In the early seventies, within MY neighborhood, Stephen Sondheim, Katharine Hepburn & Bob fucking Dylan lived side-by-side-by-SIDE. (The three of 'em did NOT get along.) For all the messy details? Book my next
@BoweryBoys
tour on Nov 1st:
Yes NYC has a homeless problem. But it’s currently dealing with a-bunch-of-idiot-teens-waiting-for-SNL/Harry-Styles-tickets-on-Goddamn-Thursday CRISIS.
I first met Pat Caddell via
@AnnCoulter
. Immediately knew he'd be weird, funny and brilliant on
#RedEye
. And he didn't disappoint. Caddell was a complete original and I'm very sad about this. RIP...
I am very sorry about Jasper,
@DanaPerino
. And I legit think
@FiveFanPS
is almost as shattered as you are! I never had to ask the question, "who's a good boy?" because the answer was clear: It was Jasper. Jasper was THE good boy.
Thaaaaanks
@AnnCoulter
. I’m rarely star struck. But Ann allowing me to embarrass myself in front of the man that is
@Eck43
?? Cmon. He’s the coolest of the cool!
I love the whole "I had a dream growing up..." thing. That's actually not relatable. Most of us didn't have a dream. We were born, had to deal with that, and tried to live our lives. Frankly I can't believe I'm STILL alive.
I gotta go to bed. But I bump into
#RedEye
fans weekly. And they're the goddamn best. They always preface everything with "I'm sure ur sick of talking about it...". But I'm really not. I was extremely proud of that goddamn thing.
I'm now trying to think of a positive NYC update. Oh here's one: That whole derelict-trying-to-punch-u-in-the-face-if-u-don't-give-him-a-cigarette thing that made Manhattan in the 70s so edgy? It's totally back.
EVERY bar in NYC is now an outdoor bar. EVERY restaurant in NYC is now an outdoor bar. Half the re-opened barber shops in NYC are now...outdoor bars. And it's GREAT. The genie is now out of the bottle, local gov bureaucracy. No going back.
#MakeThisPermanent
And I've almost finished
@AnnCoulter
's latest book. God help me: It is funny as hell. And the lawyer in her also means its very well researched. I'll try my best to argue, but u better come correct w/ this woman.
I will be interviewing the little sis I never wanted, i.e.,
@AnnCoulter
(she's not psyched about it, either) via live, on Saturday, at 6pm EST regarding her latest: Tune in! And cue MC Skat Kat...
You are truly one of the oddest people I've ever met,
@JoNosuchinsky
. It's 2021. And the woman insists on doing Halloween as the early 90s sensation that was Fran Drescher's "The Nanny"...
While always wishing Murray was a ChiSox fan? The man remains my Buddha. And never forget: Bill's sister (who's an actual SISTER...i.e., a nun) babysat me
@jonathanschulz
&
@AlfredSchulz
back in the day. (She was awesome.)
Pretty much one of my favorite
#RedEye
memories. And dude? You have NO idea how much behind the scenes problems this wonderful anecdote caused us the day after it happened.
Of the many things I enjoy regarding
@daxshepard
’s podcast are his frequent, often advertorial, reminders that midwesterners are the best people on earth. (We are/it’s science.)
I absolutely adored Bob Beckel. He was too big, bright & boozy a star for
@FoxNews
to contain/handle. Rest in peace, not-so-tiny dancer. You taught me a lot. (And some of said lessons were actually legal!)
It's been at least a decade since I last got my ass thoroughly beaten in NYC. Sadly? Tonight the streak was decidedly broken. (But...hey. At least Manhattan is somehow "edgy" again.)
Finally listening to
@daxshepard
’s podcast with Prince Harry. (Late to the game, per usual.) It’s pretty fucking great. And it makes me kinda angry. I hate that Dax is a better interviewer than I am. This was something I was actually kinda trained for! He’s a goddamn actor!
I'm really disappointed that Time did not mention
@GretchenCarlson
in their story. She bravely took on Roger Ailes and ignited a national conversation. The NYT would not have done their Bill O'Reilly story if it weren't for her...which led to their Weinstein investigation.
"If politicians of both parties would spend more time legislating and less time attacking each other, we would all be better off." Bob Beckel (1948-2022) cc:
@kurt_loder
@pattiannbrowne
:-(
I am open for business. (And to quote Val Kilmer/Doc Holliday while flashing his badge: “This time it’s legal, Johnny Ringo.”) Yet the NYC bureaucracy did indeed misspell my name on said badge…
See that teen with the officer in Bryant Park? He was sitting by himself crying & the cop came over and asked him what was wrong. Girl problems. “She break ur heart?” He nods & the guy just proceeds to give him life advice/cheer him up. Kinda heartwarming to watch.
@NYPDnews
I have a lot of friends that worked night shifts on the regular. And as sympathetic as I thought I was at the time? Fuck. Me. Now I know they were the real heroes. Four days deep on a night gig has given me cracked out perspective. I am slowly going insane.
I’m old. But every time I wear a suit? I feel like the man-baby/fraud that I am. It never fits right and I don’t know what I’m doing. But
@LaurenSivan
is kind of adorable! I guess? (I’m so woke that I don’t see “hotness”.)
I've interviewed
@AnnCoulter
at least 20 times. But my favorite Schulz/Coulter mashup is sadly helmed by
@AlfredSchulz
, along w/
@movingsideways
, re: her lifelong Grateful Dead obsession. Trying to find the whole thing, cause it was adorable...
I’ve never been afraid of anything as much as Mitch McConnell seems to be afraid of New York.
I bet he’s said New York 30 times in this debate in 30 minutes.
One of the greatest thrills of my life (not kidding) was when
@normmacdonald
would once-in-a-blue-moon reply to one of my super dumb tweets. He was the funniest guy on the planet and this shitty year just keeps edging closer to 2020 levels of bad. RIP
Oof. Verbatim what I heard via two dudes who thought they were talking quietly as I cashed out at Sullivan's: "Yeah, that's the piece of shit that used to be on Red Eye." Cuts like a knife. And yet? Apt description.
This makes me smile for Ueck AND
@normmacdonald
reasons. Worship them both. But I'll add that the 1st book I read cover to cover was "Catcher In The Wry". That was Bob's actual title of his autobio. It was GREAT. My 3rd grade teacher disapproved of my choice. But fuck her.
Both of these little shits basically relayed the entire plot line of “Little Mermaid” to me, this weekend, without ONCE prefacing any twists with “spoiler alert!”. Now I don’t even wanna see it.
#CompoundMedia
has lost a correspondent,
@JoNosuchinsky
& I have lost a dear friend, &
@TheoCaviness
's kids lost their dad. Please help to make this nightmare slightly more bearable for my brother's family. Thank u...
Had a LONG interview w/ an NYPD detective today (wasn't about me). Was a witness to an attempted murder on 47th & 3rd (the guy got shot...but not enough to die). I live in the most old ass/boring neighborhood in Manhattan. But this is now happening a lot.
Currently on a 21-hour Greyhound bus to Florida. It's as awesome as it sounds. That said? I kinda wanna ask the driver what he makes. I'd go Grey for pay...
Off to bed. And I continue to love/hate you,
@JoNosuchinsky
. (Mostly hate.) But it was a great wedding party! I also don’t know what I’m pointing at, while being impressed by the bride’s posture…
The last time I had a curfew was in my early teens. And I never had anything cool enough lined up to break my curfew. I currently have an NYC curfew in my forties. And I still don't have anything cool enough lined up to break my curfew.
The wind definitely made for an audio issue. But how were
@AnnCoulter
& I to know that? Anycrappers, here's some sexy sunglasses and even more sexy book signings...