it might be and that would be nice

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chris tachio

@CTachio83984

19 days

Rick: Hey, sorry bud I accidentally drank your monster out of the work fridge i had one in there too, ill get you another one me: you are going to be the only name in my suicide note

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