born too late to be able to purchase a home off my 9 to 5 salary, born too early to cash out off of 15 minutes of tiktok fame, born at just the right time to receive 30 class action settlement payments of $20 - $300
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
today my therapist said "carrying that shame isn't serving" (implied "you") as in it isn't benefitting me. but due to the specific brain worms i have it made me laugh interpreting it in a gay person way. like thats so true, shame is kind of antithetical to serving
The fact that the Marchioness of Cholmondeley is cheating on her husband, the Marquess of Cholmondeley with bald-headed William when her own husband is 63 and still looks like this… head full of hair? AND he has a beautiful home??? Girl
dude your posture was so fucked up last night bro. your shoulders were so rounded man what the hell. your ears and shoulders were NOT lined up with your vertical midline and it was scaring all the hoes.
What's a tweet that's so canonical in your mind you make shorthand reference to it, even if people might not know what you're talking about? (I sometimes just say "uh oh y'all it's gettin' kinda hazy" expecting people to get it)
there should genuinely be ways to set your browser and social feeds to not display AI generated content. i know that is not gonna happen bc it interrupts the tech money grab thats happening rn but like....ethically it should exist
BUT now the farmers market account keeps watching my instagram stories and its like ok this is where i go to signal i am spiraling this is NOT information i want used to set me up on a date....please look away while i post that im listening to Agony by Yung Lean at 9am
anyone who is capable of finding anything negative in me posting this link... what the fuck is wrong with you? this is him. this is a recording of our first conversation and it exposed him to the world. this shit changed thousands of lives.
@hell_doe
lmfao EXACTLY. i feel like a lot of these places operate on kind of random days of the week too like i can barely remember my own schedule what am i supposed to do with this
backup cameras are overkill. they are an insult to the divine connection between man and machine. you should simply have an innate awareness of where the car is. if you listen to your heart you will know
last night i texted someone and they didn't have my number saved and i was embarrassed and didn't want to explain so i texted them a link to cheap ray bans so they would think i was a bot
this might shock some of y’all but two bisexuals of the opposite gender who are dating is not and will never be the same as two heterosexual people dating
(drank on an empty stomach and a medication i'm not supposed to drink on, did a few bumps, stayed out til 4 am, slept 3 hours, drank a cold brew, biked 12 miles) hey does anyone know why i feel like shit rn?
wrong. MM/DD/YYYY more effectively represents how we use the calendar and also it makes more sense when youre saving files and can auto sort them so items from the same month stay together
@jeandeauxmusic
Zip it. BTW, I lived in Chicago for a long time. Kept a loaded shotgun under my bed because I lived very near Cabrini Green. Now Chicago wants even more. You should visit Galts Gulch. It's a fantastic place.
took winnie to the vet yesterday and the vet pulled her fur and then was like "sorry i love huskies i was hoping she was blowing her coat because its really fun to pull it out in clumps" but like i understood her exactly. it is really satisfying to get a good chunk
y'all always have time to talk about Megan thee Stallion but what about Jesus thee Salvation? if he hadn't died for our sins we would all be having an eternal "hot girl summer" in hell! talk about that!
drunk people keep wandering into the dog pop up and not realizing it's a dog bar and being so shook lol. some girl just stumbled in and saw winnie and screamed "A REAL LIVE PEANUT"
YALL imlaughjng i SWORE this dress was gonna be hot but i look like the ghost of a dust bowl era widow whos evil husband died of scarlet fever then went thru a hoe phase that ended w being hospitalized for hysteria & jumped out the window of the psych ward & haunts the building
sometimes i still laugh thinking about when i was 19 and stupid and paid for my own plan b and then venmo requested the guy like 5 years later and he paid it fhkjffdjkv
just went into the deli and the guy at the counter was drunk as hell wearing sunglasses inside and the lady who works at the laundromat next door was smoking a cig inside with him lol
lmfao im at a bar with a guy and a different guy saw me about to pay for my own drink and intervened and paid for both mine and the guy i'm with's. that's so fucking alpha lmaooo