Ben Uticone @BenUticone Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

I'm proud to say I needed no help or privilege to get where I am. I achieved forgettable mediocrity all on my own.

8

4

38

Last Seen Profiles

@Dontaskforit2

@iam_ryan_bland

@Ghany40571261

@joseph_f

@Ghany40571261

@odyss_

@bananaman_675

@stw_pdg

@Ghany40571261

@root66

@manishmedia

@Ghany40571261

@BennieGThompson

@4tt4d

@fujiko_a_ten

@abo_sokinah

@pengin_0730

@NattiNatasha

@RaajAli_2

@lukesmith1551

@magic_number_7

@birebirtv

@apHeller

@itsjlitt

@katia41676584

@nezetseguin

@ashleyj586

@MamahSumi

@Cath_Tyldesley

@Ghany40571261

@otokodegawa

@iiccygirlll

@chun_bing24874

@MMA_Kareem

@jameelah30h

@mshoaib336

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@machineiv The point of laws like these is to make them so vague that anything could be construed as illegal. Once that happens then police and prosecutors have carte blanche to target and oppress whichever powerless minority groups they care to, while turning a blind eye to everyone else.

6

159

3K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@BabyTrump45 @AP And remember, these legislators think they shouldn't have to watch inmates be executed but that a woman who wants an abortion should have to look at the ultrasound.

15

212

2K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

8 months

@DoomScroling For all the pretenses about the sanctity of life, deep down it's all rooted in a hatred of and a desire to punish women.

12

102

2K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@newsbreakApp SHOCKING REVELATION!: Middle aged man looks middle aged. You may also like: Look at this famous actress at 23 and now 43. Let's all gawk and implicitly judge her for how a mere 20 years and 3 kids has changed her body.

20

12

2K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

Sincerest congratulations Candace Owens, on your exciting announcement. May your baby be happy, healthy, trans, and married to a wonderfully supportive Muslim immigrant.

77

126

1K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@TitusNation Next up on Fox News: Why can't celebrities just shut up and do their jobs? Scott Baio, Jon Voight and Stacy Dash join us as we discuss the issue.

26

47

1K

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@EndWokeness

74

17

969

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@joshuaomiller Yet if I see a white guy armed for WWIII, I'm supposed to assume he's just a patriotic American, exercising his right to protect himself & his family. Can't assume anything about him until the moment he opens fire into a crowd, but a black guy just being in a place... highly sus.

8

68

991

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

Saw Tom Petty trending. Thought he might have risen from the grave to bitch slap Bryan Adams. No such luck.

20

105

864

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 months

Does anyone else think "I didn't rape her because she wasn't pretty enough" sort of comes off like "I didn't molest that brown-haired kid because I prefer blondes"? It's not the most well thought out defense strategy, is it? #MAGAMoron

172

174

835

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@Gritty20202 This is a trick companies use to get around anti-outsourcing regulations. Advertise a job with high bar qualifications but low ball the salary. When you get no takers you can claim you tried to fill the position her before outsourcing to China or India. Super common in IT.

3

62

806

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@viviennnnee @techstoa The black community says they want respect too, but to them it means treat me like a human. To cops it means treat me like an authority. So when a cop says I'll respect you if you respect me, it means if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a human.

20

52

718

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@StefComedyJam "Defund the police" doesn't mean abolish police. It means demilitarize them and stop using them in situations better handled by social workers and mental health experts. "Back the blue" doesn't mean respect police. It means defend their right to abuse their power with impunity.

14

41

612

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@apixelpusher Doesn't the whole Christian worldview seem to revolve around the idea that human beings lack agency, that the only choice we have is to be subservient to either God or Satan? Is there such a thing as a truly free, self actualized human being in that worldview?

32

23

547

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@Latch68 @Imposter_Edits There's no law that says a person must be cordial or polite or deferential or obsequious to police. Stop making excuses for people who abuse their authority.

5

9

514

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

Saw Tom Petty trending. Thought Diamond and Silk might have dug him up and violated his corpse. Turns out I wasn't too far off.

12

47

470

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 months

Me: The universe is cruel and uncaring. It doesn't care about us or our happiness at all. It does us no favors. King Charles: *Dies on St. Paddy's Day Me: Though I have been wrong before...

3

32

497

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

7 months

@amuse No one ever argued that Floyd was a saint or a hero. He was a victim.

663

2

425

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@MattWalshBlog I'm sorry that other people living their lives in ways you don't like has caused you such discomfiture. Have you tried minding your own business? I hear it's great for the blood pressure.

82

2

387

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

Clearly Elon is not a D&D guy. Anyone who is would know that when you go around changing rules willy-nilly it takes about five minutes for someone to figure out how to exploit it in a way that utterly breaks the whole system.

9

57

405

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@mtgreenee Communists haven't been a thing for 30 years. And posturing with a gun may impress the rubes, but if you want to shock me you'll have to do something really unpredictable, like reading and comprehending a book by Camus or Dostoevsky.

52

5

354

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@The_UnSilent_

6

7

349

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@davenewworld_2 But thank goodness he never put on a dress and read them stories. THAT would have done those poor children irreparable harm.

1

5

374

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@Teri_Kanefield It's funny how overlooking wrongs for the sake of unity and healing is only ever suggested when Republicans are the perpetrators. Kind of like how Deficits only matter when Democrats are in charge.

6

125

361

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@SarahKSilverman If men could get pregnant abortion would be a sacrament. -Gloria Steinem

3

26

341

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@shannonrwatts @AOC "I can't be a misogynist because I have a wife and daughters" is the "I have a black friend" of misogyny.

2

39

345

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@sacwriter @bdk1521 Everything you said in this thread is 100% correct, but there is a problem here that often goes unaddressed. Physical and emotional intimacy is, for most, a basic human need. A rising percentage of men are experiencing that need going unmet long-term, even lifelong /1

175

18

346

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@GrownRoom SAT Question: A shooter enters a store. Over the course of eight minutes, he kills ten people. Nine minutes later the police arrive and take him into custody unharmed. How white is he?

7

13

313

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@shannonrwatts Japan - Same video games UK - Similar divorce rates Australia - No prayer in schools Canada - Similar rates of mental illness What's the difference? It's the guns, stupid!

4

60

315

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@nypost @CharlesMBlow This idea is so good I'm surprised Mitch McConnell hasn't come out against it yet.

2

7

303

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 months

@DiRico_Rants When your whole identity is built on outrage and grievance, when you have nothing to be angry about you end up getting angry about nothing.

6

15

305

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@johnpavlovitz Irregardless.

12

2

273

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@johnknefel @mmfa If you have to lie to kids so they grow up to be conservative, you're admitting that conservatism is based on lies. If the only way to be patriotic is to embrace a false view of our own history, you're admitting that this country, as it really is, doesn't deserve to be loved.

1

35

288

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@trekkiebill Republicans: It was Democrats who started the Confederacy and the KKK. All that racism is your heritage, not mine. Democrats: Let's take down that monument to Confederate general and KKK founder Nathan Bedford Forrest. Republicans: STOP TRYING TO ERASE MY HERITAGE!

4

33

276

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@bees_with @axios Thank God children in France, Germany, Canada, Japan, England, Australia and pretty much every other industrialized nation on the planet don't take Ritalin. Otherwise these massacres might start happening there too.

7

20

248

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@JennaEllisEsq So you advocate a one party system. Tell me, how good are one party systems at protecting civil rights and liberties? When it comes to obsessions with preserving their own power, Republicans are the pot calling the silverware black.

1

14

254

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@shannonrwatts I used to think gun nuts would change their minds if this happened to their own children. I don't believe that any more. If the last 5 years taught me anything it's that too many people would rather double down on the thing that's killing them than admit to making a mistake.

11

22

262

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@david_dilbert @notcapnamerica What some people say: "What does race have to do with it? I don't see race." What they think it means: "I'm not racist." or "Racism isn't as prevalent as you think." What it really means: "I refuse to acknowledge that race may have made your experience different from mine."

3

22

261

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@MattWalshBlog The right to own animals, whether as livestock or pets, is covered under the unenumerated rights guaranteed by the 9th amendment.

0

5

255

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@_Derrico5 @FINALLEVEL The only winning move is not to play... And yet, if Putin is not stopped by some means there's nothing stopping him from trying to annex all the former Soviet republics, one by one. Not good.

25

4

244

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@_SalmanAnwar Music. You have a few greats, I'll give you that. But us? Jimi Hendrix Tom Petty The Ramones Robert Johnson Little Richard Ray Charles Prince Joan Jett Alice In Chains The Beastie Boys Snoop Dogg Johnnie Cash Michael Jackson Dolly Parton B.B. King Miles Davis And on, and on...

54

4

233

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@kashanacauley Gun control has never worked except for every country where it's been tried.

2

7

246

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

7 months

MAGAs: You lefties and your safe spaces and trigger warnings are pathetic. It's not the job or the whole world to make sure you go through your whole life without ever being offended. John Cleese: *Tells a joke insulting Donald Trump MAGAs:

29

36

243

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@JackPosobiec Yeah, about that...

6

0

229

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@EdtheSock I was outraged beyond belief until I realized this has absolutely no ill effect on my life whatsoever. Or yours. Or anyone else's. Lighten up.

2

1

228

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@MichaelRapaport Listen to this dingleberry chant "1776! 1776!" as if he'd be fighting right alongside George Washington. Creampuff, you'd be crying uncle after three days of stale rations and camp cough.

16

5

229

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@TimRunsHisMouth Fun Fact: Statistically your children are far more likely to be abused by a clergyman than by a drag queen.

54

15

226

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@emrazz I hear many stores by fathers about how they protect their daughters or teach them to protect themselves (usually involving physical force). I hear very few stories about how they teach their sons to seek consent, and respect a woman's wishes when she withholds that consent.

3

32

219

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@bdk1521 @brettachapman Seneca Hopi Cheyenne Delaware Sioux Chippewa Onondaga Cayuga Only ones I can think of that aren't already on your list...

8

9

206

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@BNNBreaking BREAKING: Supreme Court affirms in 6-3 decision that there are only two officially recognized genders; male and brood slave.

7

28

201

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@prageru My 70 year old mom can't get pregnant either. Does that make her a man?

55

1

183

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@EireneVapor @elizahardy121 @pamina_q And sometimes accidents happen. And some people are poor and desperate. Their choice is between an overdraft fee or no heat, or food, or medicine. Poverty doesn't imply irresponsibility.

2

5

192

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@elizahardy121 @pamina_q Two of a bank's main functions is to charge overdraft fees and pay out interest. A massive chunk of our economy is dedicated to an industry that takes money from people who don't have any and gives it to people who already have a lot.

3

13

193

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

Tiffany Trump: There. After that speech Daddy has to like me best. I want to be his favorite! Ivanka Trump: Yeah, you might want to rethink that.

33

74

182

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@QuoteDigging @kman820 @littlewhitty And if men could get pregnant there would be an abortion clinic on every corner and every fifth abortion would come with a free oil change.

4

21

193

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@waltermasterson Marching to demand an end to abortion will always be the easiest thing to march for because the price for success is $0. Ask a pro-lifer to pay an extra dime in taxes for pre-natal care, day care, nutrition assistance or head start, and suddenly caring for children gets harder.

2

40

194

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@davidBreece @chadshoemake I've never seen a picture of a burning Baphomet statue left on the lawn of a black family at 3am.

2

7

193

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

7 months

@KristanHawkins Too bad for him. He had a choice. He could have kept it in his pants. As soon as he decided not to, then whether he realized it or not he consented to the consequences of his actions. Pretty wild, being on the other end of that argument, isn't it?

123

5

184

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@KevinMKruse Saying that the Republicans are the "Party of Civil Rights" or the "Party of Lincoln" is sort of like referring to Bill Cosby as the "guy with the hit sitcom". Technically true, but kind of a lot has happened since then.

4

21

171

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@OakTribNews I bet that was the best smelling place in America at that given moment.

1

3

161

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@FredTaming My therapist says I have an unhealthy preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

1

18

164

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@taxwithbrad @POTUS Funny how Afghanistan failed to become a stable, self sustaining democracy even after 20 years of military and economic support, yet some people want us to blame the person who withdrew that support and not the guy who brought us there to begin with.

7

14

161

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@DavidWolf777 Wow, not only deeply disturbing but also extremely plausible. Whenever I commit felony offenses I'm always careful to take pictures of it along with clearly visible forms of identification. It just makes sense.

3

0

145

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

This can't be overstated. Little Richard gave birth to rock and roll. It might not have become what it became without The Beatles and Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis, but it would not exist at all without Little Richard. There will never be another like him. #RIPLittleRichard

8

46

162

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@BrianKempGA

0

2

146

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@UberFacts What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

8

5

168

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@FinBizJedi Unsolicited translation: Sacrifice your physical and mental well-being on the altar of capitalism. Work hard for the sake of working hard and pay no mind to how your labor is exploited for the benefit of others who do not care about you. And keep fit so you can keep producing.

1

5

157

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@Jim_Jordan Free speech, huh? Like kneeling during the anthem? Or books in high school libraries with gay characters?

6

9

158

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

I was a big fan of Bret Hart back in the day. No one ever had more respect for the business than him. People say he's bitter, but his career, everything he worked for was undermined by two promoters, then cut short by Bill Goldberg. Also, everyone else in this picture is dead.

12

20

158

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@neiltyson @airscottdenning The "Earth's Lungs" aren't the forests. They're the oceans. Unfortunately we're killing them, too.

3

7

154

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@ChristiansSTDT Atheist: "I need proof before I'll believe." Christian: "Here's your proof." *hands over a bible* Atheist: *reads bible* "That wasn't convincing at all." Christian: "That's because you were doing it wrong." Atheist: "How so?" Christian: "You have to believe first." Atheist:

6

19

163

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@NickAdamsinUSA Yeah. Thank goodness conservatives have the decency and respect to not relentlessly go after a president's son.

40

3

155

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@AbleLikes @_steamy_mac Listen politely to everything the principal says and thank him for bringing this matter to your attention, then on the way home buy that kid a big ice cream.

1

0

145

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@theferocity This reminds me of the monologue from Robert Shaw in Jaws about the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, being at sea for days, the shark attacks, then being rescued... "That's the time when I was most frightened. Waiting for my turn." Good luck to you. And to us all.

2

10

150

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@NEWSMAX "Conspiracy theorist and right-wing extremist refuses to concede loss in fair election plans to waste taxpayer time and money with endless series of nuisance lawsuits." Fixed it.

54

6

142

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@KevinMKruse @bgmasters There's an obvious joke here about a Venn diagram and three groups of people: -Those who say "nobody wants to work" -Those who say "these jobs are for teenagers. It's not supposed to pay a living wage." -Those who are outraged that positions held by humans have been automated.

8

15

148

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

@SarahKSilverman I don't know if I personally would go that far, but if men could indeed get pregnant I could definitely see a Jersey Mike's / Jiffy Lube style punch card system in place. 9 abortions and the tenth one is free.

4

7

134

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@Brieyonce I've been living on 1/3 of this income with most of the same expenses for years. Where's my trophy?

0

2

142

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@pattonoswalt Everyone on the Trail of Tears got their steps in.

1

5

141

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@ThePhillipHolz Do you notice that right wingers demand patriotism the way abusive spouses demand obedience? Nothing shows greater disrespect to what the flag stands for than to use violence and intimidation to take away someone else's constitutional right to choose to stand or not to stand.

1

10

137

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

6 years

MAGAs: All this anger isn't about race. It's about economic anxiety. Me: OK. Let's work toward a universal living wage, medicare for all, and student debt relief. MAGAs: No. I don't want to do that. Me: What do you want? MAGAs: A big wall to keep brown people out.

4

39

125

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@EW BREAKING: Man accustomed to being treated with deference and respect by default gets his first taste of being treated like everyone else, declares he doesn't like it.

4

12

143

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@ErinInTheMorn MAGAs: Democrats hate us because we believe in personal freedom, the right to live our lives the way we want to, without government interference. Trans People: *existing MAGAs: We'll just see about that...

1

18

139

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@Abbahmustaphaa That vibration you feel is a million racists all running to their computers to research his history so they can publicize every wrong thing he has ever been accused of doing to justify this unnecessary, overwhelming display of force, that could have been deadly force in a blink.

2

4

134

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@WNDU @shannonrwatts Nationalism, militarism and religious fundamentalism. Fortunately nothing has ever gone wrong when the three have been mixed in ages past.

2

4

132

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@ankushwit @kennedytcooper Conservative: Socialism, huh? You wanna end up like Venezuela? Me: No. I'd like to end up like Scandinavia. Conservative: That's not socialism. It's capitalism with an extensive social safety net. Me: Then why can't we do what they do? Conservative: BECAUSE THAT'S SOCIALISM!

3

11

133

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@ACTBrigitte I think she already got it.

2

0

130

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@JohnFugelsang

1

33

129

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 months

Rainbow Bridge Twitter is the saddest Twitter of all. It always makes me think of my Sadie. She was with us for seven years. It's been more than twice that long since she left. I still have her ball, and I still miss her like hell.

9

2

137

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@pattonoswalt @PaulaReidCBS Does anyone else ever notice that the way Trump responds to criticism is very similar to the Church of Scientology?

3

133

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@KevinMKruse LA Confidential should have beaten Titanic.

9

1

124

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@BillFOXLA This is what a cop SHOULD BE. Calm, professional, refuses to rise to the bait, does not escalate. If we could change recruiting standards to seek out recruits with that kind of temperament, and train them to react (or not react) the way this cop did, maybe we'd get somewhere.

44

5

125

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@MattWalshBlog When you say "inner city", Matt, we know you mean black people. Your critics hear your dog whistles as clearly as your followers. We're not fooled.

14

1

123

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@EndWokeness I'm sorry that another person choosing to live their life in a say you don't like has upset you so. Have you tried minding your own business?

40

1

117

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

2 years

@RightWingWatch Not about saving babies. Not about righteousness or morality. It was always about controlling the groups of people that they hate and inflicting as much pain and trauma on them as they can.

5

12

128

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

3 years

@Kempo_FGC @buitengebieden_ Excuse me, sir. Your mullet has eyes.

0

1

125

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

1 year

@JackPosobiec How many windows have they broken? How many police officers have they killed? How many offices have they ransacked? How much property have they stolen or destroyed? How many rooms have they fouled with their own feces? Where is their gallows? Asking for a friend.

172

9

113

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@cybrarerin I worked hard for years to pay off my loans without help, and you know what? I don't begrudge you or anyone else this. This is fantastic. Good for you. I'm happy for you and I hope many, many others share your good fortune.

1

123

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

5 years

@cov_Gretchen I'm sorry this person's choice of attire has caused you so much agitation. Have you tried minding your own business? I hear it's great for the blood pressure.

0

114

Ben Uticone

@BenUticone

4 years

@VABVOX When the military isn't supporting an incumbent Republican.

1

9

121