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@AsToldByLandon

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I’m a 30-something freelance writer, blogger, gamer & variety streamer. Mass Effect & Dragon Age superfan. Winging it since 1988. Sober king since 2021.🏳️‍🌈

Oklahoma City, OK
https://t.co/4cJMcjkp0K
Joined September 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
6 months
Looking for a writer? Explore the freelance writing, editing and proofreading services I offer at . You can also find my blog where I document my sober journey from alcohol, share valuable resources and inspire others to embrace an alcohol-free life. 💜
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Look at theeeeeeese! 😭
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Angelica Pickles needed her ass whooped. Poor Cynthia. 😭
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@AsToldByLandon
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@AsToldByLandon
8 months
I turned 3 yesterday. 🏆
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
9 months
In 21 days, I’ll be 3 years sober from alcohol. 🥹
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@AsToldByLandon
9 months
In 21 days, I’ll be 3 years sober from alcohol. 🥹
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@AsToldByLandon
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@AsToldByLandon
2 years
One year older, 500 days sober! 🥳
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@AsToldByLandon
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I'm 12 days away from being a year sober. This week I'm being tested and I still refuse to drink.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
I prayed hard for the relationship I’m in now. This dude shows me everyday why it was worth it to be patient. Ugh. It’s sooooo gratifying.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
I’m still in awe when I see how many days I’ve been sober. We might need a cake or something for day 1,000. I’m so grateful for second chances.
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3 years
I need these. 🥺
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
This is also happening today! I haven’t been this sober since I was a toddler. 🙌🏾
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Bicentennial, baby! 💪🏽
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
It’s so weird for people not to want to look their age. Talking about “35 where”? Your face, baby. That’s where. And it’s okay.
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Bae told me I don’t smile enough. 😁
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Woke up one year sober and on cloud 9! 💜 Life is good!
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
8 months
Getting sober from alcohol was a total reset. When I made this decision, my goal was to be the absolute best version of me possible. I’m still doing the work and seeing the good, bad, and slightly ugly pieces of myself. But even on my worst days, I remain sober.
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@COLE_WORLD93 Definitely giving Debbie Thornberry!
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
The lease for the new place has been signed. After a very long year and some change, I’m finally getting out of my parents’ house! 😭 Hold my mule.
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@devereauxrobx YES!!!! Charlotte stayed on Jonathan’s ass!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
#NewProfilePic
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
Guess what I did? THAT. 💅🏽
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Set it to 400° and wait.
@Veremthegreat
VEREM
@Veremthegreat
1 year
You open your oven and see this, what’s your next move??
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
First selfie of 2022. All it took was a fresh cut. 😂
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
8 months
The clarity and freedom to live my most authentic life have been worth every moment of this journey. I’m proud as f*ck of myself! 🥳
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
The man in the headshot is NOT the man on the TV. Can’t be.
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
@PopCrave
2 years
News anchor DeMarco Morgan will be filling in for T.J. Holmes after he and Amy Robach were pulled from #GMA3 .
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I gave up on dating because I was simply tired of trying. The last hoorah ended rather abruptly because:
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Pending transactions are so unnecessary. Just take it and go.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
My humble blog is finally ready for public consumption again. 😁
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I have NEVER heard this before. Lol!
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
My man. My man. My man. 💜💜💜
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@el_ruby02
Ruby🦋🍫
@el_ruby02
1 year
Relationship Twitter, let’s see a picture or a video of you and your other half🥹
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
Raquel Welch was one of the baddest to do it! RIP 💜
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
@AriTheOracle @Ultra_Marx
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@zellieimani Prepare everything you need for the next day the night before.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
#NewProfilePic
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Why is it NOT Friday? 🙄
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
My car died today and I’m absolutely livid... But I look good so...
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I’m at the intersection of seltzer and tap water.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I went to the dentist for a filling and got a haircut right after. My barber said it looks like I have palsy. 😭😭😭
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Pegging is a sexual act, not an identifier for someone’s sexuality.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
#NewProfilePic
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Feeling seen this morning...
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@AsToldByLandon
1 year
I’m obsessed.
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@Sirferrell1 👎🏽
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
UPDATE: I LANDED MY MFn DREAM JOB!!!! 😭😭😭
@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Update: • Final interview on Friday! 🙌🏾 • The fancy new car might be going back to the dealer.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
So this kid about a decade younger than me announces he’s going to play some oldies. These “oldies” were 00s Pop…
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Sooo… I have a VERY important job interview next Monday that could change my life. 🥹 Any spare blessings, prayers, positive energy, etc. would be such a big help right now. I’ve been manifesting this for so long!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Did I eat that edible? Or is that edible eating me?
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
I keep replaying @durandbernarr singing “I CAN EVEN SING IT THROUGH MY TEETH” in my head.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
Woke up and went to the gym this morning… Felt pumped, but the mirror told the truth. 😩
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Is it Friday yet? 😩
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Yo! This is pretty funny! 😂😂😂
@kingvader
🎬
@kingvader
3 years
I’m not playing these games!! 🗣🔥
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@doctuh_p They’re all selfish, tbh.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
look you sweetly in the eyes and simultaneously slap your face.
@themultiplemom
Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting
@themultiplemom
3 years
The toddler urge to_____________.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I am SCREAMING. Lmfao!!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
My girl!!! If y’all haven’t heard her song “Pretty Girl Era”, go stream it! Run don’t walk. 💕
@igobyLu
LU KALA
@igobyLu
2 years
Black Pop Stars are in fact needed & Im here to do my job. Hi, I’m LU KALA🧡💕
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
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@AsToldByLandon
3 years
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I’m peacing out for a while. Wishing you all a safe, happy holiday season! Catch you later! ✌🏽
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@jiggyjayy2
MAY18TH
@jiggyjayy2
3 years
Some of yall be having kids on accidents, don't do nothing to prepare for parenthood, really actually be bad at the job, but think you the best person at the job simply because you had raw sex and made a baby. Good advice on any human relationship can come from anywhere tbh
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Planning a simple budget is stressing me out. How do you budget for emergencies without knowing what the emergency is?
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
I’m between two extremes this rainy Monday morning. #ChooseYourFighter #GoodHairDay
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
I'll be 500 days sober on my birthday. Craaaaaazy.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
FINALLY secured an apartment in these streets. 😩
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
#NewProfilePic
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
FKD IS WILD. 😂😂😂😂
@FatKidDeals
Fat Kid Deals
@FatKidDeals
3 years
Hey Photographers! Headed to shoot a wedding at a discounted price, and the host is too cheap and tacky to feed you? Grab this Insulated Lunch Bag for cheap!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
Conferences are fun. 🙂
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
My happy place. 😊
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I’ve been sober for four months today. Believe it or not, I’m beginning to stop keeping count. If I didn’t have an app to remind me, it wouldn’t even cross my mind.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I’m so close to being 100 days sober and I’m still surprised at myself.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I’m going on a date today. 😬
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Whew! This is the day!!! Wish me luck! 🙌🏾
@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Sooo… I have a VERY important job interview next Monday that could change my life. 🥹 Any spare blessings, prayers, positive energy, etc. would be such a big help right now. I’ve been manifesting this for so long!
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
8 months
As someone in recovery who enjoys mocktails, this is one of my worst fears. The lack of empathy in response to this video is disheartening. I hope they stay encouraged to continue their sober journey despite the nastiness on this app.
@MrsJellySantos
Jelly Santos
@MrsJellySantos
8 months
They went out to dinner last night at this place in Chicago and were given a cocktail instead of the mocktail they ordered. They’ve been in recovery and just recently started going out again. This incident put their sobriety at risk.
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
My t-shirt tan is finally gone. 😁
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
The face of a man who’s truly been overworked all week with one hour on the clock on a Fridee. 😩 #TGIF #TalesFromHR
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
@micthenurse @HaveTheRange Okaaaay!!!?? I damn near threw my shoe watching. 😂
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
10 months
And she’s endlessly celebrated over here. 🥹
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@PopCrave
Pop Crave
@PopCrave
10 months
10 years ago, Beyoncé surprise-released ‘BEYONCÉ.’
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
#NewProfilePic
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
People will literally threaten you under the guise of personality quirks. - “My mouth is smart” - “I don’t have a filter so I hurt feelings a lot” - “My personality isn’t for the weak” I tend to believe people who announce how unpleasant they are.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Job secured! 😎
@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Just interviewed. Now we wait! 🤞🏽
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
There was a time I didn’t think this would be possible... Holy smokes. 🙌🏽
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
I can’t remember the last time my hair was this long. It’s getting crazy.
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@AsToldByLandon
2 years
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Look at my friend, ⁦ @JD__Baker ⁩!! Much deserved! 🤗
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
COVID is a real SOB. My dear cousin lost her life today.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@KensBestLyfe That’s funny. I’m actually listening to it now! 😂
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
My barber gave me a perfect excuse to update my avi. 🙌🏾💈❤️ #NewProfilePic
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Y’all… this show used to be a SITCOM. When did we get here?
@paramountplus
Paramount+
@paramountplus
3 years
It's time to change #TheGame . 🏈✨ The iconic series returns November 11, only on #ParamountPlus .
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LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
My brovaries… 🥺
@Karnythia
Mikki Kendall
@Karnythia
3 years
I needed this baby. So do you.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
My favorite color and my favorite person 💜
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Supernova was ahead of his time.
@54hrtz
Terra ✰⋆ IA
@54hrtz
3 years
kid / teen tv show / movie songs that had no business being that fire discourse
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Just paid all my bills and still have some funds to do a lil sumn with. Now everyone say it with me: “DoorDash ain’t shit. I will not order.”
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
@theygotmegirl @TyrannyBanks Oh! I’m with you! I haven’t picked up an issue since Beyoncé’s 2013 cover. They can definitely kiss my ass now. 😭
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
2 years
Listen! You won’t have to worry about crossing my boundaries because you won’t have access to meeeee!!!!
@itstarekali
Tarek Ali
@itstarekali
2 years
i set a boundary with a friend some time ago and he said "ugh. i'll add it to the list" under his breath just know he doesn't have to worry about that boundary anymore because I won't even put him in the position to have to respect it. I can go to people who *want* to respect me
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
Well now that it’s official, I can finally say I just got a damn good job! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
A gospel song.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
4 years
Just realized that I’m 40 days sober today. Hell yeah. 🙌🏾
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
3 years
Put that phone on DND and relax.
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@AsToldByLandon
LΛNDN 🎃
@AsToldByLandon
1 year
Getting sober has done me soooooo much good. I can’t even begin to explain! Everything just came together for me. I’m so grateful. 🥹
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